Why 70 Percent of Black Women are Single

Today, seventy percent of African-American women are single. Unfortunately many of these sistas don’t understand it’s the little things they do that are keeping them from having a healthy relationship with a Black man. I feel if Black women had any insight into how they were acting they’d understand why they couldn’t find that “good” man who will want to share in a relationship with them.

Want to know why seventy percent of Black women are single? Here are some of the reasons:

Negative Attiude There’s always a storm cloud around a Black woman. Because she’s constantly down in the dumps she projects negative energy about herself. That negative energy makes people stay away from her and it erects a wall around her that keeps her from connecting with people.

Ironically it’s this attitude that keeps her from the very people she professes to want in her life like a good man. Most Black women don’t know that like attracts like and in order to get a good positive Black man, a Black woman must be good and positive as well.

Defensive body language- Because a Black woman is always on the defensive she’s always acting in ways to make people keep their distance. Crossed arms, crossed legs, haughty looks, are all signs a person isn’t interested in connecting with someone. What many Black women don’t understand is that expression of this body language is like erecting a brick wall in front of themselves turning away the very men they complain won’t talk to them.

Hostile demeanor A Black woman rarely smiles. Her face is often twisted in a scowl or a grimace of disgust. These facial expressions make people turn away from someone and avoid them. A smile is a sign that someone is approachable. When someone smiles, it’s a sign that there’s a chance for friendship and possibly a personal connection. But when a person is always scowling or grimacing it’s a sign to avoid them.

Verbally abusive African-American women do not know how to be tactful. Instead of choosing their words carefully and being sensitive to people’s feelings, they often say things that insult or offend people. Worse, when Black women speak to people it’s with a harsh or a condescending tone of voice. Many Black women have been conditioned to behave defensively in all aspects of their life and they don’t understand that the abrasive way they speak to people keeps them away.

Emotionally abusive A Black woman doesn’t know how connect with men emotionally. Because she wasn’t raised understanding how to express her emotions to men she’s always on the defensive. And because she’s always on the defensive all of her expressions of emotions often come across as attacks. This alienates the men in her life and keeps them from getting close to her.

Never a kind word A Black woman rarely has anything positive to say about anything or anyone. They never tell the men in their lives that they’ve done anything good for them. Some don’t even say please or thank you. Little things like this are expressions of appreciation and gratitude. If a person can’t express their feelings towards someone they care about then how can they have a relationship with them?

Black women need to think about it this way: Would anyone want to come home to someone who always complains, is NEVER HAPPY, and NEVER SATISFIED? That kind of person is just GRATING and will DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY FROM THEM.

Unwilling to fight fair When African-American women they argue with a Black man, they just don’t disagree, they hit below the belt. They launch into personal attacks about handicaps, unemployment, or other issues Black men having. These attacks hit brothers like fists, knocking them down emotionally. As they heal from their wounds they learn to keep their distance from Black women. Some are so emotionally traumatized from the abuse that they want nothing to do with Black women in the future.

Always has to get the last word in A Black woman can never let a man cool down and go back to his corner when he decides to leave an argument. When a man is upset and retreating from the conflict, she follows him looking to get one last statement in. And when she does this, she goes in for the kill with low blows and cheap shots in an attempt to humiliate her man and make him feel worthless. Sistas need to understand that sometimes it’s best to let a man walk away and keep her comments to herself.

Unsupportive When a Black man wants to do something and asks a black woman to be there for him, Black women aren’t there to provide support at all. Instead of helping their men in their careers or even in their hobbies, Black women often put the needs of others in front of the needs of their partners. And no man wants to be a fifth wheel in a relationship where he’s supposed to be a partner.

When a woman doesn’t support her man it makes him feel like he isn’t being valued. And when a man feels like he isn’t valued by his partner he decides to abandon the relationship, either emotionally by disconnecting or physically by cheating.

Shows no respect to her man A Black woman won’t show a Black man the most basic of courtesies. She won’t introduce him to her friends and family. She won’t stand up for him when people speak bad about him. And a woman who won’t stand up for a man won’t stand with him in a time of crisis.

Destroys and damages a man’s property When some Black women are upset with their man she’ll destroy his property. Cut up clothes, key his car, break his awards and keepsakes. By destroying his things, it’s a clear sign that she has no respect for him.

Mocks and belittles a man’s hobbies and interests Because a Black woman is narcissistic, she doesn’t see value in anything relating to what a Black man does. If a Black man has hobbies and interests that don’t relate to sating her ego (buying her stuff), she’ll mock them and belittle them as “stupid”, “childish” and a “waste of money”. Because she doesn’t see the personal value they have to him she mocks and insults them not knowing that she’s showing how little respect she has for him.

Mocks and belittles men in the company of her friends and family Black women are known to make fun their boyfriends and husbands when out with their girlfriends. Some are known to mock and belittle their men in front of friends and family at social functions! These actions speak volumes about a Black woman’s character. How can someone profess to love someone in private yet show them absolutely no respect in public?

This is the kind of public humiliation and emasculation makes a man feel worthless. It’s the kind of cruelty shows men that they aren’t respected, valued or appreciated. It’s the kind of behavior that drives men away from a woman into the arms of another woman.

Arrogant A Black woman often thinks she knows everything. She’s unwilling to listen to others or defer to another person’s knowledge, especially if it’s a Black man. Because she’s so proud she’d rather fail and be the “strong black woman” rather than ask for help from her partner, the Black man. Because In a Black woman’s eyes she is NEVER wrong and can NEVER be wrong.

