Shawn's advice to a Single Mom

There’s a Single mother who’s been posting comments in the Why Real Men Avoid Single Mothers blog. I wanted to take the time to address her specifically. Because she doesn’t see the mistakes that are keeping her single.

What’s keeping her single isn’t the fact that she has a child. While her child and the drama associated with single motherhood is an issue for most men, what’s really turning men away is her personality and her attitude.

Now she says that she makes lots of money, has a great job, and has a dynamite body.

The first mistake she made was leading off by saying she makes lots of money. That’s a total turn-off for a guy. Nothing is more emasculating for a man than hearing from a woman about how much money she makes.

Want to make any guy’s dick get flaccid in a second? Talk about how much money you make. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world, but once you start bragging about how much money you make it’s game over.

When women start talking about how much money they make it’s clear they want to get into a dick measuring contest with a man.

And no Real Man is going to deal with a woman who tries to compete with him in a dick measuring contest. No, he’s just going to move on. Most men want a partner who will help him, not a rival who will compete with him. He’s got enough of those at his job, and he doesn’t need to come home to another.

The second mistake she made was talking about her job. The last thing a Real Man wants to hear about is a woman’s job. When women talk about their job it’s a sign that she has next to no social life. That she lives at the office and lives through her kids.

The last thing a guy wants to hear about is your job. Again, it’s like you’re trying to get into a dick measuring contest with him. That’s a total turn-off.

Besides, guys who want to spend time with you want to get away from the office. The last thing we want to deal with is someone talking about work all the time. Because that person is going to be a chore to be around.

The woman a man wants to be with is someone he spends time with to relax and have fun with. It’s hard to have fun with someone who is always thinking about work.

I’m a writer. But when I’m out and about socially I don’t talk about writing with other people. Nor do I talk about my books much. Sure I could get a sale or two by talking about books and writing, but I save the shop talk for other professionals.

No, I find topics like movies, art, culture, comedy and current events to talk about with people who I want to be social with. By talking about these things I give people a clearer picture of who I am as a person outside of my work. That picture tells them if I’m interesting enough to want to spend time with.

Talking to guys isn’t a job interview. No one cares about your degrees, your job or how much money you make. Having a Master’s Degree and knowing how to type 55 words a minute isn’t a selling point in social situations.

Having a great smile is the strongest selling point in social situations. Want to draw men to you like a magnet? Have a great smile. That tells us that you’re open, friendly and available.

Men remember a smile. And they take time out of their day to talk to women with a smile on their face.

I suggest this woman try practicing smiling in the mirror at least twice a day. Smiling will help her start to radiate positive energy. And that positive energy is going to attract positive people to her like the good men in her community.

Having a sense of humor is a selling point in social situations. Another big draw to a guy is a woman who can tell a great joke. So many women these days are just…bland. They don’t know how to laugh or how to make anyone else laugh.

And it also benefits a woman to be pleasant, and friendly, and kind. Those three things are considered valuable assets for a woman to bring to the table for a man. In a world where men are constantly being torn down every day, they want to come home to a pleasant, friendly woman who can help build them back up by helping them melt their stresses away.

And the biggest selling point for a woman is the ability to cook. Want to really leave a powerful first impression on a man? Know how to cook several spectacular dishes.

A woman who can make some great fried Whiting or amazing Lasagna to me shows me more about her than her six-figure job, her Luxury car, or her big house.

I don’t know if this is the same woman, but she leaves a comment saying that she just wants to have a no-strings attached sexual relationship with a man.

Basically she’s just telling me she’s given up. That she’s desperate. And that she’s willing to lower her standards.

What she doesn’t understand is that sex for women is completely different than it is for a man. Men can fuck just about any woman that offers him her body and not be fazed emotionally. However, Women tend to invest their emotions into sex. When they offer a man their body, they’re actually offering them him herself. So while a woman says there are no strings, there actually are strings when they ask for sex with that stranger.

From the sounds of her comment, she’s desperately, anxiously hoping to make a human connection with a man. And is willing to take a bad connection with anyone rather than be alone.

I say she’s selling herself too short.

Long-term that’s not a good look for her. All she’s doing is showing men that she’s willing to compromise her character just to get a nut off. That’s a terrible trade off of her personal power for physical gratification.

When a woman lowers her standards like that, all she’s going to do radiate the negative energy that attracts low-grade losers to her.

And I believe this woman has worked too hard to build herself up to allow herself to be torn down by that kind of bum.

I’d definitely advise this woman to keep her standards up. If you’re a class woman, stay classy. Because not all sex is good sex.

And a woman getting involved in jumpoff situations when she has kids sets a bad precedent for them. Your kids indirectly learn from your actions. And when they see strange men having sex with mommy, they think it’s okay to have multiple sexual partners when they grow up.

