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Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Shawn Reviews Fox’s Lucifer

Lucifer. A show about the adventures of The Devil roaming to and fro the Earth. All the potential for a devilishly fun hour of programming. Unfortunately, the show on FOX that adapts the DC Vertigo comic its based on is just a run of the mill, by the numbers cop show with a satanic gimmick attached to it. I could make a story much better than this premise. In fact I did when I wrote The Temptation of John Haynes.

Lucifer Morningstar, The Archangel you love to hate is tired of life in Hell. So he leaves his netherealm and heads to Hollywood to experience this thing we call life. His first stop is a bar where he chats up a she-demon bartender. A big Black bald headed chocolate colored archangel orders him to go back to Hell to bring back balance to things, but he decides he’s such a badass he’ll just roam to and fro on Earth for a while because we all know The Devil never follows the rules.

While hanging out at a bar he meets up with a girl named Delilah who he helped make a star. On the way out of the club Delilah gets killed by a dope dealer in a drive by shooter who dies when he gets hit by a bus. As he investigates her murder he meets up with a female detective and they go on a quest to find out who done it. At the end of the episode we’re supposed to believe that The Devil is being such a badass by showing how good he is by helping people he cares about.

Just after I typed all that I realize how stupid this show is.

Bettrer than Fox's Lucifer!
I just couldn’t get into FOX’s Lucifer. Maybe it’s because of my imagination and my own biases towards my own version of the character. In the SJS DIRECT Universe, Lucifer is a complete badass who looks and sounds like Keith David in his prime. He mindfucks people, manipulates people, and uses them like a Kleenex. And he has a shitload of fun while doing it. When you read The Temptation of John Haynes and compare him to the character in this show you’ll see that the SJS DIRECT version is far superior to the one on this show.

Part of the fun with SJS DIRECT version of Lucifer is he just enjoys being evil. He just doesn’t give a fuck. Instead of trying to stick it to God by showing how bad he is by being good, he does his evil deeds with relish. Reading about him mindfucking and manipulating his own demons like E’steem like chess pieces in his quest to take the soul of a man like John Haynes is part of the fun. And watching characters like John match wits with him as he foils his plans is what makes books featuring his appearances in books like The Temptation of John Haynes and E’steem series books like DemonsAnonymous entertaining must reads.

FOX’s Lucifer just isn’t devilish enough fun. Yeah, he’s a smarmy guy, but he’s not the kind of magnificent bastard who people would want to drop everything to watch. He doesn’t get a kick out of being an absolute dick to people. Instead the Lord of Hell being a devil may care douchenozzle who has fun screwing over people, He’s a “nice guy” who is searching for meaning while he tries to impress a detective single mom by helping her solve cases. I never thought you could turn The Devil into a Simp, but here we are.

Maybe FOX should just call this show Captain Save-A-Hoe. Because that’s who this guy is. In the first episode saves more hoes than Superman.

Damn. Just Damn.

The biggest problem With Lucifer is that it’s just so FORMULA. Pretentious British guy with a smarmy side and a heart of gold? Check. Love interest single mom with a checkered past? Check. Big Black bald headed chocolate colored Archangel nemesis? Check. She-demon bartender to tell all out his troubles to? Check. Stock characters revolving around a stock story all done in an uninspired way that makes you tune out. iZombie does all this cop show stuff with a fresh perspective that’s fun to watch.

Fox’s Lucifer has nothing on my imagination. In my head Lucifer is a guy who looks and sounds like Keith David in a red designer suit. He’s having fun while matching wits with John Haynes and his sexy secretary E’steem. And E’steem looks and sounds like Salli Richardson. My Lucifer is a dick with his balls securely attached and will fuck anyone over who tries to get in his way. In my stories Lucifer is a lion who roams the jungles of New York City seeking whomever he may devour and is having a grand old time doing it, not this lamb driving around Hollywood trying to find his way on earth as he saves hoes. If you really want to have some devilish fun, turn off the TV and read The Temptation of JohnHaynes.  


  1. ...maybe you shouldn't read the comic that this show's based on either. Based on my limited memory on it, I don't think it'll appeal to you any better than its live-action adaption.

    1. If the show is just like the comic then it's gonna be total weaksauce. My version of charm and more personality than the Lucifer on Fox.