Chapter 1
Mid September 1989
My life is a horror movie.
Give or take a scene.
I feel the eyes of Park
West’s most popular girls pointing daggers at me from the back of the classroom.
I’d love to ask them what they’re looking at. I’d love to ask them what their
problem is. But because I want to live to see another day in this hellhole of a
high school, I just do my best to listen to Mrs. Lubbock talk about The Civil
War.
“During the Civil War Lincoln freed the slaves.” Mrs. Lubbock
says as she continues her lecture. “And he did so in an effort to help Black
people have a better life in America.”
Okay, I hate to correct a
teacher. But that’s only part of the story. And I can’t have my fellow
classmates go on being miseducated by our wonderfully substandard New York City
public school system when I can do something about it. Besides, me
pontificating about the Civil War will eat some time off the clock. When this
period is over, half the day will be gone. Then it’ll be one year, nine months,
thirty-three days and two hours until I can kiss this shithole goodbye on graduation
day.
“Mrs. Lubbock?” I ask
raising my hand.
“Yes Matilda?” She asks.
“Er…President Lincoln
didn’t free the slaves to help them have a better life, he freed them part of a
strategy to win the Civil War.”
Mrs. Lubbock gives me a
curious look on hearing my statement. When she flashes me a smile I realize I’m
not in trouble. “What would that strategy have been Matilda?”
Is she actually interested
in what I have to say? “Well, Lincoln wanted to preserve the Union above all
else. And one of the strategies he used to undermine the Confederacy was
freeing the slaves.”
I hear a chorus of huffed sighs
and sucked teeth on hearing my presentation of the facts about American
History. Mrs. Lubbock smiles proudly after hearing me speak. “But they got a
better life after they were freed.”
I’d love to tell her that
the results of that could be debated. But I don’t want to push my luck with the
teachers around here. “We had to fight for it.”
Mrs. Lubbock is about to
reply to me when the bell rings. Students start scrambling for the door as I
ease out of my seat and start stuffing my notebook in my backpack. Just as I’m
putting my American History book in my bag, I catch the cold look in
Shantelle’s eyes. The faster I get out of here the faster I can get to the
cafeteria. And maybe school security will actually give a shit about me when I
get there.
I’m about to make a
beeline for the door to make my escape when Mrs. Lubbock calls out to me.
“Matilda, could you stay for a minute?” She requests.
Me and my big mouth. I
shuffle back over to Mrs. Lubbock’s desk while the rest of the class files out
of the classroom. As Shantelle and her girls get to the door, she looks me dead
in my eyes and whispers that she’s gonna fuck me up. Just what I need. The
threat of an ass kicking before I get my fish sticks.
After Shantelle leaves,
Mrs. Lubbock closes the door behind her and turns to greet me with a kind
smile. “That was a very intelligent observation about the Civil War Matilda.”
My eyes fall to the floor
on the compliment. “Er…I just thought I could say something about the subject.”
I say. “My Dad’s a professor and he teaches this stuff at the college where he
works at.”
“So this class is just a
formality to you.”
I’d have to say so. He’s
been drilling Black history into me since I was seven years old. I’d love to
tell her about the impending ass kicking I’ve been threatened with, but we’re
having such a lovely conversation. “Yeah, that’s what my Dad tells me.”
“Since you know so much, I’d
love to hear more from you.”
I’d love to say more in class but it’d just get me more grief
from my fellow classmates in the cheap seats. “I just wanted to say something
about the subject.” I say playing with the cuffs of my jacket.
“Well, don’t be afraid to
speak. We’re not going to hurt you.”
That can be debated. If I
say what I really want to, Shantelle and her friends may silence me
permanently. “I don’t know…”
“Matilda, I know you’re
uncomfortable about speaking, but you have to find your voice.”
I give her a look. “What
do I need a voice for? I get good grades-”
“Your voice is the only
way you’re going to make it in this world. It’s the only way people are going
to know who you really are.”
That’s my problem. People
know who I am. Matilda Kelley Crowley, the middle class girl next door. And
because I am the middle class girl next door they can’t be they all hate me.
“They know who I am-”
“I wouldn’t even know you
were here if I weren’t taking attendance. You’re so quiet it’s like you’re
invisible.”
I’m a middle child. Being
invisible is what we do best. “I usually don’t have anything to say-”
Mrs. Lubbock takes my hand
and gives me an earnest look. “I believe if you want something bad enough
you’ll tell the world. And you’ll tell the world why you want it.”
“I guess I have to fight
for it.”
Mrs. Lubbock gives me kind
smile that makes me think she actually believes in me. “Just think about what I
told you.”
“Okay.”
I check my watch as I rush
towards the door and hurry down the hall into Staircase C. I’ve got two minutes
before the late bell rings. If I’m lucky Shantelle and her girls are already in
the cafeteria. And maybe I can avoid getting my ass kicked today.
The paperback edition of Spellbound will bee available the week of Halloween! You can pre-order the eBook version on Kindle and Smashwords today!
Bonus: The Siouxisie and the Banshees song that inspired the title!
Bonus: The Siouxisie and the Banshees song that inspired the title!
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