There are women who willingly choose to pursue affairs with men who are either married or are already in committed relationships with someone else. Some people call these women mistresses. But Shawn calls them Side Pieces.
For most men, a side piece is a woman who is in between a prostitute and a girlfriend. She’s a woman he goes to get some ass when his wife won’t have sex with him. Or someone he goes to go where he can get sexual acts performed on him that his wife won’t do like oral sex, anal sex, bondage, S&M, role playing or other fetishes.
And for a few others, she’s someone he goes to get away from a nagging or contentious wife who verbally abuses him. A voice of reason that will listen to him. Someone who he thinks appreciates him for who he is. Someone who he thinks won’t take him for granted. The relationship between a man and his Side Piece can be either very cold or very close depending on what man a woman gets involved with.
No matter how intimate the relationship is it’s still cheating.
How does a woman become a Side Piece? Some become side pieces by hanging out with their best friend’s husband or their husband’s sister. Others by working closely with a boss or a co-worker. A few by meeting in a bar, a club or some other social event. And some are just gold diggers who go out looking for married men to have relationships with. People talk, hang out, and form a connection with other. The chemistry swirls and…Soon boundaries are broken and they wind up in a relationship with someone other than their wife or girlfriend. But usually the “other woman” knows that the man she’s involved with is taken.
And she still chooses to pursue him. Either way, a ho is still a ho.
Usually in exchange for her time (and her body), most men offer the Side Piece money, or things like houses, cars, shoes or clothes. Because these exchanges of gifts for sex are within the confines of a relationship it’s not considered prostitution. And technically it isn’t. But both parties usually know they’re in the wrong.
Most men justify having a Side Piece by saying it’s complicated. Others by saying she’s cheaper to keep than a prostitute. And a few justify it by saying it’s a lot cleaner because they know that the woman they’re getting involved with is usually drug and disease free. And that’s true, if that woman isn’t sleeping around with other men.
Even some wives justify their husband having a Side Piece because they feel that they know where he is and who he’s sleeping with. These are usually older established women indifferent to their husband’s affairs. At their age they know that relationships with Side Pieces are often short-term, not long-term and are often no threat to their financial security. In most cases a man will never leave his wife for a mistress. It’s just cheaper to keep the wife than to divorce her and break up his home.
Even though being a side piece is considered immoral there are some unwritten rules for women to follow in engaging in sex with another woman’s man or her husband. These rules include:
Knowing that the risk for veneral disease is HIGH. As A Side Piece, you are sleeping with a man who is sleeping with another woman. And maybe he’s sleeping with someone else.
Compound this to the men the Side Piece is sleeping with (On the Side) and there’s a lot of other people’s penises going into other people’s vaginas. So even with condoms, the chances of catching a veneral disease are higher than in a committed relationship.
Understanding this is a short-term thing The Side piece relationship is usually a short-term thing. While a few men have relationships with their mistresses for years, this is the exception, not the rule. Most guys who get involved with a Side Piece just go to her to work through some problems, get their nut off a couple of times and move on to the next woman. Or they go back to their wives or girlfriends. So women who choose to become a side piece shouldn’t go into it looking for commitment.
Knowing that the relationship can end at any time for any reason. A woman who agrees to become a Side Piece has to understand that it’s usually all about sex for the man they’re involved with. This is why a woman shouldn’t get too comfortable with any man she’s having an affair with. Don’t get accustomed to the gifts, the money or even the dick. It can end at any time for any reason.
Knowing that he has no emotional connection to you. One of the big mistakes women make when agreeing to become Side Pieces is getting emotionally attached to the men they involve themselves with. Because most women invest their emotions into sexual relationships, they don’t understand that men who are using them as side pussy are only interested in what’s between their legs, not what’s between their ears. Most of these guys tune you out when you’re talking.
Knowing if he says he loves you he’s FULL OF SHIT. If you’re a Side Piece and a man says he loves you, chances are that he’s lying. Or he’s just a Simp strung out on pussy. But once the magic spell of the coochie wears off on him, he’ll realize he wasn’t in love with you. He was just in love with getting in your panties. Don’t fall for the game. This relationship is still all business for him.
Know that all promises made to you mean NOTHING. Some women think that a man has to adhere to his promises to buy them gifts when they’re a Side Piece. What they don’t understand is that because they’re in an illegal or immoral relationship, he doesn’t have to do anything for her. So all of his promises are Null and Void the minute he says them. Once he gets the pussy he can walk out and give you NOTHING.
Any woman who agrees on a Side Piece needs to understand: You are only there to provide sex for him. And if you provide sex to him and he doesn’t give you anything…Well, that’s on YOU. That’s why seasoned hoes are smart enough to know to get their jewelry, clothes, and cash up front before dropping their panties.
Get the money up front. A Side Piece, or a Mistress is just another Ho at the end of the day. The only difference is that instead of turning tricks with multiple men you’re exchanging pussy for cash and gifts with one man exclusively. And if you’re going to be an exclusive Ho to one trick stop playing around and get the money up front like professional escorts do. If you’re going to put a price tag on your vagina, then get top dollar for it.
Feeling bad when people call you a HO. If the shoe fits, then it belongs on your foot. Don’t feel bad
when people call you a Ho. Just because
you’re exchanging sex for cash and gifts with one man doesn’t make you less of
a prostitute. Because basically you’re doing the same job hookers do on the street corner or at the escort service. Only you probably get paid a lot less.
He is not taking care of you. He is taking care of his access to pussy. Some Side pieces think that because their men put them up in homes or apartments that they're being taken care of.
WRONG.
He is taking care of his access to pussy by putting you on retainer. That apartment he's putting you up in, those clothes he's buying you and that luxury car he's letting you drive are all a way to maintain access to what's between your legs. He's given you a lifestyle upgrade so he can have a woman who will be ready to have sex with him whenever he wants and who will do whatever he wants.
