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Friday, March 7, 2014

The Double Standards of Black Women


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I recently got a comment from a reader saying that she wouldn’t buy my books because of the blogs I write about Black women and how inflammatory they are.

I find it interesting that a Black woman will hold her dollars regarding a Black man who makes statements in blogs written to help her, but will spend those exact same dollars to support the work of Black males who insult her.

The same Black women who are offended by my blogs will go out of their way to buy a rap album where a gangsta rapper calls them bitch and hoe in almost every lyric. Some will stand in line and wait for hours to buy tickets for these rappers. There’s no threat of boycotting the products of a with a Lil’ Wayne, Gucci Mane or any other Gangsta rapper who pretty much insults and degrades Black women in his lyrics or onstage at his concerts.

But when Shawn James uses those same words in the proper context to describe the behavior of a dysfunctional Black woman, Black women get so offended they threaten not to buy his books. Books that present her in a positive light.

The same Black women who are offended by my blogs will go out of their way to watch rap music videos on MTV and BET where scantily clad Black women shake their behinds onscreen all day long.

But when Shawn James writes a blog explaining why the behavior of those Black women reinforces the Jezebel stereotype, Black women get so offended they want to boycott his books. Books that present her in a positive light.

The same Black women who are offended by my blogs will go out of their way to spend money on poorly written Street Lit and Erotica by writers like Zane, Deja King and Terri Woods. which features them scantily clad and half-naked on the cover and where they are practically called bitch and hoe in every sentence. Some even use Bitch and Hoe on the title like Bitch Series, and the Silver Platter Hoe series.

But when Shawn James uses those same words in the proper context to describe the behavior of Black women in a blog who are sexually promiscuous, Black women get so offended they refuse to buy his books. Books that present her in a positive light.

The same Black women who are offended by my blogs will go out of their way to spend their money watch a Tyler Perry movie where he presents them as victims of abuse, presents images of them in coonish stereotypes, and makes fun of them by featuring a Black man in a dress who mocks them in a caricature of their behavior.

But when Shawn James presents books like A Recipe For $ucce$$, The Thetas, or All About Marilyn which presents the Black woman in a positive light, they refuse to support it. All because they’re offended by a blog. A blog telling the Black woman how Black men who love and care about her actually see her.

The same Black women offended by my blogs will go out of their way to spend money watching a Lee Daniels movie which presents them as whores like Monster’s Ball and Po’ and miserable victims like Precious.

But when Shawn James presents books like A Recipe For $ucce$$, The Thetas, or All About Marilyn which presents the Black woman in a positive light, they refuse to support it. All because they’re offended by something written a blog.

The same Black women who are offended by my blogs will go out of their way to spend their Thursday Nights supporting a TV Show like Scandal that degrades them and presents them as a White man’s whore. Some Black women even have PARTIES to watch this show.

But When Shawn James tells a Black woman the truth about what happens to a Side Piece in real life they threaten to not buy his books. Books that again, present the Black woman in a positive light.

And when he counterprograms those images with images featuring humanized images of Black women like Cassandra Lee, Colleen Anderson and Marilyn Marie, they don’t want to buy it.

The same Black women who are offended by my blogs will spend their time watching reality shows like Love & Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, and the Real Housewives where they are depicted as loud, overbearing, foul mouthed ignorant mammies and coons. Women who call THEMSELVES Bitches and Hoes and call other women Bitches and Hoes.

But when Shawn James writes a blog, talking about the SILENCE of Black women on serious issues pertaining to her, they threaten not to buy his books.

The same Black women who are offended by my blogs criticizing their irresponsible and egregious behavior will go out of their way to watch Twerk and fighting videos on YouTube and WorldStarHipHop which present the Black woman again as loud, foul-mouthed, violent and ignorant. Again, Women who call THEMSELVES Bitches and Hoes and call other women bitches and hoes.

Yet When Shawn James presents the truth to the Black woman about how the world really sees her, she threatens to boycott his books. Books that present her as intelligent, graceful and ladylike.

The Same Black women who are offended by my blogs will watch talk shows like Maury Povich and The Test which present the Black woman as so sexually irresponsible that she doesn’t even know who her children’s father is.