And Because a Black woman believes she is NEVER wrong, she hides her flaws from everyone. That makes it hard for anyone to connect with her. What most black women don’t understand is it’s only when people understand they aren’t perfect that they can have relationships with each other where they support and care for each other.

What’s worse than a Black woman’s hubris is the fact that most Black women think they’re better than everyone else. Black women think they are PERFECT and think everyone must come up to the level of pseudo greatness they imagine themselves at. They create unrealistic lists of criteria and think men are supposed to jump through hoops to meet their ridiculous standards. This is why they’re deeply disappointed when they try to pursue relationships with the opposite sex. No real person can ever be what they imagine them to be.

Dishonest Black women are extremely dishonest when it comes to their feelings. They say one thing and do another. For example, they say they want a good man, but they often associate with convicts, thugs, mentally ill or other dysfunctional men.

In addition to being dishonest about their feelings, Black women are also dishonest about themselves. They often hide their personal baggage in a closet hoping it won’t come out. Then they project their shame and guilt onto others in the hopes they’ll be so embarrassed about their own behavior they won’t see the truth about them.

What many Black women don’t understand is that this dishonesty prevents them from getting close to the people that love them the most.

Because Black women aren’t honest with themselves about their personal flaws and indiscretions they live in a perpetual state of denial where they tell lies to themselves. Worse, they believe these lies like “Being a strong Independent Black Woman” to be truth.

Belligerent Zora Neale Hurston stated that the Black woman was the “Mule of the world” in her novel Their Eyes Were Watching God. However the flip side of this are that mules are also stubborn and unwilling to do what people need them to do when people need them to do it. And like mules, many Black women do not like to listen or take direction from Black men when they ask them to do things that need to be done.

When confronted with her flaws, her issues or anything pertaining to her character, a Black woman REFUSES to change or make efforts to change. Because she thinks she’s PERFECT she refuses to listen to any sort of criticism or advice.

Selfish A Black woman thinks the world revolves around her and ONLY her. She believes she is the center of the universe and doesn’t think of the needs of her partner in a relationship. She thinks that it’s a man’s job to take care of her needs, but doesn’t think that he has needs as well.

In romantic relationships she doesn’t want to share with her partner. Especially when it comes to emotional issues and intimacy. When it comes to sharing love, affection and being close to someone a Black woman erects a wall between herself and her partner that prevents him from feeling his love for her.

Greedy Because a black woman is selfish, she wants everything to be for her. Her income is HER income man’s income is HER income. All of the money coming into the household is to be spent on her and the things she wants. Screw the man’s needs or things like Rent, electricity and groceries.

Materialistic Many Black women value style over substance. They don’t value a man for his internal character traits, but for the designer labels he wears the high-profile job he has at a fortune 500 company, and the ivy league college he went to. They correlate “good” with brand names. In their minds they think because a man can afford to buy these brand names he’ll have enough money to buy them designer labels and treat them like a queen. Because they look for a man to buy them material possessions they never share the things that make a strong emotional bond with someone such as loyalty, trust, honor, integrity, kindness, compassion and love.

Manipulative A Black woman can never come to a man face-to-face and ask him to do something. No, she has to go behind his back. She can’t trust him to do what is in the best interests of himself and his family or trust that his decisions are the right ones.

Worse, she consorts with a Black man’s enemies and others in the community who wish to do him harm. She thinks she’s helping him by associating with these individuals, but by acting so deceitfully she causes a rift between herself and her man.

Controlling Black women feel they have to be in charge and that their word is law. In their eyes a man must do everything the way they want it done or it’s not done right. While many Black women always talk about equal partnerships, they truly fear sharing power with a man. And because they fear sharing power with a man in a relationship they bully, harass and intimidate men. They falsely believe that by attacking and browbeating men they’ll submit to their will like a child. Unfortunately all this does is drive a good man out of the relationship into the arms of another woman.

Unwilling to compromise A relationship is supposed to be about give and take, with both partners making compromises to work with each other. But a relationship with a black woman is ONE way. Her way or the highway. Many black women think that black men are just there to serve them and that they don’t have needs as well.

Unwilling to trust A relationship requires that both partners have faith in each other and care for each other without conditions. Black women often don’t have faith in their men from day one. Worse, they attach their trust with conditions and strings. A man can only be in her life if it’s only on her terms. This lack of faith in a partner often sabotages a relationship before it starts.

Unwilling to forgive and forget When a Black woman has a bad experience with a Black man, she JUST CAN’T LET IT GO OF IT. While people of other races and Black men will just chalk that one experience up as a loss related to that one person and move on, a Black woman hold on to those bad memories for the rest of her life. Worse, she’ll project those bad experiences from the past onto EVERY MAN IN HER LIFE and anyone she gets involved in including her children making their lives a living hell.

If the man who burned her was a cheater, she’ll accuse all other men she is involved in of cheating on her. Because she won’t let go of that past failed relationship and those past hurts, she winds up carrying a boatload of emotional baggage everywhere she goes. That baggage keeps her from connecting with good men and getting close to them.

Insecure Because a Black woman refuses to trust unconditionally in her partner, she is always worried about the integrity of his commitment to her. This insecurity leads to her doing things like trying to test her relationship, utilizing threats, intimidation or nagging to control her partner. No man wants to deal with a partner who constantly doubts him, so they abandon their relationships to find a partner who will confidently trust them without conditions, tests, intimidation and threats.

