Support Shawn's writng with a donation

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Why Shawn Urges Girls to NOT Get A Tattoo Or Tattoos


  Why shouldn’t a girl get a tattoo? Because you will lose face in the eyes of people.

Tattoos on women have their roots in prostitution. In the early 19th Century, pimps used to mark his prostitutes with tattoos to denote that they were his property. It was a way to dehumanize a woman and turn her into an object that could be bought and sold.

Today, celebrities glamourize tattoos. But the negative stigma is still on skin art in most social circles. For many it’s still a sign that she’s involved in shady businesses like prostitution, stripping, and pornography.

If you look like a whore, people will treat you like a whore. Plain and simple.

So if you don’t want to be judged as a whore, don’t dress up in the attire of a whore.

The most powerful people in the world who sign the checks of all those tattooed celebrities don’t have a single tattoo inscribed on their skin. The only ink is in the pen on their desk.

And the ink in that pen has the power to make or break lives. With their signature they can get someone hired or fired. They can get laws passed, and create businesses and wealth. Their ink can get the attention of a million people. While that ink on your skin will get you ignored by those same people who make decisions in this world.

Who would you rather be? Meghan Fox or Sumner Redstone, the head of Viacom who pays Meghan Fox’s salary?

Girls, stay away from the tats. You don’t need them to make a statement about yourself. Tattoos are what strippers, porn stars, and prostitutes wear on their bodies to keep men from looking at their faces because they’re ashamed of themselves. They’re a distraction women use on their outside to keep people from seeing who they are on the inside.

Listen to what some of these tattoos are called and how they relate to women:

A tramp stamp. In the tat world, this is a tattoo above the crack of the buttocks. But Is that what you want to say about yourself? That you’re a whore? That you’re reducing yourself to the marking on the crack of your butt?

A side piece. In the tat world, a side piece is what some call a tattoo across the side of the torso but in the world of relationships A Side piece is a woman that a man goes to cheat on his girlfriend or wife with. Is that what you want to say about yourself? That you’re a mistress? A woman who has to settle for second best?

These tats are demeaning. And the young woman who gets them is saying that she doesn’t value herself as a human being.

God made your body perfect the way it is. And people who love themselves don’t have to change what God gave them. They love their bodies just the way they are.

Girls, the most beautiful part of a woman are her eyes. And you don’t want anything keeping someone from looking into them first. All tattoos do is distract peoples’ attention from seeing the real you.

Eye contact is a sign that people are interested in you. And when you wear tattoos, you keep people from making that eye contact that allows people to connect with you and see who you are from the inside. Don’t get a tattoo, focus on you.

13 comments:

  1. I recently became a fan and follower of your page, specifically because I started a blog about Black Americans who write fantasy.

    I found an article you wrote, and decided to share it. I came to your page looking for the main site so I could link it to the post.

    I came across this post and felt the need to comment.

    As a man who addresses a faulty system that directly contributes to the lack PoC's in Sci-Fi and Fantasy, this is a remarkably close-minded, over-generalizing, and plain old sexist thing for you to write.

    I get that you are trying to promote the idea of natural beauty in women and the fact that its not necessary to modify your body to be attractive to men. However, that realization just makes you come off even more prejudiced and benevolently sexist, because...what right do you have to dictate what a women should do/be/say/feel to be attractive?

    I'm not surprised at this post...disappointed, yes. But not at all surprised; we live in a patriarchal society that is, even to this day, steeped in unfair and unrealistic ideals.

    What about women who get tattoos SOLELY for their own enjoyment or personal reasons? What about the women who got a tattoo to memorialize a tragic event or a perceived miracle? A dead parent? A miscarriage? A birthday they weren't even supposed to make it to? Do you really think these words of yours would provide any kind of pertinent information to women like that?

    What about women who have no interest in being attractive to a man? Females who are attracted to other women and choose to dress in a "masculine" fashion? I imagine that tattoos are a great thing for a women trying to achieve an image like that? What about the woman who has ancestors from specific African or Asian cultures where tattoos are religiously significant?

    This article lumps all women into one category, both towards the women it criticizes and the women its trying to "save." That fact alone is enough to make any serious debater instantly dismiss this as a perspective that should be legitimately considered.

    As far as using financial and material circumstances to promote or criticize something that is cultural, emotional, and PERSONAL life decision is manipulative and not all worthy of being considered actual support for your opinion.

    Who signs the paychecks of the women who own their own tattoo shops?

    Exactly.

    Also, the labels you provided (tramp stamp & side piece)as acceptable defense against tattoos only make your argument less relevant.