But when Shawn James tells her why Real Men avoid single mothers she threatens not to buy his books. And when Shawn James writes books featuring a Black father in them, like All About Nikki and The Thetas some Black women get upset at I’d have the gall to present a Black father in a positive light.

Today’s American Black woman has a double standard when it comes to Black men. The Black males who mock her, ridicule her and insult her she supports unconditionally. But the Black men who constructively criticize her and tell her that her behavior is out of line she promises to punish them by withholding her economic support.

I have to wonder if the Black community is Bizarro World. Black women pay people like Lil’ Wayne, Tyler Perry, Shondra Rhimes, and Lee Daniels to slap her in the face, but the man who wants to help them they refuse to offer him a red cent.

Shawn James tells the Black woman the truth about herself and she calls him a Misogynist. But in the same breath she praises men like Lil’ Wayne, Tyler Perry, Steve Harvey and Lee Daniels who mock and ridicule her every day.

Shawn understands Black women praise Steve Harvey, Tyler Perry, Lil’ Wayne and Lee Daniels because they tell them what they want to hear. But they get offended by Shawn James because he tells her what she needs to know.

The Black woman says to me she’ll buy my books. Only if I agree to her terms. If I remain silent about her irresponsible, egregious and reprehensible behavior and I don’t hold her accountable, she’ll support me.

I’m sorry that’s a compromise I refuse to make. One day I have to answer to God for my actions. And He wouldn’t be pleased with me if I didn’t make an effort to tell Black women the truth so they could get right with Him. In His word He says those who remain silent will be beaten with more stripes for being silent.

I have a question to ask all those offended Black women? Who cares about you more? The man who tells you what you want to hear? Or the man who tells you what you need to know?

The way I see it the man who tells you what you need to know is the one who truly loves and cares about Black women. And the reason why I tell Black women what they need to know is so they can be better women.

It takes INTEGRITY and CHARACTER for a MAN to tell a woman what they need to know. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS to do what is RIGHT not what’s POPULAR. Men who LOVE and CARE about Black women want them to hear the TRUTH so they can make decisions that will improve their lives.

Is the truth harsh? YES? Is it painful? YES. At STRIVE we helped the worst people such as ex-offenders, drug addicts and single mothers WAKE UP by telling them the TRUTH. And after we told them the TRUTH about themselves, they were GRATEFUL to hear it. Because they got out of the gutter and took their lives to the next level.

But today’s Black woman wants someone to sugarcoat things. To tell her what she wants to hear. To coddle and SPOIL HER. For someone who claims to be strong and independent, today’s Black woman lacks the STRENGTH of CHARACTER to take the constructive criticism and take responsibility for their lives.

So they go along with the enablers who make excuses for them. Calling them good men and calling men like myself misogynists. But this is par for the course for women who didn’t have their fathers in their lives. Who have no idea what manhood or even womanhood truly is.

Black women the Bitch-Made™ males who tell you what you want to hear like Tyler Perry, Steve Harvey, and Lee Daniels are COWARDS. They lack the BACKBONE OR the BALLS to stand up to you. Which is why they won’t STAND WITH YOU. These enablers will make excuses for you, then be the FIRST to RUN when trouble comes. The FIRST to QUIT when things get HARD.


Black women, you may not support my books but I still support you. You may not appreciate what I’m telling you now, but one of these days when you wake up you’ll look back and say a MAN told you what the real deal was. Unlike you, Black woman my support does not come with strings.

14 comments:

  1. good effort, but mostly a waste of time.

    the sisters today are so psychologically and spiritually corrupted that only those who trash, insult, degrade, use and abuse her get her respect.

    anybody else trying to do right: they will destroy - especially if it is a black man.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sadly I'm starting to see that as truth. In my exchanges with Black women, it seems they look for reasons to hate a Black man who wants to help them, and support the very men who slap them in the face.

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  3. We will agree to disagree.

    Obviously, you just want to argue. And it's clear from your circular ad-hominem attacks that you have some sort of issue.

    Just gonna delete your comments from here on in and move on. My time is too valuable to spend arguing with you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shawn,

    I've noticed a pattern of Black women severely criticizing Black men who only want to help Black women to see that racist American society views us. When non-Blacks say things about us, we give those men the benefit of the doubt, whereas Brothas like you and Harvey warn us Sistas about how mainstream America use and abuse Black women without consequence.