Game playing Because a Black woman is insecure, unwilling to trust, she feels she has to play games and pull stunts to make a man “prove” her love to him. She’ll flirt with other men in the hopes he’ll get jealous, threaten to leave him or even damage his property. Some will even cheat on a man. All of these actions are selfish, cruel insensitive and immature. They show how dishonest a woman is and truly how little faith she has in a man to love and care for her. While many Black women think these games will draw a man closer as he makes efforts to prove his loyalty to her, ironically it’s the lack of trust she has in him that drives him further away from her.

World Building Some Black women create unrealistic fantasy worlds regarding the men they involve themselves with. They delude themselves into believing ex-convicts, thugs and drug addicts are knights in shining armor who will treat them like queens. Unfortunately, when these fantasies come crashing down into reality these women lose their minds. Because they can’t see men as people with flaws, they wind up being disappointed by every relationship they involve themselves in.

Obese In addition to being seventy percent single, Seventy percent of Black women are obese. With men being visual creatures, most are repulsed by the sight of these big heifers.

Out of Shape Along with being overweight, most Black women are out of shape. Their idea of working out is a trip to the refrigerator and back over to the sofa. Many can’t even get up a flight of stairs without being winded.

Listens to treacherous friends A single Black woman always has two or three friends to lean on…And sadly she listens to them for advice. She has no idea that in most cases her “girlfriends” are the ones to sabotage her and keep her from being happy because they want her to be as miserable as they are. It’s these harpies that tell a Black woman with a good man to dump him because “he’s boring” and date a thug. It’s these cows that tell a woman who is happy to leave her man because they’re jealous of her success in having a relationship. In some cases, these heifers make a move on a woman’s man right after she left him!

Listens to treacherous relatives A single Black woman doesn’t only have to worry about jealous friends, but envious family members as well. There are sisters, cousins, aunts, and even mothers who don’t like seeing a Black woman in their family with a man because they’re angry about their own failed relationships. In the Black woman’s world misery loves company, and Black women smile when they see other sistas just as miserable as they are. Many a Black woman has let go of a good man because mama, grandmother, auntie, cousin or a sister has told them to leave him instead of fighting for him.

Plays the victim When things aren’t going a Black woman’s way then she’s being victimized by the world. In reality she’s the one inflicting the damage on herself. A Black woman is her own worst enemy, but she’ll make you think it’s everyone else causing her pain and grief.

The sad part is most of the majority of Black women refuse to acknowledge these flaws and many more they have. Most Black women are so focused on what material things they have to offer in a relationship that they don’t look at what they’re bring to the table in terms of character.

Which is why seventy percent of Black women are still single.

Until sistas take a long hard look at themselves and work on the contents of their character they will never find a man or have a healthy relationship with one. Black women need to start being honest with themselves and start taking responsibility for their actions. It’s the way they behave and the things that they do that are keeping them from having that relationship with that one good Black man.

Professional Distance

In the workplace smart workers understand they need to put some space between themselves, the work they do and the people they work with and serve. This boundary is known as Professional Distance.

Professional distance allows a person to stay objective about the work they do and how they do it with their co-workers and how they provide services for their clients. When a person is objective, they focus on the tasks at hand.

When there are workplace issues, they focus on solving the problems, not on appeasing the people in conflict.

A person who applies professional distance to their work understands it’s important to follow company policies when doing their work, especially when interacting with clients. They understand that the workplace is about communicating in a professional manner not, socializing in a way that is detrimental to the orgnization’s business.

A person who practices professional distance also understands that things aren’t personal when it comes to work. When a person has professional distance they are objective enough to work with co-workers and supervisors to learn from them what they need to do in order to do the best job possible.

A worker who is professionally distant isn’t cold. They’re very passionate about the work they do. But they understand that there is a clear boundary between them the people they work with and the people they serve. And this line is to never be crossed no matter how they feel.

In today’s workplace I believe there isn’t enough professional distance. I feel too many employees overstep their bounds when it comes to working with clients.

And when they cross these imaginary lines it leads to them violating workplace policies such as sexual harassment. Some even commit crimes like embezzlement, fraud and statutory rape.

These breaches of trust can not only tarnish the reputation of an individual employee they can tarnish the reputation of a business. And that trust is hard to earn again once it’s been broken. All it takes is for the public to have one bad experience with one employee from a company to make people wary about doing business with an organization again.

For example, a young female teacher has sex with one of her male teenage students. Her actions make it that much harder for other teachers in that school district to do their jobs. One person’s violation of the public trust is all it takes for people to start scrutinizing all the work of the good teachers in that school district.

When did the teacher in the example she cross the line of professional distance? When her perception of the boy changed from a Teacher/student relationship to seeing the child as someone she could have a romantic interest in. By acting on her feelings she breaches the trust placed between her, the school, and his parents to look out for his safety while providing him an education.

A teacher with an understanding of professional distance would have established a clear line between herself and the male student from day one. She sees herself as his teacher and nothing else. She understands this child is a minor entrusted to her care by a school district and his parents. She understands that the law establishes a clear boundary between herself and him and that she is responsible for protecting him from harm.

If she has to tutor him, or work with him one-on-one she follows guidelines established by the principal, school board, and state law. And when she schedules that tutoring it’s in a group on school grounds. A truly professional teacher will also involve their department head and principal so there will be official records of their involvement with the students, the time she was interacting with them and the subjects they were discussing. And a truly savvy educator will enlist the help of a second teacher at the tutoring session so there will be a witness to see their interactions with students.

