Shawn Rants about The Real Talk Show

The Real is another one of those Knock-offs of the View and The Talk Featuring Tamar Braxton,  Noni Love, Jeannie Mai, Adrienne BailonTamera Mowry Housely, and a couple of other celebrity females it’s supposed to give us a Viewpoint of African American and Latina Women. But if this program is a reflection of African-American and Latina women today, then Black and Brown America should be disappointed.

This show is real. Real Ignorant.  These women were loud, obnoxious and just annoying. Reinforcing every racist stereotype about Black and Hispanic women for the past forty years. Presenting the Woman of color, especially Black women as shallow, greedy and materialistic.

 For an entire these Black women talked about the most idiotic and superficial topics. Hair weaves, clothes, shoes, and Men, men and men. These women spent a good half hour bragging about their boyfriends and their husbands. And Sex. They talked a whole lot about sex.

If this is reflective of the state of Black Womanhood, then I’m embarrassed about the state of Black women.  I’d like to think if I put four to five Black and Brown women together on a stage they’d be able to talk about subjects with a whole lot more substance.

With things like the controversy over the George Zimmerman acquittal, and over five hundred Black-on-Black murders in Chicago transpiring last year, I’d like to think these so called Black and Latina women would spend time talking about those serious topics than about hair, men and orgasms.

There’s a lot more important things going on in the Black community, and it’s a shame that one of the few public forums we get to see Women of color talk about issues is focused on puerile nonsense. 

In addition to being real ignorant, The Real is a Real missed opportunity. These women of color have a rare chance to make a statement about Black Womanhood in public media. A chance to say that Black women aren’t loud ignorant rude greedy, materialistic and obnoxious. But they take that opportunity and squander it by taking a public forum and reinforcing all the negative stereotypes about Black women.

What’s most disappointing about The Real is most of these women are supposed to be some of our best and brightest Black women. Our college educated successful Sistas. Role models for the young Black girls growing up in the community of who they should aspire to be like. Watching some of our best Black and women act like a bunch of loud, ignorant ghetto Hood Rats is the most disturbing thing about this program; I’d think these women would know better than to allow themselves to be presented in such an embarrassing fashion on a media forum like this.

The Real is pure coonery at its finest. In an attempt to blend The View and with the Real Housewives it’s a program that takes the image of Black women and throws it into the sewer. I’ve seen Black women like JiaIreland, DaintyA, and Colnel of Wisdom, on YouTube present themselves much more intelligently and discuss topics with much more political and social complexity.

Shawn’s going to keep it Real: We don’t need any more shows like The Real on Television. In an age of Love & Hip-Hop, Real Housewives, Basketball wives, Flavor of Love there are enough programs depicting African-Americans as loud, ignorant obnoxious, materialistic and buffoonish. We don’t need another one. 

Isis: My Sister, MyFrenemy, Chapter 1

She’s my sister. And I’m still trying to figure out if I can trust her.

Sure, she’s saved my life. She’s even gone out to look for me when I was kidnapped. And she helped me design a new dress for my role in New Heliopolis as the Daughter of Knowledge. But I really don’t know if she cares about me. That’s what’s keeping me from getting closer to her.

I mean, E’steem she says she’s different. She says she’s changed. But whenever I look at her I still see the same she-demon who tried to kill me twice over a hundred years ago. Sure she may be my sister. But I don’t know if I want to be her friend.

I have a seat on the foot of the bed, slip off my sneakers, and look out at the tall, voluptuous, almond colored woman clad in the pink spaghetti strapped tank top and red pajama pants dancing around my bedroom to the song playing on her iPhone. It’s hard to believe this vivacious, happy-go lucky goofball was one of the most feared she-demons in all Hell. If anyone knew that woman and met this one they’d swear it wasn’t the same person.

What’s keeping me tense is waiting for the reptile-eyed monster to show her ugly head and bear her fangs. This whole happy-go-lucky act could be con; a way to get me to drop my guard so she can have the perfect opportunity to rake her razor sharp claws across my throat and achieve that Ladyship she’s always aspired to achieve through killing a god.

