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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Clark Kent Quits His Job At the Daily Planet…WTF?

Clark Kent announces he’s quitting the Daily Planet. He says he’s tired of writing fluffy news stories. Y’know stuff like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. Stuff that really isn’t news.

Ironically, this makes my paper.

Is this really news?

In the panel where he announces he’s quitting, Clark comes to work at the Daily Planet unshaven and dressed in a hip n’ cool red hoodie.

I think they’d have him smoking a blunt if they could get away with it.

Is this Clark Kent or Ashton Kutcher?

That’s how half-baked this story premise is. It just reeks of desperation. I love how Clark wants people to take him seriously as a reporter when after not showing up for a WEEK he comes in dressed in a red HOODIE.

Yeah, that’s what all the hard-hitting journalists do.

Maybe Superman ought to take back to the road to find himself again. Because he’s fuckin’ LOST.

Who's quitting a job during the WORST economic downturn since the Great Depression?

(Some advice to you aspiring journalists: If you don’t show up to work for a week and haven’t submitted an article since then, don’t show up for work unshaven in a hoodie. Then get into an emotional philosophical argument with your boss about journalistic ideals.

Because you look like a Bitch-Made™ JACKASS.

Do what us responsible adults would do: Put on a suit and tie, apologize and then write the best article you possibly can. Then people can take your comments about “fluff” news more seriously. Maybe you’ll even get considered to write one of those “hard-hitting stories” once you prove you can manage writing “fluff”)

After being chewed out by Perry white for not submitting an article for a week, we get a rant about The Daily Planet not producing quality news stories. That he wants to write stories about “Truth, Justice and the American way.”

DC Comics is just trying too hard to make their characters relatable if you ask me. Way too hard.

I’m really getting tired of this attention whoring by DC Comics. First Superman was dating Wonder Woman. Now he’s quitting his job.

I wonder how he’s gonna pay for those dates with Wonder Woman now. Diana looks like she has expensive tastes.

According to the whizzes at DC 27-year old Clark is looking to set a standard for journalistic excellence.

With a blog.

Seriously with a blog?



Oh to be this young and dumb.

Oh, wait, I was back in 2000. Living in poverty for the past decade and a half me change my perspective on the ideals of being a writer.

Here’s Shawn’s advice to you aspiring writers: If you luck out and get a day job writing, KEEP it. And write whatever Paris, Britney, Kim, or other bullshit story those editors tell you to pay your bills. If you want to write that other hard objective journalistic stuff, write on the side under a pen name. That’s how you build your reputation. Don’t go to the readers, Let the readers, come to you.

Seriously, not that many bloggers make enough money to live off their writing. Hell, most writers don’t make that much money from their writing in general. Most writers have day jobs in addition to their writing. Others take editing, consulting, and free-lance commission work to pay their bills.

Google ads aren’t gonna pay enough money to cover the rent in Metropolis. Trust me.

I guess Clark is commuting to and from work from the Fortress of Solitude. Cause he ain’t gonna have a place to stay in Metropolis.

Now Clark has walked away from the Daily Planet before. From 1971-1986 he worked for WGBS as a TV reporter. And a few years ago he was laid off in a couple of issues of the previous Superman Volume cancelled back in 2011.

So this setting change is just re-hash for me. Nothing new and improved here.

Except the stupid part about quitting a job without having another lined up. That’s just fucking retarded. Even when I was 27 I was smart enough to know not to do that.

Seriously, I just get tired of the attention whoring by comic book companies. Is this really news? Does this really deserve press?

It seems like every week or so DC Comics or Marvel Comics is announcing something BIG is happening in between the pages of their comics.

When it’s really something really insignificant and unimportant.

Didn’t Professor X die for the third time last week? Wasn’t that last week’s big news story from comic book land?

Now I have no problem with change. If Clark had started working for a Daily Planet similar to the new online subscription based Newsweek that was announced last week that would be an interesting story development. An inspired reimagining that would organically fit into our changing world.

But this is half-assed hackneyed storytelling. The second “bold new direction” for Superman 13 issues into his fifth reboot. Basically a new writer (Scott Lobodell) is on board and DC wanted press for it so that sales of the book wouldn’t tank hard like most books do when they get a new writer and creative team.

A deflection to keep people focused on the crumbling structure of the Stale 52. The same fluffy journalism that 27-year-old Clark Kent vehemently protests about being against in the pages of Superman #13 unshaven in his hip n’ cool red hoodie.

A story like this wouldn’t have gotten press in 1971, and it doesn’t need it now. With the country in economic dire straits, a tight presidential race between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, and cities like Chicago and Detroit becoming war zones, I’d think there would be more important things to report on.

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