Another example of a violation of professional distance is a male manager at a college bookstore who decides to become chummy with a female student working in the store. After work, they go out to dinner together, and sometimes he buys her beer even though she’s underage. One day in a casual conversation with said student, the student decides to start talking about their sex life. The clerk then starts talking about what he’d like to do to the student sexually. Later on, the student files a sexual harassment complaint.

Where did the manager breach the trust? When he decided to become chummy with the female student. By not establishing that imaginary line in the sand on day one and defining his role as a supervisor, he crossed a line which led to him down a road where he violated business and personal ethics and put his employment and career at risk.

When a person utilizes professional distance as a part of their business demeanor it sets a tone of authority. By establishing clear boundaries for workplace conduct, it shows that a person is going to take their work and the workplace seriously. When they interact with the public it makes customers take their business seriously and establishes a reputation for high standards and quality in the community.

It’s common place for some to call an individual who practices professional distance aloof. Stuffy. Even conceited. However, this formal body language is a sign of the highest level of professionalism.

The workplace is supposed to be where people are on their best behavior. And a little formality goes a long way towards making people take each other and their work seriously.

The Tyler Perry Double Standard

Tyler Perry is one of the worst storytellers in Black cinema. Which frustrates many writers like myself.

It’s aggravating to watch Tyler Perry present such sloppy storytelling to African-American audiences. His stories are filled with exposition, plot holes awkward dialogue and one-dimensional characters.

Worse, in a lot of cases he does no research to make sure the details line up. For example in his recent film Good Deeds He states that Wesley Deeds is a Fifth-Generation Ivy league graduate. However, the first person to graduate from an Ivy league school was in 1853. Doing the math it’d be impossible for Wesley Deeds to exist.

Another example of his lack of research is in Good Deeds. In his story the widow of a soldier is forced to live out of her car and work as a janitor. But widows of soldiers killed in action are given up to $400,000. A person with that kind of money wouldn’t be living out of their car and working as a janitor.


And I won't talk about how this woman's daughter would receive Social Security Survivor's benefits until she turns 18. 


With soldier's benefits and Survivor's benefits from Social Security  his ready-made victim wouldn't be living in poverty. 

A third example of Perry’s lack of attention to detail was in Why Did I get Married Too. In that story The Police officer, has a hard time finding a job. But this was a former Sheriff in Denver. From my research (Just going to the Atlanta police Department website) I was able to find that Police departments such as the Atlanta P.D. are always hiring. And people with law enforcement experience are hired faster than candidates from outside. This has been the standard for every Police Department in the United States.

Some people may not think much of the things I’m pointing out But it’s those little details that make a story all that more entertaining. It’s the attention paid to these details that turn a good story into a great story.

It’s the difference between making Dolemite and Do The Right Thing. Both are memorable, but one is memorable for being absolutely terrible while the other is a memorable for a human story that stays with the viewer long after they’ve viewed it.

The things that angers me most is the double standard the Black community applies to Mr. Perry as compared to other writers, directors and filmmakers. Among Brothers and sisters he continues to get a free pass for producing poor quality work. Meanwhile the work of other writers who strive to do better like myself is scrutinized to the smallest detail.

Black people will complain about covers, or an unintentional typo or grammatical error in my work and the work of other artists, but Mr. Perry who can’t get MAJOR details right in a story is praised for his craft and given NAACP Image Awards for shoddy work.

Worse, when writers like myself present valid criticisms of Mr. Perry’s poor quality storytelling we are shouted down by rabid zealots who make excuses for him. These deflections and shaming techniques are so familiar I can recite them verbatim:

Tyler Perry Puts Black actors to work. But what most Black people don’t understand is that there’s work and there’s experience.

Work is something you do for a paycheck. A person works for a couple of hours a week and collect a check. They have no personal connection to their work, nor have they learned anything they’ll apply elsewhere.

An experience is where people form a connection with their work. They develop their existing skills and learn new skills approaches and techniques. Skills approaches and techniques a performer can use towards building their craft and apply towards future jobs in their career.

A Black actor working for Tyler Perry is the equivalent of a college graduate working at McDonald’s. It’s a paycheck for pocket money. They’re learning nothing about the craft of acting they can apply to their careers later on.

What’s worse is when a Black actor does enough of these poor quality jobs and their acting skills will start to stagnate, or worse atrophy. When an actor plays the same types of characters all the time like Black actors usually do in Tyler Perry projects, they wind up stalling in their craft. They never grow as performers or develop the wide range of their White counterparts.

Thanks to Perry’s shallow writing, no actor in one of his projects learns to dig deep and find the heart and soul of their character. When an actor is presented with a strong story they’re inspired to dig deep and find the spark that makes the person they’re playing come alive. And when they find that spark they connect with the audience. Their actions are real to the audience. The audience understands their motivations. It turns a movie from a film playing on a screen into an experience the viewer never forgets.

Nor does Perry provide the right motivation for his actors when he directs. Because Perry doesn’t write well, he doesn’t understand what makes his characters tick below the surface. Lacking a clear understanding of who his characters are and what drives them prevents him from giving his actors the support and coaching they need to give their all when they perform. Thanks to this poor preparation they never learn anything about screen presence, charisma or energy. Most of the acting I see is one dimensional forced, awkward and flat in his films.

Tyler Perry is the only person making Black films. A deflection from the truth. No, he’s the only popular person making Black films. There are a dozen people making great Black films like I will Follow. These films don’t get the press or the distribution because they’re made by independent filmmakers who lack the cash to promote their work.