E’steem catches the somber look on my face as the song on her mp3 player ends. She eases the buds out of her ears, brushes her long silky black hair out of her face, and flashes a playful smile at me.

“Er…Is all this brooding and sulking going to be a regular thing for you?” She asks. “Because if it is, it’s gonna put a real damper on the weekend-”

“You know you don’t have to stay.” I snarl.

“I really don’t think you should be alone when you’re upset like this-”

I catch myself before I say something cruel I know will hurt her feelings. Maybe she means well. Maybe she’s trying to help. I just don’t know her well enough to know if she’s here to support me or add to my problems.

“I’m not upset. I’m just disappointed.”

“Hey, there will be other jobs-”

And now she rubs salt into the wound. I look over at the rejection letter on the night table I got in the mail from Columbia University this afternoon and I’m stung by the pain of not getting my dream job again. Even with a word in from my best friend, one of Spelman’s most prominent professors, I still couldn’t get into the Ivy Leagues. Maybe I’m not the great teacher I thought I was.

“This one would have cemented my career as a teacher-”

“Maybe God has something better for you-”

“What’s better than teaching at Columbia? It’s one of the top universities in the world-”

“Maybe He wants you to teach someone someplace else. Somewhere where you can make a difference-”

“I’d like to think I could make a difference teaching at Columbia. There I’d be working with some of the top students in the world-”

“I really doubt the top students in the world need the help of a goddess.”

“Who would need my help then?”

“Isis, think about all the work you’ve done working with everyday ordinary people. How you made a difference in the lives of women at Spelman College and like the ones you taught in the sorority your former alias founded, the Alphas-”

“Thetas.”

“Still, we go where we’re needed-”

That last statement strikes a nerve in me. “We? Since when did you become a goddess?” I snarl.

“Er…Since I was a deemed a child of the gods by Seth.” E’steem jabs back. “That’s technically a goddess.”

“Please. You’ve been a demon for the last what four, five thousand years-”

“Actually I was a demon for four thousand six hundred twenty one years.” She jokes. “And I’ve been free from that bondage one year and eighteen days now. So I’m back to being a child of the gods.”

“Again, you’re a goddess. In the technical sense.”

“I’ll take a tiara any way I can get it Princess-”

“Is, everything a joke for you?”

“What’s your problem?”

“My problem is you. When did you become this big, goofy, joke cracking idiot?”

The smile on E’steem’s face twists into a frown. “What, I’m not supposed to be happy?”

“Not after all you’ve done.”

“Look, God forgave me for all the evil I did. The Elders of New Heliopolis pardoned me for my crimes. Your father forgave me for all I did to him. I thought you did too-”

“I did forgive you-”

“Then why are you so tense around me?”

Since she knows how I feel, we may as well get things out in the open. “Look, I just keep waiting for you to try something-”

“Try something? I think you need to try to apply the Word of God to your life-”

“I just don’t know if you practice what you preach yet.”

“I am practicing what I preach. And right now, I’m applying the patience of Job in putting up with you-”

“So you admit you’re just tolerating me?”

“I just want to get out of the frenemy zone-”

Great she’s making up her own slang. “Frenemy zone? What the heck does that mean?”

“Well, we’re not actually enemies, but we’re not actually friends.” E’steem continues. “Things are kind of at an impasse between us. It’s sort of like everything is on hold regarding our relationship.”

“And you want us to move forward.”

“Yeah. Sisters shouldn’t be like this.”

“I just don’t know-”

E’steem’s eyes fall to the floor. “Look, I’ve always liked you. Ever since I first saw you on the island I always thought we could be friends if you weren’t related to your father.”

That could be why she always said she felt different about me than Osiris. But it doesn’t change what she’s done. “But you tried to kill me-”

“Look, that was over a lifetime ago-”

“What’s to say you won’t be like that again in this lifetime if I push your buttons?”

“All I’m asking you to do is give me a chance-”

“I’m sorry I don’t know if I can do that just yet.”

