I don’t want to write this blog. But I feel I need to write
it so I can move on. I haven’t been able to talk about this for five years because it hurt so much. But I
finally feel I can finally tell my side of the story.
Five years ago I started a job at the City College of New
York as a CUNY Office Assistant. Working in their Science and Engineering
Library over the course of seven months, I learned lessons I’ll never forget.
Lessons in racism, discrimination, Black female privilege, and the insecurity
of Manginas. Lessons I hope you brothers and sisters can learn from and
overcome the numerous pitfalls I encountered five years ago.
Having been out of work for several years and coming out of
a depression that lasted a year, I wanted to make a good first impression on my
new employer. So the day before I was supposed to start April 1, 2008, I went
there to meet my co-workers and get a sense of my workplace before I started
working there. I asked several questions about workplace etiquette and things
like overtime. I was told by the Chief Librarian that overtime was something
that happened once and a while, when a student worker had a paper or something.
On my visit, I also learned about the insidious nature of
the Mangina. This Professor/Chief Librarian, who was supposed to be my
supervisor, instead passed his authority onto my Co-worker and made her my
supervisor. This is a classic tactic Manginas use to avoid dealing with
conflict.
What this professor was doing was ABDICATING his authority
as a manager and refusing to take RESPONSIBILITY for his duties. Hiding behind
the skirt of a Black woman, someone who he established in a de facto management
position.
Manginas love to put women like office assistants in de
facto management positions so they won’t have to deal with conflict. Then when
things go wrong they have a scapegoat to blame all their problems and failures
on.
When I got there the next day to officially start my official
first day of work, The Dean who managed the library told me that the professor
who was the Chief librarian was my real supervisor.
But the day before told me that my fellow COA was going to
be my supervisor. I asked myself: who’s the boss of this library? Who’s really running
things?
The issue over who my supervisor officially or unofficially would
be was a clear sign there was dysfunction in the mismanagement of the City
College Science Library. Now there were some red flags around me telling me about
how things were falling apart there, like a filthy red carpet, books that were
over a hundred years old on the shelves, (Shouldn’t those have been archived)
and decrepit Dell computers that were six or seven years old.
You can tell if a college is quality from its computers and
its library. If you see OLD computers in a library on campus, that college is
FUCKED UP. When a college doesn’t spend money on its core infrastructure like
its IT or its libraries, it’s a sign that colleges’ priorities are OUT OF
WHACK.
Now this chick who was my co-worker/Supervisor was a piece
of work. A 57-year old who was an Afrocentric with dreadlocks. And not only was
she an Afrocentric, she was a Born-Again™ Christian. A classic WASHED UP Black
woman. Now I didn’t have the game I have now to spot those red flags back then,
but looking back five years later, that was a clear red flag something was
WRONG with this female.
I’ve known pro-Black people who were Christians. But true Afrocentrics
want nothing to do with Christianity. To a real Afrocentric, Christianity is
the “White Man’s religion” and they subscribe to Islam or they’re Agnostic.
Nor do true Afrocentrics inhale sausage for breakfast like
this chick did, because most Afrocentrics don’t eat pork. Another red flag I
should have picked up on. But my main goal at the time was rebuilding my savings
and trying to keep this job.
Along with the new job, I was also dealing with a severe
case of anxiety. Having lost a job five years earlier and overcoming a period
of depression from losing that job, I was having severe anxiety attacks.
These anxiety attacks exacerbated by a jackass next door
neighbor who loved to play his stereo super loud. So loud it shook the floors
and walls of my apartment. This NIGGER put so much stress on me I almost went
insane. Combined with the pressure from this new job, I was doing my best to
hold myself together.
Brothers and sisters, if you ever encounter a NIGGER who
loves to smoke weed, and sit on his ass all day who decides he wants to play
his stereo loud every day, don’t put up with that shit like my family insisted
on doing. Complain to management and then to the police until they TOSS HIS ASS
TO THE CURB. Too many people have compassion on BUM ASS NIGGERS and cut them
TOO MANY BREAKS listening to their MR. PITIFUL SOB STORIES. LET LIFE KICK THEM
IN THE ASS UNTIL THEY GET IT.
Back to my first day on the job. That day I got my ID Card,
learned the ALEPH System for checking out books and met some co-workers. When I
met up with the Union shop steward, a Black woman, she quickly got defensive on
getting approached saying she couldn’t do anything for me. Again, another red
flag.
A few hours later on I met my fellow co-workers in the
Union. All Black females. Another RED FLAG. I believe This all-Black female
Union was one of the reasons things were so dysfunctional at The City College
of New York. In between them and the Mangina college professors, business
wasn’t being taken care of. Whenever a problem would arise, the protocol for
people in both these groups is to Lie, deny and hide the evidence. And when
called to account, just resign and leave the mess for others to clean up.
During this bitchfest of a meeting chock filled with gossip,
I learned these ladies didn’t have a raise for two years. And this was with a
Pro-Union Democratic governor in charge. And I think the main reason they
didn’t get a raise is because these Negro Bed Wenches were too busy Coonin’ for
Mr. Charlie to demand one of him the way White men or Black men would.
The second day there after putting my number in his cell
phone the Chief librarian asks about my career as a free-lance writer. I tell
him about my book. He gave me a funny look. Again, a Mangina never expresses
their feelings directly. No, they keep their feelings of jealousy to
themselves.
And that second day I’m told by my Black female co-worker to
anticipate the customers’ needs. This set off a HUGE red flag for me. In a
library you don’t have to anticipate the Patron’s needs. Most people who want
something won’t be afraid to ask for it. In most customer service jobs no one
ever has to figure out the customer.
Having worked at STRIVE I knew the language of abused
people. And her talking about anticipating a patron’s needs was a clear sign
this woman had been abused in some way or fashion.
I was also told that the students tended to steal paper from
the copiers. Another red flag to how dysfunctional things were at the City
College of New York.
At Columbia University, Monroe College, and Audrey Cohen
College and even the New York Public Library, the copiers have LOCKS around the
paper trays to prevent this kind of theft. But in between the Mangina Chief
Librarian managing the Science and Engineering library and the Coonin’ Negro
Bed Wench running the front desk nothing was done. Why? Because they’re afraid
of conflict. Too afraid of getting blamed by higher up manager for the problem instead
of offering a SOLUTION.
Coming back from a break that day my Black female Co-worker
is on the phone talking about how she was molested and how people at a previous
job at the police department were sexually harassing her. I found it odd a
woman would have such a personal conversation about such sensitive topics right
there at the Circulation desk for everyone to hear in a library.
Again, I wasn’t up on game back then like I am now. And what
this woman was doing by having that conversation in public was looking to see
how I’d respond to her. She was hoping I’d come in and play Captain-Save-A-Hoe™
offering some words to comfort her. The whole conversation was nothing but bait
language and she wanted to see if I could be manipulated into trickin’ on her.