Moreover, they aren’t supported by African-American audiences because they don’t feature African-Americans acting like coonish stereotypes. Because these films feature intelligent multi-dimensional humanized portrayals of African-Americans and don’t feature thugs, Black female victims and Black men in dresses portraying loudmouth gun-toting grammas, no one wants to see them.

If more of us brothers and sisters would go out of our way to support these independent filmmakers they would find a place in the market. They’d provide competition to Mr. Perry. In the face of that competition he wouldn’t be able to take his audience for granted and would be FORCED to step up his craft of storytelling and filmmaking.

You’re a Hater. This shaming tactic is used by Church ladies who have no answer to any of the facts presented to them. Unable to rebut your argument with facts, they just insult you.

If you think you can do better than Tyler Perry, Why don’t you go out and make a film.

Sure, if Shawn had two or three million dollars you’re gosh darn skippy Shawn would make a film. Would it be good? I don’t know. All I know is I’d put my best efforts towards giving the audience an entertaining story told in pictures and hope I’d meet the high standards of my novels and screenplays.

As a writer, I go out of my way to make sure that my storytelling meets a high level of quality before a book is submitted to the printer. I spend years researching to make sure even the most minute details are exactly correct when I’m revising a story. For books like The Temptation of John Haynes, I researched over a dozen corporations to learn about the day of a life of a CEO. I felt showing those little details would make the fiction more “real” to the reader when they read the story.

For a Story like A Recipe For $ucce$$, I researched everything from how bakeries run to the routines of a wedding. I studied product licensing extensively. I studied all the sides of the issue of Down Low Men so that the subject could be presented in an objective manner.

And when I write screenplays like All About Marilyn I studied the business side of Hollywood extensively. In addition to an entertaining story, I wanted to give readers a comprehensive understanding of how the entertainment industry worked.

I do all this research so the reader can immerse themselves into my world and suspend their disbelief. I know how one little detail being off can derail a reader’s imagination and take them out of the story.

I value my readers all over the world. And I value the support I get from the Black community. That’s why I try to make every effort to make sure my stories are the best quality. I want brothers and sisters to not only be entertained, but educated as well about the numerous cultures within the Black experience.

It really upsets me to watch guys like Tyler Perry take their audience for granted by offering them product that’s poor quality. I know African-Americans are starving for entertainment products featuring characters that look like themselves, but that’s no reason to take advantage of them as customers. I feel my brothers and sisters money is just as valuable as those White dollars and they deserve product that tries to meet some standard for quality. I feel Black people shouldn’t feel compelled to spend their hard-earned money on a product just because it’s made by a Black person.

I seriously wish I could compete with Tyler Perry in the film arena. I would love to adapt some of my stories and put Black actors to work at building their resume with projects that further their careers. Any project I involve myself in will be an experience where Black actors develop their existing skills and new actors work towards honing their craft. I feel everyone should come out of a Shawn James project with more skills than they had coming in.

Moreover, I’d like to produce a film where the Black viewer gets a rich multidimensional storytelling experience. I want Black viewers to see literary elements such as irony, foreshadowing and contrast. I want them to meet characters who are so rich and multilayered that they feel like real people, the kind you never forget. I feel it’s possible to entertain people and give them something that makes them think at the same time. I feel Black people deserve movies that challenge them, not pander to them.

I understand that many Black viewers are desperate to find media featuring images of themselves. And I’d like to provide them with something that stimulates their minds and inspires them to do better. 

Naked Pictures- The difference between Art Nudes and Pornography

Most Americans people see a picture of a naked body and automatically think its pornography.

It shows how narrow minded they are.

There is a clear difference between an art nude and pornography.

The goal of An Art nude tells a story or to make an artistic statement using the human body.

A photographer will use lighting, backgrounds and a model to make a statement about the human body in its natural state.

An artist will draw or paint the body with a focus on lines, color composition and form.

A sculptor who carves nude forms out of clay or stone will focus on getting an accurate representation of the lines of the human form in three dimensions.

In each of these mediums the artist focuses on showing the lines made by the body in its natural state.

The ultimate goal of most art nudes is to ensure that all the lines being drawn by the human form draw the viewer’s attention to the face of piece. The expression made in that face is the primary focal point of the piece. This is where the story is told.

Other artists will use the lines of nude models so the lines of their bodies appear like shapes. A few will use models to imitate classic pieces of art. The statement is the most important thing in these pieces.

And a handful will use live nude models to make a statement in a performance piece.

Sometimes Photographers use things such as lighting and props to make their statement or commentary.

Others use the outdoors to make a statement about the body in nature. And even more use movement to make a statement about the body in motion.

Usually there is nothing sexual about an art nude. To de-emphasize sexuality many artists will photograph in Black and White. Some painters will tone down the realism.

Sometimes a photographer will use color for a photograph, but will light in such a way that the primary focus of the photograph is the model. Again, the goal is to draw the focus of the lines of the body to the face of the model.

In extremely rare cases an artist will make a statement about sex using the nude form. Most artists prefer to avoid overtly sexual statements out of fear of having their work compared to pornography.

In between the lines of art nude and pornography are Celebrity nudes. This is where a popular or semi-popular celebrity will pose nude to generate press. Examples of this are the Demy Moore Vanity Fair cover in the 1990’s or celebrities who pose nude for Playboy Magazine.

Celebrity nudes serve two purposes: To promote whatever project a celebrity is in at the time, and to generate get people talking about a celebrity.