“Look, I’m your sister. You can trust me-”

Yeah, we may be sisters, but I don’t see us being all chummy like she wants us to be. “Yeah, you’re family. But I still don’t know if I want you to be close family.”

“Isis-”

“I’m gonna go take a bath. If you want to have your little sleepover tonight, the couch is yours.”

Buy Isis: My Sister, My Frenemy on Kindle today! If you have Amazon Prime, you can borrow it for FREE! 

If Shawn Wrote Comics: DC Comics Nightwing

Dick Grayson is an icon. He was Batman’s sidekick, Robin the boy Wonder. Readers watched him grow up from a young boy they identified with in Batman’s adventures to the confident and capable leader of the Teen Titans the superhero team composed of sidekicks, to become his own man. Later on in his career as Nightwing he went on to become a mentor and a friend to Tim Drake the third Robin and Damien Wayne Batman’s son.

I’d love to do a run of Nightwing to show how important he is to the DC Universe. Dan Didio may think that Nightwing has no value to the DC Universe, but I believe Dick Grayson embodies the Spirit of DC Comics. He was the boy who allowed kids to see superheroes with a sense of awe and wonder. He was the teenager who made us understand the sense of duty and responsibility everyday people had in society and he taught young adults to give back by mentoring the next generation. He’s DC’s ambassador of goodwill. I feel a guy who has learned the critical thinking skills to be a detective like Batman but the diplomacy and goodwill of Superman.

And that’s why I want to make Dick into DC’s goodwill ambassador. A diplomat who allows readers to access not only Batman’s family but most of the worlds in the DC Universe as well.

For me Nightwing shouldn’t just be Batman Lite. Too many writers make all the Batman Family characters insular to just Gotham City. I believe that Bruce is dedicated to protecting Gotham. But Dick is more dedicated to applying Batman’s approaches in protecting the world the way Superman does. And that’s what makes him stand out as a character.

To me, Dick is an acrobat nimbly maneuvering through the numerous parts in the DC Universe. He’s a guy who grew up interacting with aliens, demons, amazons, Atlanteans, immortals, gods, and cyborgs. And most of them were his friends. For him all of it is perfectly normal. I feel he should be interacting with more of the DC Universe than just the Batman family.

For my hypothetical run on Nightwing, I want it to still be a detective series in the vein of Batman. But I want to lighten the tone a bit to be in the style of Superman. Batman is dark, intense and driven. Dick is passionate but not as intense as Bruce. He values his time with friends and family. For him there is a life outside of the costume, and that’s an essential component of the stories I want to write. Bruce lives in the Batcave. Dick is more likely to solve a crime while he’s watching the game at Wayne Manor or playing basketball with Vic and Wally at Titans Tower, then go into action and nail the perp.

I feel one of Dick’s strengths is that he’s a social guy. Stories with him work best when he’s forming relationships with other characters. Like his surrogate uncle Superman, he’s not just a superhero but a friend. People like him. They want to work with him. He’s the kind of guy who can fight crime in Gotham one day and solve a mystery on Tamaran, Thanagar or Rann the next without causing an intergalactic incident the way the modern dickish Batman would.

While a good chunk of my Nightwing stories will deal with adventures in Gotham taking on familiar and Obscure Bat and Titans villains like Deadshot and Deathstroke, I’d like to use some stories to explore Dick’s relationships with other characters in the DC Universe. I want to see him working with other heroes like Hawkman, Blaqualad, Adam Strange, Tim Drake (the only Robin I’ll write and he’ll be wearing his red and green costume), Jack Knight, Kyle Rayner, John Stewart, Mr. Terific (Michael Holt) or Green Arrow. And even the man who he regards as possibly an uncle, Superman.

In the supporting cast of my hypothetical Nightwing run will be some new characters and an old one. Starfire would be a major supporting character. I feel Kory brings out the best in Dick and they have fantastic chemistry together. In my stories she’d be looking to expand her skill set on earth and become a better superhero. In my stories Kory is tired of being seen as a pair of breasts that fires energy bolts. She wants to be taken seriously and she feels working with Dick more closely will allow her to gain new skills as a crimefighter. With their history I think it’d be interesting to see how the Kory handles learning detective skills from Dick the way Tim Drake and Damien Wayne did.

