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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Shawn responds to Critics About Alleged Black Woman Bashing on His Blog

Some Black women have taken offense to some of my blogs making commentary on the irresponsible behavior of sistas in the community.

What I’m finding is that some Black women love to dish out all the criticism of Black men but they can’t take it when Black men like myself start presenting them with constructive criticism of their actions.

I’m sorry if some of you sistas are offended. But I don’t apologize for anything I have written over the last few months.

For the past 25-30 years Black women were allowed to voice their opinions about lying, no good triflin’ lazy Black men on talk shows, in books, magazines, movies, television shows and reality programming like court shows. Growing up I’ve watched Black men get bashed like cars in a demolition derby twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

And I’m sick and tired of it.

Black women have been allowed to voice their opinions on issues in the without rebuttal from Black men for close to three decades. On all those talk shows, books, magazines, movies television shows and reality programming I have never once heard Black men discuss their side of the story.

Sorry, but that’s not fair. It’s not an objective perspective of the issues between Black men and Black women. It doesn’t allow the public to come to fair conclusion about the issues going on in the Black community.

Black women love talking about how they’ve been victimized by horrible Black men. They love to complain about how bad Black men have done them and they insist that Black men change, take responsibility for their actions and make efforts to be better men.

However when Black men like myself ask Black women to change, take responsibility for their behavior, and make efforts to be better women it’s a different story.

Many of my fellow sistas talk equality but not aren’t about it. They love to have the forum open when they’re airing their grievances. But when Black men like myself want to rebut them or offer solutions which require them to make efforts to change, they want to turn off the microphone and close down the town hall.

And when we come to the doors of that hall to protest not getting our opportunity to speak, they call the police. And At the request of this cadre of bullies, the White male enforcers come in and silence any Black Man who disagrees with the edicts of the Black Matriarchal system.

I’ve watched as people who spoke on YouTube about Black issues and criticized Black women were attacked, flagged and had their channels shut down. I’ve watched as other writers and filmmakers were buried and denounced for creating material that doesn’t praise the Black Matriarchy.

I’ve even had a few sistas try to use shaming tactics and deflections to guilt me into not writing about these issues on my own blog. I’ve even had family members tell me to stop writing about Black female issues from a Black male perspective.

I couldn’t believe this was happening in the United States of America. The land of free speech and free press. A place where people could express their views and opinions without reprisal.
But this oppression is going on in the Black community.

When one side tries to silence other sides opposing point of view it’s called censorship.

When a group of people try to silence a point of view that opposes their viewpoint and impose their will on the community it’s called fascism.

I have to wonder: Is Black America a communist state within the United States? That if people speak out on certain subjects the BBW (Bitter Black Women) will come and make them disappear?

The tragic irony of the situation is that Black people fought hard to achieve civil rights and now we use them oppress each other.

Seriously, Black women what are you so afraid of? Why are you so scared of Black men telling their side of the story? Why don’t you want to hear things from our perspective?

When I write articles telling Black women to do the math it’s because I care. I want Black women to take a serious look at our community because they are the heads of households in a majority of our neighborhoods. I want them to understand that how they’re raising children on their own isn’t working.

Seriously how will the next generation of children survive in a technologically advanced society when 7 out of 10 boys and 5 out of 10 girls today don’t finish high school? How will they even find employment when so many African-Americans have prison records? How can our economy grow when 80 percent of Black men and a growing percentage of Black women don’t have jobs or the skills to start their own businesses? How many Black people will be left in the next generation when there’s a 60 percent abortion rate among Black women? What type of future will they have if they’re uneducated, illiterate and caught up in the homoerotic thug and coon culture sold to them by Madison Avenue and Hollywood as normal Black life?

When I criticize Black women I’m not bashing. It’s a call to arms. Sistas, look at your community. While you’re running around in denial on your high profile downtown jobs, with your advanced college degrees and focused on your hair, nails, and designer clothes looking for the dream Man Madison Avenue and Hollywood have sold you as your prince charming your community is going straight to HELL.

While you’re out being strong and independent with your man Uncle Sam’s help, the people who depend on you for emotional support like your children and your men are falling by the wayside and dying.

When I criticize Black women about their relationships with Black men I want them to take a long hard look at themselves and their approaches to people and how they relate to people. Something is clearly wrong when over two-thirds of the women in a community are still single.

Is their inability to find a mate because Black men are “trifling and no good?” Or is it because Black women have no standards? Or is it because most of those Black women were looking inside the contents of a Black man’s wallet instead of looking at the content of his character?

Sorry, but I’m not Tyler Perry, Lee Daniels,  or Steve Harvey. I’m not going to exploit Black women’s pain by pandering to them with victim propaganda medicates their pain.

That would betray my mission as a writer and a publisher.