I know from personal experience that the body does get a little out of whack when one hasn’t had a sexual release for a long time. You get edgy, anxious and tense. But getting involved with any old dude for a sexual release isn’t going to help her long-term. A good dick attached to a bad man just makes things worse.

If she really needs a sexual release, I suggest she masturbates. Masturbation will help release all that sexual tension and help her relax. It’ll help get her hormones back in balance and mellow her moods.

Plus masturbation will also help you get in touch with your body and help you become more in tuned with it. When you know how you like to be touched, you can share with your man how you like to be pleasured.

And the best thing about masturbation is that you wind up clearing your head. So you won’t wind up making irrational emotional decisions like hooking up with mediocre guys for bad sex.

There are some great shower attachments out there with nice long flexible hoses that’ll take that edge off. Set the nozzle to spray, apply them to the clitoris and have one of the best orgasms of your life!

Yeah, you’re a single mom. And it’s a hard situation dating after divorce. But that doesn’t mean it’s a lost cause. It just means that you have to change your attitude. When you change your approaches to life, you change who approaches you. Like attracts like, and positive people are attracted to other positive people.

“You’re gonna be a rapist”- Mangina Shaming Language To The Extreme

“You’re gonna be a rapist!”

I was told this on two occasions in my life:

When I was 15, and I was in Park West High School and I was being pressured by a Hispanic guy about having sex. When I wouldn’t let him hook me up with a girl he wanted me to talk to because I wasn’t feeling her, he told me I was going to be a rapist.

When I was 23, and I was working in a Food Emporium, I was on a break and getting a good look at Tyra Banks in the Sport Illustrated Swimsuit Edition like any Real Man would. And some Spanish delivery guy comes in and says “you’re gonna be a raper!”

25 years after my first experience encountering this shaming language I’ve never raped a woman. Nor have I ever thought of raping a woman.

Nor would I have to. Ever since Junior High school girls have been offering me pussy. Hell, since I was a teenager, they’ve been coming to me talking about sex before I can even ask them their names.  

Perhaps these Manginas were projecting their own desires onto me.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to understand what Shaming Language is. And how Manginas use it like a weapon to attack other men.

Thanks to the dysfunctional way they’re raised, Manginas fear their own masculine energy. And some even fear their own sexuality. And when they see a man expressing a healthy interest in sex, they use shaming language to make those men feel bad about having their sexual feelings or a healthy interest in sex.

There’s nothing that scares a Mangina than a man who is confident and secure in his own masculinity and comfortable about his own sexuality. The man radiates strong masculine energy and strong sexual energy will attract the attention of all the women around him.

And the Mangina is scared shitless about that fact. Because he wants all those women to pay attention to him.

The Mangina fears that if a man is radiating that strong masculine energy and strong sexual energy He’ll have competition for the attention of the women he’s hovering around in his social circles. And he fears that those women start to notice that man, they won’t pay any attention to him. So he has to do something drastic to eliminate that man from the social scene.

When a Mangina tells another man he’s going to be a rapist, it’s a sign that he’s terrified of that man’s sexual energy. In fact he’s so scared that he’s pissing himself. Whenever he sees that man, he’s looking down at his own penis and realizing he just doesn’t measure up to a Real Man.

Rape is not about sex. It is an act of violence about power and control. Sick men rape women. Men with lots of issues regarding the way they were socialized to be around women. Insecure troubled Men like Manginas.

A Real Man is always in total control of his sexuality. He understands his mind controls his body and that his body only acts on his thoughts. He can be in a roomful of naked women and while he may be sexually aroused by the sight of their nude bodies, he won’t act on that sexual urge in a violent manner towards those women.

Because he understands that sex is an expression of love between him and the woman he’s involved with.

When I was told that I was going to be a rapist, I quickly realized that the problem was with men I was speaking to, not me. That they were projecting their own insecurities about their own sexuality onto me. That they were trying to bully me into acting on my sexuality on their terms.

I control the terms of my own sexuality. And I control how I act sexually. By myself and with women.

For me, sex is supposed is one of the most intimate connections two people can have. It’s an act of love that’s supposed to draw people closer to each other. It’s supposed to be fun. I want to feel happiness in her connection with me. I like to see a woman smile when she’s having sex with me. I like to hear her laughter when we’re intimate. I want her to enjoy the pleasure of the sexual experience with me as much as I enjoy it with her.

I don’t want to hear screams when I’m having sex with a woman. I don’t want to hear her crying when I’m having sex with her. I don’t want her to endure pain or be traumatized during a sexual experience with me. I don’t want her to associate violence with sex with me. My penis is not a weapon.

Rape is one of the worst things to happen to a woman. It’s an ugly invasion of a woman’s body meant to humiliate her and make her feel worthless. An act of violence meant to disconnect her spirit from her body. And for a cowardly Mangina to say that a man is going to be a rapist because he’s afraid of competing with him for the attention of a pool of women shows how twisted and sick these males are.