Barbara Gordon (Oracle) would also pop in with a recurring role. I would love to develop a friendship between her and Kory and maybe have them team up. (Yeah, I’m gonna be pushing Starfire hard in my run. I think she’s ready to be taken to the next level and become an A-lister)

*Note on Barbara* The way I see it, The Killing Joke (garbage story I’d retcon into an elseworlds tale or something to minimize its impact) never happened. To me, Barbara simply retired from the role of Batgirl after she graduated college and got a MBA in information technology. Like Dick she realizes she’s outgrown her past role as a superheroine and is looking to be seen in a role where she’s taken seriously as a woman. She realizes she has more power as an information broker and a researcher than a superhero. While she can still kick butt (and will do so on occasion), she’d rather leave the crimefighting to Bruce, Tim and Dick. If I were writing I’d be building towards using this plot point towards passing down the CLASSIC Black and yellow batgirl costume to Stephanie Brown in a storyline. Stephanie is a teenage GIRL and proved herself as a capable crimefighter when she was Spoiler. She should have been given the classic Batgirl costume in the first place back in the 1990’s!

With Kory in the supporting cast, I’d also be working towards doing a story where in trying to develop her investigative skills, Starfire tries to take on his approach to crimefighting. Starfire Undercover would be a three issue comedy arc in the vein of Keith Giffen and J.M.Dematteis’ Justice League run, where the 6’3 gold skinned Tamaranian tries to do some undercover work like Dick does at a subsidiary of Wayne Enterprises where smuggling of some WayneTech is going on. Yeah, it’s absurd to think Kory would work undercover on Earth, but I feel we need a fun story to get readers laughing in between the grittiness in Gotham.

If I wrote stories, readers would get a story arc with Dick working a case on vacation on a tropical island like in the movie The Mighty Quinn. This will be a fun story where Nightwing has to fight crime in an unfamiliar city and deal with odd cultural customs. And He’ll have to deal with Kory who nags him to relax.

I’d like to put a good dose of humor in a Nightwing run. Bat-characters are always so dark and serious. With Superman as one of his inspirations for being his code name, I feel Nightwing would be a great book for some lighter moments in between the crimefighting and the gritty detective work in Gotham. I’d love to do an entire storyline where Nightwing has to take on a bad guy during the daytime in Gotham, and allow readers to get a rare reaction from Gotham’s heroes about seeing these heroes who are used to skulking around at night during the day.

I’d also love to do a story where Nightwing teams up with one of my own characters, John Haynes. (only if I got to keep the rights to him) One of the supporting characters in The Temptation of John Haynes, Scott Grayson is named after Dick Grayson, as a tribute to him. (Yep, I’ve been a Dick Grayson fan for years.) And I’d love to see a team up between these two cerebral thinking analytical minds as they work on a case between Wayne Enterprises and Morris Phillips involving a planned portal to Hell. Possibly involving Lucifer and the old Titans villain Brother Blood. FUN!

A Shawn James run on Nightwing would allow readers to not just see him in Gotham City but interacting with the rest of the DC Universe as well. I’d like to write stories where the former Robin is spreading his wings and making his own name as a superhero. Interacting with other DC Comics heroes to establish his reputation outside of the Batman Family. Many writers forget Nightwing isn’t Batman. He’s his own man and it’s time DC presenting him in a way that made him stand out.

Shawn’s Thoughts on the Outcome of the George Zimmerman Murder Trial

Many fear that Black people will riot and loot now that the Verdict in the George Zimmerman murder trial is Not Guilty. I’m not afraid of the outrage Black people have regarding this trial. What I’m more afraid of is the ignorance, indignance, and indifference White America and Black America has towards this sociopath. Many are so blinded by the smokescreen of race they won’t see how their personal prejudices towards color allowed a man with no content to his character to continue to terrorize American society.

If anything the George Zimmerman trial to me is a testament to the power of White Supremacy and Racism in America. Not because it belittles the value of a Black man’s life, but because racist white people would devalue their own lives. Only narrow minded fools would allow a dangerous sociopath to roam freely among them based solely on the color of their skin.