Not understanding that this is sex on demand. As a Side piece you are agreeing to be his exclusive POD (Pussy on Demand) on call ready to serve him ass 24 hours a day, seven days a week. So if he calls at 2 AM and wants some ass it’s your job to give it to him when he shows up at 2:55. If you're going to be a Side Piece, just make sure to keep your vagina fresh and clean. Take plenty of baths and keep your body tight by going to the gym. Do Kegel exercises every day. Because you never know when you'll be called up to serve up the poontang pie.
Even though his wife knows you’re involved with him it doesn’t mean you’re in an esteemed place. Some Side pieces think because the wife or the girlfriend knows about the affair that things are fine. That it gives the relationship some semblance of normality.
It doesn’t change the fact that you’re still a ho at the end of the day.
Some wives resign themselves to affairs because they have other emotional investments like their kids and don’t want to put them through the drama and stress of a divorce. Others have large financial investments in their husbands’ job or business and would just rather wait for him to die to get the estate. And a few have another man as their Side Action and are getting their pussies pounded by him instead of their husbands. She doesn’t mind because you don’t matter.
Knowing all his promises to leave his wife are BULLSHIT. Some of the more Simpish men who have Side Pieces often promise to leave their wives to string them along in the hopes of keeping the free supply of pussy flowing.
These promises are nothing but LIES.
He’s never leaving his wife. And he has no reason to. Why? This is what you signed up for when you agreed to become his Side Peice. The terms and conditions of that agreement were for sex, not love.
Knowing a Side Piece will never become a Wife. Another common mistake women make in becoming a Side piece is investing in the delusion that one day he’ll leave his wife and marry her.
Sorry, but that’s not going to happen. EVER. He is NEVER going to put a ring on your finger.
Women who agree to become the Side Piece are usually relegated to that position PERMANENTLY. Now there may be a few thirsty Simps who do divorce their wives and marry their mistresses, but it’s extremely rare. A woman can wait for YEARS for a man to leave his wife pining for a more permanent relationship with him, but it’s just wasting their time.
Most men who have a side Piece has her there for gratifying his sexual needs. And if he’s getting pussy from the Side woman for free while he’s married then what incentive does he have to put a ring on the Side Woman’s finger? Why would he be STUPID enough to make the Side Woman his wife when he already has her giving him free, no-strings pussy as his mistress?
Getting pregnant doesn’t get you anything but 18 years of misery. Some of the more emotionally attached Side pieces try to force a commitment to their men by getting pregnant. They think he’ll leave whoever he’s involved with to go be with her to take care of the baby.
Stupid hoes.
When a woman signs up to be a Side Piece she needs to understand she is signing on for a TEMPORARY
SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. And in that relationship all you’re going to get is FUCKED. No amount of children you have for him will make him COMMIT TO YOU. At the end of any pregnancy, all a Side Piece is going to be stuck with is a kid that looks like the man they had an affair with, and 18 years of headaches trying to get that man to have a relationship with that child and her.
Getting upset when he cheats on you. Some Side pieces who become emotionally invested in men get upset when they find out they’re not the only one he’s seeing. Yes, there are cases where a man cheats on the woman he’s cheating with…With another woman!
And on finding out about the cheating, these women just lose it. Not understanding that Karma is kicking her in the clitoris. Seriously, why get upset? This is his nature. If he’s cheating with you, chances are he’s gonna cheat on you.
Telling his wife or girlfriend will not change the fact that you’re a HO. Some women who become frustrated about being a Side Piece try to escalate the relationship into a deeper commitment. When that fails, they threaten to tell the girlfriend or wife. And when they do tell the girlfriend or wife they expect sympathy. Then they get upset when they don’t get any.
They don’t deserve any. In fact they deserve any tounge lashing or ass whooping given to them. You deserve it. Why?
BECAUSE YOU ARE A HO.
At the end of the day you are still having an affair with someone else’s man. You were the one exchanging your vagina for gifts, trips and cash.
And the only reason you told on him wasn’t about redemption or atonement. It was spite pure and simple. You’re just mad that the man you got involved with won’t commit to you the way he does his wife or his girlfriend.
And why should he? He never agreed to commit to you. You agreed to be the Side Piece. And a Side Piece relationship is no strings, no contracts, and no commitment. You can be dropped at any time for any reason.
When a woman agrees to become a Side Piece to a man she has to understand that she sells herself short. All she’s reducing her value down to is what she can get in exchange for vagina. No man is going to respect you. No man is going to commit to you. No man is going to care about you. Because if you make yourself into a ho, there’s no way he’s going to want you to be his housewife.
Your article reflects the power a sidepiece has. The venom in the tone of your writing reflects your inner pain and hurt. Did this happen to you at some point? I think yes. Did a sidepiece kick "your" ass and take numbers, perferably your boyfriend's and he liked it so much he never returned, at least to your side? Get over it. If he truly cared and was so devoted to you in the first place nothing or no one could have detracted or taken him away from you. Tsk, tsk, grow a pair.
ReplyDeleteYou can stop with the shaming language. I've been single for the past 25 years. No Sidepeice ever kicked my ass.
ReplyDeleteBut I've seen many a woman get their ass kicked by being the side piece. Life passes them by as they wait for Mr.Simp to...Leave his wife or girlfriend....AND IT NEVER HAPPENS.
Life is too short to be some man's side piece. Why be someone's side dish when you can be the main course?
Sounds like someone is just butthurt about hearing the truth about side peices, or has been a side peice themselves. Watching too much of that Scandal Thinking they'll be Oliva Dope.
It never ends well
I agree with this article...however my question is what does the woman do who's been dealing with the man who cheats with a Hoe. she knows I exist because she's the one who contacted me I get so confused because I would have never have known he was cheating because he's so good at home. we have a great sex life he pays bills we do family vacationsI just don't get it
DeleteI am a side piece and I dont really care for him if he calls me good and if he doesnt good as well. I like his company, his sex is ok, but thats all. he comes to me I dont go to him, sadly his girl friend isnt enough woman to keep him awa from me, it happens, no hard feelins
ReplyDeleteYou are a Hoe !!!! Lol
DeleteDumpster diving for some dick. Damn...Just Damn.
