The Thetas Easter Eggs

I started writing the story that was to become The Thetas way back in 2011. Originally it was to be called, The Sorority, but I felt that was too generic, I then called it The Sisterhood, but I hated that title, I settled on the Thetas. I felt it sounded more like a sorority.

Colleen Anderson is actually one of my oldest characters. I created her way back in 1989 as the girlfriend of a superhero character I created called Blackwolf. I later used her in the early 1990’s in my early failed John Haynes stories.

The Thetas is the first book to feature a single character first-person perspective. Normally when I do first person perspective stories I use multiple characters so readers can have contrasting viewpoints. I feel these contrasting viewpoints allow the reader to be an observer of the action and come to their own conclusions about the characters and what’s going on.

But because pledging a sorority is so personal, I felt a single character perspective would give a reader an understanding of Colleen’s fears, insecurities and feelings of inadequacy regarding the experience.

The Thetas is set approximately about seven or eight years before Colleen met John Haynes in my unpublished book The Changing Soul.

And The Thetas is set 11 years before the events of The Temptation of John Haynes. And for you continuity hounds, The Thetas takes place 40 years after Isis: Death of a Theta and 125 years before the first Isis.

The Thetas was written to work as part of the continuity of stories between the Isis series and The Temptation of John Haynes. Following the story model of Marvel Comics I designed the novel to be an entry point with its own beginning middle and end. Readers have the option of reading it as a stand-alone novel or going on to read other books in the Isis series or reading the book the adult Colleen is featured in, The Temptation of John Haynes.

Colleen was originally supposed to get an expanded role in The Temptation of John Haynes. Unfortunately E’steem’s tale of redemption was just too compelling and Colleen got given a smaller role in the story. And when The Temptation of John Haynes took off and E’steem got a following in 2011, she got the push and Colleen got sent to the back burner.

Colleen wasn’t originally going to be the main character in The Thetas. I originally planned to introduce a brand new female protagonist but got lazy. 

Visually Colleen’s original design in my original sketches eerily looks like a Black Daria Morgendorffer in dress clothes. And her character personality mirrored Daria’s. I found this odd since I created the character way back in 1989 when MTV was actually broadcasting music videos and The Bronx didn’t have cable.

Because Colleen looked and talked like Daria, I wound up making major changes in her for The Thetas. That’s why Marcy and Abby take her glasses in the Rolls Royce. It was a sly way of implementing my Colleen redesign. Not to mention a fun way to symbolize how the glasses were the mask Colleen used to hide behind.

Throughout the story we see Colleen shopping for different pieces of clothing. It’s actually the original outfit she wore when I first created her.  She also wears that blouse, skirt and boots actually make an appearance in one of the middle chapters of The Temptation of John Haynes when she’s leaving him.  

Whenever I write Colleen, she sounds like actress Robin Givens in my head. It’s kind of a quirk I have. To me, Robin Givens has the perfect voice for a Black female sophisticate.

Colleen’s Aunt Margaret was inspired by Hyacinth Bucket, the character British actress Patricia Routledge played in the UK sitcom Keeping Up Appearances.  And like Hyacinth, Margaret puts up a prim & proper façade to hide her dysfunction behind.

Colleen’s Aunt Margaret was a character who sat on my shelf for over 20 years. I never wrote a single story with her until The Thetas. Because Colleen sat on my shelf I never had to dig that deep into her backstory.

Colleen’s father Jack Anderson was inspired by actor Harry Belafonte. I thought he’d make for a great model for a distinguished father.

Dean Mother Linda Carver is inspired by actress Angela Bassett. Angela Bassett has a regal presence that I felt fit the formal demeanor of the most distinguished dean mother.  

Dean Mother Carver’s name Linda Carver is a reference to Lynda Carter, the actress who played Wonder Woman in the 1970’s.

Dean Mother Dr. Reed is inspired by Vanessa Williams. Whenever I watch a Vanessa Williams performance I saw a lot of humanity and grace. And with Dr Reed being the most compassionate of the women I felt her voice best fit the character.

