Shawn ROASTS TALES FROM THE HOOD 2

I had been eager to take a look at Spike Lee and Rusty Cundeiff’s Tales From the Hood 2 because the way Keith David portrays the Devil is similar to the way I wrote Lucifer in TheTemptation of John Haynes. Unfortunately, in Rusty Cundieff and Spike Lee’s attempt to make social commentary in between their tales of terror they produce a film that’s so filled with social justice narratives that it’s practically propaganda for the Democratic Party.

I never thought Black filmmakers could produce a movie more racist than minstrel shows of the 1920s.  But here we are.

Tales From The Hood isn’t a horror movie. It’s far left propaganda masquerading as a horror movie. The film opens on The Devil driving in an Escalade to see Dumass Beach, a politician and businessman who is Spike Lee’s and Rusty Cundieff’s stand in for Donald Trump. Beach is developing the RoboPatriot a robot who will be the future of Law enforcement that will make America Great Again. But to make the RoboPatroiot really great it needs to hear some stories from The Devil. Because it’s a learning robot it’ll imbibe the information it gets and use it to go after all those pesky Nigras.  

The first tale Good Golly… Good Gravy. I can’t believe a Black man made this. In their attempt to tell a story about Black racism, Rusty Cundieff and Spike Lee make a story so racist it’s not funny. The story features a white girl and her black friend who go to visit a Black museum filled with racist propaganda. And during the visit the white girl has a fixation on the Golliwog doll, a doll that’s a representation of an old racist stereotype of the Antebellum South. The old man talks about Branding in a sequence that is well, done, but Cundieff’s heavy handed storytelling makes the story fall apart as the White girl, her black friend and her brother go to steal the doll. As the story progress the brainless bedwench and the Whie boy get killed and the White girl…Has sex with the Golliwog doll. And To conclude the story nine months later she dies as she births a bunch of Golliwog dolls in a sequence that isn’t horrific in a scary sense, just horrific in the fact that a Black man produced something this racist and put it onscreen.

The second tale is a disjointed one that involves thugs who kill a reformed pimp. To get at the man’s fortune, the thugs invade the home of a fraudulent psychic. The psychic actually gets powers and kills the guys, then goes out to pimp the white folks in the new body he possesses.  

I guess the moral of the story of this one is that in order for a Black man to achive success he needs to be…White?  Who knows? But the movie goes on as The Devil continues to tell racist tales to make Dumas Beach’s robot get a better understanding of Nigras and why they are bad.

The third tale features a pair of sexually deviant beta Black and Hispanic males who decide to pose as Hollywood agents, drug some women and attempt to rape them. Only to find when they are making their video the women are…Vampires. And instead of the guys becoming undead on the first bite, the women decide to feed them to their past victims.

Clearly someone didn’t do their research.  And they don’t know the difference between Vampires and Zombies. People become vampires after being bitten by a vampire. Zombies eat human flesh to live.

But Cundieff and Lee are so caught up in their zeal to malign Donald Trump they can’t put the basic components together for a vampire story.

Good Gravy.

The fourth tale is the one that REALLY Pisses me off. These bastards drag the name of the late Emmitt Till through the mud to make their commentary about Black people supporting Conservatives and Donald Trump.

Rod Serling this ain’t. In the most heavy handed preachy and misinformed tale, we have a Black conservative with a pregnant White wife who is shamed by family and the ghost of Emmitt till, the four girls who died in the church bombing and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  As the Klan patrol in white outfits and Nazi helmets comes to beat him up, Emmit and the victims of Jim Crow tell him he has to make a sacrifice. And that sacrifice is to die committing to….The Democratic Party.

WHAT THE FUCK?

If only Rusty and Spike knew that the racists who were running the Jim Crow South like Bull Connor were DEMOCRATS. And Jim Crow’s racist policies that made Blacks second class citizens in the country they built were created by DEMOCRATS.