ReplyDeleteGet your own man instead of taking some other woman's leftovers. Once you wind up in the HOE Category men have nothing to do with you.
Then when you're 35 and 40 you wind up in the slut graveyard known as online dating. Again, Get out of the garbage can and get your own man. Life is too short to waste it being a man's second choice. If you ain't Number one let the relationship be done.
James what u say is not at all true. Everyone that cheat don't cheat because of sex. Be fir real. Hell these days u can get it for free. Some married do leave. In lots of marriages people do have problems. People cheat for all different kinds of reasons. It doesn't mean u a hoe. Men cheat cause there wives let them. Men cheat cause they wont. When the man cheats then I guess he's a hoe also.
ReplyDeleteThat's a deflection The piece was not about how or why men cheat. I am discussing what women don't understand about being a Side Piece.
ReplyDeleteYou are a Hoe if you cheat plain and simple. If you are having sex with a married man you are a giving up ass in exchange for something. That's called prostitution. That makes a woman a Hoe.
The men who cheat with women are Whoremongers and adulterers. If anything these SIMPS are paying for pussy.
i am 22 shawn and my married boyfriend is 35 years old i have involved sexually & emotionally with him but he has involved only sexually. he is egoistic he said me his prostitute , bitch even he beats when we have
ReplyDeletesex. How How can i avoid him i am in his control
You got yourself into this, you can get yourself out of it. If you cut off all contact with him he'll find another place to stick his dick in.
ReplyDeleteThe question is: Will you have the backbone and the resolve to not contact him again?
Omg. Here I was beginning a search for "what do men think of nurses" when google surggested that "what do men think of mistresses" (thanks google) and I stumbled on your article after curiousity got the better of me. Despite never being a side-piece I think you obviously have some very deep seated issues over cheating. Most people will experience cheating at some stage in their lives, and it hurts, but you get over it, you don't hang on to such destructive emotions. I know you think you're helping people out by making them see the wrong in their ways, but nobody is going to respond to someone who obviously has issues.
ReplyDeleteDo yourself a favour and see a mental health professional. You are going to struggle with healthy relationships otherwise, you seem insecure and seem to have trust issues.
Obviously I'm dealing with someone who is really young. If you start out a sentence with OMG it speaks volumes about how young you actually are.
ReplyDeleteMost people don't experience cheating over the course of their lives. And when they do, they charge those people to the game.
I don't have any issues, I just speak the truth. It's obvious to me that you lack the maturity to understand how dysfunctional these women are who think they have to cheat in order to have a relationship with a man.
Many women have such low self-esteem they think being a side piece is a viable option for a relationship. Ironically, they wind up putting themselves in a stituation that leaves them single for the rest of their lives. Once you become a Side Piece men put you in the Hoe category. And once you're in the Hoe category no man is going to consider you marriage material. If a woman will cheat with you, she will cheat ON YOU.
Trust is earned, and if a woman can't show she's trustworthy enough from minute one, most men won't want anything to do with her outside of a jumpoff/One Night stand situation.
I love u Shawn. Thanks for putting all these idiots in check. Infidelity hurts.
Deletewell I live in pen house and my man pay for it every month. And he is married and we been together for 15 yrs, and I love it
ReplyDeletethis pussy must be good he is still here with me. And he pay my bills. If he leave me tomorrow so what I still can carry on because I make good money. I have a good paying job. And for the record I'am not a hoe. Just got a good man that takes care of me and his wife. sorry it did not work out for you don't be mad with the world. get a life.
and another thing his wife is happy and I'm happy he must be happy he got two ladies. And he take care of us. so what. And I also have safe sex with him I don't do head's I don't know about his wife and really don't care. I just know what I do and don't with him ok. we be together all the time and we do go out his wife is the stay home type she don't like to go. I know her but she don't know me and have seen her face to face. so she is happy and I'm happy that's all matter and I'm sure he is happy I don't have a gun on him telling him he got to stay with me. he is free he can go whenever he want too and the same here. And as for now I'm here to stay until the end. if he leave that we'll be the end I will just move on. And hope he will do the same. My heart want be broken because I'm a strong black queen. And black woman do rock. She got paper on him I don't and that's a good thing I can do as I please and that's what I like. I'm very happy with what I do and got class with it. and on top of that MONEY(:
ReplyDeleteSomeone is in denial.
ReplyDeleteIf you're sleeping with another woman's husband then yeah, YOU ARE A HOE.
I love how she calls herself a strong Black queen yet she's having an affair with a married man- Don't you just love the contradictions here?
I don't even have to write responses. These Side Pieces do the job for me in showing why you DON'T want to be a Side Piece. The last two responses pretty much make my case for me.
First of all I'm a strong black women. because#1.I don't sleep around for free no matter if he is married or not. That what a man is for to take care of his women and make sure she is well taken care of who want a man in her life if he is not doing nothing for her but just sticking it in and never putting nothing out. A wife can also be a hoe if he is not doing nothing for her but just sticking it in and putting nothing out like taking care of her and the bills ha she wouldn't want him unless she is a weak black women and don't want nothing out of life you only live once so why not make the best of it I know I'm. you can call me a hoe but better yet at the end of the day I'm well taken care of from this married man he is good to me.I will not ask him or talk about him leaving his wife. I'm happy just the way it is.