I walked right by her. I had too many of my own problems at
the time to focus on her and being a White Knight to an old washed up grandma.
Anyway, I had been feeling sick that third day. I
practically threw up my dinner a few hours after eating the previous night. In
between my anxiety and the flu I had I felt like I was passing out. So I took a
minute to sit down. For that moment I closed my eyes. It appeared that I was
sleeping, but I was out of my mind with something called the CUNY FLU. Turns
out the place was infested with germs.
Now I had no idea the department head was coming in. This
was another Mangina without the BACKBONE or the BALLS to go face-to face and
deal with conflict. This coward didn’t even have the BALLS introduce himself to
me until he was firing me in October.
Now this was another simple situation that could have been
easily resolved by just going up to me and talking to me face-to-face and
asking me if something was wrong. But these Manginas send their Mammy, de facto
Manager to talk to me instead. All while they simmered in their rage thinking I
was some lazy employee. If these bastards weren’t so afraid of conflict, they
would have learned how to SOLVE a problem instead of AVOIDING it.
Since I had just started this job three days in, I had no
sick days to give. So when I got home from work, I took a megadose of TheraFlu
to get myself back into shape. Still sick, I came in that third or fourth day,
I was pretty delerious. My Co-worker, Mammy Bed Wench knew something was wrong
and asked me about it. I told her about my flu. She tells me I need to go
explain things to him.
Back then I wondered why. But I didn’t have an understanding
of how the mind of the Mangina operates. How their insecurities simmer and boil
in anger until they EXPLODE.
Again, we could have settled this face-to-face and be done
with it. But again, these two Jewish White boys were so afraid of CONFLICT they
let a simple situation escalate for no reason at all.
You see brothers and sisters, a Mangina wants a smooth
world. A world without conflict. And this Chief librarian wanted his library to
be a place without problems. And because his Mammy Bed Wench swept all the
problems under the grimy red carpet, the Science and Engineering Library was a
cauldron of dysfunction.
I had no idea this guy was so upset and had an issue with me.
He never expressed any feelings towards me. Hell, he didn’t even go talk to me
like most managers do that same day when there’s a problem. No, dude sat in his
office all upset and pissy like a BITCH.
What he wanted me to do was go in and start coonin’ and
begging to him like the rest of the shufflin’ slaves on the CUNY plantation.
But with me dealing with my own anxiety issues, I just brushed it off and
continued working. The way I figured it if it were a serious issue he’d come to
me and to talk to me face-to-face.
Now this woman could gossip about me writing Isis to
everyone at work, but she couldn’t bother to tell this same Mangina about me having
a flu. These White boys were using her to send their messages to me, but she
couldn’t say anything to him. Or so I thought. I’d soon find out this Negro Bed
Wench had her own agenda and her own plan to get rid of me.
I should have known something was up when her friend, the
COA who retired after 30 years showed up. Her 10-year-old grandson took the
time to introduce himself to me when he first came in the room, but Mammy Bed
Wench didn’t want to introduce me to this woman. I waited for a good ten to
twenty minutes for her to introduce her to me. When people in a job don’t take
the time to introduce a new hire to people who work there or people and don’t
want to take time to introduce you to people who have worked there it’s a clear
sign they don’t see you on the job long-term.
I should have also known something was up when I called in sick when I had a back injury a few months later in July. When I call her the woman who is supposed to be my supervior She tells me I have to call up Professor Mangina and tell him. Again, who is the leader of the library? The way I saw it This was clearly a passive-aggressive way of expressing her resentment towards me. This woman could gossip about my book and my writing to others, but couldn't tell this Mangina Chief Librarian why I couldn't come in sick
Now on other jobs I worked like STRIVE and Food Emporium, my other co-workers could tell the boss I was calling in sick. But this woman couldn't. Again, another red flag showing me how racist and sexist this library was.
As part of my duties I had to open the library. And I’d
arrive around 8:25, pick up all the books left lying around, and other stuff.
Then I’d return to my desk and wait to open up the library and the circulation
desk at nine exactly. Now I had been opening early for a day or two, but one
day I was told by Negro Bed Wench that I was giving the patrons a sense of
entitlement by opening early. So I decided to lean back and open at nine on the
dot.
Again this was another red flag for me. How am I entitling
customers by opening early? They paid for that library with their own tuition
dollars. They have every right to expect a high level of reliable service from
that library they PAID FOR. That’s the way it was at Food Emporium, STRIVE and
every other job I worked at previously.
But I learned this isn’t what’s expected at the City College
of New York. No, there, the customer is ALWAYS WRONG and is told to SETTLE for
what they’re given.
Now sometimes my supervisor the chief librarian would come
in around 8:40 or so. But this dude was so afraid of conflict he wouldn’t even
say good morning.
That day I was headed to open the doors. When I came to the
circulation desk I get a bunch of drama from Mammy Bed wench about the place
being dark. As far I was concerned we opened at nine. And everything was fine
for several WEEKS. But this day she tells me the doors open at 8:55, not nine
o’clock like we did for several WEEKS PREVIOUSLY.
Around two o clock’ Mangina comes out with his cell phone (a
different one than the one he texted my number into) and tells me that the
INACCURATE CLOCK on it was correct and he wanted the library opened at 8:55.
Now he saw me at 8:40. He could have easily told me that he
wanted the library opened at 8:55 THEN. But instead he waits for his Mammy
Negro Bed Wench to come in at 9:00 to tell her to tell me when he wanted the
library opened. This showed me how WEAK this professor was. Only a Mangina
would wait for a WOMAN to come in and tell her to tell a co-worker what to do.
A real Manager who wants something done approaches that employee and requests
what they want done to be done.
Contrast this to my experience with managers at STRIVE At
STRIVE, whenever a manager wanted me to do something they came to me
face-to-face and ASKED ME. Even Rob Carmona, the CEO of STRIVE would come and
make his request to me directly face-to-face. That way we had a clear understanding
of what was required and what needed to be done.
The chief Librarian only had the backbone to approach me
maybe four times in my seven months there. The first time was about two months
in to tell me to do something about my hair. I was wearing my traditional
flat-top fade, a common haircut for men of any race. A conservative haircut,
one worn by members of the US Military in basic training, police officers, and
celebrities like John Cena and Brock Lesnar. A haircut I wore at other previous
jobs and on the interview at the hiring pool where I got hired without a
problem. But this White Mangina had an issue with it.
Now the Negro Bed Wench who was my supervisor and the
college assistant there wore dreadlocks. A hairstyle considered far more
offensive to a conservative workplace. But he had a problem with me wearing a
conservative haircut. Again, Red Flags
all about.
