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Sunday, April 22, 2012

Why Captain Save-A-Hoe Ain't no Hero

 Look up in the sky!
It’s a bird!
It’s a Plane!

It’s Captain Save-A-Hoe!


There’s always one of these wanna-be superheroes in every neighborhood. A surrogate father who takes care of Baby mamas and their kids. Sometimes he tries to help women get away from abusive boyfriends or husbands. Sometimes he wants to be a helping hand to rape victims and survivors of sexual abuse. In extreme cases tries to help out the hardest of hard luck cases like strippers, junkies, runaways, and prostitutes. He thinks by showing these women a little love and support they’ll change and become good upstanding women who will love him forever and ever.

He usually gets rewarded for his all his heroic deeds by getting smashed in the face with Kryptonite laced doo doo.

Or he just gets his ass kicked by his rogues gallery of villains which includes Baby Daddy, Baby Daddy #2, Baby Daddy #3, Her Ex, Mr. Pimp, Thugg Nigga, or Dope Boy.

In some extreme cases he winds up dead.

And he deserves whatever fate he receives.

On the surface, the Captain-Save-A Hoe type guys appear noble. A hero helping out the baby mamas with their kids or giving a victim of domestic violence or a sexual abuse survivor a helping hand. But In reality, Captatin Save-A-Hoe is just another brand of SIMP. And he’s the worst type of SIMP, one scavenging the bottom of the barrel for some ass.

Captain-Save-A-Hoe types don’t have the confidence to approach decent women. No, these guys like their women DYSFUNCTIONAL. It’s how they get power and control in a relationship.

It’s the only way he can appear like a Hero.

Captain-Save-A-Hoe types know dysfunctional women are usually lonely and desperate. And desperate women like Baby Mamas, junkies, strippers, rape survivors, sexual abuse survivors, runaways, and domestic violence victims usually don’t have many options. Having anyone pay any type of attention to them (good or bad) means the world to them. Which usually makes these women easy lays.

That’s what makes these guys absolute scumbags.

Captain-Save-A-Hoe types pretend to be heroes to women, but are actually are super-villains. These predators stalk around dysfunctional situations looking for women to exploit. They’re not helping women out because they want to see them improve their quality of life. No, they’re doing all these “good deeds” in the hopes of scoring some pussy from a scared and emotionally vulnerable woman.

What most women who get involved with a Captain-Save-A-Hoe types don’t understand is that they’re getting into a unwritten “Quid pro quo” (this for that) contract with the Captain. Captain-Save-A-Hoes imply that in exchange for all of their “help” (taking care of the kids, fending off abusive boyfriends, and being pseudo counselor) he is entitled to sex from the woman. Moreover, they’re supposed to live happily ever after in a co-dependent relationship where he gets all the sex he wants in exchange for more of his wonderful “help”.

Sounds sick and twisted doesn’t it?

That’s because it is.

What really makes it SICK is that most Captain-Save-A-Hoe types don’t have the BALLS to tell these dysfunctional women this is exactly what they want from DAY ONE. No, these guys will do all these “good deeds” hoping, wishing, and praying that one day that the woman he’s helping will see how “good” they are and “appreciate all they’ve done for them” and give them a sexual reward for all their “good deeds”.

Usually this will go on for several months or even years until the Captain’s sexual frustration reaches a climax. Then after shelling out thousands of dollars on kids clothes, deposits on apartments or other stuff, he’ll finally muster up enough courage to ask for sex or make a move on said female.

It’s usually then woman he’s pursing will decline his request for sex. That’s when he loses it and reveals the villain he truly is. Denied sex, these guys try to shame women into giving them some ass by talking about all the stuff they’ve done for them, and how they’re not feeling appreciated. And when she still refuses to give him sex in exchange for his favors, he goes off into a fit of rage equal to that of the “evil ex” or whatever abusive guy she was involved with before.

That’s usually when he gets his ass kicked by said members of the Rogues gallery. Or the Police.