It was towns filled with DEMOCRATS who made up the all-white jury who acquitted the men who murdered Emmit Till. And 60 years later it was a DEMOCRATIC President Barack Obama who did NOTHING when his attorney General let George Zimmerman get away with the murder of Trayvon Martin by refusing to file federal civil rights charges against him. And it was DEMOCRATS who didn’t pursue federal civil rights charges against Darren Wilson or Daniel Pantaleo for the murders of Michael Brown or Eric Garner.  And it was a DEMOCRAT who recently convicted Bill Cosby for sexual assault.

BuBut Cundieff and Lee give those DEMOCRATS a Pass for their continuing and ongoing racism…Because Trump is EVIL.

This was the story that pissed me off the most. I’m no Trump supporter, but if Cundieff and Lee wanted to make a Serling-esque commentary they should’ve used Tales From The Hood to take Eric Holder for his cowardice or take a shot at George Zimmerman by having a character who is praised as a hero for murdering a so called thug followed by the ghost of the boy he murdered.

But that kind of storytelling requires objectivity and imagination. Something that the producers of Tales From The Hood don’t have. They’d rather use the horror genere as a way to shame Black people for making what they believed was the wrong choice in the 2016 election.

FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT. I came here for a Black horror movie, not a lecture on who to vote for. We don’t get that many Black horror movies and Cundieff and Lee BLOW the one rare chance we get by turning a Black Horror movie into a propaganda platform.

As the stories end we get the conclusion of the wraparound story. And Dumas Beach announces his greatest creation the RoboPatriot. And it…looks like the retarded bastard child of the 1990s’ ToyBiz My Pal 2 and Robocop’s ED-209. I knew the budget for this movie was LOW. But that Robo Patriot is a special brand of fucked up when you see it onscreen. Even Robbie the Robot From Forbidden Planet would laugh his ass off seeing that thing.

Thanks to The Devil’s tales the Robo Patriot identifies criminals, illegal immigrants and…then turns on its white Slave Masters. Kiling all the White folks and making A DUMBASS BITCH out of Dumas Beach. Who believes he’s escaped the carnage by getting in The Devil’s Escalade where Satan drives him straight to HELL!

To be taken to the lake of fire by two of the worst demons I ever saw in a movie. Good Gravy. I ain’t seen special effects makeup that bad since the Halloween section of Party City on November 1^st.

Yeah, there’s horror onscreen in Tales From The Hood 2. But it doesn’t provide many chills or scares to the viewer. In this disjointed and uneven anthology, Spike and Rusty are too busy beating people over the head with their Anti-Trump propaganda that we don’t get many scares or social commentary in these horror tales, instead all we get is a lot of unresolved feelings regarding the 2016 Presidential election thrown up onscreen.

The great Irony of Tales From The Hood 2 is in their attempt to make their commentary they promote some of the most racist stereotypes about Black people and promote the worst images of Black people on film. While they take jabs at Trump in Tales From the Hood, they tell stories that reinforce many of the ideas that White Supremacists have regarding Black people. 

The greatest horror of Tales From the Hood 2 is seeing once great filmmakers like Rusty Cundieff and Spike Lee falling from grace by giving us this abomination of a movie. Instead of giving us a solid story and well-developed characters like they did in classic movies like Do The Right Thing and the original Tales From the Hood from the 1990’s, Cundieff and Lee go full SJW by pushing identity politics in the most heavy handed fashion possible in a series of poorly written tales that aren’t very hood or present Black people in a balanced way like the original Tales From The Hood did.  

After Watching Tales From The Hood 2 I’m convinced Keith David could be a great Lucifer in a Temptation of John Haynes Movie. And I’m convinced that with a great script and great co-stars like Salli Richardson-Whitfield and Michael Ealy he could probably make playing the devil his signature role in a Temptation of John Haynes Movie. But after watching Tales From The Hood 2, I can’t recommend this movie. It’s pure unadulterated trash that belongs in a dumpster fire. The only place Tales From The Hood would be considered quality entertainment is in the Ninth level of Hell right after a Who’s the Boss Marathon. Yeah, it’s THAT BAD.