What is a query letter? A query letter is a short one-page single-spaced letter introducing you and your book project to editors and literary agents. In short it’s your calling card, a sample of what you write and how well you write it.
A query letter gives these professionals an idea of what your writing is like. Spelling, punctuation and grammar must be perfect. It’s best to have someone proofread the letter before submitting it to publishers and literary agents.
So what does a query letter consist of? Every good query letter consists of eight basic elements:
1. Heading
2. Hook
3. Title
4. Premise
5. Audience
6. Biography
7. Closing
8. Self addressed stamped envelope (SASE)
2. Hook
3. Title
4. Premise
5. Audience
6. Biography
7. Closing
8. Self addressed stamped envelope (SASE)
I’ll break these parts down into seven sections so everyone can understand them.
1. Heading
The heading is a very basic part of the query letter, however most authors make most of their mistakes in this section. The query letter is the first impression professionals have of you and your writing. If it’s sloppy and poorly written, editors and agents will think your manuscript is sloppy and poorly written.
The heading section of a query letter must follow business letter formatting. It always must consist the following parts:
Your Name
Your Address
Your City, State and Zip Code
Your Phone Number
Your E-mail Address
(Drop down about two spaces)
Today’s date
(Drop down two more spaces)
The Editor or agent’s name
The name of the literary agency/publishing house
The address of the literary agency publishing house
The agency’s city, state and zip code
(Drop Down about two spaces)
Dear Mr./Ms Agent/Editor’s name:
In the heading section it’s very important to address your query letter to a specific person! Agents and Editors receive hundreds of these letters a week. The query letters addressed to “The Editors”, “Dear Agent”, “Dear Sir/madam” or “Gentlemen” go into the “slush pile”. Letters in the “slush pile” are unread and simply sent back with a form letter rejecting the material. This isn’t what you want. You’re spending time and money on this; the least you want out of it is your letter read and evaluated by a professional.
In addition, throughout the letter make good use of “white space “ on the page by using Times Roman or Courier fonts on a 12-point setting. The employees reading these are reading dozens of letters at a time. If they have to strain their eyes to read your letter on an 8 or 9-point font, they’ll reject it without even reading it.
2. The hook
The second part of the query letter is the “hook”. What’s a hook? A short series of 2-3 sentences that capture’s the reader’s attention and gets them interested in reading about the premise of your story.
Usually a hook is very short, about two or three sentences that describe the plot of the story just enough to get the viewer’s attention. A good example of a hook is what you see on a movie poster or on the back of a DVD or Videotape case. If you go to the video store and read the back of the package you’ll notice they use a few short lines on the top of the front or back of the case in bright bold letters just to catch your attention. Why? Research shows that if a product can capture someone’s attention to the point where they’ll pick it up of a shelf or take a second look ninety percent of the time they’ll buy it.
Using what I learned studying movie posters and DVD cases, I created this passage to hook readers in the query letter for my last manuscript, The Cassandra Cookbook:
A pinch of Hard Work.
A dash of Determination.
A recipe for Success.
A dash of Determination.
A recipe for Success.
If you notice, the primary focus of the hook are the verbs! You want to be very selective about the words you use in this paragraph because it’s the one that’s going to get the attention of the editor/agent. Notice the words I used are positive and how they all focus on a series of actions and they tell a story quickly in dramatic fashion:
A pinch of Hard Work.
A dash of Determination.
A recipe for Success.
A dash of Determination.
A recipe for Success.
What does the reader see in the hook? Hard work+ Determination=Success.
3. Title
From the hook, most readers see something can relate to and identify with in their own lives. Most people work hard at their jobs and they’re determined to succeed at them. From the hook, the reader has a sense of what the story is about and is intrigued to learn more. This is where you reveal the title of your book:THE CASSANDRA COOKBOOK
From seeing the title, the reader is asking questions. If you can get the reader to ask questions, chances are they’ll be looking for answers. From this hook and title the reader is asking themselves questions like:
A cookbook that reveals a recipe for success?
What type of success is it?
How can I achieve that success by reading this book?
How does the reader learn more about the story? By reading the premise.
4. Premise
The premise is where the writer explains the story of their book in one or two short paragraphs. The first paragraph details the conflict, while the second explains the resolution. The key to a good query letter is not how much you write, but how well you write. Like screenwriting, the author has to tell the story using the fewest amounts of words in this section.Most people study the backs of other books as a model for this section, but I advise against it. Instead, I use the back of a DVD case or videotape case to model my writing after. The storytelling used in the copy of these video synopses is more attention grabbing than their literary counterparts. Why? Book jackets tell a story. DVD cases sell a story.
What’s the difference between telling a story and selling a story? Why? Because when you tell a story you’re explaining all the key details in the plot summary. The reader reacts by coming up with answers to the premise as they read it. When you sell the story you give the reader just enough details about the plot to whet their appetite. They react by asking themselves more questions. When people are asking questions about your story, they’ll want answers. That gets them compelled to read more about the premise of your story and learn what it’s about.
A. The conflict
The first part of the premise establishes the plot and the conflicts. This part of the premise partially answers five basic questions for the reader:Who is the main character?
What do they want?
Why do they want it?
What are the obstacles in the way of them achieving this goal?
Where is the story set?
When is the story taking place?
I’ll give you an example with the premise of The Cassandra Cookbook below:
Cassandra Lee’s lifelong dream is to take over the Downtown Brooklyn bakery with her name on it when her parents retired. Her dream turns into a nightmare near the eve of her wedding when she learns that corporate giant ITC Foods has other plans for the store and her low down down low fiancé Gerald is caught in the arms of another man.