Grand Mother Edna Flowers is inspired by  professor Janet Flowers the woman who taught me introduction to Business and Organizational Behavior at Monroe College.  I learned a lot in her classes and really enjoyed the way she taught business.

Marcia Duvailer and Abigail Montgomery are inspired by actresses Tia and Tamera Mowry. The Mowry sisters and their passion for Christianity gave me the idea for Colleen’s sorority Big Sister. I was a big fan of Sister, Sister back in the day and I always wanted to base characters on the twins.  

Marcia Beaumont made her first Appearance in The Temptation of John Haynes. She’s a wealthy woman who made her fortune in Black hair care. She’s a running gag character inspired by actress Jackee Harry.

The address Colleen lives at  3430  Park Avenue is a nod to the apartment building I lived in growing up as a child 3430 Park avenue in the South Bronx.  I couldn’t fit in #3C to reference the apartment I lived in this time.

The Thetas formal dress and formal demeanor is a nod to the graceful Black Ladies of the 1950s and 1960’s such as Coretta Scott King, Betty Shabazz and Dihann Carroll.

The Statue of the goddess on the lawn of the Theta House is Isis.

Andrea Robinson is actually the former secret identity of Isis from the Isis series.

I used the Thetas as a gateway to bring the Isis character into the modern age.

Rumsfeld and Rosa are an in joke referencing the fictional sitcom All About Nikki featured in All About Nikki-The Fabulous First Season.

 In stories set in the Isis and John Haynes series, All About Nikki is a fictional TV series to those characters. And In All About Nikki stories All of my other books like The Thetas, Isis, and The Temptation of John Haynes are fictional stories to Nikki.

All About Marilyn’s story model has a heavy influence on The Thetas. The All About Marilyn story model was one of the most successful ones I’ve designed. A mix of action, drama and comedy, it’s a story model allowed for the development of multi-dimensional female characters and rich storylines female readers enjoy.

After refining the story model in a screenplay format, I decided to start writing novels with it. I’ve used it on several older female characters such as Isis and Colleen and it’s helped readers relate to and identify with them.  

I didn’t think it was fair that Marilyn and Nikki got the better story model and my older characters didn’t get any of that rich storytelling and complex character development. So I’ve been working hard to give my older female characters a development upgrade.

A lot of research went into The Thetas.  A Lot. I had to remember what I read in classic books like E. Franklin Frazier's Black Bourgoisie, Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, and Lawrence Otis Grham's  Our Kind of People. I also read dozens of articles about the Black Elite so I could make the for the character backgrounds as realistic as possible.  These books were also used to reinforce my points about building Black businesses and wealth in the Black community. I wanted readers to understand that entrepreneurship and self-empowerment were things Black people such as Benjamin Banneker, Madame C.J. Walker and Ida B. Wells used to build themselves up during slavery and Jim Crow, and that Black people have always worked hard to achieve success.

The Book Pledged byAlexa Robbins helped me get a better understanding of sorority life. While Dan Freeman’s video Hazing is for Bitches (one of many great videos deleted when his third YouTube account was flagged and deleted) gave me a better understanding of modern Black sororities.

I read dozens of articles about sororities and visited dozens of websites to get a better understanding of sorority life. I wanted to make the pledge experience feel as real as possible. Many of the activities pledges participate in are to build character and to help them form a strong relationship with their fellow sorority sisters.

My original plan was to present The Thetas as a dark dysfunctional picture of sorority life. But around 2AM one night God told me I was going in the wrong direction.  Listening to him for the second time (the Cassandra Cookbook was the first) I changed the direction of the book to a more positive lighthearted one.

The Thetas almost didn’t get published. After I wrote this story, I hated it. Really hated it. In spite of my best efforts I felt it didn’t come together as smoothly as my best work The Temptation of John Haynes and All About Marilyn. In those stories readers could see the elements such as irony, foreshadowing and symbolism clearly. I felt I struggled presenting those literary elements and I thought readers would miss my points about womanhood and female identity.