This was a clear sign to me of this White man’s racism and
his jealousy. It was clear to me Professor Mangina was insecure about being in
the presence of a professional Black Man who had his shit together. He had been
so used to the jiveass niggers, mammies, and Coons who worked at CUNY that when
he came face-to-face with a REAL PROFESSIONAL BLACK MAN he got scared. And he
was so scared that he was looking for something, anything to nitpick so he
could maintain his sense of pseudo-superiority.
I brushed off his comment and kept wearing my flat-top-fade.
My haircut had nothing to do with my work performance. The way I figured it, if
these Black women could wear dreadlocks, then why couldn’t I wear my flat-top?
I managed to make it to the 90 day mark with no performance
evaluation. Again, the Mangina who ran this library was too afraid of
confronting me to even offer a fair critique of my work.
But in spite of my troubles at work and at home with the BUM
ASS NIGGER next door, I still persevered working towards my own personal goals,
such as building my savings, publishing The Cassandra Cookbook and securing WGA
registration of All About Marilyn. Splitting my weekdays between working at the
library on weekdays and working nights and weekends towards editing and
promoting my new book.
One of the College Assistants working there, the sista
wearing dreadlocks asked me about how I got the job there. She was a young
sista around my age, a single mother working part time. Hoping to give a sista
a hand, I told her how I took the Civil Service exam and passed it. I told her
it was easy. As I’ve stated in previous blogs, anybody with an eighth grade
education could pass this exam. And since this Sista had a Master’s degree,
taking this exam would have been a piece of cake for her.
Now my co-worker who was supposedly good friends with this woman,
heard us talking and rushed over to tell her the test was hard. She did her
best to dissuade and discourage this woman from taking an exam for a job that
would have helped improve the quality of life for herself and her son.
The lesson I learned that day was that Black women weren’t
loyal to each other. And that there is no sisterly love among Black women for
each other.
Now this woman who was her friend was a single mother. A
single mother who could have benefitted from that Civil Service job. The exam
would have been fairly easy for her to pass.
But this Mammy felt so threatened by this younger woman she
sought to dissuade her No, she felt so threatened by another Black woman rising
up she felt she had to keep her down in a position beneath her.
Around May or June the library allegedly ran into money
troubles. According to Mammy, they’d run out of money in their budget to pay
College Assistants to work late nights.
Now she agrees to work until eleven o’clock and asked if I’d
close on the Fridays at six. Now I don’t mind doing my fair share of overtime.
What I do mind is when people try to run a game on me.
After I did two Fridays staying until the library closed at
six, the following Monday or Tuesday, Mammy Bed Wench comes comes to me and
says “Shawn I can’t work all these hours.”
Let that roll through your mind brothers and sisters. “I can’t work all these hours”. Meaning
she committed to the overtime and was looking to find someone else to do her
work for her.
This Bed Wench was trying to put Shawn in the TRICK BAG.
Having to deal with a chump NIGGER with a stereo and my
anxiety issues, and trying to promote The Cassandra Cookbook on the weekends, I
wasn’t getting much sleep. And I needed every precious hour I could get.
So I told her I couldn’t do it. And this chick was pissed. Not
because I wouldn’t do the overtime, but because I wouldn’t trick on her.
Now after I declined, she tried to get some other Manginas and
coons who worked at the college to tell me about her not being able to use the
bathroom to make me feel sorry for her, but I wasn’t buying into this shaming
language. She told me herself that she did this overtime before, so I figured
she could do it again. She agreed to this deal, not me.
And I wouldn’t agree to it because it was unconscionable.
Professor Mangina had worked out a deal with his Mammy COAs. They would work
off the books and then take unrecorded days off as comp time. This was to be
kept between them and not discussed with management or Union officials.
But from what I read in The Gittleshon Group handbook for
the Union it clearly stated that overtime was time and a half pay for all hours
worked over 35. And I wasn’t going to lose time and a half pay. The job only
paid $23,945 at the time and I needed that money.
Now these mammies thought they were being loyal. But what
these women didn’t understand was they were doing was enabling this Mangina to
NOT ask for help. Again, sweeping another problem under the rug instead of
confronting it. This was a public college with over a BILLION DOLLARS in state funding.
And Libraries are considered a TOP PRIORITY for most colleges in assessing
their budgets. And most corporations and grantmakers LOVE to give money to
libraries. They’d put in the EXTRA MONEY for student workers if he ASKED FOR IT.
Having worked in Fund Development at STRIVE, I know there’s BILLIONS of dollars
in from charities for academic institutions that go UNSPENT every YEAR. This
Library should have had more than enough money to pay student workers for
working nights.
While I didn’t work nights, I was assigned to opening and
closing the library on Fridays. And as Mammy enjoyed three-day weekends, I
worked the entire summer. Thankfully, I opened and closed the library without
incident.
There was this Puerto Rican guy who worked doing Interlibrary
Loans. There was a Brotha doing it too, but he was cool; he minded his business
and did his job. But the Puerto Rican guythis dude would constantly ask me
about what religion I was. I’d always
decline because I found this particular question to be inappropriate. Now I was
a Christian, but in the workplace you NEVER discuss religion of any sort. You
never know who you’ll offend. And City College has a fairly large Muslim
population running in and out of the Science/Engineering library. Even though Mammy Bed Wench would decorate
her desk with Christian stuff and post up flyers for her church, I felt as a
probationary employee I needed to keep things professional. So I’d just say no
comment.
One Friday he decides to start talking about landlord tenant
issues. Having a family member who worked for a Landlord/Tenant law firm I was
explaining to him clearly how to solve a problem he was having. But after I’d
answer his questions he’d start laughing. Now I was speaking to him in an
articulate intelligent fashion like I always do when I’m addressing people. But
he found it funny. I found it sad that he had never experienced a Black man who
could speak articulately and intelligently and could answer a question about a
complex topic like landlord/tenant law. To this day I have no idea why he was
laughing at me.
When I had to work on my own, I had the help of some
Workstudy students. And One of the workstudy students Mammy hired (Stole from
the main library) was another Black male. Unfortunately, this dude had no idea
he was a pawn of Mammy Bed Wench.
Now when my anxiety isn’t bothering me, I’m not much of a
talker at work. If it’s not work related, I try to keep my mouth shut. That way
I figure you avoid saying something stupid and offending people. And being in
an all- female environment I knew to keep my mouth shut and to keep my
distance. These women in the workplace today get upset over the least little
thing. And I didn’t want to lose my job over something I said that could be twisted
into a sexual harassment lawsuit.
This Black dude was a 43-year-old former musician. And she
didn’t hire him to give a brotha a chance to get some workstudy experience, she
hired him to get me to talk. She probably figured that if she hired another
Black man, I’d form a personal connection with him and she’d get some juicy
gossip from him on me.
That’s right, Mammy Bed Wench was using this SIMP as a TOOL.
Again, I’m not much of a talker on the job to ANYONE. I keep
it professional on the job and never make it personal. And I had less incentive
to talk in a place with a gossip. After she put my business out in the street
about my book, I decided to keep my distance from this heffa and anyone
associated with her.
