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Saturday, November 3, 2012

The Pity Card™- The Ace in the Shy Guy’s Losing Hand

Some shy men play on a woman’s sympathy to get to her heart. They think if they act all timid and introverted playing the victim role they’ll get women to feel sorry for them.

It’s the ace in the shy guy’s hand.

And it’s another one of the reasons they lose in the dating game.

When women say they feel sorry for a man it’s pretty much GAME OVER.

What the shy guy doesn’t understand is that when women pity a man, they don’t respect him. And respect is paramount in having a relationship with a woman. Without respect a man is seen as weak. And weak men don’t have a strong enough self-confidence to maintain a relationship with a woman.

Men who aren’t respected lose face in front of a woman. And a man without a face is someone she doesn’t see as having importance in her life.

When a woman respects a man, she sees him as someone important. Someone special. Someone she values and appreciates above all other men but God. That’s someone she wants to spend time with. Someone she’s looking forward to spending time with. Someone she’ll make herself available for all the time.

But if she pities a man she sees him as someone she tolerates. Someone she has to be with out of duty. Someone she has to spend time with. He becomes someone she has to take care of. Someone she has to teach. Instead of being seen as an equal partner, she sees a man in a child-like role. Someone she has to patronize and talk down to.

He’s not someone she’s looking forward to being around or making herself available for.

A relationship with a man a woman pities usually becomes a chore. Usually she bides her time waiting for a payoff, to see if he’ll actualize that potential and promise she knows he has deep down inside himself.
It’s usually a payoff that usually never comes.

Long-term that pity often turns to frustration and that frustration turns to resentment. And that resentment winds up getting expressed in passive-aggressive ways such as sighs, rolled eyes, cold looks, and defensive body language like folded arms and crossed legs as she waits for the shy guy to grow some balls and stand up for himself.

As the frustration reaches a climax with a woman she eventually does things to end the relationship. Usually when a woman pities a man she winds up dumping him or cheating on him. When women end a relationship with a shy guy they pity they oftentimes release their pent-up frustration in an explosion of anger. They’ll beat him up, call him names, and curse him out.

For some women it’s almost like a cleansing as they get all those angry feelings they held inside themselves out of their systems. Because most go on and have a very happy healthy relationship with someone else after ripping that shy guy a new one.

Some shy guys play this pity card because they’re scared of women. Because they’re desperate. Because they’re scared of rejection.

But trust me brothers, it’s just not worth it. Face those fears and become better men.

It’s better for a man to endure the pains of hearing no and over again from a hundred women than to be involved with one who feels sorry for him. By building up a resolve and character a man will earn the respect of women in the circles he travels.

Sure pity may get a shy guy a little pussy in the short-term, but it’s not great pussy. Women don’t enjoy pity sex. Like doing the dishes, or cooking dinner, or picking up the dry cleaning, it’s just another chore she does to get through the relationship. She’s doing Sudoku puzzles and going over grocery lists in her head. And when the Shy guy is done busting that nut two minutes later, most women just rolls over and goes to sleep fantasizing about the man she really wants to be with.

Once a man loses a woman’s respect he can’t take it back. In the eyes of that woman he’s forever tarnished. 

And guys who women pity are often seen as second best on the first glance.

And no man wants to be seen as a woman’s second best. But that’s the default position of any guy who plays the pity game.

So if you’re shy, make the best first impression possible. Muster up the confidence to go talk to the women you like. You may not get the number. But they’ll respect your effort. And that respect will go a long way in the future.

Fellas, women want confidence in a man above all else. A man who is secure in himself is someone they’ll respect. Someone they’ll admire. Once a woman earns a man’s respect she’ll want to spend time with him. And if she learns to respect him, she’ll follow his lead in a relationship.

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