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Saturday, December 5, 2015

Batman V. Superman Trailer….Is There A FAIL beyond EPIC?





Damn. Just Damn.

That’s all I can say after watching the trailer of Batman. V. Superman Dawn of Justice.
Is there a FAIL beyond Epic? 

The only place with a hotter mess than Batman V. Superman is in the netherrealm of Hell on the ninth level. From what I saw in the trailer I believe I have just seen the worst movie of 2016. And possibly the worst superhero movie of all time. Pitof, Roger Corman, Joel Schumacher, Michael Bay, and the makers of 2015’s Fantastic Four movie and 1989’s Captain America ain’t got nothing on Zack Snyder. Snyder is going to go down in history in as the Ed Wood of Superhero movie genre after this film. This one’s going to get ROASTED on this generation’s version of Svengoolie and MST3K.


Yep, Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice is going to be a groundbreaking film. It’ll be the film that defines what NOT to do when making a superhero movie. From what I saw in the trailer there were a TON of mistakes only a first-time filmmaker would make. A jumbled story that’s all over the place, Cringe-worthy dialogue, and absolutely HORRIBLE acting from Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill, and a series of drab dreary uninspired shots with no personality and by the numbers special effects and action sequences.


From what I saw I have to wonder if Zack Snyder is Just Tyler Perry using a pseudonym. Because what was presented onscreen was just like watching one of Perry’s suckatcularly bad films. I hate to say it but if Madea actually popped up in this movie it would be an improvement.


This one’s not even close to the source material. Even on Bizarro world they’d say Batman & Superman weren’t in this movie. Thanks to Ben Affleck Batman is just a cardboard cutout standing in place with a cell phone attached to it. Superman is just some angry dude in a cosplay costume who was told they were out of Fresca at the commissary. And Lex Luthor acts more like the Joker than the cold calculating businessman everyone knows in the comics and the Bruce Timm animated series. I don’t know who these characters are but they weren’t like anyone I read in DC Comics growing up.


And Wonder Woman…She just pops out of nowhere. Sorta like Alicia Silverstone’s transformation into Batgirl in Batman & Robin. It’s the most WTF? head scratch worthy moment in the trailer. If she’s supposed to make me want to spend $15 on this movie I just decided to keep my wallet in my pocket.


I still can’t believe that Warner Brothers actually spent money on this travesty. But eleven years ago they spent $100 million dollars on Halle Berry’s Catwoman and thought it was a good idea.


Good Gravy.


If WB wants to throw money away, hey give me $100 million to make a movie. After watching this cinematic vomit calling itself a superhero movie I honestly believe I could make a better film. I know for a fact I could write a better screenplay. To say that so-called professionals made this movie is an embarrassment to the film industry. I’ve seen better craft on fan made superhero films on YouTube. Batman: Dead End BLOWS THE DOORS off what I saw in that trailer.


I honestly have to wonder if Warner Brothers has money to waste or are the heads of Warner Brothers and DC Comics are truly their own worst enemies. In between the horrible comics, undersized overpriced action figures, and this cinematic abomination calling itself a Superhero movie it’s clear that the people who work at DC and Warner Brothers just HATE DC’s Superheroes. Because people who loved those characters wouldn’t produce something of such poor quality as this and be proud of it.


 After watching the trailer for Batman V. Superman it’s clear to me Warner Brothers just isn’t ready to compete with Marvel Studios. The difference between Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice and Captain America: Civil War is clear. One is a quality movie with a clearly defined story, multidimensional characters, rock solid cinematography that shows the story, and special effects that blend seamlessly into the film while the other is a jumbled mess of a film with no story, cardboard characters, uninspired camera work and horrible special effects that sticks out like a sore thumb. In one film you can see over $100 million well spent and in the other you can see $100 million tossed in the trash.


The sad part about Batman V. Superman is that it clearly shows Warner Brothers hasn’t learned anything about making superhero movies since 1997 when Batman & Robin flopped. If Batman V. Superman is the best Warner Brothers can do for DC Comics properties then it’s truly time for a top to bottom housecleaning at Time Warner at DC Comics and Warner Studios. Because clearly they need a new vision regarding the management of DC’s properties. If Batman V. Superman is the best the most talented people at Warner Brothers can produce regarding DC’s cinematic properties is a hot mess then it’s time for Warner Brothers to get new people.

 If the executives at Warner Brothers are really serious about change then maybe they should contact me on my Facebook page.

2 comments:

  1. It seems like every new live-action movie produced about the DC universe amplifies the flaws more and more, ever since the first one, and it hasn't improved since then.

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  2. Oh just wait Shawn, Suicide Squad is right around the corner, and that look like an even bigger mess than Batman V Superman. Seriously, though, sometimes a trailer can be bad, but the movie is actually good, and sometimes the reverse is true. But you are right about the actor playing Lex Luthor, he is cringe worthy. In fact, when he first shows up in the trailer I thought it was Jimmy Olsen.

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