The Black Man’s Survival Guide to the American Workplace

Congratulations Black man! You’ve got that 9-to-5-job. But your work is just starting Brotha. The hardest thing about getting that job is keeping it. And it’s hard for a Black man to keep that job in the face of a hostile work environment where everyone is trying to get you fired.

Understand Black Man, when you enter the American work place you are BEHIND ENEMY LINES. NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE. And that has nothing to do with your education or your experience. No one wants you here because you represent COMPETITION.

A Black man is considered a threat to everyone in a corporate workplace by his just being there. Why? Because by just being there he represents the idea that Black men can be functional. That they can be responsible. That they can be intelligent, creative and have leadership ability. And that they are the equal to any White Man.

The fear of many White Males isn’t that if a Black Men are allowed to compete with them on a level playing field that they’ll take over a business. No, their greatest fear is that most White men will be shown for the mediocre employees that they are. The power of White Privilege has made many a White Man take his position in life for granted. Sitting in his comfort zone for so many decades he’s become lazy and incompetent. And he doesn’t want anyone rocking his hammock or knocking him out of the comfortable spot he’s in.

Because rocking his hammock means he has to wake up. And see the truth about his sorry position in life. And when he realizes that the Black man who is supposed to be behind him is running neck and neck with him for his job or is leaving his sorry ass in the dust when it comes to skills, that means he has to step up his game.

And he’d rather get back to sleeping in that hammock. Because stepping up his game means that he has to WORK. Most of these American White males today are so spoiled and entitled they think they’re supposed to get high paying management positions by just showing up. And when they get on these jobs they’re just supposed to do the minimum to get paid. No innovation, no creativity, Just do what dad did, show up and get paid.

You see Black man, the American workplace is a White Supremacist institution. It is a place made by White males for White males. And that institution has an unwritten social hierarchy. In that world nigger men are only good for the following jobs: Security guard, mailroom, and janitor. Out of sight, out of mind, and out of the way of progress.

But Brother, if you managed to work your way into a job outside of those three positions, you lucked out. But your greatest challenge is coming up. And I’m going to help you overcome the obstacle course and survive

Don't get comfortable. Black man, understand that your employment is NEVER STABLE. You can be fired at any time for any reason, and people at work are looking for any petty little reason to get rid of you.  So don't get too comfortable at any place you work. Companies aren't loyal to you, so don't be loyal to them.  Do your job, stack your chips and save your money
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Keep looking for a job/Work on your side business. The average job for anyone is two to three years these days. But it can take a Black man four to five years to find a job after losing one. To keep from being stranded in long periods of unemployment, always look for work even when you have a job. And if you have a small business venture make sure you work at it like a regular job too. This secondary form of income may be the only way you make money during those down periods. Don't depend on any job as a sole source of income!

Treat every day at work like it’s your last.. Black man when you get that job Stack your chips. From your first day, start putting money away. You never know when you’ll get terminated. So make sure you build up a nest egg to cover at least six month’s of bills.

Get yourself a side hustle.  Black Man, understand that your employment is never stable. You can be fired at any time for any reason. So don’t count on your 9-to-5 as your primary source of income. Make sure you have something you do on the side like a second job or a weekend small business start-up. If you ever get let go from your job this will be your backup source of income.

Be on the lookout for Manginas. Brother, the Mangina is your number one enemy in the workplace. This is the guy who has an ear to the grapevine and is looking for juicy gossip to take back to supervisors. And he uses that information to get you fired.

At the workplace the Mangina He appears to be articulate and intelligent on the surface. But once you get to know him you’ll soon find he’s a mediocre employee who is extremely ineffective and even incompetent. He’s afraid of competing with anyone, especially a Black man. Once he sees you in the workplace his main goal is getting you terminated.

The Mangina’s goal is to try to be a friend to a new Black Male hire in the beginning. He’ll offer advice and even make promises to show a Black man the ropes.

Understand this dude is trying to sabotage you. Remember, The Mangina wants to get information he can turn around and use against you. Don’t give him any information he can use. Don’t say anything he can take back to others. Decline his offers of help whenever possible.

Watch out for Simps. You can find out who this loser is. He’s usually the dude dressed up in designer clothes on the expensive phone. The guy with the expensive luxury car in the parking lot. The guy And the guy who spends half his time talking to the receptionist or the admins.

The Simp is a notorious pussy hound. He’s the fool making lewd comments about women. He’s the idiot with his eyes down a woman’s blouse. The fool busy mixing business and pleasure trying to get a date with co-workers. And the guy who will soon find himself out of work thanks to a sexual harassment lawsuit. To make sure you don’t wind up joining him on the unemployment line, keep your distance from him. There are plenty of places to meet women. And the job is NEVER one of them.

Keep your social interactions at work with women in the workplace professional. There’s an old adage in the workplace: Don’t shit where you eat. A workplace is where you go to get the money to pay your bills and eat. While you may see many pretty faces on the job Black Man, don’t get personally involved with them or their personal bullshit. Social interactions, especially romantic ones with women at work outside of the job can come back to bite you in the ass. All it takes is for your personal relationship to sour and you could be terminated. Worse, you could wind up on the end of a sexual harassment lawsuit. So keep all your interactions with women at the job work related.

Be on the lookout for Hoodrats. Hoodrats are notorious in the workplace. They can easily be spotted by the tacky way they dress or are overdressed. Like the Mangina, these females are mediocre employees out to get a Black man fired from his job because they fear that he’s competition. These women are very comfortable with their position in the White Supremacist corporate hierarchy and don’t want anyone challenging their position of power.