In most cases celebrities do nudes in the hopes of reviving a stalled career. Many of the celebrities who pose nude for Playboy Magazine usually do so to get people talking and to get press for themselves. In the entertainment industry no publicity is bad publicity, and anything that gets people talking can be used to leverage a deal for a feature film or television show that can help in the process of reviving a fading celebrities’ stalled career.

Some celebrities will do a nude for a political statement. They’ll shed their clothes this to promote a political organization like PETA.

Most nudes done by celebrities vary. Some are more on the artistic side; others are a bit more on the glamorous side playing on softer themes of sexuality. It depends on the vision the editor, the photographer and the art director agree on.

Pornography’s primary goal is to sexually titillate and sexually arouse the viewer. The primary goal of pornographic photo is to tell the story of sex. The lines of the body are not being drawn to the face of a model in pornography. The goal of pornography is to draw the eyes to the sexual organs such as a woman’s breasts or her vagina.

Male pornography focuses the viewer’s eyes primarily on the erect penis and the scrotum.

Some more hardcore pornographers will take pictures of a model’s anus in addition to pictures of their aroused genitals.

In many cases pornographic photographs segment parts of the body further objectifying a woman or a man. Instead of seeing a complete person, the photographs will focus on just breasts, vaginas, penises, scrotums and anuses. This is why many see pornography as disconnecting the person from the humanity of the sexual experience. Rarely is there ever a focus on drawing the viewer to the face in pornographic media. The goal of pornography is to disconnect the viewer from the people involved in the sexual act.

The theme of most pornographic photos is about selling sexual fantasies to the viewer. The goal of most pornography is to titillate the viewer and arouse them sexually. Models will use lingerie, as a prop in pornography or act out male fantasies such as the schoolgirl, the woman in prison, or the nurse. Again, the body will be posed in such a way to draw the most attention to the model’s genitals.

The clear difference between an art nude and pornography is that an art nude’s goal is using the lines of the natural human body to the face of the model to make a connection with the viewer and pornography is about disconnecting the viewer from the model to focus on their sexual organs. Art nudes focus on the whole body and draw the viewer to the face humanizing the subject of the medium and the statement they’re making with their body. Pornography is about focusing the viewer’s eyes directly to the sexual organs and dehumanizing the subject of the medium as an object for sexual pleasure.

Many Americans wind up confused because Madison Avenue and Hollywood blur the lines between art and pornography every day. In selling everything from soap to comic books, they exploit the American fear and shame of human sexuality to get their attention in promoting consumer products. This is why sex sells more in America than any other country. Almost all American media presents sex in association with nudity.

Many confused Americans see a nude body or partially nude body in a photograph and automatically associate it with sex. Most American advertisers think they are doing something risqué by buying something promoted in ads as sexy. Most who buy these products think by buying these products promoted as sexy and desirable will make them sexy and desirable.

The Average American is so uneducated about their own body that they constantly correlate nudity with sexuality. And that’s why most can’t tell the difference between an art nude and pornography like our European, African and Asian neighbors who can differentiate between the two.

Nudity in and of itself is not sexual. When looking at a nude always consider the context of the content. There’s a clear line between art and pornography.  

I don't go to work to be Happy

Back when I was working,  I’ve run into managers who would approach me and tell me: “You don’t look like you’re happy”  when they’d noticed the serious expression on my face.

Some would think there was something wrong with me. Some would think I had an attitude or I was sarcastic. Others would think I’m hostile. Many would project the “Angry Black Man” stereotype on me.

What most people don’t know is that off the job I’m a friendly guy. Easygoing. Even a lot of fun.

But for me work is about getting serious, not being happy.  

And I didn’t think being happy was a qualification for a job. I never saw happiness as one of the duties in the job description for any positions I applied for.

But some managers are trying to make happiness one of the qualifications for their jobs.

Let me say this: I don’t go to work to be happy. No one should.

Now I’m not a curmudgeon. I don’t have an attitude. I’m not angry or frustrated. I’m just very serious about any job I’m doing.  

When I have a stern or serious look on my face I am is focused on the task at hand.  I’m concentrating on what I’m working on.

When I’m at work I have no time to smile. I understand I’m hired to get things done. To meet goals.

More importantly, I’m hired to perform tasks that will help a company compete with other businesses.

And when a business is in competition with other businesses there’s no time for people to be happy. Business is a game of survival, companies compete to stay alive. Employees who understand that work is a place where they are paid to get things done are more productive.

When I’m on a job, the time for me to smile is pay day. That’s when I’ll get happy.

But when it’s time to work I want to keep it professional. That’s when I put my game face on. That’s how I concentrate. That’s how I focus. That’s how I compete. That’s how I do my job, providing the best whatever it is I do for someone else.

From my personal experience, it’s the people who want to be happy at work job are usually the ones who bring chaos to a workplace.

Usually these individuals reek of so much insecurity that they wind up destabilizing a business. It’s their insecurities about making people happy that causes a company to lose its direction. They’re so busy focusing on micromanaging everyone that they wind up throwing a business off course.

In their quest to be comfortable, they make everyone miserable.

And you don’t go to work to be comfortable. Because when a person is comfortable at work is when they make the most mistakes. Career ending mistakes.

People who are happy and comfortable forget they’re on a job. They don’t take their jobs seriously. They cross boundaries they shouldn't. Workers who are too at ease can lead up to a host of troubles for an employer from sexual harassment lawsuits all the way up to workplace accidents with life-threatening injuries.

Work isn’t all smiles. No one is going to be happy in a job all the time. There are going to be good days and bad days. Days that make you want to tear your hair out. Days that make you want to quit and open a peanut stand in Hawaii. But a professional employee takes each day one day at a time and does what they have to in order to get through the day.