    MALES came up with those terms, just as they did for most derogatory terms that apply to females. The fact that those labels exist is not an affirmation of tattooed women's inherent sluttiness; it is, in fact, an affirmation of a system that has been in place since the rise and power of Abrahmic religions.

    A system that is, apparent by this post, well and truly thriving. Just as racism and white privilege will not stop until white people realize it exists and actively try to change, the same applies to sexism and male privilege.

    When men like you stop and realize that they will NEVER, EVER, EVER understand what it is to be a woman; have a vagina, have the capability to get pregnant; to be reared under a system that promotes the "evilness" and lustiness of the female species, etc...then maybe you all will finally let go of the idea that you have any right to control or monitor women's bodies.

    Last, but not least, you are so severely mistaken about the history of tattooing that its actually embarrassing to me. As I stated before, the practice has been around for centuries. As this is a country of immigrants, I'm sure you can imagine how the practice migrated to the US in quite a few ways; not least, the Samoan and Native American cultures that have been doing since before the first white settlers showed up here.

    Next time you want to "coach" ANY social group on how they be better attractive to you, at least do your research.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Auria Coachman

    Your argument is full of deflections, shaming language ad-hominem attacks and post-hoc attacks. Clearly you don't understand how a $25 picture of some Madison Avenue logo on your arm can cost a woman a career or a husband. I guess you'll have to experience this thing called LIFE to understand the merits of my argument. Once these Men show you the truth about people who wear tats, you'll appreciate my advice.

    In White Supremacist America Everything is used against you if you are not a White Male. Black skin is Strike one. Tats are Strike two. Combine this with a prison record, a drug problem or other issue and it's strike Three and Black girls are OUT before they step up to the plate.

    Why put a strike against yourself in the game of life?

    The people in this world who sign the paychecks, the CEOS, politicians and top executives don't have tattoos. I'd rather girls aspired to be like them than one of these hoodrats with a butterfly tat on her ass or a tramp stamp.

    That tattoo shop owner may sign a check, but he's not going to be a millionaire or a billionaire. He's small potatoes.


    In my neighborhood kids are getting this ink and not seeing how it'll impact them in the future. How White Supremacists and racists will use it against them in job interviews and college interviews, Even men will REJECT them if they see a tat when picking a mate.

    In American social circles a tattoos are associated with Strippers, porn stars and prostitutes. You may not like that connotation, but that's what men correlate it with.

    When that 14-year old girl gets that tattoo it will keep her from getting jobs when she turns 21. It'll keep her from moving forward in her life. And when she turns 25 or 30 it can keep her from getting married. Men see a woman with three tats or more as a HO.

    As for the rest...I read through all that shaming language..You have a vagina BIG DEAL. No one gives a shit. Women have babies..BIG DEAL. So does every other animal. Women want tats for themselves? Then they want a promotion. When their boss male or female turns them down because they see that skin art, they can say "Hey, I fucked up my career for myself."

    Where's this sexism and male privelege? please. Women get favor in the courts, the schools and everyewhere economically. The Black community is a MATRIARCHY run and led by WOMEN. .


    You females can go get a tat, but it will be to your detriment. Tattoos are not seen as something positive here in America, especially BLACK AMERICA. When I write about tats, I write about how women are viewed here in America. And having that ink can cost a woman more than she thinks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mr.James I agree with you 100%....Me personally,I don't like tattoos because they're very trendy and all trends "play-out" sooner or later and besides I'm from an era where being "tatted-up" meant one of two things:1.you were a full fledged, hardcore gangbanger or 2.you just served a stretch in a penitentiary somewhere...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shawn James i 100% agree with you

    i'm against tats in general but i'm WAY more against them for women

    i say this because men obviously get a lot of visual and physical pleasure out of a woman's body, so why do they draw on themselves?

    like women KNOW men are visual creatures so why do they devalue their bodies like that? nothing is worth a tattoo.. like if i look at your butt and see spongebob that's kindof a permanent buzz-kill

    some women will say "well i did it for me" well that's fine if you plan to be single, but if you're in the dating pool i say don't do it.. your body is not your own

    i'm a Christian so i believe your body is God's first then its your spouse's then its yours.. that's what i honestly believe.. because you didn't make your body and its not just for your own enjoyment

    getting a tattoo is just short-sighted to me

    when you're a kid and you draw on yourself your mom said "don't do that, have respect for your body"

    you get a little older and you let a person take a hot needle to your skin and say "make me look like an idiot!"

    i hate it when i see a pretty girl's cleavage and she has a tattoo of a fish or something retarded like that on what is arguably the most beautiful/attractive part of her body