George Zimmerman is more dangerous than Adam Lanza. Why?

Adam Lanza is dead. He can’t harm anyone else other than the 26 people he killed that day he decided to commit mass murder.

George Zimmerman on the other hand is alive. And now that he's acquitted he’s free to go wherever he pleases.

That means he’ll be a danger to whoever he’s around wherever he goes. Now that he’s acquitted, he’ll probably move to another neighborhood. And I fear for the lives of those people. Because they’ll be so blinded by race that they won’t see the clear and present danger of the sociopath in front of them.

George Zimmerman will kill again. It’s just a matter of time. My fear is that it’ll take the murder of someone White for America to wake up and see how dangerous he is. It’s only then that they’ll realize the opportunity they missed to put him in prison after the murder of Trayvon Martin.

Like Adam Lanza, the scariest part about the George Zimmerman scenario isn’t George Zimmerman. It’s the American people around him who enable his insanity. They’re the ones who are going to allow him to get away with all sorts of violence and criminal activity by making excuses for him. Thanks to their justifications for his controlling, violent, and abusive behavior he’ll be able to get away with harming others in whatever community he moves to.

Clearly Most Americans don’t see how Zimmerman is a sociopath. All one has to do is look at his past history objectively to see there is a method to his madness. But instead of acknowledging his sociopathic behavior, America sweeps it under the rug. Just like they did with Michael Miele, Peter Braunstien, James Holmes and Adam Lanza. Denying the problem until it comes to their backyard and kills a member of their family.

What people don’t understand about sociopaths is that they’re ticking time bombs. Because they appear charming and friendly on the surface, no one sees their danger inside them. These are people with no remorse, no conscience, no sensitivity to others, and no compassion. No sense of right or wrong. They do whatever they feel like whenever they feel like. They don’t care about consequences. They don’t care about the law. All they care about is being able to do whatever they please.

And what George Zimmerman wanted to do was pull the wool over America’s eyes. And he succeeded. All because the American people were so caught up on race that they couldn’t see how he manipulated them and the facts of this case.

 Now that George Zimmerman has been acquitted, I don’t fear race riots. I don’t fear outrage. I don’t fear the politics and the rhetoric on all the news shows. What I fear is that a sociopathic murderer will be allowed to roam freely in yet another community waiting for another opportunity to kill again. And I fear that the American people will be too caught up in the emotional debate on race to do something about him until he kills the right person of color. Maybe when it’s a Rich White man’s teenage son Zimmerman kills America will finally do something about him.

Remember this America: Now that George Zimmerman is free, he's coming to YOUR TOWN. And he's got a loaded gun. I suggest you get your own weapons to protect yourself from him.  

Isis: My Sister, My Frenemy Now Available on Kindle & a preview of the next book in the Isis series coming this fall!

Isis: My Sister, My Frenemy Now on Kindle! 

Frenemies! Things come to a head as Isis tells her estranged sister E’steem she still doesn't trust her. But when E’steem is kidnapped by the demon D’lilah, Isis realizes that she has to move past the frenemy zone to save her former arch-enemy from a fate worse than death.


Buy Isis: My Sister, My Frenemy on Kindle for just 99 cents or Borrow for FREE with Amazon Prime!

And Before you read Isis: My Sister, My Frenemy, please read E'Steem: Deadly D'lilah first to get the backstory on the new bad girl!

And Coming this fall:

A Homage to my classic All About Marilyn cover! 

Action! After someone makes a threat on the life of current college student and former child star Marilyn Marie, Isis goes undercover as an Art Model at the Next School. While she exposes herself to the student body in class, the goddess tries to sketch out the details that will allow her to solve the mystery behind who's sending the threatening messages.

Men Define Manhood, not Women!

MTV has this show called Guy Code. It’s supposed to be a program where men and women talk about the social rules men are supposed to follow.

I call it the Mangina Action hour.