My mission as a publisher and a writer is to present a positive image of African-Americans and the African-American experience. Moreover it is to make Black people think about themselves from different perspectives. I want to enrich people by broadening their knowledge of self, not get rich off them by selling them a pipe dream.

I feel a discussion of the Black woman allows for everyone to get a different perspective about how Black women are perceived. Not just by Black men, but by the rest of the world.

My commentary is opportunity for our sistas to grow and change and help Black women improve their quality of life.

Clearly something isn’t working if over two-thirds of the Black women are single.

Clearly something is wrong with the way Black women are having relationships with Black men when seventy percent of the relationships wind up with Black women becoming single mothers.

Clearly something is wrong with the way Black children are raised by Black female headed households when a majority of boys and girls don’t even try to get a high school diploma anymore.

And in the face of those facts it’s clear to me that the Black community is headed on a fast road off a cliff.

But according to many of the pundits in the media, the all the problems in the Black community are all just due to no good trifilin’ Black men. According to them if Black men would just get themselves together and go get a college degree and a good job everything would be okay.

I’m sorry but that’s BULLSHIT.

Let me drop a logic bomb on everyone: If seventy percent of single Black mothers are raising their sons and teaching them the dysfunctional values they learned growing up from their single mothers and grandmothers how do they learn to become “good” Black men of character and integrity?

Seriously, how do these boys grow up to become those “Good” Black men everyone is looking for when they came from a corrupt source? How do you get an orange from an apple tree?

Aren’t Black women creating more of the “no good triflin’ Black men” they so hate by continuing to teach the same dysfunctional approaches to life that failed for their mothers and grandmothers to their sons?

When you’re objective notice how the math adds up. 70 percent female headed households, 70percent single Black women, 70 percent single mothers, 70 percent dropout rate, 70 percent prison population, and 80 percent unemployment equals to 100 percent chaos in the Black community.

Wouldn’t it be logical stop doing what clearly doesn’t work? Wouldn’t it make sense to try something different? Wouldn’t it be prudent to start making efforts to reach out to the Black men who want to change so the healing can begin in the Black community?

This is a two way street. Just as Black men are responsible for making their mistakes, Black women are responsible for their mistakes too. And just like Black men like myself have to take ownership for our irresponsible decisions, Black women have to start taking ownership for their irresponsible decisions and failed approaches to life as well if healing is going to begin in the Black community.

Only an insane person thinks they can continue to do the same things over and over and expect a different result. And it’s crazy for Black women to think they can continue to follow an approach to life that’s failed over the past forty years. Sistas, Can you take an objective look at the Black community? Can you honestly say that what you’re doing on your own right now is working?

Things are WORSE now for Black people than when I grew up back in the 1980’s and early 1990’s. And this is under the auspices of the FIRST Black President. For that one great step the entire community has taken a step back to the Jim Crow 1930’s.

When I write my blogs about Black women it’s so Black women can see their self-destructive behavior in black and white. You’re not going to buy some book by some charlatan and make things magically better. You’re not going to watch some play or movie and live happily ever after like people do in that fiction.

No change is HARD. It’s PAINFUL. It requires HARD WORK and VIGILANCE. It requires the CHARACTER and CONVICTION to do what is RIGHT.

And if that truth hurts, then I’m sorry.

Good men of character and integrity are those who tell the truth. As a Christian, (not perfect) I cannot stay silent. A man who says nothing when he knows something is wrong is just as guilty as the men who he sees doing the wrong.

If I stayed silent I’d be just another no good trifling Black man.

It’s clear to me that things have to CHANGE in the Black community. And that means BOTH Black men and Black women are going to have to make efforts to improve themselves if relations between both are going to start on the road to getting better. 


  1. Shawn, first of all this is a problem that does not lend itself to easy answers. So many of us are thoroughly brainwashed with negative concepts of ourselves and those of the opposite gender that we wouldn't recognize the type of person we want for ourselves if we met them at high noon on a sunshiney day.

    This bashing of Black men by Black women and Black women by Black men has got to stop! It adds nothing and detracts everything. The worst White racist in this world couldn't draw up a more successful plan than what is happening on far too many venues now.

    My feeling is that this moves beyond Black and White. I frankly think far too many men and women are at war with the other sex, no matter the race. Women who feel dogged and betrayed by men are apt to strike back through the children they raise. These children then go on to perpetuate the stereotype of lowdown scoundrel men and hustling hardnosed, nogood women.

    It's a vicious circle and if we don't stop, we're all losing.

    The Hunger Games didn't come about from thin air. The viciousness in it means something - and theyre not for the most part Black.

  2. Shawn,
    THANK YOU!!!! Finally someone speaks the truth. Black women have lived in denial for so long. They act as if they are perfect and that if there is a problem in the relationship it's the black man's fault. I tell my wife all the time there is a reason that most of the women in her family do not have a husband and it's not all the man's fault.