    ITS NOT MEANT TO BE DRAWN ON!

    but not only that, women use that same breast to feed their kids! i'm sorry but that is just in bad taste

    women need to understand their bodies are not their own.. same with men but moreso for women because a woman's body is very important to attract a man's attention or keep him interested, also because their bodies are used in child rearing

    men like women with soft beautiful pure looking skin

    men are more gruff and rough and tumble so if they have tats i don't really think its that bad, men are naturally hairy and rugged

    but tats r just not becoming on women.. its ugly and makes them look trashy imo

    i have yet to meet a guy who likes that on women

    also tattoos are like a symbol of rebellion.. women like "bad boys" or "rebellious" men a lot but men like good girls so it just doesn't work the same for women

    women may call my views sexist but every woman i've ever met is sexist in ways that benefit her

    "mow the lawn because you're the man"

    "i didn't bring any money for the dinner or the movie because you're the man"

    "i know i just punched you in the face but you can't hit me back because i'm a woman"


    women are very hypocritical in this regard.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This whole thing is just generally hilarious to me. As always, the point is that the idea that a woman's body is the province and property (or even concern) of a male is simply wrong. The ideals you all are encouraging is that a woman is, by default, concerned with "snagging" a man. And that her body, and her entire thought process, and her decision making concerning her body, should be thought of in direct reference to how you men feel about it.

    If you're solely addressing women who actually care about mattering to the Black male dating pool, then yea...all this is relevant. Tell THOSE women not to get tattooed if they ever want to have pleasure of being legally bound to people like you.

    My point was simply that female attraction is NOT the sole province of men, and its way past time for men like you all to realize that.

    ALL of you have overgeneralized and lumped ALL women into one group. As I said before, using that tactic in a discussion and expecting to be taken seriously is oxymoronic.

    Based on this post, two ideas become very clear: first, women who have no interest in becoming wives do not even count as human beings to you. Whether it be sexual orientation, cultural, or plain old disinterest in Black men, you fail to address the women who simply do not fall into your neat little descriptive boxes.

    AGAIN, you don't get to make an overgeneralizing, all encompassing statement like "women should not get tattoos," without addressing the real life sub groups and social groups that fall under the "women" category.

    Only pompous idiots repeat the same ideal, completely disregarding real life parameters and experiences.

    The second thing that becomes clear is the MASSIVE shallowness of all of you. All of yall basically said that, in this day and age, it is perfectly acceptable to judge a book by its cover. And perfectly reasonable to choose a mate based on whats lacking on that cover, on appearance.

    Frankly sir, you deserve what you get. Just as there are plenty of women (many who claim Christianity as the reason why)who prefer to base their physical and mental identities on what a man wants, there are plenty of well to do men (Black, white, and otherwise) who pick their mats based of actually personality and interaction.

    Telling a GROUP (a WHOLE GROUP!) that they will not experience what YOU consider ideal is simply not a good topic of writing for you.

    P.S.
    To you Mr. James, yes...female animals do also get pregnant and have babies...but I bet there isn't a single dog, horse, tiger, etc that could have raised and created you.

    Again, you don't get to enjoy the benefit of being an exceptional/intelligent sentient man while simultaneously disregarding what sentient females have to do in order to make men like you possible.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Auria:
    It's obvious you don't hear me or the men who have replied to this blog. Tattoos are a turn-off.

    But feminists like you will insist that it's your body and you can do what you want with it.

    Then you complain no man will talk to you when they do what they want with their bodies and walk away from you.

    Female attraction not the sole province of men...only to a lesbian. A man has to be attracted to a woman to find her desirable enough to approach. Tattoos repulse most men INSTANTLY.

    You need to understand it's not your body. it's God's body and he made it perfect. He didn't put those markings on you and he never intended for you to do it to yourself. If anything, tattoos are a sign of self-hate.