A Real Man has numerous options for relieving his sexual urges including masturbation. He never has to put hands on a woman to take her body away from her by force to get a sexual release. It’s a weak male who uses violence to get sex, and an even weaker one that tells another man that he’s going to be a rapist if he doesn’t act on his sexual urges in a way he finds appropriate.

Is the 99 cent eBook ruining the game for other writers?

There are some writers today complaining that the 99 cent eBook is ruining the game for them.

I’m sorry but that’s bullshit.

This isn’t a new argument. In fact, it’s just another re-hash of an old argument that goes back as far as the early 2000s.

Back then when iUniverse was self-publishing authors books in paperback for the low price $99 at the start of this century, there was a group of authors from publishing houses ranting and raving about how self-published Print-On-Demand books were going to ruin the game for them. How Print-On-Demand self-published authors were producing lots of poor quality books and how they were going to ruin the book market for everyone.

Ten years later, most of them and their books are gone. Their self-published paperbacks went out of print after a year or so, and the mid-card authors with titles from the publishing houses who whined and moaned about the books of POD authors went out of print six months before them.

And in the Mid-2000s there was another group of authors (myself included) ranting about how the Street Lit authors were ruining African-American book market. How authors were producing lots of poor quality book and how they were ruining the book market.

Five years later, The Street Lit craze is just about over. And most of the authors who came in for a fast buck are gone and most of their titles are out of print.

But I’m still here.

What happened to me? Over the past five years as I’ve adapted to the changing publishing landscape I learned a lot of hard lessons. And the first of which is authors who bitch and moan about insignificant things like how a book is published, who publishes a book, or the price of an eBook are usually people who won’t last long in the business of publishing. All the time they take to whine and complain about the quality of someone elses’ writing or the quality of their books is time they could be taking to do things to improve their own.

The only person ruining the game for them is themselves. These writers are their own worst enemies.

Many writers can publish a book, but most of those writers lack the business skills to sell a book. That’s why most of these authors who bitch and moan about other writers fall by the wayside. Instead of working on a business strategy to sell their books to a targeted audience they’re online looking for someone to scapegoat for the failure of their book.

What these people are afraid of is competition. And because they’re intimidated by the millions of authors out there with books just like theirs, they do things to hate on the next man, like saying that 99 cent eBooks are ruining the game.

Because it’s ruining the game for THEM. What they want is for the competition to go away so they can have a bigger chunk of the marketplace to take up space in and do nothing with. Basically, these authors are TOO LAZY to put in the effort and WORK towards building an audience for their books.

Now I’ll admit there are a lot of terrible eBooks out there. But I’ve read eBooks that cost $3.99 from trade houses that were absolute garbage. I’ve read $2.99 eBooks from some of these Black authors that were total crap.

But I’ve also read eBooks for free on Smashwords that were great. And I’ve read some 99 cent eBooks on Kindle and Barnes & Noble that I’d recommend others give a try. There are some great writers out there, and sometimes, a low price is the only way unknown authors like myself can get readers to notice us and give us a try. There are close to five million books published in the United States in a calendar year and in order to get the attention of those customers, a publisher had to do something to get readers’ attention like cutting the price.

I’ve been in publishing for over a decade now. And I can tell you 99 cent eBook isn’t ruining the game for me. In fact, if it weren’t for a 99 cent price tag or free promotional programs like Amazon’s KDP Select, I wouldn’t have been able to expand my reading audience.

A 99 cent price tag is only one of the tools I use in promoting books and getting them in the hands of new readers. As a publisher, I use it in combination with other promotional efforts like seasonal campaigns, free promotions, social media like blogging, YouTube, Facebook and Twitter, along with the release of new titles. My mission as a businessman is to always be on the lookout for new readers, and finding new ways to reach them.

Because new readers are the lifeblood of a publishing business. It’s new readers who build the word-of mouth that sell books long-term.

As a businessman, I understand many readers won’t try a book by some authors because they’re by a new unknown author. Others won’t try a book because it’s self-published. So I have to give them some sort of incentive to try my work.

And I’ve found that when I priced my eBooks at 99 cents or offered them for free, people came and tried my work. And when they liked what they read, they went to buy other titles in my catalog.

All these self-published authors need to ask themselves: What is the real price of an eBook? How much is a story worth if there are no customers to demand it? And what value can be put on a story if no one cares about it?

Sure there’s a $3.99 price tag on your eBook. But if the customer doesn’t want it enough to pay that price for it, then it’s not worth anything in the marketplace.

We writers sometimes value our work higher than what it is actually worth. If you’re an unknown among five million other unknowns, you can’t go around insisting people pay $3.99 for your work in digital format. Until you can establish enough of an audience that knows you and your work, you can only charge what the market will bear.