Captain-Save-A-Hoe types don’t want a woman to have a relationship where they are independent of them. No, they want a relationship where a woman becomes co-dependent. Co-dependency is a parasitic relationship where one partner is so needy that they leech onto the other and literally sucks the life out of them. Most Captain-Save-A-Hoe types wind up destroying the lives of the women they’re involved with by leech onto dysfunctional women and making them emotionally dependent on them. On the surface it looks like they’re taking care of an emotionally vulnerable woman, but that caretaking is just another form of control.

What really makes these guys douchebags is the fact that they are LIARS. They lie to dysfunctional and troubled women by pretending to be someone concerned with helping them when they’re actually out to exploit them. These parasites scavenge the bottom of the barrel of the dating pool offering a troubled woman an opportunity at a better life. However the whole goal of his romantic pursuits is to find an emotionally vulnerable woman and make her completely dependent on HIM.

In addition to the lies Captain Save-A-Hoe types tell to women, they lie to themselves. And it’s those lies that do the most harm because they believe they’re actually the truth regarding their character. Captain-Save-A-Hoes believe they’re good men who should be praised for going out of their way to help out deeply troubled women. However, what they don’t understand it’s the selfish reasons behind helping those women that makes them jerks who should be reviled.

Captain-Save-A-Hoes usually don’t care how their help does more harm to a woman. As long as they get what their nut off and their ego sated, they’re indifferent to the further mental and psychological damage they inflict on a dysfunctional woman.

Thanks to the Captain-Save-A-Hoe’s lies, a troubled woman like a rape survivor or a sexual abuse survivor winds up more emotionally and psychologically damaged in the aftermath of the relationship because the sinister motives behind his “good deeds” further reinforces their reasons for not trusting men. Moreover, it gives them reasons not to trust professional men like counselors and psychiatrists who could help them effectively deal with their problems in the future.

Captain Save-A-Hoes aren’t heroes. No, they’re cowards without the courage to pursue women with honest intentions. They fear any relationship where they have to deal with a woman who is their equal, someone who can challenge them. They need contracts and strings as a way to control a relationship because they’re too insecure to trust a woman.

A Real Man is honest and up front when he pursues a woman. He clearly expresses his intents and motivations to a woman on day one. There are no implied contracts or ulterior motives behind his actions. When he does things for a woman, it’s with no strings attached.

And if he does pursue a woman with issues, he understands it’s not his job to save her and do things for her. He understands it’s her responsibility to make serious efforts to overcome her issues. While he may support her by offering some possible solutions, he encourages her to persevere towards solving her own problems and making her own decisions even if they don’t benefit him.

And if a woman is making no efforts to help herself, he helps himself by moving on.

Real Men understand that co-dependency is bad for both of them and no one person should be completely dependent on another person for everything. A healthy relationship is a partnership where two people support each other but can operate independently of each other.

Ladies need to understand Captain-Save-A-Hoe ain’t no Hero. When he’s out on patrol, he’s looking for a woman to control body and soul. So if you see this fool in your neighborhood just know he’s up to no good.


  1. When I first saw this heading, I did a doubletake, asking "What!" I started not to read, but I'm glad I did. From the heading, I felt it was a slam to men who sincerely were trying to help women who had taken the wrong path. howevever, your article is dead on target.

    Nothing is more reprehensible than someone who under the guise of helping drives another hunan further down. I don't think their place in hell can be hot enough. The sad part about this is that it's a difficult thing to see, most often until it's way too late and the victim is victimized -- yet again.

    And yes, you're right, these monsters do sometimes wind up dead; the pain was just too much for the tormented ones to bear. But all too often, they're seen as saviours and model citizens of the community.

    So, you're doing a great service here, in your usual great style, but just maybe next time you should let us know exactly what you're trying to do before someone else misses out on this excellent blog.

  2. See my comment above. Blogspot moved too fast to take my name.

  3. Right on Shawn! You hit the nail right on the head. I married a man who died three years later because he refused to cut the demons of his past. Two trifling women that refused to let go, and most of all, he refused to let go of them. He needed to feel in control. I'm the decent woman, and I thought that something I did in the marriage that was causing his health to fail. He did it to himself by refusing to give up this image.