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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Shawn responds yet again to the Why 70 Percent of Black Women are single blog

I’ve gotten a lot of responses to the why 70 percent of Black Women are single Why 70 percent of Black Women are Single blog I wrote a year or so ago. Some Black women have written in the comments section have called the piece hateful. Others have taken the time to take personal attacks at me, calling me bitter and angry.

Even a Drag queen made a video response to the  trying to attack me.

Hell, I even got attacked by my own sister when she read the piece.


I see through the shaming language, the nasty comments and the ad-hominem attacks and I’m standing my ground. If the piece is offending you sistas, it’s because something I wrote in there about you must be TRUE regarding your personality and your character.

Call me bitter, stupid, make all the charges with your shaming language. I still laugh at you. Because at the end of the day Black woman you’re still single.

As I’ve stated before on two previous blogs (many of which Black women never seem to read) I never wrote the piece to be malicious. I wrote that blog with the intention and purpose of helping Black women.

I’ll say it before and I’ll say it again. The piece was written in tough love, the kind I learned while working at the STRIVE job readiness workshop over 13 years ago.

Now I wrote that piece applying some of the approaches I learned at the STRIVE job readiness workshop. At STRIVE we made people like drug addicts, ex-offenders, the homeless, and Single mothers come grips with the painful truth about their dysfunctional behaviors and how they were keeping them from finding employment. After three weeks at STRIVE, people dealt with their personal and emotional baggage attitudinal problems unresolved issues, got themselves together and were able to function on jobs for years.

In that blog I was trying to make Black women come to grips with the horrible truths about their behaviors and how they’re forming a barrier to them connecting with decent caring Black men. It was meant to make Black women see how others see them.

Whenever someone like myself holds a mirror to Black women’s faces, they get angry about what they see. And instead of taking that long hard look at themselves and confronting the horrible truths people are trying to tell them about their dysfunctional behavior, they attack the messenger.

I find it ironic that in attempting to refute the arguments in my blog many Black women are just proving all the stereotypes men all over the world say about them to be true with their nasty comments and ad-hominem attacks.

In addition to the white men and Black men who have come to this blog to support my arguments, Men of other races have come on message boards to discuss this piece and say they’ve had a similar experience with Black women. Even some women have gone on record to support what I’ve written.

So it’s clear to me that I’m not generalizing. If men of other races are having these problems with Black women, and even some women are having these exact same problems with Black women, then there is clearly a problem with the way Black women are socialized to interact with people in society.

Black woman, the problem is YOU. YOU are the reason why YOU are still Single. You Black woman are YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY.

Now I’ve written several blogs trying to get Black women to understand why the approaches to relationships they learned from their mothers and the women in their lives didn’t work. How the dysfunctional way they were raised by miserable single mothers is socially engineering them to be single and miserable just like they are.

But instead of hearing that truth and taking a course of action to correct what is clearly a failed life paradigm they continue to come at me statistics.

I don’t care what the Census says. That’s just another deflection Black women use to deny the truth about their situation. Seriously, how are over 70% of these Black babies being born out of wedlock? Where did that statistic come from unless 70%of Black women weren’t single?

Something ain’t adding up with those numbers. And the Census never does. That’s why it winds up in court getting disputed until it’s time to…Take the next Census.

There’s a reason why Dr. Santoshi Kanzanawa was able to scientifically prove that Black women are the least desirable on the planet. The American Black woman literally radiates so much negative energy that she literally REPELS people from her and turns people OFF wherever she goes.

Black Woman, Steve Harvey may lie to you and say you’re doing okay. But Shawn James is going to be honest enough to tell you YOU ARE FUCKING UP.

Black Woman clearly the life paradigm you are following does not work. All those things your Single mom, Auntie, Gramma and every other woman in your life told you DO NOT WORK.

Black woman take a long hard look at those women I just mentioned. How many of them have a man right now? How many of them have happy marriages? How many of them have fun? How many of them laugh? How many of them smile? And how many of them smile when they talk about anything?

Usually the number is ZERO.

Take another long hard look at those older Black women in your neighborhood.

How many of them are living ALONE? How many of them are sitting around bitter telling stories about that “no good man” who did them wrong? And how many years has it been since they last got involved with that “no good” dude? 20 years? 30 years? 40 Years? 50 years?

They wasted their entire lives dwelling on a single moment in the past. All while that man they’re crying about who did them wrong moved on YEARS AGO.

Any time longer than two years was more than enough time to move on. Life is too short to spend dwelling on the one who got away.

But that’s all Black women do. Instead of charging that bum to the game and learning from their mistakes they wind up stranded in a state of emotional arrested development.

Then instead of dealing with their feelings, they head to a church on Sunday medicating themselves with religion. Trying to project a relationship onto God because they’re unable to connect with other human beings.

Because reaching out to others, especially men would mean acknowledging their own flaws. Or making efforts to correct them.

And Black women are either just too SCARED to acknowledge they have flaws.

But to acknowledge those flaws and be human would mean that Black Women would have to come to the understanding that they aren’t perfect.

Sadly most Black women would rather hold onto that delusion of superiority and infallibility than come to the terms with the fact that the Black woman can fail, screw up, and get things wrong just like the rest of us human beings.

Black woman I’m trying to get you to WAKE UP.

As long as you hold onto these delusions of being perfect and infallible, Real people can’t connect with you. They can’t form relationships with you. All you’re going to do is repel all the decent, caring hardworking Real Black men from you.

But if you want to remain single for the rest of your lives, hey, that’s on you Black women. All I’m doing is writing the facts. If you don’t want to hear them, that’s on you. No matter what you say about me, at the end of the day you’re still single.

1 comment:

  1. So much truth.Mr. James, I concur with everything you've mentioned here.