The Halle Berry Baby Mama Drama…Part Umpmillion: END OF THE ROAD!

Welp, we knew how this was gonna end.

Just this week, Halle Berry filed for divorce to end her marriage to Oliver Martinez under the pseudonym Hal Maria. But anyone who could connect the dots regarding Halle Berry’s previous relationships pretty much figured out this was gonna be the outcome back in 2010 when she got involved with Ollie.

All anyone has to do is look at the string of dudes TEH HALLE has left behind in her wake of relationship failures to figure out what was going to be the eventual outcome.

Just like clockwork right around the five-year mark in the relationship is where Ol’ Halle gets tired of the men she involves herself with. And that’s when she puts them out on the curb for the garbage man to pick up at 6 AM.

With Ollie giving Halle’s daughter Nahla a baby brother to play with and giving Halle some laughs when he beat up her baby daddy Gabriel Aubry, the Simp de Tool has outlived his usefulness.

And now that she’s filed for divorce we’re probably gonna get the same old sob storry from Halle. Cue the violins! Soon we’ll hear from Halle telling us all how awful Oliver Martinez is. How he treated her so badly. How he’s so much of a jerk. How he beat her and the kids and used up all the hot water and toilet paper. And how he spent all her grocery money on Ripple and Kools.

And if she follows the playbook she ran on Gabriel Aubry she’ll be telling us how he called her the N-Word and what a racist he was. Funny how Halle loves to revise history when things don’t go her way in a relationship.

Three going on four men (Six if you probably count Michael Ealy and Wesley Snipes) tell the exact same story about Halle. And we’re supposed to believe she’s the victim.  

Let’s hope Ollie was smart enough to spend some of Halle’s money on good divorce attorney. And he’s smart enough to call one or two of these men as witnesses.

Yeah, Oliver Martinez was a jerk. And he mooched his fair share of Ripple and Kools with Halle’s money in the time he was living in her house. But hey, what does a broke guy do when he’s offered a free lifestyle upgrade?

Oliver’s pretty much gonna get himself a big payday just like Gabe got when Halle decided to broom him to the curb. Because she makes more than he does he can get himself a nice fat child support check for his son. And because she gave him that lifestyle upgrade he can get himself a nice alimony payment too.

And it’s all legal in Mr. Charlie’s courthouse. Why? Because Halle makes more than Oliver Martinez. And she gave him that lifestyle upgrade. So she has to keep him in the lap of luxury with Ripple & Kools until he marries again or he dies. Whichever comes first.

This is why you Negro women shouldn’t take bum ass White dudes into your house off the street.

All you single successful well-educated Negro women who dream of swirling with Mr. White need to heed the harsh lessons your girl Halle Berry refuses to learn. When you go out and get that White dude to be your Knight in shining armor make sure he makes more than you do. Because when it’s time to divorce your strong Independent Black ass he’s gonna make your wallet fifty pounds lighter in court.

Oh, Oliver Martinez is gonna do well from this divorce. Child support, alimony and an heir to pass the rest of Halle’s money onto when he dies. He’s set for life.

But this is pretty much the END OF THE ROAD for TEH HALLE. After three marriages and a Baby Daddy she’s now a 50-year-old baby mama with crinkled face, flapjack tits, tinsel pubes, a blown out pussy and two kids from two different fathers she’s DONE. In the dating world she’s not DAMAGED GOODS, she’s a TOTAL LOSS. Every man with half a functioning brain now knows what a domineering emasculating controlling manipulative shrew she is. And no matter how pretty she is on the outside, everyone sees how ugly she is on the inside.

Outside of Simps like Bobby “Juice” Johnson Halle’s got a snowball’s chance in Hell of finding another sucker to get involved with her. With a large pool of younger women out there who bring more to the table than old ass Halle most men with common sense will be telling her to move her psychotic ass to the left so they can get with a woman who can actually offer them some respect and cooperation.

When it comes to washed up old hoez Halle Berry is now officially the new poster girl. After three husbands and a baby daddy and two kids by two different fathers, she’s got herself a seat reserved on a bus headed for BUSTDOWN TOWN.