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Saturday, August 3, 2013

Bitch-Made™- Ultra Emotional People Who Can’t Deal With Life.

I recently read a news story about Ariana O’ Neal and Davan Smallwood 21-year old single mother and her 25-year-old boyfriend who committed suicide by jumping in front of a train in Queens. Their reason for killing themselves?

Ariana O’Neals mother told Ariana to break up with her boyfriend.

A week before I read the story of Pedro Vargas. His reason for killing six innocent people?

He couldn’t get a woman.

I’m noticing a pattern of more and more adults having emotional meltdowns when they can’t get their way. When things go wrong in their lives they don’t suck it up and move on, they lash out with acts of extreme violence.

Three months ago Dohar Tsarnayev and his older brother set up bombs along the Boston Marathon route because his older brothr couldn’t get a work visa to box in the U.S and achieve his dream of competing in the Olympics.

Adam Lanza killed his mother and shot up an elementary school because she was going to send him away.

James Holmes failed to pass classes in his doctorate program. So he shot up a movie theater.

And now the incidents with O’neal, Smallwood and Pedro Vargas.

I used to believe it was mental illness. But now I realize it’s Bitch-Made™ behavior. Spoiled rotten adults throwing adult temper tantrums because they can’t get their way in life. Emotionally immature and stuck in a state of arrested development, these are people who grew up being given everything they wanted in life. When someone says NO to them or things go wrong in their lives they lose it.

Instead of thinking of finding a way to overcome life’s obstacles, they get frustrated. And when they get frustrated they explode in rage. Some get violent and fight. Others kill themselves. And in the worst case scenarios, they go out and get a gun and kill others.

Bitch-Made™ people have been given lots of material things by their parents but were never taught the social skills they’d need to survive in life. They have no discipline, self-control, or an understanding of how to deal with or control their own emotions. They haven’t been taught the coping skills needed to deal with painful things like rejection, failure, loss and tragedy. They haven’t been taught interpersonal skills on how to communicate effectively with others. Nor have they been taught the critical thinking skills to reason and solve problems with.

Usually the products of single-parent female headed households or households with two emotionally unavailable parents, spoiled rotten Bitch-Made™ people are given lots of material things to compensate for their lack of emotional support or nurturing. It’s this overcompensation that leads to these men and women growing up with a sense of entitlement. And their sense of entitlement is the main reason why they have a hard time dealing with the everyday obstacles of life. They feel everything in the world has to go their way…Or else.

In the case of Ariana O’Neal, she felt entitled to have her boyfriend live with her, her mother and her 2-year-old daughter in her mother’s apartment. Here was a 21-year-old-grown woman who was running away from home.

Run that through your mind. A 21-year-old adult with a 2 year old child to take care of running away from home like an eight-year-old. If that isn’t spoiled rotten Bitch-Made™ behavior I don’t know what is.

If she didn’t like her mother’s rules this 21-year-old ADULT could have just moved out. But because she was spoiled and had a sense of entitlement, she and her boyfriend decided to kill themselves. A grown person’s temper tantrum. A way of saying “I’ll show you” to mom.

And In the case of Pedro Vargas he felt entitled to having a girlfriend. He thought because he had been abusing steroids to get a big, muscular body women were supposed to come after him.

Again, a sense of entitlement instilled in him probably by his mother who probably told him he was special. When he found out that the world didn’t see him that way, he lost it and went on a killing spree. Again, a grown person’s tempertatrum.

None of these people was told by their parents that about the harsh realities of living in the Real World. In the Real world We’re not that special. We’re not great. We don’t always get what we want. Other people can say NO to us.

Nor were never taught how to control their emotions. When they can’t get their way, Bitch-Made™ people lash out go to extremes. Their reaction to being told no or not getting their way is to have emotional meltdowns, some filled with crying and screaming. Others steal when denied something. A few destroy property in rampages. Or in the most extreme cases they go out get weapons, kill themselves or kill others.

What these spoiled adults don’t understand is that the solution to life’s problems is not to kill oneself or to go out and get a gun and kill others. It’s to persevere and find another way to achieve one’s goals. But because men and women aren’t being taught the social intangibles by their parents, schools or even the media they watch and listen to, they aren’t learning the discipline, and character that will allow them to cope whenever life throws an obstacle in their way.

Hearing the word NO is a good thing. No doesn’t mean we’re bad. It just means we can’t have what we want. Hearing the word NO is a good thing. It allows us to build discipline and character. It teaches us patience and self-control. It keeps us safe from harming ourselves and harming others. Sometimes what we want isn’t good for us. We can’t see down the road of life. Sometimes that thing we want is something that will derail our lives. And sometimes it will kill us.

Now I’ve had to deal with lots of disappointments and failures in life. I had to spend a fifth year in High school. I didn’t get a job with STRIVE after volunteering there for a year and giving them my best work. I’ve been fired from two jobs I thought would start my career. I’ve had three books that were rejected over 500 times each by literary agents and publishers. I’ve had girls tell me that they weren’t interested in me. I’ve heard NO a lot in my life. And it hurt a lot of times.

But I dusted myself off and kept moving on. Throughout my life I’ve come to understand that perseverance is the only way to overcome adversity.

When it came to the jobs I got fired from I was frustrated and angry about a lot of it. But I never once thought of taking a gun and going out to shoot a bunch of innocent people. The way I saw things, it just didn’t work out. Learn the life lessons from that failure then move on.

Nor have I thought about killing myself. I know if I go out of the game, I’ll never achieve my goals. I know if God has something else for me, and if I keep working at it I’ll eventually get what He wants me to have.

I was blessed to learn discipline and character growing up. But most of today’s kids and some of today’s adults aren’t learning those valuable life lessons. They don’t know how to overcome life’s obstacles and solve its problems.

And over the last 20-25 years more and more people are having adult meltdowns because they weren’t raised on how to deal with the life’s everyday problems. My fear is that the danger of Bitch-Made™ adults and their violent tantrums is going to get worse over the next decade. People today just don’t have the discipline or the character to overcome the obstacles in life like their fathers and grandfathers had 40 years ago. If someone had taught these people discipline back then, we wouldn’t have all this bloodshed right now.

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