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Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Shawn’s Thoughts On The Justice League Trailer

I guess The Flash is wearing Fractal Techgear in the movie!

Warner Brothers debuted The Justice League Trailer at San Diego Comic Con last week. And while Shawn can’t afford a trip to SDCC, he can go to a Library and catch that same trailer on YouTube. And when I saw that trailer I wasn’t impressed.


I didn’t think it was possible to surpass the crappiness of Batman V. Superman, but here we are.


Warner Brothers’ executives fear was all over that screen. In a desperate attempt to copy Marvel Studios’ films we have Warner Brothers’ executives trying to turn the Justice League into The Avengers.


Unfortunately Justice League ain’t the gonna be in the…League of anything Marvel Studios has produced so far. Justice League is just AWFUL with a capital A. 


Here’s the plot: A big menace from Apokalips or somewhere in space is coming to Earth. And Batman and Wonder Woman are recruiting a team of heroes to take it on.


Really? A $400+ million budget and this is the best Warner Brothers’ screenwriters can come up with?


Damn. Just Damn.


I remember seeing this plot in about a dozen Saturday morning cartoons and lame Japanese Animes in the 1980s.


I’m sorry, that’s just NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR A MOTION PICTURE YOU ASK PEOPLE TO PAY THEIR MONEY FOR.

It’s embarrassing that Paul Dini and Bruce Timm can produce a Justice League movie that captures the heart and spirit of what DC’s heroes were all about for basic cable but a director like Zack Snyder can’t produce a quality film with Oscar winning screenwriters and a budget that’s three or four hundred million dollars.


With the tools Warner Brothers has and the money they spend they should be able to produce a fillm on the level of Marvel Studios The Avengers, Avengers: Age of Ultron, and Captain America: Civil War. But due to insecurity, a lack of creativity, and an adherence to an archaic approach to 1980s-1990’s filmmaking, 2016 DC Comics superhero films look like something the Salkinds made in the 1980s.


Seriously, everything about this film is just JUNK. I didn’t see the spirit or the heart of what DC heroes were in that film. In those jumbled frames I saw a bunch of people TELLING the world why they were heroes instead of SHOWING us why they are heroes. And that’s a big problem with Warner Brothers Superhero films. They TELL instead of SHOW.


We have people telling us Aquaman helps people by giving them fish. We have Aquaman standing in the hall looking tough. I’m sorry that’s NOT GOOD ENOUGH to get butts into seats. I want to see Aquaman in the water, standing on top of a whale cutting a look at Batman before asking him what he wants.


And those frames with Barry Allen? Ripped Straight from Captain America: Civil War. Everything in those sequences stolen straight from the scenes Tony Stark had with Peter Parker.


When a director has to imitate instead of creating his own frames, you know a film is in trouble creatively. With a film like Justice League Zack Snyder should be showing us how he tells a story. But with his back to the wall he decides to copy the Russos.


Good Gravy.


Here’s a thought: How about hiring The Russos to direct a Justice League movie? It’d probably be better than this.


Warner Brothers desperation shows in every frame of that trailer. Each scene of Justice League tries desperately to capture the energy and spirit of a Marvel Studios film. Warner Brothers knows it’s two going on three flops (Man of Steel, Batman V. Superman, Suicide Squad) and they need a hit.


It ain’t gonna be this movie. Justice League is just shit thrown at a wall.


Seriously, this is THE BEST Warner Brothers has to offer DC Comics fans? A warmed over 1980s Saturday morning plot, Bad acting and horrible CGI? Oh, and let me not forget that shittacular Flash costume. It’s embarrassing when CW’s own TV show can create a better costume than the production of a major motion picture with fifty times the budget.


Even this Total Justice action figure variant from a 2-pack looks better than that Flash Costume Warner Brothers made.


DC Comics fans deserve better than this half-assed attempt at movie making. For years they’ve been waiting for a film that’s on the level of a Marvel Studios film. And sadly all Warner Brothers executives does is throw shit at them and hope, wish and pray they’ll enjoy they’ll stick around and continue watching.


Oh, I’m not done. The Wonder Woman movie Trailer is gonna get ripped a new one in the next blog!


6 comments:

  1. Which begs the question as to why Warner Bros film division will not hire either Paul Dini or Bruce Tim to write their JLA movie. Is it because they see them as TV people or comic book people? You know what I want to see, Brad Bird direct a Superman movie. Can I have that? Because I've had just about enough of Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan. And why not make that Superman or JLA movie animated. What is this hardline approach that all superhero movies have to be Live action. Go animated, and you cut the cost of your movie easily in half. And Jesus give the movies some style other than dark and brooding, and change it up. What about a Superman movie set in the 1930s. How about a Wonder Woman set during World War II. How about a Martian Manhunter movie set during the 50s, and give it a very B movie alien invasion vibe. How about a goddamn Hawkman movie in the style of Indiana Jones. You really want to be like Marvel Studios, DC? Then how about you stop being so f- lazy and use your imagination.

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    1. I have enjoyed a number of the recent animated DC films, which either are animated or have their own plot. (Godd and Monsters)

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  2. Speaking of which, you seem to have strange taste in film. I guess I'm not that into superheroes as heavily as I was before so I can't complain about the new trailer much. I could however tell my opinion that Supergirl's got points but it ended up being so mediocre.

    The cinematography's inconsistent, redundant characters get tacked in scenes where they're unnecessary (and you wonder why people hate James more than they hate Hank), only a few actors act (again why Hank is more beloved than James) and an apparent waste of budget. Not to mention Indigo looks like a ripoff of Mystique, which others pointed out.

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  3. Deah Mister Shawn,

    I'se an emancipaticated slave who am almost a hunnert year old. I'se jus' watch dat dere movin' pitcher trailer and... lawd heb mercy, what happen to dat po' ol' negro boy!!! He look like de ol' Tin Man from de Wizard of Oz! I'se so bery bery skeered!

    Anyway, I jus' wanted to letchu knows dat eben old folks like myself be enjoyin' yo' work.

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  4. I already despise what DC has done with Superman live action. And now they aren't giving him a lead role in founding the Justice League, because when he comes back from the dead, the League will be set up. Even Timm /Dini had Superman come up with the name "Justice League"

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  5. ben affleck has been sucking a awful lot cock in hollywood......

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