Monday, December 5, 2016

CW's Supergirl- The Latest Victim of the Berlanti Curse



Supergirl season 2 started out with so much promise with the introduction of Superman and Miss Martian and the Cadmus storyline. Then the last few episodes started the road downhill. Looks like the Berlanti Curse is right on time for Supergirl.


What is the Berlanti Curse? It’s an event that happens around the half-season mark of the second season of all Berlanti Productions shows. Around that point in the second season the writers stop writing quality scripts and start churning out CRAP THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. The curse started with Arrow in the middle of its second season and on The Flash the last half of its last season. And now Supergirl is the latest victim of it. Seriously, Why can’t Berlanti’s writers produce quality scripts on a consistent basis?


Things on Supergirl started heading downhill with the Parasite episode. Instead of a well-plotted, well-paced episode the writers started slopping things together. I started to shake my head at plot points like Kara recovering from the Parasite Power drain with just solar lamps but J’onn needing a blood transfusion from Miss Martian was just ridiculous. How does someone who is INVULNERABLE and has power to equal Superman’s get a blood transfusion from another INVULNERABLE person with power equal to Supergirl’s? Plain and simple that’s just sloppy writing. In most cases in the comics most heroes recover from a Parasite power drain in a couple of hours on their own. But Berlanti’s writers overthought a plot point that could have easily been resolved in that episode to drag out a storyline between J’onn and M’Gann that went nowhere when the cure for J’onn’s illness from M’Gann’s blood was presented in a L Corp Missle ex Machina an episode later.


What’s even more ridiculous than the Parasite episode is the episode introducing the Cyborg Superman. Good Gravy, that episode is just a jumbled hot mess. A Vigilante with no name and a big gun frames The Guaridan for murder, Lena Luthor introduces a helmet to drain all of Supergirl’s powers, we get told super-strong Daxamites are vulnerable to lead, and J’onn goes to fight Miss Martian for saving his life (there’s some gratitude). And then we get the RIDICULOUS plot point that J’onn being given White Martian blood will make him into a White Martian.


Seriously WTF?


Oh, and in the middle of all this craptacular writing James Olson becomes The Guardian.


Guardian of the Freindzone™.


And the Mangina in a Van Win Schott has enabled him with Super White Knight armor. So in addtion to fighting crime, James will now be able to step in and use that new shield of his deflect all responsibility and accountability that comes Kara’s way.


Just when you thought James Olson couldn’t have any more of his dignity stripped from him, Greg Berlanti and his writers find new and exciting ways to emasculate a Black man.


Damn. Just Damn.


And to prove he’s an equal opportunity emasculator, he’s started stripping the masculinity from Kara’s new love interest Mon-El. Mon-El started came to earth with his balls intact. In the first few episodes he was a hard drinkin total badass dude who even banged an intern in the copy room. Then he talked to Win about Kara’s dating status and bought a first-class ticket on the SIMP TRAIN™.


Damn. Just Damn. I feel bad for poor Mon-El. His time would be better spent banging interns in the copy room at CATCO than chasing Kara.


But this is what happens when Daxamites learn about male earth culture from Manginas like Win Schott instead of men like Jonathan Kent. Mind you Win is the same Mangina who tried to come at Kara sideways with an awkward kiss last season. Following Win’s advice, Mon-Simp is sure to get into a fight with the Guardian of the Friendzone™ over a chance to get under Kara’s red skirt. And both of them are sure to be cockblocked by Clark when he comes back to National City to visit his cousin again.


Oh, when all these SIMPS fail on this show it’s going to be beyond EPIC. Supergirl may have the first CRISIS OF INFINITE SIMPS Meme to ever grace us when Mon-El Joins the Guardian and Win Schott in a place worse than the Phantom Zone, the FREINDZONE™.


At least a DC Character can get out of the Phantom Zone if you have a projector or a Black hole shows up. But when a guy wind up in the FriendZone™ with a female he’s pretty much FUCKED.


Seriously, I’m wondering if  they need to change the title of this show from Supergirl to Captain-Save-a-Hoe. Because the SIMP levels are getting over 9000 on this show. All these guys chasing Kara and none of them realize they just don’t have a chance due to their WEAK GAME.


Part of what makes The Berlanti Curse go into effect is when these CW superhero shows start focusing on the relationship angst and not the action. The last couple of episodes of Supergirl have been bogged down in the lovelorn plot threads of Kara and her now lesbian sister and that’s slowed down the action. Most people like myself watch superhero shows to see heroes kick ass, not to see them make plans on getting some draws. If Berlanti’s writers would learn how to dial down the syrupy soap opera stuff and get back to crimefighting, maybe Supergirl could get watchable again. Maybe.


Supergirl started out as a fun promising show in its second season. But now at the halfway mark the writers are starting to show that they’re out of their depth and out of ideas. With the Berlanti Curse in effect I’m just wondering how bad things are going to get on this show, Night Man season 2 Sucktacular, Buffy Season 4 shittacular, Xena final season Turdriffic, or Arrow Season 3 ASSWRETCHED. Tighten up your chinstraps Supergirl fans, you’re in for a bumpy ride.

2 comments:

  1. I don't know, to me it always seemed like the cracks and breaks were always there from the beginning, they've just run out of repairing supplies at around the time period you're suggesting.

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  2. I just can't believe they're going to another season.

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