A professional understands that work is work. That they need to establish boundaries for conduct and etiquette in the workplace. They understand that they are being paid to get things done, and their satisfaction comes from getting things done. They don’t go to work to be happy, they are happy when they’re doing their jobs to the best of their ability. 

Thoughts on The Halle Berry Baby Mama Drama

I originally planned a blog about the Halle Berry custody battle for Monday’s blog. I didn’t like it. So I scrapped it. The whole situation involving Halle Berry, her ex Gabriel Aubry and the fight they’re having over custody of her daughter Nahla…just sickens me to my stomach.

I never thought I’d see South Bronx Baby Mama Drama ever come to Hollywood.

But here it is. Pure unadulterated Niggerdom in HD for all the world to see.

Halle Berry is fighting for custody of her daughter. And she’s fighting dirty. Like a project chick with razor blades hidden under her toungue.

She wants her ex Gabriel Aubry’s blood and won’t stop until she sees him nailed to a wall skinned alive. Then she’ll castrate him and eat his testicles like raw oysters right before his eyes. Yeah, she hates her baby daddy that much.

But Mr. Gabriel Aubry has skeletons in his closet too. According to some sources, this could be a cash grab for spousal support and child support.

Whatever issues she and her ex have, I don’t care. I just wish they would stop airing their dirty laundry in public. Because it’s embarrassing to watch the first Black actress to win a Best Actress Oscar behaving like a hoodrat straight out of my South Bronx neighborhood. Here is one of our prominent Black women and she’s just acting straight GHETTO.

I’d like think a 45-year old woman would have the emotional maturity to keep things amicable for the sake of her daughter in this type of crisis. It’d be the dignified thing to do. A true display of character. But Halle Berry has such tunnel vision in her quest to malign her ex before the cameras that she doesn’t see how she’s further ruining the already tarnished image of the Black Woman in the public eye.

Halle’s crazy behavior is being broadcast all over the world. Yes, Black America’s Academy Award winning Best Actress is being shown as a vindictive foul mouthed baby mama who seeks to make her baby daddy pay for being no good and trifling.

No different from the Baby Mamas who go to family court in the inner-city denouncing Pookie Jaheem, and Ray-Ray in their quest to get paid back child support.

No different from the thugettes who attacked Rayon McIntosh at McDonald’s a few months ago.

No different from the women who fight and act crazy and post videos of it on sites like World Star Hip Hop.

If this is how one of our best Black women is shown behaving in public then the image of the Black woman all over the world is in serious trouble.

It’s a sad day when one of the top black women in the world is acting just like hoochies and hoodrats from the gutter.

Doesn’t anyone understand the reflexive properties of Institutional Racism? When one of us acts a fool in public, it reflects badly on ALL OF US.

And the way Halle Berry is reflecting badly on ALL BLACK WOMEN.

Seriously Sistas, is this how you want to be seen in the public eye? Is this what you want the world to see you as? A neck snapping foul-mouthed Sapphire who is so emasculating that no man can have anything to do with you?

Seriously, look at the subtext of the Halle Berry custody situation. Berry, one of the most beautiful Black women in the world is being presented in the media as a Sapphire, an emasculating domineering bitch who seeks to browbeat every man into submission.

And this is the same Halle Berry who has had TWO FAILED marriages. Eric Benet, Berry’s second ex-husband calls her “Halle Scary”.

And now Gabriel Aubry, a White man is being shown as the latest victim of her emasculation. The statement being written between the lines about sistas is that a Black woman is so rude, belligerent, arrogant, violent, and hostile that not  even a White man, presumed to be the most dominant and supreme man in the world can have a relationship with her.

Reinforcing the worldwide notion that the Black American Woman are the LEAST desirable of ALL women.

Black women you can all thank Halle Berry for giving Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa’s research the concrete example needed to prove his scientific theory is now fact. That the Black woman are the LEAST desirable of ALL women.

Sistas do you wonder why seventy percent of you are single? It’s because of examples of a nasty attitude like the one Halle Berry is presenting in the public eye.

Sistas you need to check this woman. And you need to check her NOW. Because her bad behavior reflects badly on YOU. Every day Halle Berry continues on using ghetto tactics in her custody battle and broadcasts them in the media further defames the image of the Black woman all over the world.

Why am I asking Other Sistas to check Halle Berry? Because it won’t have an impact unless it comes from YOU. When a woman tells another woman she’s not acting right, it puts her ON NOTICE that she’s being WATCHED by other women who are EMBARRASSED and DISGUSTED by her behavior.

Moreover, it puts it on notice that there are other Black women will not stand for such low-class behavior from each other. The reason why so many Black women act out like Halle Berry does right now is because sistas support each other in this bad behavior. They egg each other on and encourage each other to act out in public.

Sistas, you need to tell Halle Berry to stop with this nonsense. You need to tell her to take a page from dignified ladies like Michelle Obama, the late Coretta Scott King and Betty Shabazz. They understood they were role models for other Black women and were representatives of how Black women would be seen all over the world. They set a standard for manners and etiquette. I wish more sisters today would follow their example and behave with more dignity and grace instead of acting like the racist stereotypes that present the worst picture of us. 

A SEX TAPE IS PORN

I was reading the comments section of the blog when I came upon something that really disturbed me.

A reader of the Montana Fishburne-WTF? (Where’s the Fame) Wrote that Montana Fishburne was different from Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton. That Montana Fishburne starred in legit Porn and Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian starred in a sex tape.