In economics, the price is what the customer is willing to pay for a product. And until an author can build enough of an audience where they can establish a set value for their work that the market will pay, then maybe it’s only worth 99 cents right now.

Let me tell you a story: Five years ago I put a $9.99 price tag on my first eBook All About Marilyn on Kindle. It didn’t sell for a year. I dropped the price to $4.99. No sales. Dropped it to $2.99 no sales. And this was a book which was critically acclaimed with numerous positive reviews from book clubs and readers.

But no one was willing to buy it because:

1) I was an unknown author to them,
And,
2)Because I was an unkown author to them the book had no value to them.

A year later I put a $2.99 price tag on the digital version of The Temptation of John Haynes. Even with great five-star reviews the book still did slow sales.

That same year I put a $2.99 price tag on the Fabulous First Season of All About Nikki. The book didn’t sell for six months. In fact the paperback still hasn’t sold a single copy to this day.

But when I lowered the price of all those books to 99 cents, people started buying them. In fact, All About Nikki-The Fabulous First season has become one of my best-selling eBooks thanks to that 99 cent price tag.

And moving All About Marilyn to KDP Select and offering it as a free eBook has led to that book becoming the #1 ebook in screenwriting every time I offer it.

Last year I started the Isis series with Amari's Revenge. Again, offering the title for Free on KDP Select to give readers an incentive to try the books. To my surprise readers have come back for other titles in the series buying four and five eBooks at a time to finish the story!

An author has to take the time to build their brand. To get the customer paying the price of $3.99 or $4.99 an author has to sell persuade enough people that their books have a value at 99 cents. Once a writer gets 5,000, 10,000, 20,000, 50,000 or 100,000 readers, then maybe they can leverage a higher price for their books from their customers. But until they can establish that brand name, I say start at 99 cents. See where that takes you, then raise the price on the next book. Hook the customers, then see if they value your writing enough to pay more for it.

Don’t hate on 99 cent price tags on eBooks. Learn how to make it work for you.

Shawn’s Five-Year Plan

30 titles in Five years. Hard to believe I’ve published so many books and eBooks in such a short time.

Time flies when you’re working hard.

When I lost my job in 2008, God told me to keep going. And over that time I’ve set a lot of goals and met a lot of my goals. And even as I struggle through hard times, I’m still working towards getting to the next level.

Way back in 2007 when I had my first blog I wrote a list of things I wanted to accomplish. And when I ran down the list, I found that I accomplished all those goals.

So I decided to write out another long-term plan. I don’t know if I’ll accomplish these goals, but it doesn’t hurt to put them down on paper.
This is what I’d like to do over the next five years:

Keep a nine-to-five job. I’ve been working longer in self-publishing than full-time for someone else. Every nine-to-five job I’ve had hasn’t lasted that long. I’d love to have a job for three, five or even ten years, and build a savings.

The main reason I’m working for myself is because it’s hard for me to find work. And when I do find work, I get sabotaged by ratchet Black females and jealous Mangina mangers. While self-publishing has been a rewarding experience, but I’d like to have a more stable income so I can do some things like get out of the ghetto of the South Bronx.

And If I had full-time employment I feel that kind of stability would give me the capital to work on new approaches for promoting books and developing new book products like a comic book/YA novel hybrid. Yeah, I work days so I can build my own business on evenings and weekends, but that’s what you’re supposed to do. The work you do on A nine-to-five job is supposed to help you build your own business. I just get tired of the stop all the work I started at one point because I run out of money and don’t have the connections to expand my audience.

Purchase 4G internet access.  Right now I’ve been hustling for the internet. Thanks to these ridiculous two
Do a book signing at another bookstore. -year contracts I’ve been priced out of owning a cell phone or an internet hot spot. If I had a more stable income, I could buy a USB modem with some 4G internet access. That would allow me to spend more time on writing and target my book promotion to those peak periods on Twitter and Facebook instead of spending an hour or two just trying to get e-mail over Wi-Fi.

In addition, 4G internet access would allow me to make more YouTube Videos. I’ve been wanting to expand my presence online by actually reading some of my blogs I’ve written or read chapters of my books. I believe showing a people a face that goes with the content will allow them to form a connection with me and allow me to build the Shawn James brand.

Expand my book promotion outside of the internet. Right now most people know my writing from my blog, and my promotions on Twitter and Facebook. A few from my comments on YouTube videos and the YouTube Videos I’ve done.

Most of my book promotion is done online because my resources are limited. I’d love to do more promotion, but money is tight. And most promotion like newspaper ads and flyers don’t sell books. Especially in ghetto neighborhoods like mine where people just don't like to read. I’m thinking of ways to get my titles exposed to a larger audience.