I also feared many would not get all the artistry behind the examination scene, where Colleen is stripped naked and questioned by the Dean Mothers. I feared The irony of how the supposedly feminist “strong independent Black woman” Colleen was forced to show true strength of character by accepting the support of the Sorority sisters after falling on her face would go over people’s heads. The way I saw it some would take that scene and sexualize it. When my point was about how the emotionally vulnerable Colleen showing the strength of character to swallow her pride and realize she needed help.

I was also uncomfortable about the references to masturbation, pubic hair waxing and feminine hygiene. With The Theatas being a Young Adult novel, I feared many teenage girls and young women would get offended regarding my views about female health.

The way I see it more women, especially Black women need to get a better understanding of their bodies and how to care for them. Too many Black women who grow up today are taught from an early age to be ashamed of their bodies by Mothers who are ashamed of their own sexuality.

I believe it’s this sexual shame is what prevents generation after generation of Black women from learning how to care for their bodies properly.  Many Black women need to understand that their bodies aren’t nasty, they’re natural. I feel if more Black women start talking about their bodies and see them as natural instead of in a sexual objectified way, they’d become more comfortable with them.

I also wanted to give teenage girls and young women understand that certain types of clothing like thongs, and g-strings weren’t sexy in and of themselves. Underwear has a form and function. Any sexual connotation placed on Women’s lingerie is something Madison Avenue And Hollywood use to sell products to men and women.

The way I see it, the sexualization of these garments is what prevents many from wearing them for the right reasons. Sometimes a woman needs to wear a thong or a g-string under a close fitting or low-rise garment, or to get more freedom of movement under her clothes.

One of the things I make an effort to do in my stories like All About Marilyn, and The Thetas is to desexualize female nudity. I really want girls to understand that while they are sexual, their bodies aren’t sex objects. It’s a person’s actions that are sexy. Sexy is a state of mind.  A nude body by itself is not sexy. It is the person’s actions while nude that can be considered sexual.

Because I was so disappointed with The Thetas I planned on abandoning the script. But since I put over two years worth of work into it, I decided to let the audience decide whether they liked it or not.

And to my surprise the audience likes it a lot.

The eBook version of The Thetas with over 1,000 downloads since I published it in May 2013. I was surprised with the numerous enthusiastic five-star and four-star reviews the book has received. I had no idea that the book would be that well received.

I’d love to do a paperback run, but I just don’t have the cash right now. Maybe if I start getting more sales I’ll see about offering a paper version to readers. 

Until then, You can pick up a copy of The Thetas for Kindle today! 

Shawn Reviews Tech Talk

I spent a few hours this weekend listening to Tech Talk, a new show on Blogtalk radio.

Tech Talk is hosted by Tyrone Thompson and JM McSwain and these two brothers discusse Information Techology and computers from an African-American point of view. The first episode was rock solid with a great discussion about Internet security.

As an old head who has been working with computers from back in the Commodore 64 NEC TREK BASIC days where we had DOS and 5.25 floppy disks, I found this show to be very informative and educational. I learned a lot about hackers, and how they pose a threat to computer users on a variety of networks. McSwain and Thompson have a strong knowledge of IT and break down all the jargon into plain English so that the average brother or sista can get an understanding of what’s going on with computers.

McSwain and Thompson said they came up with Tech Talk as a way to get more African-Americans discussing IT and exploring careers in the IT field. I believe it’s a program that’s right on time for the Black community. There aren’t enough African-Americans thinking about IT or careers in IT. And with everything being computerized, that’s going to be a huge disadvantage for Black people in the next five to ten years. Brothers and sisters have to start thinking about focusing on careers in the IT field yesterday!  

