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Friday, December 6, 2013

The AFROSIMPTRICKS™ PART 2 – The BOHOE CHICK

In a previous blog I talked about the AFROSIMPTRICK male, a Bitch-Made™ Mama’s boy who goes out and puts on a Made in Taiwan Dashiki and talks about protecting the “Black queens” and helping the community while he courts nonblack women and goes out and spends money with every other business but a Black-owned one. Now I’ll discuss his female counterpart the BOHOE.


What is a BOHOE? A BOHOE is a Black woman who runs around talking about Pro Blackness on the outside, but is secretly a fan of White Supremacy on the inside. She can easily be identified her by her natural hairstyles such as braids, afros, and dreadlocks, her Made in China caftan and her Gucci sandals. She goes by Pseudoafrocnetric names like Amiri Shabazz Brown and Masala Moon Skye. 


She'll usually be employed in the arts as a freelancer doing things like painting, one-woman shows, or plays that she's always in the process of working on. When are these projects ever finished? Usually: NEVER. 


But somehow she always finds a SIMP with big pockets to fund them and her $7 coffee house lattes, and the cell phone bill of the iphone she carries in her$500  Gucci purse. BOHOES love to talk about going back to Africa, to Black people but love their American amenities.  


A BOHOE’s hobbies include going to coffee houses, reciting poetry, quoting Black feminists and sipping herbal tea. BOHOES are known for their strict stance on being vegetarians and only eating what comes from the earth when she’s around other Black people.


The BOHOE loves to talk about how she is a queen. A woman of virtue. And how Black men and Black women need to worship her like the great Queens of Africa. BOHOES believe they are superior to other Black people because she has discovered “The way” and that other Black people are “lost.” And need her “guidance” to find themselves. How Black people are so ignorant they are and how they need to read a book and read about their history.


She’s the type to shame other Black women who wear processed hair and wear business clothes. She’ll talk about how they’re sellouts and traitors to the race. How they serve a White Jesus (ok, this is true) and she needs to find their inner goddess and their spiritual energy to become a strong Black woman like her.


She’s also the type to shame Black men who she dates and gets involved with. When they ask to date her she'll insist on a long courtship. And when they ask for her to have a sexual relationship with them, she’ll talk all about chastity and virtue, and being disciplined. She’ll talk about how Black men have to be like African kings who would have the discipline to wait for marriage to be with her the African Queen like her.


She’ll tell everyone in the Black community that they need to support her poetry and art projects such as her one-woman shows, her art gallery projects, or her films. And if they don’t they’re Uncle Toms and Handkerchief heads.


All the while talking on her $500 iPhone and sipping on her $7 latte at while she does business in a White-owned coffee house.


That’s right The BOHOE is a hypocrite. A Negro Bed Wench looking to get ahead at the expense of Black people. Ask her to support another black-owned business and she'll tell you that those Black folks have to pull themselves up by their bootstraps like she does. 


BOHOES talk all about virtue and Black Pride in the presence of Black women and Black men, but when one examines her ACTIONS more closely, they see she’s a bigger sellout than Oprah Winfrey, Shondra Rhimes and Halle Berry combined.


Usually, the BOHOE does her best not to spend much time around Black people. No, she spends most of her time around White people.


The BOHOE loves her position as a token in the White community. Her goal by presenting an image of “natural Blackness” is to be the “representative” of what Black people are to White people.


And when she gets around White people, especially White men all of a sudden her values CHANGE.


In the presence of White women, she becomes a giggling bimbo. White girls can sit around her tossing around racial slurs like nigger, call Blacks you people and talk about a Black man’s penis size and instead of standing up for their kings, these BOHOE chicks will sit there and smile and nod. Some will even talk about how much they like a White Woman’s hair. A few will even say they wish they had hair like theirs. She’ll even say she’s “not like those other Black people.”


And in the presence of a White man, she goes crazy. The BOHOE will become a totally different person. Her voice will go up three octaves, and she’ll be all over him flirting and making passes. And when a White man makes advances on her, he doesn’t have to wait for marriage.


No, her panties down to her ankles and she’s bending over to take that cock inside her in the bathroom stall of that coffee house she does business in. BOHOES freak for the White cock like a crackhead fiends for the crack rock. When it comes to sex, a BOHOE is known to do it all and then some for a white boy. She’ll have the freakiest sex with him known to imagination. Woman on top, sideways, piledriver, oral, anal, salad tossing, cum swallowing, scat, underwater, Whipped cream and jelly. Nothing is off the table for a BOHOE when Mr. Charlie asks for sex.


But the few brothers she offers sex (the very few SIMPS who endure jumping through her numerous hoops) they  have to only do it with her in the missionary position. And they can’t look at her.


Because she’s a goddess and a Queen.


And if White Boys want to take her out for a date, she’s not eating vegetarian. No, she’ll have a big ol’ plate of barbecue ribs if that’s a White Man’s thing. Want to see a BOHOE with a Burger? Watch her on a date with a White man. She’ll tell him everything comes from the Earth, so it’s all good while licking barbecue sauce off her fingers.


But she’ll tell Black people that animals have souls and that they need to eat a plant based diet of vegetables and herbs.


In her eyes Black folks can only drink herbal tea. But the BOHOE Queen has to have milk in her coffee.


BOHOES will spend their time around White folks hoping, wishing and praying a White man will marry them. But oftentimes once she’s been used and abused by White men and laughed at by White women for being a skank, she heads back to the Black community bitter and dejected. Sometimes as a Boho artist, other times as a Born-Again™ Christian who has found the true way in Jesus Christ.


Ironic how she finds the White Man’s Religion after years of being a Pro-Black  AFROSIMPTRICK.


In all cases these washed up BOHOES are looking for a Good Black Man™ to play Captain-Save-A-Hoe and save her from being single for the rest of her life.  And because they fall for her shaming tactics, some poor SIMP winds up giving this chick a ring and all he winds up with is bunch of debt from unfinished art projects, one woman shows, plays and films, and a bad case of Chlamydia.



Brothers, the BOHOE lives Black, but sleeps White. She’s an AFROSIMPTRICK who uses Black culture to enrich herself. She’s not about Black pride, but White Supremacy. Her ultimate goal isn’t about empowering black men and building something in the Black community, but being the Master’s Bed Wench in the White Community. Avoid the BOHOE at all costs! 

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