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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Eliot Rodger- What Happens when a “NICE GUY™” Loses It

I’ve been reading about Eliot Rodger, the college student who shot and murdered innocent people in a killing spree because he was allegedly frustrated about his inability to get laid. On the surface it looks like mental illness caused him to mete out his “Day of Retribution”. However when one peels back the layers on this sociopath, they’ll see he’s just another Nice Guy” upset because he had to experience this thing we call LIFE.

It seems like every time a male these days can’t get his way with women or can’t get something else that he wants, he goes out, gets a gun and starts shooting. Or like in the case of a teenager here in New York who was told by a girl she wouldn’t go to prom with him, he gets a knife and starts stabbing. We think these men are going crazy. But they’re not insane at all. In actuality, these spoiled little boys are having the adult equivalent of a tempertantrum.

Someone had the audacity to say NO to them. And they just couldn’t handle it.

In the case of “Nice Guys” like Eliot Rodger their mothers and in some cases their Mangina fathers have spent their entire lives giving them everything they wanted, but never took the time to meet their emotional needs. And because no one took the time to teach boys like Eliot Rodger never learn how to deal with their emotions regarding things such as failure, loss, and pain, they never build the discipline needed to function in the real world.

So when someone says no to them, they lose it.

Examining the case of Eliot Rodger it’s clear to he exhibits all the traits of the “nice guy” syndrome. And the scary part of a “Nice Guy” is that he isn’t very “Nice” at all. “Nice Guys” are dishonest, manipulative and very passive-aggressive. They’re extremely insecure. And they’re extremely dangerous.

Reading Rodger’s Maifesto reminded me of the two Black males YouTuber HeavenlyTruth1 dissected in his Identify a Pussy Beggar video five years ago. In that video you’ll see two “Nice Guys” in the mold of Eliot Rodger who are frustrated because the women they want aren’t attracted to them. Guys whoare this close to exploding in rage.

In a lot of cases A “Nice Guy” is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. On the Surface he’s shy and unassuming, but in a lot of cases underneath that shy unassuming exterior is a man who is an emotional powderkeg packed tight with TNT. All it takes is for someone to just say no to them to set them off.

Eliot Rodger hid his true feelings about people and the world for years. And a last week he exploded in the rage he had been boiling in.

Many “Nice Guys” become violent because they don’t know how to deal with their emotions. Because they’ve been sheltered and coddled for so long by their mothers and in some cases their Mangina fathers they become anxious and extremely overwhelmed when they have to deal with emotions they don’t like feeling like rejection. And because they lack the coping skills to sort those feelings out, they become frustrated.

When that frustration turns to rage, these guys explode. And those explosions of anger can range from a profanity laced tirade to extreme violence such as rapes, murders and mass murders like the one Eliot Rodger participated in.

Eliot Rodger went on a killing spree not because he couldn’t get laid, it’s because he couldn’t deal with his emotions regarding a world filled with other people. People with differing opinions than him. People who can disagree with him. People who could say no to him.

In most cases the average “Nice Guy” like Eliot Rodger lacks the social skills to navigate places like the dating scene where things aren’t always going to go their way. The “Nice Guy” likes a smooth world. He expects everyone to say YES to him because mom and Dad always say YES to him and give him everything he wants. He expects to get everything he wants because he is “good” and “good” people deserve to have everything they want for being “good”.

Rodger felt because he came from a “good” family and had lots of money, he was entitled to sex with the women he desired. The truth is Eliot Rodger didn’t want sex because he was attracted to the women in his area. He wanted sex because he thought it would make him popular with the in crowd at his college. Like most “Nice Guys” Rodger fixated on blonde sorority girls not because he thought they were attractive, but because he thought they’d be attractive to other people and would allow him to have a form of social currency to brag about in social situations. For him women were just another attachment like his BMW and designer clothes.

With his money, if Eliot Rodger wanted sex with a woman, he could have just hopped on a plane and went to Las Vegas where prostitution was legal. But like Most “Nice Guys” like Gary from the 1982 film, The Last American Virgin, Rodger wanted sex from his “dream” woman, the one he fantasized about, the blonde Sorority girl. The truth is Rodger didn’t like women for who they were, he wanted a woman for what he could get out of her: Social currency and his own personal sex toy to fuck whenever he liked.

However, because Rodger lacked the social skills needed to have an intimate relationship with a woman and the masculine energy that would sexually attract women to him they ignored him. Yeah, he studied all the tricks of Pick Up Artists, but because he lacked social skills, he still remained invisible to women.

To overcompensate for his feelings of insecurity and inadequacy he focused on dressing up his outside like a peacock. He thought toys like BMWs, designer sunglasses and designer clothes would get women to pay attention to him. Unfortunately, these attachments didn’t get him the attention he desired.