I knew something was up when this Negro called in on the
first day he was supposed to go to work and said he wasn’t coming in because he
had a doctor’s appointment. Now I came in the day before to meet everyone, but
dude decides not to come in on his first day of work and Mammy Bed Wench feels
this is perfectly fine.
Negro Bed wench assigns dude to some of the most demeaning
tasks in the library, stuff like taping reference labels to reference books and
shelving books. In between his work duties he tries to talk to me Dude tries to
talk to me, but if he wasn’t talking about his plans for the future, all he
wanted to talk about was women. That’s NO-NO on the job, especially on a job
where you’re surrounded by females. Especially Black females who love to
GOSSIP.
There’s a time and a place for Shawn to talk about women. On
the train, on the bus, in a restaurant, or in a store when I’m shopping. But
not on the job, especially one where I’m working with Black females. These
Heifers will use ANYTHING a Black Man says against him to get a case with Human
Resources to get him FIRED. And talking about women on a job is just like
loading a gun with bullets used to kill yourself with.
Anyway, looking to take a break from labeling reference
books, this SIMP comes up to the circulation desk one day and asks me where
Mammy Bed Wench was. I tell her she’s in the back. And him thinking she was in
another part of the library, he starts talking about a coked up white chick who
grabbed his ass.
But she was in a room behind the circulation desk. And she must
have been coming out to the counter because she hears what he says. And this
chick goes off. Now dude wasn’t talking about her, he was talking to me. But
she still got upset with him. Upset enough to write a report to security
talking about how she felt threatened by him when he stood up for himself.
Lies. More red flags that there was something wrong with this Bed Wench.
Looking back five years later, I believe she went off
because not because dude talked about grabbing a woman’s ass, but because her
plan to get me to fuck myself up BACKFIRED.
With the SIMP outliving his usefulness, she decided to get
rid of him in the most dramatic fashion with the threat of a write up to
security. Seeing how crazy this Bed Wench was, Mr. Simp decided to take a job
in the mailroom. Before he left we were cool. He realized I wasn’t the problem
it was Ms. Bed Wench.
Working over the summer and staying over on Fridays I had
accrued some floating Holidays and some overtime hours. Professor Mangina walks
up to me one Friday and asks if I can come in the next Monday and move some
furniture. Heavy furniture like tables. I ask him why can’t he contact
maintenance to do this. He says it’s a hassle.
I find it funny that it’s not a problem for maintenance to
mop a floor when there’s a leak in the ceiling, but when it’s time to move
furniture it’s a hassle.
I have to wonder is it a hassle because they will insist on
a proper time to schedule the movement of furniture, or is it a hassle because
this dude is afraid of conflict and too scared to approach maintenance workers
to ask them to move. I tell him I have a day off scheduled for Monday and I
can’t do it. I wouldn’t have done it anyway, because the risk of getting an
injury was just too high.
Now this was WAY out of the scope of a CUNY Office
Assistants’ duties. On every other job I had, Maintenance did things like
moving furniture because they had the proper equipment for it like back braces,
gloves, dollies, and lifting straps. And they moved furniture for liability
reasons. If an employee got hurt they could get SUED.
Anyway, since I had the day off, Professor Mangina cons
Workstudy students into moving his furniture. (Putting them at risk of serious
injury and the school at risk for a BIG ASS LAWSUIT) The next Tuesday I come
back and he’s had all the tables in the front of the library moved over a foot
or two so there can be a clearer view from the circulation desk of the copiers.
I’m guessing there were a lot of students stealing paper out of them. I had to
wonder: Are the students at City College this desperate, this GHETTO and this
PATHETIC that they had to steal paper out of a copier? Paper can be bought at a
99 cent store easily. And people could print anything they wanted for free at
the computer lab in the NAC center across the street. Besides, if you’re a
college student who has money for $300cell phones, and $200 sneakers and $160
jeans buying a pack of 99 cent paper or a 79-cent notebook shouldn’t be a
problem.
Now, he didn’t have to move the furniture. All he had to do
was ASK for a security guard or ASK the people from the outside companies who
ran the copiers to put a LOCK on the paper trays like they do at private
colleges like Columbia University. Again, this was a multibillion dollar public
college. There was plenty of money from the state and Grant money from
corporations and individuals to pay for guards, especially for a science
library open until eleven o’clock at night. But this Mangina was so afraid of
conflict he’d rather implement a cockamamie scheme than ASK his superiors or
even the President of City College for what was needed to run a library
effectively.
Over the summer when I wasn’t working the Circulation desk,
there were a series of thefts and security breaches at the Library. A student working
the Circulation desk on the weekend had money stolen out of her purse when
someone came behind it. And a guy had his laptop stolen in the computer room
when I was on break and Bed Wench was working the circulation desk.
Now when I was working the desk there were no thefts and no
one came behind the counter. In fact, no one even seemed to dare try to take
anything. I guess many of the White, Hispanic and Asian, Arab ,Indian, and
African students attending City College were afraid of the husky Black man
standing at the counter to try something.
Now there was a Black chick who tried to steal a Dell brand USB
Drive we found in the computer lab by claiming it was hers, (The name on the
documents in it clearly said Rodriguez when I plugged it in and the name on her
ID card wasn’t Rodriguez) But I refused to give it to her because the name
wasn’t a match to the documents. Instead I sent it to CUNY’s Lost and Found.
But outside of that incident there weren’t any security breaches to my
knowledge.
If anything, the attempt to steal something as cheap and
sundry as a USB disk drive showed me how greedy some of these students were. Most
of these kids get a REFUND check from TAP Financial Aid and they STILL have to
steal a cheap ass $16 USB drive? WTF?
From what I saw there was a desperate need for a security
guard in the City College Science/Engineering Library. With the library being
open for seven days a week and for extended hours Monday through Friday from
nine to eleven P.M, and hundred year-old books on the shelves, there needed to
be a security guard on hand to protect the collection. But Because Professor
Chief Librarian Mangina had ABDICATED his leadership, there was no request for
added security.
A few months later I found that thefts at City Colleges’
libraries were an ongoing problem for the past EIGHT YEARS. Books had been
stolen from the collection, and some had chapters ripped out of them one book
was literally cut out of its hardcover and the shell was left! Students had been
having coats stolen, bags stolen and other items like cell phones stolen for
EIGHT YEARS. And the Libraries’ response from senior management was a Memo in
laminate taped to a door dated December 2000 on the far side of a fire exit and
in a place where no one could see it.
Not in the entrance where EVERYONE COULD SEE IT. Not on
every table where students could read it and take action to protect their
belongings. A fire door.