ReplyDeletecont- yes you got some men want marry their side kick so you call us. But some do merry us. He have told me many of times he care for his wife but he's not in love with her anymore. and we spend a lot of time together. and it's not about sex because we be together a lot and don't have sex we go out and have fun. And he still give me money and do things for me and I don't even have to ask he just gives it to me. he show me he has feeling in a good way and he has also told me that he love me for me and nothing else he shows me that he loves me and he has said once he wanted us to be together. last weekend we spent all day and all night together and he went home the next day. he stayed out on his wife with me and it's not the first time. I'm single and I stay by myself what I got to lose nothing. So that show you he is not happy with his wife. he's not leaving she is not leaving so she just going to deal with it or go. He also said they are roommates. and that sound about right. because he be with me everyday when he get off work and go home about 12:00 at night. So I guest he like being with me because he can go and be with someone else he don't have to spend his time with me but he do. Just remember all married men are not the same you got good and the bad. I'm lucky I have a good one. I know it's wrong going with a married man but, it is what it is. I have a friend who was married for 20 yrs. and she got a divorce while still living with her husband and he didn't know that they were divorced until 6 months later and a co-worker told him he seen it in the news paper that was cold but it is what it is now he moved out and went on by his business he was hurt at first but he got over it was she a hoe? She fined someone else and she didn't love her husband anymore and she wanted out and he said know and she went on and did what she had to do get a divorce. and that's what she did. I guess you will say she was a side piece too huh. well for the record they are still together. A hand up for my friend and her new lover. shawn get u a side piece you will love us you will fall in love that's if you get a good one. this book will sell million$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
ReplyDelete"high class side piece" we kick ass take names get your money and your man and live good. we got to be taking care of just like the wife if not he got to go. no cheap queen here. We don't sell our body for money we just got good men's and they give us money and they make sure we are well taken care of that what all men's should do if you the side piece are whatever you may be to him he still should take care of his whatever she may be to him. I don't mess with cheap men I don't have the time. because I'm not one of them cheaper to keeper .
ReplyDeleteand think you for making my day I'm at work you keep me from falling to sleep I will get off at 6:00 this Friday morning and it is 5:41 don't have long. I'm not mad I just love you. I will be checking out some of your books
ReplyDeleteand good luck to you.
What do you do when you find out your man is cheating?
ReplyDeleteFirst, get yourself an HIV test and a test for VD. There's a lot of vaginas and penises going into each other raw. So you want to make sure you're not running around with some veneral disease, or worse HIV.
Second, Divorce his ass and get paid up front. The courts will see things in your favor. His wallet will be 10 pounds lighter after you divorce him,
Or you can go the long road and wait for him to die and get all the stuff. This is the way to go if you've got kids and you don't want to upset your happy home. But eventually, resentment and bitterness will set in. But your best option is divorce.
But if you don't want to break up your home, just go along. These side piece relationships are just par for the course. And most times they're just temporary.
A man having a Side Piece is usually It's not about you. Guys who have side pieces are only in it for the pussy and the power they feel they're having over that other woman because she's offering him sex. It's more about ego than anything else. These women are offering up the ass so he's gonna take it. It makes him feel like a man.
some use safe sex some of them don't. And some will eat the pussy up. but want to put on a rubber when they get ready to have sex. That part I don't understand. I'm taking about married men. This has happen to me once with a married man.
ReplyDeleteStill you want to go get tested. If he's doing oral raw, there's a BIG chance for transmitting VD.
ReplyDeleteMarried dudes think eating the poontang won't give them VD, but you can get VD through oral sex. VD can be transmitted orally or vaginally. Always smart to get tested for VD even if you're married. Best way to find out if you have something.
most every married and none married men's cheat. The rich, middle class the poor all race doing good or bad they all cheat the bottom line.
ReplyDeleteyes, I do agree they all cheat so true
ReplyDeleteNever cheated on a woman in my life. The way I see it it's not worth the time. Sounds like you just run into the wrong types of dudes.
ReplyDeleteYou keep mentioning things like cash, trips, cars, gifts and so on. What about the Side Piece who pays all her own bills/loans/rent, takes *him* out to dinner/buys him things, and just honestly cares for and greatly enjoys sex with the man? In other words, a friends with benefits deal.
ReplyDeleteJust curious about what you'd think, since it seems you believe all mistresses are gold diggers for some reason.
So you're just here for the sex? Good Gravy.
ReplyDeleteYou may see a relationship but the guys at the end of the day just see it as ass and cash.
What you call friends with benefits you're paying for the spare dick? is called TRICKIN at the end of the day. Damn, if you gotta pay for ass man or woman, that's SAD.
Just like the Male Simp tricks money off to the side peice for pussy on Demand, the female Simp tricks money of to Male Hoes for Penis on demand. Again, at the end of the day it's still TRICKIN.
Amen!
DeleteShawn James self appointed high and mighty one. who the hell are you to judge and condemn people. I have been having sex with a married man for 2 years and I love it. I would never want him as a full time partner. he is my dick and yeah he pays me. am I a prostitute?? who isn't? who cares. if I was you I would be more concerned about using words like HOE. you sound like a 16 year old.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above!!!
DeleteWho are you to judge? Get a life! Get laid, you might enjoy it.
Wait??? Are you a virgin?
You ladies are going to Hell!
DeleteWow. Just Wow.
ReplyDeleteSomeone is feeling guilty.
Last two comments are some of the funniest things I've ever read.
Hey, if the boot fits lace it up. If he's paying you for pussy, then yeah, you are a HOE. That's not an immature statement just fact. You just don't like hearing the truth.
We're not designed to be sexually monogamous? Hey take that up with God. He said One man, One wife. He designed us to be sexually monogamous. Sad that you don't see the truth.
All these shaming tactics just make me laugh.
Now you have mentioned God I'm no longer interested in what you have to say. I'm not interested in a fictious deity. I'm only interested in living. No I don't feel guilty. Why would I feel guilty about mutual enjoyment? Incidentally the word is Whore not How. A hoe is a garden tool. Why you find it funny? You don't like the truth do you? I am living my life how I want and I don't care what little old you thinks. I'm gonna be dead soon enough and it won't matter. I'm getting what I need, I'm doing what I enjoy. He's doing the same. You are jealous, just jealous. Your posts are more of a feeble attempt to convince yourself more than anything.
ReplyDeleteGood gravy.
ReplyDeleteWhy would I be jealous of someone who is PATHETIC? Someone who doesn't see their own value or hasa sense of self-worth? A woman with a healthy self esteem doesn't need to share a man, she can get one of her own.
FYI, Hoe Ho, and Whore all have the exact same definition: A woman who sells sex in exchange for cash and gifts.
Man these are some twisted ethics. Why would someone feel guilty about mutual enjoyment? Because they're CHEATING on someone and VIOLATING their relationship.