Future shows will be broken into 4-30 minute segments where they discuss various topics in the IT field.  Tuesday’s show will have  will be about Tech News,  Black inventors in IT Fixing your computer problem and the final segment will be a versus segement between the Iphone vs the Obama phone the pros and cons of both. You can call in and talk to JM and Tyrone at  (858) 357-8453 call us and tell us about your computer problem and finally.

I believe that’s a good format that will allow them to discuss various topics and share information effectively with the listener. Last week’s show went off on a tangent in the last few minutes, but I believe the structure they’re establishing will allow them to stay on topic.

Brothers and Sistas, if you want to learn about Technology and the IT field, then check out Tech Talk It’s on Tuesdays and Thursdays on Blogtalkradio. You can listen to it live or do what I do and download it to your laptop, ipod or smartphone and listen to it later.  This is a great show that will inspire young brothers and sisters who want to pursue careers in IT and who want to learn more about computers. 

Isis: All About The Goddess Chapter 2

Marilyn is a bundle of nerves as Joe, one of the security directors for the Next School Campus Police finishes his report. He looks her up and down contemptuously before confirming all the details she told him about the incident earlier.

“You say you found this in your mail cubby when you came in here Ms. Marie?” Joe growls as he presents her with the note again.

“Yeah. Amy hadn’t done the mail yet and it was just there.” She replies.

“Are you sure you didn’t put it there?”

Marilyn’s eyes grow wide on the accusation as her face twists into a scowl. “Why would I put a picture like this in my own cubby?”She bristles.

“Well, you Hollywood types are always looking for attention.” Joe snarls.

“Dude, I quit acting over a year ago-”

“Maybe you’re thinking about making a comeback?” Joe jabs.

Like the tabloids would care about an R List celebrity like Marilyn. If she’s been modeling nude in an art studio for over a year with no press, then there’s no money in taking photos of her and selling them. The window for some cheap heat through the papers already came and went.

“I doubt Marilyn would waste our time with a false threat.” Chris replies.

“These celebrities are notorious attention whores Professor.” Joe snarls. “Especially washed up ones like her.”

“Joe, you’re out of line-”

“Whatever Professor. Look, I’ll file this report with campus security and forward a copy to the police precinct. If this guy strikes, we’ll have a paper trail.”

That doesn’t seem like an effective plan of action for protecting a student who’s been threatened by a potential stalker. “Aren’t you going to do something?” I inquire.

“Not much I can do until this crazy strikes miss.” Joe growls. “All I can tell the movie star here to do is to go home and wait until this blows over.”

Marilyn cocks an eyebrow. “Dude, I can’t just go home. I’ve got a test in a few hours-”

“Work that out with your professors. It ain’t got nothin’ to do with me.”

Joe stuffs the note in his file, jumps off the sofa and storms out of the office. Chris gives Marilyn a concerned look as he sits beside her on the sofa in the reception area. The cold way this girl has been treated by the Next School’s safety office is egregious. We’d never leave a girl so unsupported in the face of danger on the Spelman Campus or at the Theta House.

“In all my time in L.A. I never had a stalker.” Marilyn sighs.

“Most people were probably scared you were just as vicious as the character you played on TV.” Chris says.

“Yeah, no one wanted to mess with Nikki.” Marilyn replies.

“But they love to start with Marilyn.” I say.

“That’s the story of my life.” Marilyn sighs. “One year into art modeling I get the crazy on campus.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go home?” Chris asks.

If she gives up, the crazy wins. And from what Chris has told me about Marilyn, she’s worked too hard to rebuild her life to have someone tear it down again.

“I can’t. I have a test in two hours. And a four o’clock studio session with Professor Lewis in Figure Study 101.”

There’s that fighting spirit. “You probably need the money from both these jobs to pay your rent.” I say.

“Pretty much. If I don’t work, I don’t eat.”

“I think you can work in the office full-time until this blows over.” Chris says.

“I’d love to, but I don’t want to put you in a jam.” Marilyn continues. “The way models quit around here, you’re lucky most of the figure study classes actually do go on.”