This was the half-hearted response Mangina who ran the
entire library to criminal activity being perpetrated on students by other
students. Lie, Deny, and Hide. Then blame the students who were victimized by
these thefts for not securing their valuables. If you’re going to extend the
hours of a library there’s a CLEAR NEED for added security to not only protect
the collection, but the students as well. But instead of asking for funds from
the College President, these Manginas just swept the problem under the rug.
All the while in 2008 City College of New York spends
$20,000 on carpet for their cafeteria. Roll that through your mind about how
WHACKED the priorities at this school were. Your Science/Engineering library
which is ESSENTIAL to students doing their work and your tuition revenues is
falling APART, doesn’t have enough money in its budget to pay for student
workers through until closing for an entire semester, doesn’t have enough money
to take hundred year old books off the shelf, has no money for a full-time
security guard, has had a theft problem for EIGHT YEARS and the trustees spend
$20,000 on carpet for a cafeteria?
*FACEPALM*
Now in late August they did replace all the computers AFTER
almost six or seven of those old Pentium 4's DIED in the computer lab. But it shouldn’t have NEVER
gotten that bad. Those computers should have been replaced in 2006 or 2007. And
what they replaced them with was low-grade crap Pentium D computers,not higher end Core 2 Duos or core i5s that would have lasted
a lot longer and given the college a lot more value for their dollar. I’d get
into how their idiot IT guys didn't order Adobe Photoshop/Acrobat, AutoCAD, for their library computers (OpenSource is BULLSHIT) or even install other
essential downloaded software like Flash or Shockwave on a computer before making them available to
students. But that’s another story about the par for the course dysfunction at
City College. When your IT guys can't get all the fucking clocks on the computers to tell the right time, they're FUCKTARDS.
Before the Summer ended Professor Mangina strolls over to
the Circulation desk to talk to Mammy Bed Wench in a Brooks Brothers shirt. Now
Most of the time Professor Mangina wore rumpled shirts and wrinkled pants. But
he decides to walk up to the desk in a Brooks Brothers shirt and the same
wrinkled pants.
This to me was a clear sign of Peacock behavior. An attempt
to show out to spite me. Every day I worked at the Circulation desk I wore
clothes from Brooks Brothers from other high-end designers like Lands’ End or
Ralph Lauren. Most of my clothes were pressed because I’d take them to the dry
cleaners. I wasn’t looking to be a fashion plate; my style has always been crisp
and clean since my STRIVE days. If dude was gonna show out, his wife should’ve
told him to iron his pants and put on some decent shoes too. Putting on just
the shirt makes you look like a chump.
Now I worked most of August without incident, it was a slow
period in the library. There was a little Bitch-made™ math adjunct who threw a
hissy fit over a due date on a library book, but again no problems. I’d open
and close the library without incident.
Fall Semester rolls around. And Mammy Bed Wench asks me a
question I find extremely disturbing to this day. She asks me if I’m comfortable
with the job and if I liked it. I found this question to be extremely odd,
because no one goes to work to be comfortable. No, people go to work to do
their jobs and get paid. Besides, no one I knew went to an entry-level job
working at a circulation desk making under $25 grand a year to be comfortable. From
my days at STRIVE I was told these kinds of entry-level jobs are just stepping
stones towards getting the experience to work someplace else.
This Bed Wench had been in that same job for nine years. And
from the looks of things she was so comfortable in that dead-end job she didn’t
want to go anywhere in life. If anything that question told me that she was
uncomfortable with me. And the reason she was uncomfortable was because she
couldn’t figure me out. She couldn’t get me to fall for her games. And she
couldn’t manipulate me into her Trick Bag to use as a tool like everyone else
she had working for her.
On September 11th,2008 Professor Mangina musters
up some courage from somewhere and decides to finally give me one of my two quarterly a performance
evaluations three months late. He and Mammy Bed Wench send me to a Union
meeting and then decide to talk about my work so far.
I came back from the Union meeting then a break. Now
Professor Mangina told me he wanted to get this But instead of approaching me
to have the meeting he just stood there at a computer terminal. I had to walk
up to him and ASK to give me my performance evaluation. This guy was so afraid
of conflict he couldn’t muster up the courage to even follow through on his
request to meet with me.
In spite of my earlier gaffe with the CUNY FLU, I went in
expecting high marks. Many of the students were happy with my work and said I
was doing a great job. Ms. Bed wench herself said my work was great and I was
doing a good job. Even Mr. Simp was impressed with my work. I was trusted with
opening and closing the library on Fridays. And in the middle of the summer
semester and the start of the fall semester I was training workstudy students on
how to use the ALEPH system.
But when I got into the performance evaluation, Manigna
starts out by speaking in a patronizing tone saying I’m improving. He then goes
on to say that he’s looking for someone with a sales/customer Service
background.
And he used the performance evaluation to minimize my work.
And to try to minimize my talents and abilities. This coward was trying to fly
an insult over my head and take a shot at me. In his eyes I wasn’t qualified to
do the job at the library. Now Human Resources thought I was qualified when
they hired me after reading my resume and interviewing me. But this arrogant
son of a bitch felt I didn’t meet his
ridiculous standard for a COA job. A rinky-dink COA job any freshman college
student could do. By saying he was looking for someone with a sales/customer
Service background he was trying to say he wanted to hire someone else.
Now writers like myself do sales all the time. We sell when
we query editors and literary agents and when we pitch articles. We sell to
readers when we promote our work in bookstores and on social media, and at book
fairs and trade shows. And we do customer service when readers send us e-mails
about our books, our blogs, and our articles. Don’t let anyone fool you, books
are some of the hardest things to sell to ANYONE. Because customers hate taking
the time to read them. If you can sell a book to someone, selling everything
else is EASY.
I also did lots of selling when I did presentations at
STRIVE eight years before I worked at City College. Pitching their program to
the homeless, one of the hardest groups to sell on anything. So I had no Idea
what he was saying about looking for someone with a sales/customer service
background.
No professional salesperson would want to work in a library.
I know salespeople at Brooks Brothers and they live for commissions. The best ones
make six figures a year. They’d LAUGH at a $24,000 a year job at a library.
Because they could make twice as much selling product in luxury retail in six
months.
Customer service reps wouldn’t want to be bothered with them
either. Most people working in call centers make $15 an hour starting salary. Plus
they got paid REAL time-and a-half overtime.
And when it came to customer service I was better at it in
the seven months I was there than Mammy Bed Wench who was working there for
nine years. When kids had an issue I’d explain policy to them in a polite and
calm way and try to help em’ out. If people tried to run games and bullshit, I
checked them in a professional manner. Sometimes I wasn’t perfect, (I remember working
on my 35th birthday I was tired from a dealing with my sisters’ computer
dying and my next door neighbor’s stereo) and I kinda snapped at someone around
two o’clock in the afternoon, but in most times I kept it professional.
