Shawn Reviews The Flash Season 3 Premiere

At the end of last year, CW’s The Flash started heading down the road of the Berlanti Curse. And the Season 3 Premiere starts the road down Barry’s Highway to Hell. What was once an entertaining action show is being turned into a time travel paradox where the same story keeps repeating itself.

And the moral of that sotry is: Barry Allen is the biggest Simp to ever grace the DC TV Universe.

In the Aftermath of FlashPoint, Barry is trying to figure out how to make things the way they were in the “good old days” of Season 1. In the “fixed reality” of One Year Later, Cisco is grieving the loss of his brother, Iris and her father aren’t speaking and a new pretentious British guy is working in Barry’s lab.

Someone over at Berlanti must have a fetish for pretentious British guys. First Rip Hunter pops up on Legends of Tomorrow, now this Hipster wanker is on The Flash. This can’t be a coincidence.

Oh, and The Rival is the new villain of the season. Or Dr. Alchemy. Or Barry Allen is the real villain for destroying the timeline and that of the multiverse.

Ugh. This show is such a jumble we can’t even find out who the main villain is.

Worse, it’s turning into a broken record. Barry goes back in time to fix something, breaks the timeline even further. Goes back in time to fix it again and breaks it even further because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Kind of reminds us of Dan Didio doesn’t it?

We know a Crisis is coming for the Berlantiverse thanks to Barry mucking up the timeline. And Barry will wind up missing because of it.

If anything Barry is the ultimate “Nice Guy”. In his attempt to to “fix” the past so he can have a “smooth” present with no conflicts and no problems, he winds up screwing up the futures of everyone else. Showing us all how the “Nice Guy” is the biggest asshole in the room. Trying to fix reality to make himself comfortable, not having the discipline and the character to live life and deal with all its pain, losses, mistakes and failures.

Thank you Berlanti and Goeff Johns for making Barry Allen into a selfish, self-absorbed douchebag. He could have been one of the greatest heroes on TV, but you had to amp up his SIMP levels beyond 9000.

And what’s even crazier about this show is even after screwing up the timeline, Barry is still chasing after Iris West.

Damn. Just Damn. Simpin ain’t easy, but for Barry Allen it sure is creepy. Every time they push that Iris/Barry relationship I get reminded of this book cover:

What Barry Allen reminds me of! 

What was really interesting was how Jay Garrick in a Man moment took him back to 1998 in an alternate universe to check Barry on his nonsense. Playing on the big screen in the restaurant was Dawson’s Creek, the show John Wesley Shipp used to star on almost 20 years ago. And Dawson Leery, one of the GREATEST SIMPS OF ALL TIME was in tears over Joey Potter, the girl he used to pine for in that footage. Sadly in spite of Jay’s words of wisdom, I know Barry is just gonna follow Dawson down his road and join him in the SIMP HALL OF SHAME.

Damn. Just Damn. 

Seriously, Barry Allen is starting to catch up with Thanos as the worst Simp in the universe in his quest to get Iris’ panties. Yeah, Thanos went out and altered reality with the Infinity Gauntlet to get under Death’s robe, but here we have Barry Allen trying to alter the timeline to get with Iris.

Damn, Kryllin from Dragon Ball Z ain’t got nothing on Barry Allen. His Simp Levels are beyond space and time.

What I really find interesting is how Barry Allen can go out and have an interracial relationship with Black Iris West and it’s okay, but Black James Olson has been officially denied his chance to get with Kara on Supergirl due to low ratings. Showing us all the double standard regarding interracial relaionships many viewers have.

Yeah, you can stick a fork in this show. It’s about done. It’s clear to me that The Flash isn’t going to be about The Flash taking on his Rogues and the relationship between them. it’s going to be all about the technichalities of Time Travel and the continuity of the universe from here on in. The same thing that killed Heroes on NBC and made Star Trek: Voyager a chore to watch.

Plain and simple, this is the Goeff Johns show, not The Flash. And that’s why it’s starting to suck.

With this season premiere, the Flash has officially become the latest victim of the Berlanti Curse. The writers are stuck in a rut and running around in a vicious cycle where time travel is turning into a plot device that is sending the series into a downward spiral. Just when Supergirl made a turn around the corner for the better, The Flash starts his run down downhill. After watching the last two seasons of Arrow, I know what’s coming. And what’s coming will be a wreck worse than the last thee seasons of Star Trek: Voyager. Tighten your chinstrap Flash fans, you’re in for a rough ride.