You're getting what you need until he gets tired of you or you turn 40 whichever comes first. And then you head to the slut graveyard called online dating.
Since you're leaving, don't let the doorknob hit you in the rear.
that's the funny thing. I'm already way past 40 and his wife is early 30s. Marriage is a man made union but sex is natural. So digest this. I am over 40 and his wife is 32. I've been seeing him for 18 months and I am the one that gets tired and needs a break from him. he would be at my home everyday if a allowed it.
ReplyDeleteDang granny a hoe! Lmfao!
DeleteBTW the slut graveyard is where he met his wife... online dating is where a lot of decent relationships start first online and they are not all 40+.
ReplyDeleteOhhh....So you got yourself a SIMP. That explains everything.
ReplyDeleteWow that was a short reply. Not a lot ya can say is it? Simp or not we are having Good fun and he ain't wasting time thinking about other peoples sex lives. Unlike you.
DeleteI would like to state that your article is incorrect. I am with a married man and although I did not know he was married at the time I do now and we very rarely have sex. He does not use me or treat me like a whore and he still invests in me financially and emotionally. Not all married men enter a relationship with another woman for sex.
ReplyDeleteThats a bit harsh! Surely not everyone is the same
ReplyDeleteWhat you call harsh is the honest truth. You need to understand you can do better than half a man.
ReplyDeleteHe's not worth your time. Why be the "other woman" and not his woman. You're settling for less. If you valued yourself as a woman you'd see that half a man is no man at all. There are plenty of men out here who would have committed to you if you wouldn't sell yourself short and see that the dating pool is much larger than what you've been told.
What you call harsh is the honest truth. You need to understand you can do better than half a man.
ReplyDeleteHe's not worth your time. Why be the "other woman" and not his woman. You're settling for less. If you valued yourself as a woman you'd see that half a man is no man at all. There are plenty of men out here who would have committed to you if you wouldn't sell yourself short and see that the dating pool is much larger than what you've been told.
Yes I agree it isn't a perfect situation but every situation is different and I do not like being called a whore as I was a virgin before him and I remained a virgin for almost 30 years and because of that he does not treat me or see me as a whore. He actually has fallen in love with me and that is his karma. Of course I'm not stupid his initial intention was wrong as he was married and didn't inform me of that until after we were deeply involved in the relationship, however he did fall for me as he fell for me while trying to play me, he got too emotionally involved himself and how am I supposed to just turn off the tap and forget my first? I am a Muslim and in our religion a man can have two wives so yes he has given me a ring and yes he has proposed and wants to marry me but it is me that is holding back and assessing the situation, and in the mean time I would like to add that we are not doing anything sexual. The emotions are present but our actions are just as good friends and he is proving his commitment and seriousness by showing financial commitment. Now that doesn't make me a whore.
ReplyDeleteHe's not holding back. He's just playing you. If he wanted to marry you, he'd have just done it. He knows you have emotional ties to him and is taking advantage of that to manipulate you. You don't see how you're selling yourself short.
ReplyDeleteHere's the deal: Men make commitments to women they want in their lives. There is no taking time to assess things, they just go and do what they have to. His actions speak louder than his words. Dude is stringing you along and sadly you just can't see it.
Ok so if he marries me then what?
ReplyDeleteHi Shawn - I just want to to let you know that I loved your article and I know a lot of people won't like what I just said. I came across this article because I was looking for answers and that is what I got. The simple truth from a man and the reality of it, though true, hurts to read. I met my friend 5 years ago and we stayed as friends with benefits. I've known him to be in serval relationships during these 5 years and of course I've never been one of them. At one point lat year, he actually had my daughter and I stay with him 3 times a week and in the weekends while feeling like we were a little family. He would even stay with us at times. It lasted only 3 months. It seems as though we have connected emotionally over the past year even saying "I Love You" every day. He is in a relationship again at this time and he comes to see me twice a week. I feel as though I am trying so hard to believe that he truly loves me and I will be his number one, but I know deep down that I'm never going to be his number one. It has been 5 years and I still have never met his children. Your article makes it so clear and easy to understand and I'm glad I came across your strong, informative article. Why is it so hard for me to move on? Is there a chance that he has fallen in love with me? I'm 33 and want a family and so afraid of being lonely from being emotionally and mentally attached to him. Any suggestions on how to move on and why I'm so afraid to? Again, I respect your article and it really made me open my eyes to what I actually am and mean to my friend ..
ReplyDeletePart 2 - I forgot to mention that he is very jealous of what i do and always accusing me of sleeping with other men when in fact he is the only man in my life .. i have to tell him what I'm doing and where I'm going but sometimes he just wants to pick a fight and argue over stupid shit .. As his lady friend, I guess he just wants that power over me huh? What a prick .. see I know where I stand. I need the strength to move on ..
ReplyDeletePART 1
ReplyDeleteI was a "Sidepiece" at the age of 18. Then, I was a virgin and had very little experience with men. He was a married 47 year old with two children. I am not going to make myself into a victim, but I believe he took advantage of my inexperience. No-one warned me of the slithering tongue of a Married Man. The way they worm their way into your life by saying the right things. He told me that his wife didn't have sex with him, she was boring blah blah blah. We women have a nurturing side that these men use against us. We feel sorry for them. Poor thing, I thought.
Before I knew it, I was having sex with him. He gave head like he had a Phd in it. I was drunk with pleasure. He told me his wife didn't care if he cheated. That part must have been slightly true because he picked me up from work, dropped me off, we spend Friday Nights together at a bar getting special drinks from his bartender friend. He made me feel special.
He tried to convince me that we weren't hurting anyone. I met both his children once. He introduced me as his "friend". One night while we were having sex his wife called. His dick was literally still inside me while he spoke to her. He told her that he was with a "friend" and would be coming home in a little. I was riddled with guilt and shame. Shortly after, I told him I wanted to end things. I was tired of being an accomplice.