What’s wrong with this show? Women are shown as the ones dictating the terms of manhood. Women are the one shown as the ones establishing the social rules for manhood. And women are shown leading men. The entire basis of this program predicated on Men pleasing women and behaving in a way women deem acceptable.

This isn’t a Guy Code. It’s Emasculation 101.  If you want to see what a SIMP looks like, check out this show.

Now I knew this show was suspect when I heard it came from MTV. The only thing worth a shit to come out of that network since 1992 when they stopped showing music videos was Beavis & Butt Head and Daria.

Most men don’t understand that Women have been defining manhood for the past 50 years. And in that time America raised two generations of SIMPS and Manginas. Weak, insecure men who are led by women and follow her rules. Men who do things on her terms. Nice “sensitive” guys no one respects. Pussy whipped chumps who wind up becoming laughingstocks.

Here’s the deal: Real Manhood is defined by REAL MEN. A man knows what social character traits make a man a Real Man. We teach men how to become leaders and we teach men how to behave in ways that are acceptable to US.

A woman has NO INPUT in the REAL MAN CODE. The men in the community establish the social rules men follow. Only a man knows what makes a man a man, and only a man can teach a boy and other men the about manhood. And the unwritten social rules of the Man Code are passed down from father to son generation after generation.

 The problem over the last 50 years is that Women have been allowed to establish the rules for manhood. And as two generations of men have made accommodations in the way they lived to please them, they have sacrificed their personal power. And thanks to those sacrifices Masculinity and the male identity have been feminized and subjugated to a second-class role. Instead of Men working towards pleasing themselves, and accomplishing their goals, men have made it their primary focus on making women happy.

When that’s NOT OUR JOB. It’s the WOMAN’S JOB TO MAKE HERSELF HAPPY.

A mans job is to do two things: Serve God and PUT HIMSELF FIRST. And when I say put them first, I mean dedicate himself towards working towards his goals. Focusing on his crafts and careers. Taking care of his personal needs by working out, getting enough rest, studying, and improving their skills. Having his own life and doing the things that make him happy.

Remember, Men define manhood, not women. When women dictate the terms and conditions of manhood, all a man does is put himself in a secondary role where he’ll be treated like a second-class citizen.

The Real Man code is something that won’t be televised on any TV show in American Media. Mangina controlled and Feminist corrupted Madison Avenue and Hollywood won’t allow that to be put on the air. If you want to know what the Real Man code is talk to a Real Man. All Television is going to do is rot your brain.

Ratchet Females in the Summertime…THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

 Now that I’ve dealt with the male SIMPS and how they make summer miserable in the South Bronx, Shawn now goes into why he hates dealing with ratchet females in the Summertime here in the South Bronx.

Women are just as bad during the summertime as the SIMPS here in the South Bronx. Only they think their tackiness is sexy. If only they knew the numerous ways they made Shawn want to lose his lunch when he passes them by in the street.

A summer annoyance that works my nerves is women wearing light colored shirts and dark colored bras! Nothing says TACKY and GHETTO like a woman wearing a light colored shirt with dark colored bra that everyone can see! If you’re stepping out, make sure your damn bra matches the color of your shirt!

If you wear a white blouse, please wear a WHITE bra underneath it!

If you wear a black blouse, please wear a black bra underneath it!

And if you ladies, wear a T-Shirt, PLEASE make sure that it’s not so sheer that people can’t see your bra underneath it. I have seen too many chicks wearing red bras with white T-shirts who give everyone a show and not know it!

Again, If you put your hand in a knit garment and you can see your hand through it, it’s TOO SHEER.

Then there are the chicks who wear spaghetti strap tops, halter tops, and backless dresses and wear Friggin’ regular bras with them! Everyone sees the bra straps and even the back of the bra. While these women think they look sexy, it just looks UBERTACKY!

Again, if you want to go backless wear a halter bra or an adhesive bra. Or wear petals over your nipples! Those damn bra straps are just TACKY and show how SLOPPY you are regarding your appearance.

Another bra-related summertime mishap that pisses me off are the fat chicks wearing halters and tube tops. The chicks in the Tube tops look like meat spilling out of an overstuffed sausage and the chicks wearing the halter tops look like they’re about to have a wardrobe malfunction if they cough.

