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Monday, June 4, 2012

If you’re taking the CUNY Office Assistant Exam Here’s Some Tips and Advice

The City University of New York is offering up some more Civil Service exams for the CUNY Office Assistant position in July 2012   Here’s what you need to know to pass it.

This test is mostly eighth grade level English and Math. If you can’t do this middle school level work then save your money. Contrary to popular belief of most blockheaded stupid-ass veteran CUNY Civil Service employees this test is NOT HARD. Anyone with an AAS or AOS Degree from a Non-CUNY school can probably pass this exam EASILY.

I got an 80 on the test in 2007 and 2009 with just a little studying. So can you. Just study some of the following things for the next few weeks

Study up on the multiplication of Fractions.
Study up on the division of fractions.
Study up on up on how to turn a mixed number into a fraction.
Study up on how to turn a fraction into a mixed number.
Study up on the addition of decimals.
Study up on the subtraction of decimals.
Study up on the Multiplication of decimals.
Study up on the division of decimals.
Study up on how to turn a decimal into a percent. 
Study  up on how to turn a decimal into a fraction.
Study up on percentages.
Study up on the placement of decimals.

Study up on alphabetical order.
Study up on grammar and sentence structure.
Study up on spelling and vocabulary.
Read a manual like the Bedford English Handbook or Strunk & White's Elements of Style. 
Remember that a phone is only allowed to ring three times at CUNY before you pick it up.

If you manage to pass the exam and the computer skills test (ALSO EASY) a few weeks later,  that's the easy part.  Soon you'll have to endure the gauntlet of the Hiring pool in a few months. On the day of the Hiring Pool, clear your schedule, because you'll be there ALL DAY. Bring lots of resumes and prepare to WAIT.  FOR HOURS. 

And  if you’re a man, especially a Black Male just stop here and save yourself some grief. I tell you from personal experience:


The preference for this position is mostly female. 90 percent of the CUNY COAs are women of color. The Pseudo Intellectual White Supremacists prefer having females of color in these positions because it makes them feel superior in their Ivy covered fortresses. Plus they prefer having women in secretarial and administrative positions so they can look at their tits and asses.

Sometimes they hire a simp or a mangina or two to make things look fair, but in the most cases, it’s women.

Worse, The CUNY hiring pool is run and managed by women and most of the HR for all the colleges are women. And these ratchet bitches guarding the Ivy covered walls of CUNY will make sure that you do not get hired if you are a Black man.

Cause Black men are crimiulz in the eyes of White Supremacist Pseudo Intellectuals who run CUNY and THEY THINK THE NIGGAZ GONNA GIT THEM AND TAKE THEY WALLET AFTER WORK.

However, if you are a female, Mangina, Simp, Hispanic or Asian male here’s what you’ll experience at a CUNY hiring pool.

Yeah, You will be there all day. And chances are most of you will NOT get a job. Especially if there’s a female with a nice rack and a great ass in the bunch.

Bring books, a game boy or an ipod with you. You will be waiting for HOURS. I have been at hiring pools that started at nine and had to sit there until five in the evening. And still walked out with no job.

Don’t expect much. CUNY is notorious for calling down 40 or 50 people and only having two or three jobs available.

Some colleges listed don’t show up. Hostos Community College in The Bronx is often listed in their mailings, but is notorious for NEVER SHOWING UP to the Hiring Pools. In most cases, they hire Hispanics there. So if you’re bi-lingual you’d have a shot. 

But unfortunately, they never show up to any of the hiring pools. Hell, I was told to e-mail my resume one time and the person I was supposed to e-mail my resume to, told me to mail it to them. I never heard back from them. So yeah, They're that corrupt. 

The HR people from Lehman College are absolute douchebags. So are the people from Baruch College. So arrogant and full of themselves they need two extra chairs for their egos. These are the kinds of HR assholes who will just go through the motions with you and then tell you that you aren’t qualified at the end of the interview.

If you're going to these Hiring Pools be prepared to travel to crazy locations in your quest to get this job which only pays $26,000 a year. CUNY hosts Hiring Pools all over the city. I’ve had to travel to Manhattan, Brooklyn, The Bronx and as far out as Queens. This is a passive-aggressive tactic meant to make people quit.

Oh and  If you don’t mail back stuff, or forget to decline in a certain number of days your name winds up being taken off the list.

And there goes your $30 right into CUNY’s coffers.

Feel ripped off yet?

Or do you think this is enough headache for a lousy $26,000 a year job?

In some cases CUNY HR is notorious for ending hiring pools early once they hire all the people they want. Hold your righteous indignation back. Shawn told you this was a screw job.

People at CUNY Lie. And they lie often here. They lie about office hours. They lie about overtime. They lie about the duties of a position. They lie about their budget. And they lie about your job security. 

Don’t trust anything anyone says at CUNY. People are so full of shit here they make toilet bowls jealous. Ethics is not a strong point at the City University of New York.

A lot of the jobs offered here are bullshit. You will not get any skills you can take to another employer here. Nor will you be challenged to step up your game. Most CUNY employees want to be comfortable. They encourage mediocrity. Because when someone steps up their game and shows CUNY students the quality service people usually receive at other private colleges and businesses around the world,   it makes them look incompetent. Half-Assed is the standard for excellence at CUNY. 

The job that’s often available at these hiring pools is in the Registrar’s office. It turns over constantly. Knowledge of Microsoft Access or DOS is preferred. Why DOS? CUNY’s ESIMS system is so old it probably runs on punch cards and vaccum tubes.

Preference is often given to CUNY students and friends of CUNY employees over outsiders.
If you are a CUNY college assistant working in a department chances are you’ll be hired.
If you are a beautiful White woman with nice tits and a nice ass you’ll be hired INSTANTLY.
If you are a Black woman with a bad attitude, you will DEFINITELY be hired.
And if you are a Fat Black woman with a bad attitude complete with rolling eyes, snapping neck and a loud mouth, you are SURE TO GET HIRED. CUNY LOVES having these overbearing heifers at their front desks to deter people from asking for help or getting service.

Unfortunately, after spending your entire day just sitting and wasting it in this hiring pool you will be told your name will remain on the list. You will be pissed. You will want to kick someone’s ass. You will wish you spent the $30 on two of Shawn’s books or giving it to a homeless man rather than taking this exam and spending more money chasing this chump change $26,000 a year job.

But after your ordeal remember that Shawn told you CUNY CIVIL SERVICE IS A PIECE OF SHIT.