He begged, protested, ate even better. He pulled out all the stops. I felt suicidal and low because of the whole ordeal. I stopped by a local church one evening after refusing to see him and a church youth group was there. I thank God every time I remember. I didn't tell them about the affair, but I told them I was going through some things. I shortly became a member of that church and left him for good. He still called and begged asking to come back. He didn't love me, he just didn't want to lose his secure and "very sure" vagina. He didn't want to have to go through the whole "grooming" process again. One day when he called and I again refused to see him, he blurted out, " I should have breed you when I had the chance!" I was shocked. This selfish douche bag was actually trying to impregnate me. I noticed that every time I made mention of ending things, he would do questionable things to the condoms. I later found out that I wasn't the only Sidepiece, just the "Main Sidepiece" smh
To be continued......
PART 2
ReplyDeleteFast forward six years later....I am 24 years old. I finished college and joined the Armed Forces. I am doing well even though I have not had a relationship nor have I had sex since. I have my own place, I am independent and happy. I have had marriage proposals from guys at church, but I wasn't ready to settle at the time. I think I am a great catch so if I really wanted a long term relationship, I know I could. I am enjoying my youth.
My best friend who met him saw him the other day. He was with his WIFE! When he was talking to her she asked him who she was and he said, "a friend". He slipped his number to my friend and asked her to give it to me because he really needed to "talk". I must say, when she told me I had a deep contempt for him that bordered on hate. What would my life had been like if this fool had impregnated me knowing full well that he had no intentions of leaving his wife?
I now have a strong anger in me when a married man hits on me. I still feel hurt from the affair. I still feel used.
You are doing a great public service by letting these women know that being a Sidepiece is a degrading position. Married men who cheat are dogs. Do not give them a place to bust their nut. If you do, they will use you for all you're worth, then discard you when their done or when you become too much trouble.
Women, you are worth more and deserve better than being someone's sloppy seconds (maybe thirds, fourths or fifths). Respect yourself and muster the courage to leave. Married men who cheat are cunning snakes and a BIG waste of time. They will rob you of your youth and/or self-esteem while STILL playing "happy family" with the wife. Selfish bastards! Get the courage to leave! I promise you, you will be so much better off.
SIGNED
REFORMED SIDEPIECE (WITH A STRONG DISLIKE BORDERING ON HATE FOR MARRIED MEN WHO CHEAT)
By the way.... I am Black.
ReplyDeleteREFORMED SIDEPIECE
Wow, is all I can say. This article hit it right on the head. My husband had three affairs that I know of, and I found out all about them around the same time. And after the shit came out of the toilet, I was packing my bags. He begged me to stay because get this he said he was lying and telling them what they wanted to hear, so he could continue to get the goods from them. One of the side hoes even had the nerves to get mad when I confronted her and told her that based on my research he fucked somebody else after he met her...just like you said. She had the nerve to get mad that he was "cheating on her". Hahaha!!! An just like you said, it was so convenient that all of a sudden she said she was pregnant only after I discovered their affair, and she conveniently had an abortion, no proof of pregnancy or abortion. I tried to talk her out of an abortion because the baby didn't deserve to be killed, just because they were the devil. And you know what, my husband didn't even try to stop her from having her abortion. He told me he didn't try to talk her out of it and she confirmed it. I don't believe there was baby or abortion. I guess she thought it would be enough to make me leave, and she would be pregnant in no time. Guess what, he still didn't leave me for her. Hahahahaha!!!!!! And you know why because he said and I quote, "if she cheat with she'll cheat on me, and that will always be in the back of my mind." Amazing!!! For the chicks that think he must love me and he spending time with me at hours he should be at home, something must be special about me. I am here to tell you that the reason he can spend those hours with you is because his wife trusts him. If he said he has to work late and she trusts him, then she will believe he is at work. If he said he has to go on a business trip and she trusts him, she has no reason to think he is not on that business trip. In other words, he lying to his wife about his whereabouts and that is the only he can get away with it because she trusts him. But when he fucks up and the trust is broken, he won't be able to take a shit at work without her knowing about it. She will be on his ass like white on rice. She will be like a bloodhound on a cold case trail, sniffing and looking for clues of continuing infidelity. You will become too much of a headache, cause he got to come up with more elaborate and believable lies to tell his wife, who incidentally won't believe anything he says...anymore!! So Ms. Anonymous with the poor English and poor writing skills who types long run on sentences, and who claims to have a good job, baby you don't have a good job, you are barely making ends meet and that is why you stay. He pays your Section 8 rent and give you a little bit of cash, just giving you crumbs. You said you could walk away at any time, so why haven't you? Men do not think like us!!! I will never forget what one of my male professors said in class, which was apparently a speech he made to all the incoming freshmen women. He said, men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love. In other words, he will tell you he loves you just to get what he wants because he knows you don't how to tell the difference between sex and love. Men are very clear on that. P.S. I'm rich Bitch!!!
ReplyDeleteShaming tactics. *Pathetic*
ReplyDeleteThose who have no fault cast the first stone....
ReplyDeleteCrazy how people try to justify wrongdoing...Then get upset when the same man they're cheating with cheats on them...SMH....
ReplyDeleteShawn, I have been involved with a married man for over a year. We see each other once a week for sex only. I knew what I was getting myself into before I engaged into a sexual relationship with him. He has made it clear that no piece of ass is worth leaving his wife for and I just settled for the sex. Its easier than emotionally nurturing a relationship in which I don't have time for. I get my thrills taken care of and he gets what he wants from me. Honesltly, Its getting old and I am the one that needs to end it. I thank you and your article to help me. I won't be seeing him anymore.
ReplyDeleteAlso he claimed he hasn't been intimate for many years, so in the same position as me, that's why we clicked, I felt bad for him, also he has a busy schedule, so do I I have told him I can only see him spordiacly or in the morning which he is busy, frankly I don't think it will work, since I can't even be in a room for 5 minutes and he is all over me, yes the sex is great but would like more than feeling like a whore.