She on the other hand would argue with students and cause a
lot of drama. And my customer service was so solid many students came looking
for me. I knew a major part of sales/customer service is FORMING A RELATIONSHIP
with the customer so they’ll feel comfortable enough to come back and want to
buy more products. Again, I understood this was THE STUDENTS’ Library and THEY
PAID for the RIGHT TO USE IT.
Besides, there’s not much sales to do in a library; all the
books are free. Stuff like copy cards sell themselves because the audience is
captive. If anything all you have to do is show someone how to use a printer or
refer them to a librarian. I was told CUNY Office Assistants aren’t authorized
to give information about books because we’re not Librarians. And most of the
people who I served and my co-workers said I was doing a great job. So why
would they want for someone with a sales/customer service background?
Personally, I believe it was because White male Professor Mangina
and Negro Bed wench were intimidated by a Black man who had his shit coming together.
Who they wanted working in their library was an ignorant COON or a Hood Rat who
would worship both of them and see them as the gods they deluded themselves
into believing they were. Someone they could manipulate into falling their
games such as that bullshit overtime scheme where you get nothing for all your
hard work and think they were getting something for nothing.
If anything by making that statement, this Mangina
Professors’ jealousy was showing through. Looking back I should have checked
his bitch ass then, but I decided to turn the other cheek since I was a
probationary employee. I really needed this job and I needed to build up my
savings. So I decided to just keep it professional so I could keep working and
building my savings and my publishing business.
In addition to telling me my work isn’t valued Professor
Mangina Chief Librarian tells me that I would have to go along with his
overtime scheme and work until eleven when they ran out of money in their
budget. He says for every five hours I’d work I’d get a day off. He tells me
that they always have a funding problem and they always run out of money to pay
for college assistants. All of a sudden overtime that was once-and-awhile when
a student had a paper is now all the time. Basically, this bastard LIED to me
on DAY ONE.
I knew from that performance evaluation and his open
ADMISSION to his INCOMPETENCE that the handwriting was on the wall. My days
were numbered at City College in the Science/Engineering Library. Soon after
the performance evaluation all of a sudden the mood of the workplace changed. I
could feel a hostility in the air. The College assistants and Mammy bed wench
started distancing themselves.
A couple of days later, One of the College assistants walks
over with a cart with over a hundred books. And Ms. Bed Wench She tells me to
put barcode labels in over a hundred books. Then she goes on to start talking
to one of the other college assistants about some superficial non-work related
topic.
Now before when there were books with no barcodes we’d all
work together to get them processed. But she wanted me to work processing over
a hundred books all by myself and service customers at the same time.
Now I said I wanted to work putting the barcodes in the books
that didn’t have them when I first started, because one of the kids came to the
counter with one book without a tag in it. I thought that looked really
unprofessional and sloppy. And I figured it was an issue in a book or two or a
shelf or two. Turns out FIVE OR TEN SECTIONS G-QC were left uncoded with no
security strips or barcodes. She could have told me about the severity of this
problem from DAY ONE so I could know what to expect.
But this woman remained silent.
Moreover, we sat around for the ENTIRE MONTH OF AUGUST DOING
NOTHING. This barcode work could have easily been COMPLETED when there were NO
CROWDS OF STUDENTS COMING IN FROM THE FALL SEMESTER. But this passive/aggressive
stunt was meant to frustrate me so I’d quit. While I felt overwhelmed by the
sheer number of books a couple of times over the coming weeks, I still
persevered.
Another time, she had a bunch of Workstudy students at the
Circulation desk. She delegated them tasks and then after she finished giving
them jobs to do she assigned me to shelf reading. Pissing and marking her
territory.
Now I was the paid full-time employee, her co-worker making
a salary just like she did. What she was doing through her actions was saying
that I wasn’t valuable. That below her college assistants and City Colleges’
transient workstudy students were more valuable than I was to their
Science/Engineering library. They were probably looking for that person with
the sales/customer Service background while I was shelf reading.
We did the labels and barcodes for a few weeks. And when we
ran out of labels, they went to get more and the professor over the labels
asked why they needed them. Again, a RED FLAG something was FOUL.
Around October, the department head comes back into the Science
Library. And again, this Cracker does NOT INTRODUCE HIMSELF TO me. Now President
and CEO Rob Carmona and every senior executive and department head at STRIVE
Introduced themselves to me on DAY ONE. At my job at Food Emporium I met with
ALL the shift managers on DAY ONE. Even at my volunteer job at New Bronx
Employment service I met up with senior managers. But seven months later, this
ASSHOLE who runs the entire City College of New York Library system can’t get
the BALLS to walk up to a counter and INTRODUCE himself to one of his employees
on a SECOND site visit.
I only knew about his visit the next day when Mammy Bed
wench came to tell me that he was upset that the alarm was going off and I
wasn’t asking people to look in their bags. Now I had never been told to do
this in the seven months I’d been there. In fact, Mammy Bed Wench and her
college assistants regularly let people pass through with no challenge when the
alarm went off.
As so called sales/Customer service people working the
circulation desk we CUNY OFFICE ASSITANTS COULDN’T engage students. Sales and
customer service people in multi-billion dollar retail stores like The Gap and
Macy’s do not do security. Why? Because it ESCALATES a situation. And when a
situation is escalated, it not only puts the employees’ life at risk when they
engage the suspect but puts the lives of OTHER PEOPLE VISTING THE LIBRARY AT
RISK. It’s a RECIPE FOR A SERIES OF BIG ASS LAWSUITS.
A sales/customer service person does not do security. If an
alarm goes off we’re not to engage anyone or inquire of them if they have
anything. No, that’s for a licensed security person or loss prevention
specialist to do. With law enforcement and security training, they’re better at
assessing and anticipating risk than an office assistant who checks books in
and out of the circulation desk every day.
If an individual is stealing books from the library is
carrying a weapon like a boxcutter, they may not hesitate to use it if
confronted. And if they’re carrying a gun, they could not only kill or injure the
COA who approaches them, but also kill or injure innocent bystanders as well.
Even if an alarm goes off it’s AGAINST THE LAW for sales
people to engage a suspected thief in retail businesses. According to New York
State Law, in order for security to detain someone for theft/shoplifitng, an
employee has to SEE someone steal an item from the shelf and watch them leave
the premises. It’s only when they leave the premises is a crime committed.
If an employee engages an alleged shoplifter/thief at the
door and has no PROOF of a crime committed, they risk putting the business in
jeopardy of a BIG ASS LAWSUIT, especially if someone else gets injured as a
result of their attempt to detain them. This is why most college libraries
invest in security guards. But again, these Manginas were too scared to ASK for
the funds to secure their Science library and its patrons. The main Cohen library
had guards, but the equally used Science/engineering Library had NONE. In
between the lack of barcodes and security strips on entire sections of books,
the lack of a full-time security guard, and a faulty alarm the place was a
perfect place for criminal minded students and their friends to steal from
other students.