Even though the Harlem book Fair in 2009 and 2010 was a bust, I’d like to think there’s a way to reach that larger audience of readers.

Have a book make a best-seller list. My books are known by readers and my blog is building an audience. But I’d like to have a book on the best-seller list. If I can get 100,000 hits on my blog, I know I can sell 100,000 copies of a paperback or eBook.
I really enjoyed doing the book signing at the Monroe College bookstore back in 2010. And I’d like to do more book signings. I really enjoy socializing with readers and I like seeing the looks on their faces when I share my stories with them.

Release all my paperbacks with updated covers. Yeah, I know paperback sales are…nonexistent. But I’d like to think one day a Shawn James book will be on the shelf of a Barnes & Noble. And when I get the chance, I’d love to update the covers with quality art from professionals.

Some people have complained about the covers on my books. But with my limited budget, I have to draw them. And Yeah, I know my art ain’t the greatest. If I ever got the capital I’d love to update the covers of my paperbacks and eBooks with something more eye-catching and visually compelling.

I know my limitations and I’m not afraid to ask for help. And in asking for help I’d love to help comic artists get their work out there seen by a larger audience of casual readers. People who have never been to a comic shop.

I’ve seen a lot of comic book art that I think would fit the stories I tell. And I’d love to have their work on updated covers of some of my books like the Isis series. When I see the work of guys like Bill Walko, Terry Beatty, John Byrne, Darryl Banks and Josh Howard I can envision it on the cover of my titles like All About Marilyn, All About Nikki, The Temptation of John Haynes or A Recipe for $ucce$$. I think their art could make the difference in sales.

Expand the comic book art medium into the literary market. One of my goals is to get the art of comic book artists seen in other mediums. I feel that with the comic book market contrtacting, one of the ways the artists can adapt to the changing market expand their exposure is on the covers of paperbacks and eBooks. I think this could be the next hot market for comic artists.
I’d love to re-release the Isis series paperbacks with color interiors featuring comic book art as covers, and interior illustrations in between the chapters. As a life-long comic fan I love comic art and I feel it pops. It’s got a lot of color and I feel it can really make that younger tween or teen reader pick up a YA fiction book like the Isis series or All About Nikki on the bookstore shelf.

Publish an Isis graphic novel.  Back in 1999, I wrote Isis with the original plan of turning it into a comic book. The “Bad girl” craze was in full effect back then, but my goal was to create a positive Black female superheroine.

Instead I wrote a contemporary fantasy novel that mixed Egyptian mythology with African-American history.

I’d love to see that original vision make it into comic book form. Many have told me Isis reads like a comic book, and I’d love to see it drawn out and adapted into comic panels. Again, unfortunately, I just don’t have the capital.

With Isis catching the attention of readers over the past decade in paperback and eBook, I’d love to finally get that graphic novel out to readers so they could see what I imagined in pictures. With the comic book market changing, and readers wanting more products like graphic novels and trade paperbacks, I feel Isis and the Isis series would be a good fit for today’s casual readers who want to read a bunch of comic books in one single volume. And a great way to reach readers who don’t buy comics in comic shops.

Get an interview on broadcast media.  I almost had an interview on online radio for All About Marilyn if it weren’t for jealous insecure family sabotaging me. But I’d like to have another opportunity to promote my work in broadcast media. Whether it’s blogtalk radio, or broadcast radio, or a cable talk show or even a local newspaper or a newsletter, I’d like to have the opportunity to talk about my books and share my stories with a larger audience. I feel the more exposure my work gets the more readers will take a chance and try it.

Produce an independent pilot of All About Nikki.  The feedback I’ve been getting on All About Nikki screenplay eBooks from readers all over the world has been incredibly positive. The All About Nikki eBooks get double digit facebook likes on Smashwords and sell very well with online retailers like amazon and Barnes & Noble. And I’d like to capitalize on that momentum by producing a pilot episode.

Unfortunately with me being out of work, I just don’t have the money to produce it. Hell, I don’t even have the resources to start fundraising for it.

But looking at the deals Byron Allen made for Mr. Box Office/The First Family and Tyler Perry made for House of Payne and his other sitcoms gives me hope for producing a show outside of the Hollywood system. I feel All About Nikki could be the next That’s So Raven or True Jackson VP if it made it to television. This generation of tweens and teens are looking for the next big sitcom to watch and Nikki could be the next big hit with them.

I believe All About Nikki is the perfect program for a producer, a teen sitcom that evokes memories of classic Black sitcoms like The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and The Cosby Show with older viewers and has characters younger viewers can relate to and identify with. It has a small cast and a low budget. It’s a cheap show to produce per episode like the Disney/Nickelodeon  sitcoms and has a growing international audience. So it can be sold to audiences all over the world and make high profits in proportion to cost.