What makes it WORSE are that these fat chicks buy these halters and tube tops two or three sizes too small. So their gut is sticking out of them, and the material is looking like it’s about to strain.

Even though they make Halters and tube tops in big sizes, it’s NOT FOR LARGER BODY TYPES! IT JUST LOOKS GROSS! When Shawn sees these Fucking elephants walking down the street in these badly fitting garments, it takes all of his testicular fortitude to hold down his lunch and keep from puking. 

Another summer annoyance that irks me is Females Wearing shorts so short and so tight you’d think they had panties on. Or as I’ve seen in recent weeks a thong.

Damn don’t you heifers know your own damn size?

Shorts are not supposed to fit like a pair of panties. Or as I’ve seen in recent weeks, a Thong or a g-string. I’ve seen ass cheeks hanging out of the bottoms of shorts, and muffins squishing out of the top of them. You can’t tell them that they aren’t sexy.

And the smell some of these females have …Good Gravy. Some of these women running around in tight short shorts showing off their asses and whatever else do not understand that a vagina has to BREATHE. Wearing tight ass shorts prevents AIR from getting to that space between your legs. That’s why you SMELL LIKE A DAMN FISH.

And while I’m on the subject of vaginal care, then there are the women who go out in dresses. The ones who don’t know how to fucking sit down in one because their Single mamas never taught them anything about social etiquette or feminine care. And because they don’t douche or run some warm water down there on a regular basis, they smell like a sewer. You don’t know what horrors you’ve been on until you’ve been on a bus with no air conditioning and one or two of these sewer crotches is on it. You’ll wish you walked wherever you were going to.

Then there are the flip flops. Women love these damn shoes in the summertime. Even though some of them don’t take care of their feet.

Chicks buy these flip flops too small and then their feet SPILL OVER THE SIDES looking EXTRA NASTY. If your feet are spilling over the damn sides the shoe is TOO SMALL. GO GET YOUR RIGHT SIZE.

And then there are the women with the crusty feet who wear the flip flops. For the love of god get a pedicure before wearing these shoes! I’ve seen enough bunions, onions corns, to fill the vegetable section of a supermarket. Not to mention the crust and dust like a Little Debbie fruit pie.

Also, Flip-flops aren’t meant to be worn everywhere. But Women in the South Bronx try to make them dress and casual. And it just looks AWFUL paired with a business suit or a dress! Invest in some REAL sandals with a heel and some straps!

Next on my list are Fat chicks wearing next to nothing and tattoos. When we had our first heatwave a month ago here in New York City, I was on my way to McDonald’s for some McChicken Sandwiches. (too hot to cook that weekend) Unfortunately, on this excursion I had the displeasure of seeing this single mom wearing a bandeau top showing off her fat rolls and her tats. Well, mostly her fat rolls. And the saddest part was she was with her kids!

Good Gravy, I didn’t know what was worse, her tacky attire in the presence of her kids or her numerous tattoos that looked like USDA Grade A Pork markers. It took almost all of Shawn’s testicular fortitude to keep from vomiting right there. The sad part is this woman thought she was sexy. She thought she had it going on. She had no idea how RIDICULOUS she looked.

Some clothes are just not appropriate for certain places. A Bandeau top is not proper wear when you’re out with your kids! And it’s not appropriate to wear when you’re out in a FAMILY establishment like a McDonald’s where other CHILDREN are.

Ladies, I don’t want to see your tats. I don’t want to see your fat rolls. You don’t look sexy. You look like a DAMN PIG. Until you get your fat ass to a gym, put on a loose fitting blouse and some shorts that are the RIGHT size when you go out.

I just hate Summer in the South Bronx. If it’s not the SIMPS attention whoring, it’s these ratchet females trying to show their stank asses off in the hopes of snagging one of these losers in the hopes of cleaning his stupid ass out in Child Support court nine months later. Fall can’t come fast enough; I just get tired of seeing so many people being so tacky and so ghetto.