But instead of ASKING the President of the CCNY to pay for
more security or networking with Grantmakers who had TONS OF CASH to spend,
these Manginas would rather have a COA put their life on the line for books and
journals they didn’t CARE to protect themselves.
I took offense to the request because it was clear he did
not value the SAFETY of the students or myself. I also took offense to this guy
not introducing himself to me. I felt it was extremely arrogant for him to walk
into the place a SECOND time and NOT introduce himself to the new employee
working there. If anything, that was a statement to me that they did NOT value
me as an employee.
On the surface it looked like they were just trying to cheap
out and have COAs do security. But this Department head was setting up a
classic Mangina Paradox trap. And In the paradox trap, nothing anyone does is
right. It’s a set-up for a no-win situation.
If I engaged the student and asked them the question of what
was in their bag they’d say I was violating written company policy by overstepping
my bounds and profiling students and use that as a reason to terminate me. And
if I did nothing I would be terminated for being insubordinate. And because the
Bed wench gave me the orders they could say I was acting on my own. Him telling
her would be considered hearsay. And with the treacherous nature of this Black
female she’d swear up and down she never said anything like that to me. It was
the perfect screw job.
I did my best to try to endure what seemed to be an
onslaught of dirty tricks until the last week of October. The Sunday before I
wondered what God meant when He told me to keep going. I had no idea what
treachery waited for me that next week. I had no idea what God was talking
about until a week later.
Seeing that I managed to overcome all of their dirty tricks,
Mammy and Mangina decided to play from the bottom of the deck. That Tuesday, I
was working the circulation desk. Now a student had come in for a chemistry
book, and one of the College assistants said they’d go get it. I figured he had
it, so I took a moment to think about something had my eyes down to thinking
about something.
Before I know it, His Mammy Bed Wench comes over and tells
me I was sleeping at the desk. I tell her I wasn’t sleeping and she tells me I
have my eyes closed.
Now I’m working at the desk thinking there’s no problems.
Around two o’clock Mangina professor comes in saying we have to talk. I go into
his office and he’s got me written me up on false charges accusing me of
sleeping at the desk. Seriously, how can you sleep standing up?
Mangina goes on a rant. This dude is so emotional he doesn’t
even make sense. He’s so insecure he drops the name of his boss like I’m
supposed to know who this department head is even though this man NEVER
introduced himself and no one EVER told me his name. I tell him I was sick that
day. He’s tells me to take a sick day. HOW THE HELL CAN I TAKE A SICK DAY WHEN
I DIDN’T HAVE ANY THREE DAYS INTO A JOB?
He then threatens to send the write up filled with LIES to Human
Resources, the dean and a bunch of other high-ranking people at CUNY who I’ve
never heard of and threatens not to make me a permanent employee. He tells me
that He told me about sleeping at the desk when he NEVER talked to me about
anything. The COA HE designated as my supervisor came over to talk to me BOTH
TIMES. His COWARDLY ASS was over TWENTY FEET AWAY AVOIDING CONFLICT. I confront
him, call him on his LIE and then getting frustrated just say I want to work
someplace else. He just lets me go back to work and act like nothing happens.
All throughout his rant, I could feel a presence in the room
with me. I knew it was Jesus. It was like he was standing next to me. I knew I
did nothing wrong, and this man was lying on me. And I know God knew he was
lying too.
I realized I was screwed. Mangina professor Chief Librarian
had his Negro Bed Wench as a witness to substantiate his story, and the Black
woman Union shop steward would be no help, because she was probably coonin’ for
Mr. Charlie too. Plus, this guy now showed me he was willing to lie to get away
with his crimes, and I knew if another situation like this came around at this
job I’d really be screwed. With him being a White Man and me being a Black man
it’d be my word against his. And his word would be taken as truth by others in
authority. And because he had a Negro Bed Wench willing to back up his lies I’d
wind up a creek without a paddle. That day it’d be a write up over a false
allegation of sleeping on the job The next day it’d be an accusation about a
missing item. They’d both say they saw me steal it and my ass would be leaving
that library in handcuffs for something I didn’t do.
I went back to work for the rest of the week pondering
quitting, but I decided to tough it out. Everything seemed to be fine as Bed
wench asked me to stay until six one day. I told her I’d have to get back to
her. The day I was to stay late she sends me home. And she was making plans on
the schedule to have others fill in.
I came in on Friday October 24th, 2008 like any
other day and at nine began the tedious task of putting more barcodes in
hundreds more books. Around 9:30 The Department head, a fat little greasy turd
of a man comes in and calls for me to come to the back finally introduces himself
to me. He’s looking for a fight. He says you don’t want to work here. I say
nothing to him. Then he says he’s terminating my employment. He gives me a
letter of termination with a signature from the assistant HR Director and a
second performance evaluation dated October 24, 2008. He insists I take both
documents so they can have a paper trail to substantiate their lies. I realized
he had a roomful of witnesses such as college assistants, and Mammy Bed wench.
I’m thinking dude decided to introduce himself because Mammy
Bed wench told him about what I said earlier regarding his cockamamie security
scheme and that’s why he walked in all steamed. Yeah, this woman could gossip
about things to these White boys when I said something about their lack of
professionalism, but wouldn’t put in a positive word to help a brother keep his
job.
While they send him to fire me, White Chief librarian
Mangina Professor and his fellow librarians hid in their offices. Leaving these
defenseless students and Ms. Negro Bed Wench to deal with whatever happened in
that back room. I don’t know if anyone saw it, but it showed how little loyalty
these White cowards had for the Black and minority workers who worked at their
front desk. If I were one of those emotional violent thug Negroes, their lives
would have all been put at risk.
I found it funny they had two campus police officers there
as a show of force to escort me out. This cowardly department head needs two
campus officers to come with him as a show of force when he’s firing someone
but he doesn’t have the BALLS to go up to a campus president by himself and ASK
for extra money to protect students and library property every day from the
numerous thieves who preyed on the City College Science/Engineering library for
close to a DECADE. That one action shows me how racist these white boys were.
They were more scared of the Black man who once worked for them than they were
of the White, Arab, Indian, and Asian kids who were robbing the place blind.
In the wake of the bad news, I remained calm. God gave me a
peace about things. With two campus police officers there I knew it was smart
not to cause a scene. I got my coat out of my locker, made a call to my mother
and told her about things. Then I walked out of the library keeping my distance
from the two campus officers. I knew these White Manginas wanted an incident to
say how Black men act out and they wanted to see me walk out of their library
in handcuffs. I knew the best thing for me to do was shut them down by NOT
giving them the incident they wanted to see: A nigger acting out and proving
all the stereotypes they knew to be true about Black people.
I never returned to the City College Science Library after
that. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I just moved on. For me, it was a job.
I didn’t own it and I had nothing emotional invested in it. With the peace of
God in my heart, I followed his word and kept going.