Hoodrats are often found in low-level jobs like receptionist and administrative assistant. A few of the more educated ones work their way into positions like Human Resources or entry level management positions. While they appear friendly on the surface, All of them hate Black men and make every effort to get a Black man terminated from his employment.

These women are very passive-aggressive and will try to sabotage you in doing your work. Whether it’s losing your messages (Use your cell for business calls) losing important files (have a backup) or just being snappy and having a bad attitude, a Hoodrat isn’t working with you, she’s working against you.

Watch out for Coons.  The Coon is another thorn in the Black man’s side in the workplace. Like the Mangina this guy is another mediocre employee who feels threatened by your presence. And like the Hoodrat this guy is extremely loud and has a bad attitude. He tries to intimidate you by yelling and screaming. This is to overcome for his inadequacy in your presence. His goal is to make you feel worthless so he can maintain his semblance of power over you.

The Coon hates Real Black men with a passion. Like the Mangina and the Hoodrat he’s loyal to the White Supremacist hierarchy. He wants a Real Black man terminated. But he wants to make sure he kisses the right butts to get himself installed in your position. So he’ll bide his time until he finds just the right piece of evidence to bring to White Supervisors to get you fired. Then he’ll try to flip the game on you.
With the Coon, a Black man has to make sure he has all his I’s dotted and his T’s crossed. Keep records and backups of records. Keep all your social interactions professional.

Watch out for people who label you “Too Professional”. When people label you “Too professional,” or “Too Nice”. These are people who are uncomfortable with the idea of a functional Black man. And they’re uncomfortable with the idea that you can do a better job than they can. Mediocre people fear success. And they fear successful people.

Some of the more racist people will say that you’re hostile, have an attitude or that you’re aloof. Don’t take it personal. That’s just them projecting their own insecurities onto you. It’s a sign that they’re scared of competing with you. Moreover, they’re terrified of you surpassing them.

The Black woman is usually your Enemy. In the workplace, there are no friends. But Many brothers lull themselves into a false sense of security in the workplace when they see another Black face, especially a female one. And because they let their guards down they wind up vulnerable to attacks from cutthroat co-workers and saboteurs.

Remember Black Man, You are behind enemy lines. Everyone is to be seen as an enemy until they prove themselves an ally. The same Black woman you work with is competing with you on that job working to get to the next level. And some of them will do ANYTHING to get ahead.

Many Black men have lost their jobs and their careers due to trusting a nefarious Black woman. What most brothers don’t understand is that many of these Black females in the American workplace are afforded leadership positions by White Supremacists. And these women are extremely loyal to that

And these Negro Bed Wenches don’t want Real Black men in the workplace. Because the Black man represents a threat to the livelihoods that are provided to them by White men. So depending on how loyal they are to the corporate Massa, they will make every effort to get you fired.

Watch out for headgames. Your co-workers and your supervisors will try to play psychological headgames with you. If you fall into these psychological traps they could stall your career or lead to your termination.

Some will try to minimize your work . They’ll say things like “You’re improving” when you’re actually doing a great job. These people feel inadequate in your presence and want to devalue your work. The goal of minimization is to make a person feel less than, so the minimizer (who usually has an inferiorty complex) can feel greater than

Others will try to tell you that you don’t belong here. They’ll tell you that you should be working someplace else. Or you should apply for other jobs.

It’s a passive-aggressive way of telling you to go away.

They’re just scared of competing with you. Again, these are mediocre employees who fear having to step up their game and want to eliminate you so they can return to being mediocre. People who are up for the challenge know that they have to keep their game face on in the workplace. They aren’t intimidated by the new guy, they want to work with him towards becoming part of the team. They know that success only comes when everyone works together towards the same goals.

Watch out for Saboteurs. Brothers in the workplace there are people out to undermine you. But there’s a way to counter co-workers out to sabotage you.

Keep important papers off your desktop. They have a tendency to get “lost.” People are always walking in and around your desk and things seem to walk away with them.

Always keep important documents in a locked file cabinet and keep the key with you. Keeps important documents from “disappearing.”

Always keep backup files from your work computer on a separate USB Key.

Stay away from adult websites at work. Stay away from shopping sites at work. Hell, stay away from online news at work. Sure the White dudes and the Black women can get away with stuff like looking at porn at work. But you Black man are behind enemy lines. And the enemy is looking for any minute reason to get rid of you. So that means you  have to keep your work computer clean. Anything you do on a workplace computer is doubly monitored (there may be even tracking software installed on it). And any site you go to that’s not work-related will be used against you to terminate your employment.

Send all your e-mails with return receipt requested and forward one to your personal e-mail account. Print them also. People tent to “lose” e-mails too. And sometimes they mysteriously get “deleted” from the system by IT. Having your own records can save you in case there’s ever a problem at work.

When dealing with workplace contacts always give them your cell number first. This way you can avoid hoodrat receptionists and administrative assistants who “lose” your phone calls.

When you hand paperwork to a supervisor, make sure to make two to three copies for yourself. Bosses tend to “lose” files you gave them. Worse, tend to “forget” you gave them to them. This is a passive-aggressive attempt to make you appear incompetent. Cover your ass and have your insurance on hand before they ask for it.

Brothers, understand that you have to keep your guard up in the American workplace. I’m not saying be paranoid, because even in this hostile territory you will find allies and supporters. But I urge you listen to everything people say and more importantly watch what they do. Learning the unwritten social rules of workplace etiquette will help you keep your job and food on your table and money in the bank.