Produce an All About Marilyn film. Yeah, this is a 99-1 longshot. I know the script is 135 pages long. And the Artsy material isn’t exactly a box office blockbuster with car chases, explosions, and superheroes.

But women all over the world seem to love Marilyn’s story. The eBook is #1 in screenplays/Screenwriting whenever I offer it free on Amazon. It beats out other screenplays every time I offer it. During one KDP offering in 2012, All About Marilyn had 750 downloads over the course of two days!

Is there potential for box office there? Is there potential for a large viewer turnout on Lifetime? Who knows? But it’d be fun to produce an independent production of All About Marilyn and see how the script reads.

Host an official website. I’ve been asked by some why I don’t have an official website. Well, my money is real tight. So I can’t afford hosting a site right now. Blogger works for me in promoting what I do…writing.
Would I like an official shawnsjames.com? Yeah. But I think the name is taken. So while I’d like to have an official site, I’m gonna need a lot more cash to buy the name shawnjames.com from that singer or shawnsjames.com from whoever has that title. So until then, it’s blogger for all your Shawn James writing on the web.

These are some of the goals I’d like to accomplish over the next five years. Can I do it? I’d like to think I could.

Why Shawn Dropped Out of the American Job Market

In the news we’ve heard that over 25 million people who have dropped out of the American Job Market. People who have exhausted their unemployment, run out of money and run out of hope. People who have given up.

I’m one of those people. Let me tell you why I dropped out of the Job Market.

Since October of 2008, I’ve spent thousands of dollars on Civil service exams, job training in computer repair and A+Certifications. All in the hopes of finding employment somewhere in IT or someplace like CUNY as a CUNY Office Assistant. And after almost four years of searching, I realized that there was nothing out there.

I practically exhausted my unemployment and most of my savings chasing ghosts. I thought I was doing the right thing by going out and looking for work, but there just comes a point where you realize it’s all bullshit.

The definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing and expecting a different result. And running around submitting the same applications to the same places over and over again and waiting for them to say no was as I saw it, crazy.

And from what I’ve seen in today’s job market I’m gonna have to say most of these employers are CRAZY. Certifiable. Their lists for qualifications for some of these positions border on ridiculous. I read some of these job listings these days and it’s almost as absurd as the laundry list of criteria Black women have for their ideal man. No Real Human being can ever meet these employers’ unrealistic criteria for working for them. When you have people talking about they want people with Bachelor’s Degrees for entry level jobs at McDonald’s there’s something clearly wrong with the way Human Resource managers are trying to recruit employees.

I’d go as far to say that most managers are living in a bubble. Most aren’t looking to work with Real People, but some ideal perfect person. Many think educated means smart. Others mistake ass-kissing for professionalism. And a few surround themselves with cronies and relatives so they can continue to delude themselves that they’re superstars while the business crumbles around them.

After dealing with rude, obnoxious unprofessional HR people like those I encountered at The City University of New York I realized that I was wasting my time. None of these people really wanted to hire outsiders. In fact, they had become so insular about their hiring practices that no one from the outside the organization was getting in. From what I’ve seen, hiring in America has become corrupted by nepotism, cronyism, and favoritism.

And from my personal experiences a little racism and discrimination too. A Black man no matter his education or qualifications can just forget about working at a 9 to 5 these days. It’s not even worth his time to even waste filling out the application. The American workplace has become a social club.

It’s not about what you know, but who you know these days. Nowadays who gets hired is not based on work experience and skill, but on how someone sates a boss’ ego. A person could be grossly unqualified for a position, but if they know a manager somewhere, and they know how to say just the right thing to stroke his ego, they’ll have that job. Sure they could be fucking up every day and doing stuff like coming in late, or screwing up a business, but if they know how to socialize with management, they’ll remain in that job for years.

Moreover, it’s becoming more and more unethical. After what I experienced at an interview for an IT assistant position at CUNY, where the job description was changed on the fly, I realized no one cared about what I had to offer. These job interviews are just a formality people were going through so they could hire whoever they wanted.

In late 2011 early 2012 I just realized that in spending all this money looking for a job was wasting time. And my time was just too valuable to spend with people who aren’t interested in what I’m trying to offer them.

Time is something you can’t get back. It’s something that’s more precious than money. And every second I spent chasing someone elses’ job was a second I could spend doing more productive.

Like focusing on my books, my writing and my publishing career.

Every second I spent looking for someone elses’ job was time I could have been spending focusing on my writing and my publishing career. The more time I spent focusing on myself the further along I could get on that road to the next level.

And 2012 was a year where I had some of the strongest growth in the eBook marketplace, and expanded the audience of my blog. I learned a lot of new things and I was even able to teach other writers some of what I learned. Even though I’m still struggling, I am making progress.

The way I figure it the time I spend working for myself could eventually pay off with a best-selling book.