    Yes, I do see double standards in how Sistas react to criticism from Black men. They can't take it and yet, we take abuse from white men and women with little or no reaction.

    What are your thoughts on my perspective?

    La Reyna

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  5. La Reyna:

    I noticed the same pattern. Non-Blacks can say whatever they want about a Black woman and she'll take the criticism, but when Black men give the same Black woman constructive criticism, they get offended. Some even attack the Black men.


    I also notice that Black women will sit there and take abuse all day long from men like thugs and bad boys and won't protest. But when intelligent Black men point out an issue, there's an effort to censor them.

    I wrote this blog after being threatened by a Black woman for writing "offensive" content on my blog. Yet these same Black females will endure all sorts of insults from men like gangsta rappers, Lee Daniels and Tyler Perry and pay them to disrepect them. But the man trying to help them they threaten with economic boycott. Crazy!

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  6. There isn't much difference between the rap music and this blog except that rappers aren't delusional enough to think that they're somehow being helpful by degrading and insulting Black women or try to label it as "constructive criticism". Black women aren't a monolith-- we don't all think and behave in the same manner so any attempt to try and tell Black women everywhere what their problems are (be it from a Black person or any OTHER race) is ridiculous. Besides that, I'm over this racial unity sh--. I don't owe a Black man my support just because he's Black; if there's merit and it's good work, I support, if it's not, I don't. Just because you find value in your own work (who doesn't?), doesn't mean others will.

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  7. Another one of these "individualized" Black folks. Ask OJ Simpson how that worked out for him.

    If you don't stand with other brothers and sisters, you will FALL on your own. It's easy for the White Supremacist sniper to take you out in a crowd of white faces.

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  8. "Besides that, I'm over this racial unity sh--"

    And That's why are race is headed for genocide and extinction. Majority of black women have mental illness

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  9. Mental illness brought on by black men!!!

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  10. OJ Simpson was not "individualized"; he did everything he could to be a part of White people's world and only when he was faced with murder charges did he turn to Black people for support. As soon as he was free, he went back to his White world.

    I don't feel the need to be a part of White people's world any more than I feel the need to support someone else just because we're both Black. The Diaspora is HUGE. In America alone there's diversity among us in terms of heritage/culture. (Tell a Black person from Louisiana that they're culture is the same as a Black person from California, I guarantee you the response won't be pleasant). How can we reasonably expect to be united on everything be it politics, art, education, religion, or whatever? It's stupid to even suggest something like that and yet, we are the only race who thinks that anyone that doesn't go along with what they THINK every other Black person believes in has a 'mental illness'.

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  11. Individuals take a ride in the Bronco just like the Juice did 20 years ago.

    Again, another circular argument that has nothing to do with Black women's double standards. How they refuse to support anything positive in the Black community but will make every effort to put money into people who are working to their detriment.

    The individualized negro who doesn't think they have to support their fellow Black man or woman is someone who will fall to the ground broken and shattered. You may not agree with this but all one has to do is look at where OJ is today to see what happens to an individualized Negro. Picked off by White Supremacist snipers.

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  12. In White people's world OJ Simpson was an individual. That left him vulnerable and a target that was easy to pick off.


    Black people are the only people who do not work together unless it's for some self-destructive purpose like the ones I outlined in this blog. If you promote destructive ideas like those in Street lit, Tyler Perry movies or other dysfunctional media like Scandal Black women are behind it one hundred percent.

    In all other constructive cases, the Negro wants to be an individual. Not understanding the lessons learned from OJ Simpson. He was his own man. But the world judged him as a BLACK man. And because he had NO SUPPORT from Black people in 2007 or so he wound up being a BROKEN MAN. Because when you are an individual with NO SUPPORT, nonblack people let you fall to be SHATTERED into a million pieces.

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  13. Anonymous is likely lesbian, no kids. As far as individualized Negros.. They are easy to pick off when they don't have full support of the black community, but when they do they're untouchable, like James Brown

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  14. Oh yeah...James Brown...the wife beater...great example.

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