I was appalled when I read this. Clearly someone didn’t understand what I was writing about, the reflexive properties of institutional racism on the media and how those policies shape how we perceive things as they relate to Black and White. Ironically, the reader had been brainwashed to believe the lies Hollywood and Madison Avenue wants them to believe.

This is why we have to examine the media presented to us. Because it’s the innocent looking things that can corrupt our minds. Madison Avenue and Hollywood love to sugarcoat poison and make it taste sweet.

Here’s a few facts:

Pornography is defined as images or media featuring sexual acts for the purpose of sexual titillation and arousing the viewer sexually.

Hardcore pornography features a variety of sexual acts such as fellatio, cunningulus, sexual positions, vaginal penetration, anal penetration, all usually leading up to the male’s climax where he ejaculates.

When people participate in sex acts that are recorded on camera they are making pornography. Regardless if they are a pornographic actor, a Hollywood celebrity, or Joe and Jane Schmoe in their home or a hotel room.

This is why a "sex tape" is pornography.

Montana Fishburne clearly stated she was following Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton’s footsteps to fame. Remember Paris and Kim came BEFORE Montana Fishburne.

Now as misguided as Montana Fishburne is at least she follows logic very well. She just didn’t understand how the entertainment industry works in regards to race. Which is why she won’t get the reality shows or the clothing lines. No, those privileges aren’t reserved for Black girls. Under the reflexive properties of institutional racism Black women are whores by nature.

It’s the White girls who are “innocent” and “pure”. They make “mistakes” like participating in "sex tapes" and not "legitimate pornography".

And because many in America don’t understand the institutional racism behind White privilege, they’re being brainwashed to believe that Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are totally different than Montana Fishburne because the “innocent” White girls participated in a “mistake” “sex tape” that was “leaked” while Montana Fishburne, the Black Jezebel intentionally participated in "legitimate"  hardcore pornography.

This is why most in America think it’s okay to reward “innocent” Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian with fame, reality shows and clothing lines. And why it’s okay to denounce Montana Fishburne as a whore.

In reality all three women participated in  pornography.

While Montana Fishburne’s pornography was depicted as disgusting and immoral, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian’s pornography was validated and legitimized by American society, dressed up with ribbons, bows and sugarcoated to look harmless.

Here’s the $1trillion Question? Which one is more dangerous to society?

If you said Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton you’d be a very rich person.

While most would avoid Montana Fishburne’s pornographic movie because it’s clearly packaged as pornography, the sugarcoating, ribbons and bows on the Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton porn hide the cyanide with a sweet taste. The American consumer has no idea what long-term damage is being done to their minds of themselves and their children. No, they ignorantly let their kids sit in front of these whores TV shows and let them buy their products not knowing how they’re being fed an insidious message by Madison Avenue and Hollywood.

Read between the lines of the Kim Kardashians, and Paris Hiltons. The Madison Avenue spin doctors have packaged things up to sell pornography as something harmless and cute to the American public. Besides if “innocent” and “pure” White girls are making sex tapes then it must be okay for everyone to make sex tapes?

This is why Montana Fishburne thought pornography was the fast track to fame.

It’s also why many young girls now think that pornography will get them attention as well. Many girls as young as fourteen are recording videos of themselves performing various sex acts and posting them to websites like World Star Hip Hop in the hopes of gaining Twitter followers, Facebook likes and eventually fame like their role models Paris and Kim.

The kids think they’re just making “sex tapes” Like Paris and Kim.

They have no idea that they’re participating in child pornography.

The person goes on to say they’d never buy a product endorsed by a porn star.  I’m sorry but if you watched the Simple Life or Keeping Up with the Kardashians, you participated in supporting a pornographic performer’s work. If you buy clothes from the Kardashian Kollection or any product from Paris Hilton’s perfume or clothing line you just supported a product endorsed by a porn star.

Seriously, what are these ladies famous for? Acting? Singing? Theater? Can someone name a memorable role film role or record Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian starred in?

No, the only way most know these celebrities is through their pornographic videos and the reality shows they starred in as a result of the fame from those movies.

And if it weren’t for the attention their bodies got them no one would pay attention to them.

So many Americans have no idea how Hollywood and Madison Avenue have repackaged pornography over the past two decades. The subtle and insidious ways they’ve slipped sexual imagery into media are a way to brainwash people into believing that pornography is harmless.

Children who are being brainwashed to believe that participating in pornography will put them on a fast track to fame and fortune. That the “sex tapes” they put on places like World Star Hip Hop today won’t hurt them ten years from now when they become adults.

What these poor kids don’t know is that once something winds up on the Internet, it’s there virtually forever. If it’s not on the original site uploaded, it’s probably been recorded by users with RealPlayer and reposted elsewhere. All over the world. There are literally thousands of sites and mirror sites out there. The average middle class person doesn’t have the resources or the time to spend fighting everyone in court.

Unlike Paris and Kim, the average person doesn’t have the money to make their youthful indiscretions go away. Nor do they have the Madison Avenue and Hollywood connections to glamorize them into celebrity status. For most of us a “sex tape” will reflect negatively against our character when we go looking for jobs or want to make friends. In this information age, when someone Googles a name and some other variables like a high school or a college all the stuff that we do positively or negatively will pop up on a search.

Including those “Sex Tapes.”

Which is why for all intents and purposes “sex tapes” are pornography. Don’t let the spin doctors fool you into believing anything different.  If you're having sex in front of a camera you are making pornography.