In the first part of this synopsis we get a sense of the main character, Cassandra Lee and her conflict. In that synopsis, the reader has the following questions answered:
Who is the main character? Cassandra Lee
What do they want? To take over the bakery with her name on it.
Why do they want it? Because her parents are retiring.
What are the obstacles in the way of them achieving this goal? ITC Foods other plans for the store.
Where is the story set? Downtown Brooklyn New York.
When is the story taking place? Today.
B. Resolution
The second part of the premise details how the conflict will be resolved. Here three key questions will be answered:
How does the main character plan to overcome the obstacle?
Who will help the main character over come the obstacle?
What will be the final resolution of the story?
Here’s the second paragraph detailing the resolution of The Cassandra Cookbook:
Cassandra perseveres, acting as her parents’ agent working with ITC rep Simon James to complete the deal. As their professional relationship gets personal, Simon reveals a secret about the deal that devastates Cassandra. Sending Cassandra over the edge, Simon must come up with a plan to heal her broken heart and make her dreams come true.
From this paragraph we have several questions answered:
How does the main character plan to overcome the obstacle? By persevering and acting as her parents’ agent.
Who will help the main character over come the obstacle? ITC Rep Simon James.
What will be the final resolution of the story? Cassandra’s dream coming true.
In the second paragraph of the premise, don’t answer all the questions completely. Keep the reader aksing more questions! Make them want to read more of your story! You want the editor agent reading your letter to request a synopsis, some sample chapters or even the whole manuscript.
5. Audience
This section of the letter is the dealmaker. Publishers and agents are primarily in the book business to make money. They want to know how they can sell your manuscript to the public. If you have a specific audience you want to sell to, detail who your readers are and explain why they’ll want to read your story over one written by another author. Discuss what readers will learn reading your story and how what they read in your book will benefit them.
It’s best to keep the marketing section sweet and short. State who your audience is and what they’ll get out of reading your book.
Here’s an example of the Marketing section I used for the Cassandra Cookbook:
The Cassandra Cookbook will appeal to a large audience of women readers who will identify with the main character. Cassandra Lee's humorous story of perseverance professionally and personally would be inspiring to many women with careers or who are about to start one.
6. Biography
In the biography section, state who you are. Discuss your education and what professional publishing credits you have. Magazines, newspapers, newsletters, zines, and blogs; they all count as credits if people have read them. Detail any awards you’ve won in writing contests. If you don’t have any publishing credits, discuss your personal experiences and how they inspired you to write this book. Just keep it short.
I’ll give you an example of a professional biography by detailing my own below:
Shawn James is the author of the novel ISIS. He has also written articles for The Visionary: News of Morrisania, and the STRIVE Network News newsletter. A graduate of Monroe College he’s been writing for over ten years.
7. Closing
In the closing of your letter tell the reader your manuscript is complete. Tell them how long it is (word count) and let them know that if they want to request extra materials like sample chapters, a synopsis or a complete manuscript they can contact you by using the enclosed Self-addressed stamped envelope inside your package or by writing you via the e-mail address. I like to type the e-mail address again in addition to that spot so people can contact me that way. The last sentence of the closing paragraph should thank the reader for taking the time to read your letter.
My typical closing:
The completed 87,000-word manuscript is available upon request by using the enclosed SASE or by emailing me at shawnjamesatmail.com. I look forward to your speedy response. Thank you for your time and consideration.
(Down two spaces)
Regards,
(Down Three spaces
Shawn James
8. THE SASE (self addressed stamped envelope)
Before sealing up your query letter in the envelope, always include a self-addressed stamped envelope in the package. Always make sure it has enough postage to get all your materials back! In the publishing industry NO SASE=NO RESPONSE!
Now that we’ve dissected a query letter let’s look at the seven components together. Below is the query letter for the Cassandra Cookbook in its entirety:
Shawn James
Shawn James’ address
Shawn’s zip code
Shawn’s Phone number
Shawn’s E-mail
Today's date
Agent’s name
Agency ‘s title
Agency address
Agency Zip Code
Dear Ms. Agent:
A pinch of hard work.
A dash of determination.
A recipe for success.
THE CASSANDRA COOKBOOK
Cassandra Lee’s lifelong dream is to take over the Downtown Brooklyn bakery with her name on it when her parents retired. Her dream turns into a nightmare near the eve of her wedding when she learns that corporate giant ITC Foods has other plans for the store and her low down down low fiancé Gerald is caught in the arms of another man.
Cassandra perseveres, acting as her parents’ agent working with ITC rep Simon James to complete the deal. As their professional relationship gets personal, Simon reveals a secret about the deal that devastates Cassandra. Sending Cassandra over the edge, Simon must come up with a plan to heal her broken heart and make her dreams come true.
The Cassandra Cookbook will appeal to a large audience of women readers who will identify with the main character. Cassandra Lee's humorous story of perseverance professionally and personally would be inspiring to many women with careers or who are about to start one.
Shawn James is the author of the novel ISIS. He has also written articles for The Visionary: News of Morrisania, and the STRIVE Network News newsletter. A graduate of Monroe College he’s been writing for over ten years.
The completed 87,000-word manuscript is available upon request by emailing me at shawnjames_2000email.com. I look forward to your speedy response. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Regards,
Shawn James
Note: Each story requires a different approach to hooks and premises to sell it. This is just the way I like to write my queries and I wanted to give readers who want to be writers an example of how they could go about it.