ReplyDeleteI am 34 years old and I guess u can say im some what of a side piece but didn't start out this way...long story I'll try to make it short, I fell in love with my married man when I was 15 well we were both 15 and dated till age 18 because he decided he wanted to see other people. .I was devistated but tried to move on I began dating my close friend but not because I loved him or was attracted to him but because he was there for me and I grew to love him ..I became pregnant with my first daughter a year later and was engaged shortly after..Now my first love decides to show up saying he loved me and wants to marry me which is insane because I was pregnant and about to be married but he insisted he was ready and said he was dating this female but needed me and if I didn't agree to be with him he would stay with her..I didn't believe him so I married my husband we stayed in contact checked in with one another which my husband was aware of...after 5 years of marriage and a second daughter my husband started getting to get to involved with his career and wasn't home much, I began talking
ReplyDeleteTo my first love more often we began seeing eachother and started sleeping with eachother he was not yet married to the wife..we both agreed to leave our spouses I left first he left a month later. We dated I was supposed to get a divorce so we could get married but after 2 months he went back to the girlfriend i was pissed and went back to my husband..the first love and I didn't speak for about a month and then we started the relationship all over again he wanted me to leave but I couldn't he said he would marry her if I didn't and I just couldn't bare to hurt my husband again so he married her they've been married for 5 years now but and we've been still seeing eachother he says he loves me and loves her too. I divoced my husband after 3 months of their marriage, he was supposed to divorce her too but he didn't after he found out she was pregnant with their second child.
ReplyDeleteSo we continued our relationship he eventually separated and stayed with me during the week and went home on the weekend to spend time with his kids until he found out I was pregnant and threatened to end the relationship if I kept it..I kept my baby and found out later that his wife couldn't have kids any more and was pissed at the idea of me keeping the baby because it would hurt her..he left and went home to her and after a few months was back trying to be with me our daughter is 2 now and heloves her and takes care of her spends time with her as well..however me and him are still messing around he gets angry if I try to cut it off but just this past year he hasn't talked about us being together but expresses how much he loves me says he loves us both differently and does not want to ruin his family the wife is still in love with him and is not giving up..I finally ended it 2weeks ago, I am truly depressed and saddened by this..
Deleteany advise Shawn and whats your take on this situation was he really in love with me and did I mess up by not marrying him when he first asked?
He wasn't married at first did u read the whole thing? Im asking u based off the history we had and me not marrying him when he said he was ready to settle down so are u saying its my fault because I didn't believe him? And in regards to child support ur suggesting I file even though he is already taking care of her financially?
ReplyDeleteIf The side chick is considered the hoe, what is the wife who choose to stay with the cheating husband? The home couldn't be that happy when the wife know her husband is spreading his wings.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if a single woman was dating a single man and that person is giving and getting all the same benefits (sex,money, etc.) are they still considered hoes? If not, then what are they???
This dude??? sounds too emotional,
ReplyDeletesarcastic and illogical in his responses to commenters to be taken seriously. He probably has some deep seated mommy issues that he's never addressed or have had resolved. Sad. His thoughts, words, tone and ... spirit resonates as someone who is very negative and evil at heart. This is no shaming on his part just Truth. His spirit is off and that's the only thing that should be taken seriously in this article (rant).
What about the sidepiece who is genuinely in love with the married man and wants no gifts, money or meals? Not even regular sex. Sometimes the pleasure of loving sex, other times long kisses and other times simply looking into each others eyes. There is something magical about falling in love. It's a constant torture wondering if it is worse giving up this love to find someone single you like a lot less, or letting it carry on being sad all the time because you can only have limited moments in time to share with the person you love.
ReplyDeleteWhat about them? YOU'RE STILL A HOE!
ReplyDeleteHey Shawn James I love your article and have never been a side piece nor will i ever I think its pretty disturbing for these women most of them side pieces and be ok with it And are not taking your advice as a man yourself they need to take into account that men are like this regardless of the fact if these so called side pieces, if thats what they call themselves, are around for years and getting just enough to stay around who in their right mind would be desperate enough to degrade their worth in such a way when that man dies the sidepiece doesn't get nothing you can have the same with a single man and infact more because at least he will stay with you every night its quite disturbing for me to read all these lost souls committing about how they sleeping with a married man you women need to find jesus if you knew no man can love you or take better care of you then jesus then you wouldn't be so easy to sleep with a man who is just using you Jesus loves you remember that while your settling for less maybe you do better if you knew better
ReplyDeleteWow. This dude is an ass but he is entitled to his opinion. If you are a side piece and you enjoy it then it's your life to live and who cares what people say. If your a wife that's pissed watch some porn or something and get your sex game up. Learn how to communicate. Bottom line is as wives we sometimes get comfortable and start to neglect our marriages. What we did in the beginning to get that husband we stop doing. Be spontaneous, outgoing, loving, a friend and a freak. Fill all the shoes then your man won't look elsewhere. I've been a side piece and heard my married man complain about all these issues and I have been married for 4 years and you better believe I know my man's every move. And he is the one that keeps me posted to and from work he's on the phone with me. Even if he's with his friends he's calling like crazy...... doesn't mean he can't cheat but I am confident that he doesn't. Don't blame a side piece for destroying a relationship. A married couples relationship is already in trouble if the man finds it necessary to look elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you look like your art then that's why you not getting laid and your so bitter. Instead of writing about what other people do and what you claim you have never been through, write about something you have concrete knowledge about.
ReplyDelete^^^Ahhh...The shaming tactics and ad-hominem atacksthese hoes use to justify their adultery. Sticks and stones may break my bones but your words make me laugh.
ReplyDeleteIf I wasn't telling the truth about YOU, you wouldn't be so offended. I love how these hoes love to come back at me with you're not getting laid. Like sex is the only solution to all the world's problems. Side Pieces have lead with their pussies because they have ABSOLUTELY NO PERSONALITY. Otherwise, they'd be able to get their own man ather than sharing someone elses'.
The fun part about these hoes is watching them waste the best years of their lives pining for another woman's man and then getting NOTHING in return.
While you dumpster dive for dick, and promises that will never be kept the world will pass you by.