I had no idea that the performance evaluations were all part
of the Master plan to get rid of me. Giving me the first performance evaluation
on September 11th was part of a plan to use the second one dated
October 24th to write up a bunch of lies on it to make me look like
an incompetent employee. Saying things like I needed to be watched and I was
aloof and unapproachable.
When in actuality these cowardly racist ass white boys were
too afraid to approach me. If I needed to be watched, then why would I be left
to open and close a library? Why was I left to work the counter on my own for
several MONTHS working this job? Why was I left for hours to work the
circulation desk ALONE in the mornings while Mammy Bed Wench did other work in
the back? If I was doing such a good job that was noted by everyone including
students and co-workers how could that change in a month?
Now any HR pro would see a bunch of red flags in the dates
of these performance evaluations. But City Colleges’ HR department was just as
unethical as their bastard professors.
Now I made my mistakes on this job. And I take responsibility
for them. But a lot of these issues these people at City College had with me
could have been settled if White male managers acted like leaders instead of
acting like BITCHES. These assholes talked about how I’m aloof and
unapproachable, when it was their own cowardice that prevented them from
walking up and talking to me like a man. When it was their own racism and cowardice
that prevented them from forming a relationship with me in the workplace.
Instead of trying to settle their issues with me and working with me towards solving
the library’s numerous problems, they’d rather play the victim and say everyone
from the college president to the CUNY trustees to the governor was doing them
wrong.
What really irks me is that Negro Bed Wench knew what was
going on and didn’t say a word. Ms. Pro-Black Born Again Christian™ who loved
to gossip about peoples’ business didn’t say a word to me about anything.
Instead, she decided to follow the line of her White Slave masters. If this
woman really followed the Bible she wouldn’t sit back and watch as a fellow
Black man was railroaded by a white man’s lies. Nor would she agree to go along
with his lies to keep a chump change job. The Bible I read says Do unto others
as they would do unto You. And true Christians don’t lie and go along with
liars like this woman did.
If anything, this woman showed me to those White Professor Librarians
at City College were her true god. She worshipped them more than Jesus and was
willing to crush anybody Black who got in her way, especially a Black man if
the threatened her position as the HNICE (Head Nigger in Charge). I’m hoping
her little dreadlocked girl friend saw all this, because it showed the truth
about her character. If she’d screw me over, it’d be a matter of time before
she did it to her.
That was one of the hardest lessons I learned working at the
City College of New York. That these Pro-Black Afrocentric sistas were some of
the biggest sellouts on the planet. And that Black people, especially Black
women can’t be trusted on these jobs. They were more loyal to White men than
their Black co-workers or the Black community.
For years I thought I thought my attitude was one of the
reasons I got fired. Then around 2010, I watched The Avenue/Dan Freeman’s
classic video The Threatening Black man on YouTube and realized I wasn’t alone.
Black men all over this country had been put in similar situations like mine,
and that I was merely reacting to the hostile environment created by this Negro
Bed Wench and her White slave master. After watching Dan Freeman’s video, I
began to understand that I was a threat to the people of that library. And what
they were uncomfortable with in the presence of an educated professional Black
man who could stand on his own two feet.
The truth of the matter is that in White Liberal
institutions like The City College of New York, the insecure liberal white
folks who work there need Mammies, Coons and other minorities in jobs like CUNY
Office Assistant under them to feel secure about their place in the world. As
long as they surround themselves with dumb, ignorant minorities these white
liberals can maintain a false sense of superiority and delude themselves into
believing they’re more intelligent than everyone else. I find both these groups
have a co-dependent relationship with each other and one needs the other to
feel comfortable As long as the Mammies and coons know they have a place under
the White Man’s table they can still feel safe about where they are at the
bottom, and as long as the White Man can believe that he is superior at that
table he feels safe about his state of mediocrity at the top. No one ever grows
or changes there and no one wants to grow or change. As this woman stated she
was comfortable wallowing in the filth of dirty carpets, old computers and
thieving students and she wanted a comfortable nigger to be at her side
maintaining the status quo of dysfunctional mediocrity at that library.
My mistake was coming in there and being myself. I
represented REAL change to these people and I rocked their dysfunctional
co-dependent boat by being intelligent and professional Black man who spoke
well, dressed well and acted professionally. There’s nothing that doesn’t scare
the shit out of mediocre White men and subpar Black women than a professional
intelligent hardworking heterosexual Black man. I dare to say he’s more
terrifying to both than any horror movie character in any Hollywood film
because they can’t figure out how to manipulate or control him. None of their
bullshit games work with this kind of man and they know that sooner or later
he’s going to pull back their curtain and reveal show the world the smoke and
mirrors behind their façade of false superiority. And when the world realizes
how mediocre both White men and AmeriKKKan Black women are, the game will be
OVER for BOTH OF THEM.
After being terminated for an unjust reason by these
unethical and racist managers, I persevered. I threw myself into my writing and
began promoting and publishing the remaining titles in my catalog. In the past
five years I managed to do what I set out to do in 2007, clear the backlog of
unpublished manuscripts and turn them into published paperbacks. It cost me
most of my savings but I learned a lot of valuable experience about
self-publishing, marketing and writing.
In that time I’ve grown as a writer and a publisher. I’m
still not to the point where I can pull a profit on my writing or even get a
return on what I invested initially on paperbacks, but I am reaching new
readers all over the world. Even as I struggle to make ends meet these days I
try not to be bitter about my experience at City College of New York. I don’t
want that negative experience to poison my mission of publishing positive Black
literature to brothers and sisters. I came there not just to work, but to gain
the capital to continue publishing my books. For me, a job is just a stepping
stone towards getting your own business. Five years later I’ve accomplished the
goals I set in 2007, and I’ve expanded my catalog to over 11 paperbacks and
over 35 eBooks. I’ve gotten critical praise from book clubs and readers. People
ask for me to guestblog and write articles for them. I’m still not at the point
where I can make money from my writing, but I’m a lot further than I was in
early 2007 when I was living on $2 a day given to me by family. Right now I
want to keep moving forward towards getting to the next level.
The lessons I learned at City College of New York are ones
I’ll take to my grave. But instead of being bitter, I want to teach other
brothers and sisters can from my experience. I’m hoping someone, somewhere can
learn from my lessons and overcome the pitfalls I ran into on the job in
AmeriKKKa.
Brothers, whenever you ever see a White Man and a Black
woman working somewhere together on the job, WATCH YOUR BACK. That Negro Bed
Wench and her Slave Master are conspiring to get you fired. Make sure you keep
clear documentation of all your business dealings with them, CC all your emails
to a higher manager, and don’t be afraid to tape their asses if you have a
conversation with them. Whenever a White Man and Black woman are working together
always know they’re working AGAINST a Black man in the workplace. Don’t let
them take your job!