    All I'm trying to do with this blog is give girls an understanding of why they should think before they ink. I see too many girls in my neighborhood marking themselves up at 14, 15, 16, 17 and 18 not knowing they've ruined their futures. It's only when they're 25 or 30 and single that they realize that $25 tattoo is why they're in the Hoe category with most men and stuck in a dead-end job taking orders for chicken tenders at a fast-food restaraunt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello i ran across this today even though it is about a year old i just wanted to comment. I am a man and i believe that it takes a real man to love a woman for her inter beauty not just her outer skin. Now i dont believe that women or men should just go out and get inked, i believe who ever decides that they want to ink themselves needs to think before they ink because its a very big commitment. However i dont believe that a women with a tattoo is ugly or unattractive. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I total see your point shawn james, and i also see auria's too and it doesnt make her a feminist either. My wife has a garter on her lower arm that symbolizes something very important and she is the most beautiful person in the world. No one looks down upon her, many people actually look up to her. In my opinion it is all how the person carries themselves. My wife is very professional and actually runs a resource center. Shes not frying chicken lol i know women who think men with tattoos are sick and gross. I know men who dont care about tattoos something like this can go both ways. Mr. Shawn James I believe what was Auria's issue was the way you worded it. Women would see this and go that was rude im going to go get a tattoo now lol soft and gentle bait is better than harsh bait. Everyone needs to cover things in love and the world would be a better place. I have learned this from watching my wife at work. You wouldnt believe some of the situations that walk through her doors but all it takes is love and eventually God convicts these peoples hearts into doing it Gods way. Women are not slaves, and as men we need to lift our women up so that they know that they are fierce mighty daughters of the king. If we dont show them who will. It starts with us.....God calls us to love not judge. Yes everyone is entitled to their own opinion but you dont know that persons story what theyve been through or what they are going through right now dont judge. What you say you dont like or dont want is 9 times out of 10 what God has for you so be careful what you say brotha. God bless

      Delete
  7. Mr. Nobody you sound like Mr. Mangina. You sound like a straight up bitch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, you sound like someone who has a lot of pain from growing up in a house that encouraged shaming women for not constantly being beautiful.
      When you say those kinds of things, does the anger make you feel more powerful?
      For a guy who *~*loves*~* women so much, you sure like to insult us a lot.

      Delete
  8. I get everyones point. I agree with everyone, looking at it from thier POV. Moderation, consideration, and a long hard look at understanding this thing is with you forever is needed to produce the best outcome. If you are short sided on any of those things then you fall into the negative category that is the POV of everyone who responded to this article.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't think tattoos should be on either men or women; for one thing you're not a house and a tattoo is not a removable paint job, not to mention there are few tats that don't look obscene or ridiculous to the average person on the street.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I support your article, and as a women myself, I do not find it be "condescending" or "benevolently sexist". Do not let people who are fearful of the non politically correct shame you. You speak for countless others, and whilst I think our society should rise above its inherent biases, nonetheless women need the unvarnished and unpolished truth before they make choices about their self expression that could potentially damage their own self esteem and self worth. Not that I'm equating tattoos with sex videos or burlesque, but their are people who encourage women to do things with their bodies that later cause women pain and shame. They're encouraged to show off their body, and then the same people who encourage this judge them for this. Women's bodies have become a public commodity and part of the public discourse, and women would be wise to protect themselves a little bit from society's intense need to label, categorize, and subject women to intense scrutiny. I caution my nieces not to tattoo themselves or mark themselves in a permanent way. Not to post too much bout themselves on social media, and not to share nude photos of themselves. They attack me for advice to hide themselves away a little bit for protection. Labeling me all sort of things including sexist. But I'm only a 32 year old women, trying to offer them the advice of someone who has had many amazing beautiful women she's known fall prey to drug addiction, eating disorders, self harm, and suicide even. And all of this behaviors stemmed from deep shame. These women were expressing themselves in the way that society told them to, without limits, boundaries, or filters. Society tells women to offer up their bodies for public consumption under the guise of "self expression". When these women aren't treated with the respect and compassion that they truly deserve, they are filled with deep shame and become more self destructive as a way for their external reality to match how they've begun to feel about themselves inside. A tattoo is really no ones business, and I'm not advocating no tattoos on women. I'm advocating that these women think hard about public displaying or getting tattoos in overtly public areas of their body, so as to protect themselves from the perceptions of others. To protect their bodies from public consumption. And to realize that if they get tattoos in order to show them off or to become accepted and admired, that they are putting themselves in deeply vulnerable positions that could ultimately lead to deep pain and shame if they do not receive the positive affirmation they hope for. If anyone responds to this, it will be with a moral equivalency argument stating something along the lines of, "this is the sort of attitude that keeps women in burkas". I'm not advocating fundamentalism. I'm advocating women being aware of their vulnerabilities and listening to the honesty of men, men don't lie when they label and categorize women. And we can't just politically correct our way out of subconscious male-female dynamics. Women should keep they're bodies as a personal commodity as opposed to a public one , so that men are forced to look into their eyes and plumb the depths of their souls before they ever begin to speculate about what her flower tattoos spanning the length of her back suggest about her self respect and life story.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Why would one want to become even more of a minority?

    ReplyDelete