I dropped out of the job market because I began to understand how Every second people spend working for someone else is just time they’re wasting Every second I spend looking for a job is time I could use more productively doing other things. And every dollar I spend trying getting ready for an interview to go out and talk to people trying to sell them on why they should pay me is a dollar I could use towards selling them on buying a paperback or an eBook. If no one wants me to work for them, I’ll work for myself. No one can fire you if you own your own business.

Why Shawn Doesn’t Want to Go To Hollywood

People in my family think because I write screenplays and teleplays that I want to go to Hollywood. This is furthest from the truth.

While I have learned a lot about the entertainment business I have no interest in packing my bags and moving to California.

Yes, when I was younger I wanted to work in film and television.  However, as I got older and learned the horrible truth about the entertainment industry I wanted nothing to do with it.

Plain and simple, Hollywood is NOT a place that’s kind to writers. Hollywood shits on writers. Oftentimes, a writer is persona non grata on a movie set.

A writer like myself may work his ass of on a script getting it right only to have that work destroyed by a cabal of executives, producers, agents, and even actors. The most well-crafted script by a writer after revisions can be reduced into an incoherent mess when it hits the theaters at the local multiplex.

Sure, a writer gets a five figure or a six-figure check sometimes. But my stories have more value to me than money.  

Very rarely does a script make it through the Hollywood pipe one hundred percent intact. And in those cases it’s because someone with a lot of leverage like a director or an executive producer has written that script.

How do scripts get butchered? Because once the writer sells their script to a production company, it’s their story. They can do whatever they want to it. Usually, all the rights to the film version of that story are theirs once the writer signs on the dotted lines.

And in most cases after a script is sold to a production company, the director and executive producer usually re-write that screenplay to meet their standards.

That means key scenes might be cut out, Major plot points may be retooled to fit within the runtime of a movie. Even characters can be redesigned and restyled from a writers’ original vision.

I’ve heard of too many scripts that featured Black characters conveniently turn into White characters after the script was sold to the prodco.

And there was nothing the writer could do about it.

As a writer who takes pride in my work, I want nothing to do with Hollywood. If I had to work there I know that my work would be compromised to meet the Hollywood standard. And to me preserving the messages in my stories is more important than achieving fame in Hollywood.

I couldn’t imagine and All About Nikki TV series with a white blonde, blue-eyed actress in the lead. Or an All About Marilyn movie re-written with 30 pages removed like one screenplay contest reader wanted to do. Having a script of my work that’s produced that’s dilluted, compromised and watered down is worse than not having it produced at all.

I know there are very few opportunities for Black screenwriters out there, but I don’t want to compromise my artistic integrity to get one of those jobs. If I did get a chance to produce one of my films or TV shows I’d rather work outside of Hollywood rather than deal with that beast. I believe working outside of Hollywood is the only way to produce a quality Black film or TV show that won’t feature coonery and present Black peple in a negative light. I want to provide quality job opportunities for Blacks in film and television and I believe that can’t be done in an institutionally racist place like Hollywood. 

Sure I publish screenplay books. But I do that so young brothers and sisters can learn the craft of screenwriting. We desperately need more Black men and women behind the camera, and I believe if Brothers and sisters see the storytelling modeled for them, they’ll learn how to write their own scripts and make their own films. With YouTube and social media becoming more popular with the next generation, we soon won't need Hollywood anymore. 

I love writing. But I want nothing to do with Hollywood. It’s the last place I’d ever want to go to. Seeing how that place changes Black people like Halle Berry, Tyler Perry and Spike Lee, I’m afraid of what kind of person I’d become I ever went there. I don't want to ever get to the point where I can justify degrading my own people, participating in degrading racist behavior, and compromising my moral values for a little bit of change.


The cost of success in Hollywood is One  Soul. And I believe mine is too valuable to sacrifice for that bag of crumbs. I know I have to answer to God one day and I'm accountable to him. 

The Thetas Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Aunt Margaret hangs up the receiver of the intercom and smiles at me eagerly. “Those are the girls from the Thetas. They can’t wait to meet you.”

As Aunt Margaret rushes into the foyer to meet our guests, I get an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. “I don’t know about this Daddy–”

“They just want to talk to you Pumpkin. Hear them out.” Daddy reassures.

I’ll hear them out. But I don’t think I’m going to like what they’re going to say.

Aunt Margaret strolls in followed by a pair of poised, polished young women. The curly haired café au lait colored Theta Sisters saunter into the room dressed in double–breasted pastel colored Chanel suits, pearl necklaces, Gucci purses, Church hats, and high heels with a confident stride. Meghan wasn’t kidding when she said these ladies are put together. I look down at my T–shirt, jeans, and sneakers and feel underdressed in my own house.

“Colleen, I’d like you to meet Marcia Duvalier and Abigail Montgomery. They pledged The Thetas last year.”