Watching his video clips, it’s clear to me Rodger was having a hard time navigating life in the real world. Like most Feeling overwhelmed and becoming more and more frustrated by all the rejection he was encountering in the world of a college filled with Real People, Rodger’s frustration turned to rage. And in his smoldering rage he began plotting a “Day of Retribution” to make people pay for rejecting him.

However, no one was rejecting him. No one probably even knew he existed. Most people were going on with their lives. Unfortunately, Rodger thought the world revolved around him. According to his own Manifesto, he believed he was a god.

Only the world saw him as an angry pathetic little man not worth the time to pay attention to. Again, the only people who think a “Nice Guy” is so great are usually his parents. The rest of the world sees him as insecure, needy and in some cases emotionally disturbed.

From what I’ve seen Eliot Rodger is part of a trend of dysfunctional Males that has been emerging. His behavior clearly follows the pattern of James Holmes, Adam Lanza and a male who killed a girl because she said she wouldn’t go to the prom with him here in New York. In all these cases these males were sheltered, spoiled and given practically everything they wanted. And when they were confronted with the harsh realities of life, all of these males lost it. Becoming frustrated because they couldn’t deal with a world filled with all the failures, losses, and rejections that are a part of everyday life, they went out and got guns to make everyone pay for just saying no to them.

These were spoiled little boys who never learned the basics of how to be a man.

Many parents over the last 40 years believed that giving their kids everything they wanted would help them be better people. But what I’m finding in a lot of cases is that it’s not preparing them for life in the real world. What these parents don’t understand is that the word NO is a good thing. It builds character. It toughens a person’s resolve so they can persevere. And it helps people deal with their feelings so they can suck it up and do what they have to do to survive in this world.

In life we have to deal with lots of people saying no to us. If anything, the word NO helps boys grow into men who can function as adults. Men have to deal with failure. Men have to deal with loss. Men come to understand life isn’t fair and he doesn’t always get what he wants. And Men suck it up, realize that hearing the word NO is not a problem and move on.

It takes a lot of NO to get to YES. But if a boy doesn’t start hearing NO he can’t build the discipline to keep pushing himself get to YES.

After Adam Lanza, I thought it was mental illness that led to so many males acting out with violence. But now I’m understanding that this is Spoiled Rotten Bitch-Made™ behavior. One generation of spoiled soft males (1960s and 1970s) has raised another generation of spoiled soft males (1980s and 1990s) and now this third generation of spoiled soft males is having a hard time dealing with stuff that would roll off their Great-Grandfather’s backs.

Sadly, from what I’ve seen in HeavenlyTruth1’s video about Pussy Beggars five years ago is there are a lot more Eliot Rodgers and Adam Lanzas out there. It’s unfortunate, but I expect to hear about a lot more shootings and massacres like this in the future. There are two generations of Bitch-Made™ Males out there and it’s only a matter of time before they start exploding in violence because they realized the world didn’t revolve around them.

It’s not going to be laws or mental health counselors that’s going to stop this trend. The only way to stop this trend of violence is to start saying NO to your children.


  1. I can remember a post you wrote where in some cases, it's better for the person to jack off instead of trying to have sex with women who aren't that interested in him if he can't control his sexual urges (and you made a good point about sex as something that involves intimacy between two people, something that goes beyond but is connected to both sexual urges and reproduction).

  2. True, I did say that Ad. At least the guy who jacks off knows he is in control of himself and how he feels about his sexuality.

    Eliot Rodger lost control of himself because he couldn't understand his emotions regarding sex and sexuality. Like a lot of "Nice" Guys he focused on women and pleasing women not because he liked them, but because of the attention he could get from others by being with them. For him sex was just another piece of social currency that would make him appear "cool" to others. This is why he obsessed over sorority girls, he wanted to have sex with someone who would give him the most social currency, not someone who would give him an intimate relationship.

  3. Spot on! Aside from teh sex part. Rodger probably thought he should have been accepted with open arms because he got to drive a Beemer that dad's money bought and wore clothing that dad's money bought as well.

    Problem? So did all the others around him. They have dad's money, too.

    Hence, he wasn't special like his Facebook profile full of selfies led him to believe and him being mentally ill (despite what the mentally ill on the Internet will tell you) enough to explore dieing his hair blonde at age 8 will tell you.

    It would have done wonders for six victims if his parents would have dragged him away from the fantasy world he was in staring at WoW all day.

    One response to ER that I found quite disturbing elsewhere was that "being judgmental" of ER was what led to his downfall and that we're bad for doing that?

    Say what?

    I wholeheartedly endorse being judgmental of others. Even Psalms 37:30 says so. Besides, it cuts the drama out of your life in short order and having folks in your life that do nothing but kick ass is a great thing, if you can swing it.

  4. What you say in this article is truth, great writing in a raw, unsugar- coated format! .