Then when they're 35-40, watching them head over to the slut graveyard called Online Dating or the Personals. Jab at me all you want but Time is not on your side.
Sad part about the last comment is you have a married woman justifying adultery.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how she'd feel if HER husband was the one cheating. She probably wouldn't be so eager to justify side pieces doing whatever they wanted.
Hey shawn,
ReplyDeleteStumbled into this article, As much as I trying to understand idealist perpective, I think u write from a place of deep hurt ,fear and lots pent u anger.
I need you to be less myopic and realise that life isn't always black and white. Do u know how many unhappy marriages there is out there? Do you know what it means to live with someone you don't feel anything for anymore and your there. Just because your bound by some legal documents? And yes because the cost of divorce will probably rruin your entire life! The other woman u call whatever you choose to in some instances is the source of this man's joy, not just for sex in exchange for nicer things of life but a deep emotional connection that just happened at the wrong time. A lot women get married and become less of the woman a man initially fell in love with and because nature abhors vaccum, the man must fill that gap......The women that know how to hold their marriages don't experience these things, the ones that don't know how to, I'm sorry, do actually risk loosing their men to some other woman... You call the man " A cheater, a liar, a this and that.......Have you never lied in your life? Before we mix things up, I am not tryring to say on this pages that dating a married man is the nicest exercise, but you have no right to judge ,label or condemn anyone! Life happens sometimes and you must not have 100 percent control over it! Life in all its forms is meant to be explore, the good , bad and ugly! Just be graceful enough to accept life in all its diffrent element instead of being extremly judgemental because of your own personal experience....... My favourite cousin dated a married man for years, they found love with each other, of course the wife was hurt at the time! Her husband left her married my cousin after dating her for 7 years, today , they have been happily married for 18 years! The former wife moved on, married some else eventually! We had a huge reunion party last years! My ccousin invited her husbands ex wife ! The toast was endless! Both parties are so happily married to differnet people whhom they genuinely love! All that seemingly condemmed act turned into a blessing in disguise! Just pray you have tthe strength to face life and deal! Not all these castigation and labelling! Life is deeper than this shalloww minded bitter perspectives your selling! Howver I am also not encouraging anyone to actively seek to take some one else's spouse but if life happens learn how to detect the silver lining! Because there's always a reason for everythiNg......
Good Gravy.
ReplyDeleteMore shaming tactics from dysfunctional females. Marriages only become unhappy because the people stop being happy with themselves.
If the shoe were on the other foot and YOU were the one being cheated on, I doubt you'd be justifying adultery.
Remember this: What he did to HER he will do to YOU. Eventually, he'll stop being happy with you the same way he was with HER.
A Side piece is a whore who sells herself short. She takes half a man in half a relationship instead of getting the full package with her own man.
Maybe you are unhappy with yourself and you're trying to bring down other people.
ReplyDeleteI do, however, like that you've put down your opinion on what a side piece dies not know.
Does not know
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteEr...Maybe I'm trying to educate women so they don't throw away the best years of their lives on a LOSER who doesn't have the BALLS to COMMIT to her in MARRIAGE.
ReplyDeleteMost women who dumpster dive for dick don't know what they're getting into with these married men. And how much TIME they WASTE hoping, wishing, and praying they COMMIT to them when the man is showing he isn't LOYAL from day one. If you cheat with someone, you'll cheat ON someone.
What about beeing a second wife??? second wife consideres a WHO too???
ReplyDeleteSme sluts think dey cn end up being Olivia Pope in Scandal. Damn even Liv didn't end up wif d man.
ReplyDeleteWot m jux sayin is wen we humans do tinz especially bad tinz we lyk 2 rationalize it in our minds and even give justifications no matter hw stupid it sounds jux 2 validate our wrong doins.
Dating a married man wen u especially knw he's married,(even if he didn't tell u d signs r dere unless u choose 2 ignore it.) Shows how much you value your self worth in comparism to some passion, all for wot borrowed time,stds,being used,bottom priority xcept 4 sex,in event of death no recognitn's given to u,loneliness,potential embarrasment wen d finds out.
Y do u tink dere r hardly ppl u cn tell wot u r doin SPcs,well cos evry1s goin2 judge u. Let's call it wot it is BAD regardless of ny foolish feelings u may hve.
No one cares if d wife d worst wife on earth,its doesn't justify wot u r doin SPcs cos its up to d man to fix d marriage wit evrytin he's got or divorce her.
Just get a sheet of paper n divide it wif a paper,write advantages of d affair on one syd nd disadvantages on d oda syd. Nw m talkin adv n disadv in both short term and long term. Its a lose-lose situation. If he won't put u first by marry u, then HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU,u are jux bein used as....well, a Sidepiece.
Nd pls jux try being honest wif yourself. Wen u SPcs claim u cn b aloof n detached in d affair,u cn keep ur emotions @ bay huh?yu must b dumb,cos emotions give u notice b4 dey cme ryt? I dnt understand y a married man hittin on yu isn't a huge turn off. 98 % of d tym d man neva leaves his wife nd 2% of d tym dey do leave ts cos d wife makes no effort to keep him probably cos she'snt even aware he wasn't happy 2 begin with or cos she's indifferent or cldnt careless if he left. If a man is set 2 leave d wife 4 d mistress,and d wife makes up her might 2 kip d husband no bombshell mcgee sidepc cn get him except he's been hit wit African love voodoo which is common here in Nigeria. Way to xtinguish d fire on ur make-blv fantasy/love. Love isn't d foolish sweaty palms or increased heart rate shit for men dts lust/passion, True love for a man is a choice. A choice to stay wif d woman he took his vows wit even tho he knws her flaws,even tho she's changed,even tho she cnt fulfill his sexual fantasies (which he's usin u 4), a choice to stay wif his kids. Think it through please for your own sake.
ReplyDeleteShawn, this article has helped me overcome personal troubles of my own. I can totally relate to this and want to thank you for clarifying the air about these HOES!! I was very upset over a issue I have going on in my life and your writing really helped me put these type of women into perspective....SO THANK YOU
ReplyDelete