“Nice to meet you.” I greet as I shake their hands.

“We’re very pleased to meet you Colleen.” Abigail replies. “We really appreciate you taking the time with us to tell you about The Theta Sisterhood.”

I’ve always been told to speak articulately, but Abigail here speaks so well every word sounds exactly like it reads right out of a dictionary. It’s like she doesn’t have her own voice.

“I really appreciate you taking the time to come out to see me. So why would I want to join your sorority?”

Abagail’s eyes meet mine again and she smiles before she speaks. “The Thetas are an exclusive sisterhood dedicated to preparing young Black women like you and myself with the interpersonal skills we’ll need to compete with in our social circle. Our organization’s program is specifically tailored towards giving members of the families in our circles the social education they’ll need to maintain their family’s businesses and preserve their family’s wealth.”

So in other words A MochaTan Malibu Barbie social club. I’m still planning on sleeping in this summer. “Well, I’ve been getting a social education since I was six. What other benefits would your organization have to offer me?”

Abigail isn’t fazed by my indifference to her pitch. She smiles again before giving me her rehearsed response. “While you may have some training in etiquette and protocol, The Theta Sisterhood offers you an opportunity to be part of a network of Black women all over the United States who will support you in your academic and professional endeavors.”

“How many women are actually in your network?”

“The Theta Sisterhood boasts over two thousand members nationwide.”

“So you’re one of the elite eight?” Daddy asks.

“Unfortunately, The Thetas aren’t part of the National Pan Hellenic Council.” Marcia replies. “We’re an exclusive organization that prefers to operate outside of the African–American fraternal system.”

“And why don’t you operate within the African–American fraternal system? I ask.”

“We feel by operating outside of the National Pan Hellenic Council we can provide a better experience for our members.” Marcia answers. “Our sisterhood is a lot closer than most of the chapters in the elite eight.”

“So you tend to retain more members.” Daddy inquires.

“Yes. While many of the members of the elite eight have left their sororities over the years all of our members like your late mother and your aunt Margaret have maintained lifetime relationships with The Thetas throughout its nearly sixty year history.”

“The support your Aunt has given me over the past few months mentoring me has helped me tremendously in planning my future.” Abigail persuades.

Aunt Margaret smiles as she takes her cue to come in on their sales pitch. “And I’d like to offer you that same support when I sponsor you for initiation into The Thetas this summer.”

“Hold on. This summer?–”

“With the semester being over I think this would be a wonderful opportunity for you to network, build up your interpersonal skills and add some extracurricular activities to your academic experience.” Aunt Margaret chimes.

“I just came in the door from finishing sophomore year at NYU–”

“And the best time for you to pledge us is during undergraduate.” Marcia says. “It’ll help you smoothly transition into our network of contacts after graduation.”

“I’m just not eager to head back out to a sorority house on campus–”

The girls laugh. “The Theta House isn’t on a college campus Colleen.” Abigail replies. As I stated before, this is an exclusive organization. We’re not affiliated with any university.”

That doesn’t help with the sale. “So what’s with this sponsoring? Is there a sign–up sheet somewhere?”

Abigail and Marcia giggle at me. The way they snicker at me makes me feel like I’m being laughed at, not laughed with. “Sign up sheet?” Abigail giggles. “The Thetas don’t do signup sheets Colleen. All Theta Pledges have to be sponsored by family members.”

“With your aunt and your late mother both being exemplary members in good standing, you more than meet the qualifications for admission into The Thetas.”

“If your mother were still alive, she’d definitely want you to be a part of The Thetas.” Aunt Margaret says.

“Knowing Millie, she’d probably be sponsoring you herself.” Daddy chimes in.

Thanks for putting me on the spot Daddy. Nothing like playing the Mom card to guilt me into doing anything. And me being a good daughter, I’m going to honor the woman who brought me into this world in spite of my misgivings and reservations.

“I guess I’m pledging this summer.”I sigh.

“Great.” Marcia says as she and Abigail jump off the sofa. “We’ll be looking forward to seeing you at the Theta House this summer.”

I paste on a smile as I escort our guests out to the foyer and press the button for the private elevator. “I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

“Oh it definitely will.” Marcia says.

You are so going to enjoy the Theta House.” Abigail replies. “The foliage around the House is so beautiful this time of year. You’ve really got to see it.”

“Maybe I’ll take my car up.” I reply. “Are there directions in the invitation?”

Marcia and Abigail get on the elevator. “No, we’ll call in a few days to let you know when we’ll pick you up and take you to the house.”

“Besides we want to give you some time to get yourself ready. You really need to clean up those tatty nails.”

Not even out of the penthouse and the cat claws come out. Yeah, I’m gonna have some fun this summer.

The Thetas is available only on  Kindle for this Summer! If you have Amazon Prime, You can borrow it for FREE!