“Even when she’s in trouble she’s always thinking about others.” Chris laughs. “I told you this girl is a sweetheart Edna.”

It’s clear to me she is. If anyone deserves the help of a goddess, it’s her.

“She reminds me of my granddaughter.” I say reaching into my purse for my cell phone. “I think I know someone who can fill in for Marilyn in your four o’clock class Chris. Just let me make a call.”

Isis: All About The Goddess will becoming Thanksgiving weekend to Kindle! Paperback in time for Christmas!  

Racial Profiling at Barneys- More Brothers and Sisters need to Start Standing Up to This Nonsense!

I was reading about Trayon Christian and Kayla Phillps, the two African-American customers who were racially profiled at Barneys here in New York. Hearing about their experience at the flagship store of this retailer angered and disgusted me.

But I was happy to hear that Taryon Christian, was SMART enough to take his respect. After being taken down to a police station and being questioned about the validity of his debit card and where he got his money, the next day he went right back to that store, returned that $345 belt and filed a million dollar discrimination lawsuit against Barneys.

That’s the kind of kick in the nuts the racists at Barneys need. If you can’t respect Black dollars then it doesn’t make sense for Black people to shop there.

Moreover, we brothers and sisters need to make an effort to stop supporting businesses that don’t support us. Black people need to stop spending money in stores that don’t value our money. And we need to stop spend our TIME in stores where our presence isn’t wanted.

If Barneys doesn’t want our money, one of their competitors like Charles Tyrwhitt or Brooks Brothers will be glad to have it.

Better yet, we need to take our money to a Black-owned designer like FUBU and keep our money in the community.

Having been racially profiled when I shopped, I can tell readers that I don’t put up with abuse from racist retailers and neither should they. When stores like my local Associated Supermarket here in the South Bronx disrespect me, I simply stop shopping there.

And then I tell other Black people not to shop there either. When I have a bad experience at a store I first contact their management and let them know about my experience. Then I blog about it and tell others in social media. I believe the only way to stop racial profiling in retail is for Black people to tell other Black people about it so they can avoid that retailer.

If enough of us brothers and sisters stopped shopping in these stores where we’re followed around, get our money scrutinized or are forced to check our bags at the door It’d change the game. Maybe when these businesses see Black dollars going to a competitor they’d see how racial profiling costs their business.

Companies say they don’t see Black and White but only green. So when those businesses like Barneys racially profile customers let’s make sure that our dollars aren’t seen in their tills.

It’s clear to me someone in Management at Barneys flagship store is promoting racial profiling as a policy. And they’re teaching their salespeople this practice this policy as part of the pattern and practice at Barneys regarding Customers of color.

That person needs to be found and terminated as soon as possible. Not retrained, not sent to counseling. TERMINATED.

Barneys needs to send a message to their employees that racial profiling will not be tolerated. And that employees who participate in this illegal practice will not be allowed to be a part of the Barneys team promoting a culture of discrimination and unprofessionalism.

Black people need to start following the example of Taryon Christian and Kayla Phillps and start standing up to retailers where they are racially profiled like Barneys. Again brothers and sisters, if they don’t value your dollars, then it doesn’t make sense to shop with them. Take your money and spend it where it’ll be appreciated.  There are a dozen Black-owned designers like FUBU and Karl Kani who would love to have your money and support. 

Tech Talk New blogtalkradio show Hosted by JM McSwain and Tyrone Thompson

JM McSwain and Tyrone Thompson have cometogether to start a new Blogtalk radio show called Tech Talk. It's a show with Black men discussing computers and the IT field.

It's rare to hear brothers talking about IT and computers so I really think every one of my readers should tune in, or download the show on Blogtalk radio.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/talkrealsolutions/2013/10/25/talk-real-solutions

THE GOLDEN AGE OF SIMPIN

The late 1980’s were a golden age of art, music, film and even food.

It was also the Golden Age of Simpin.

If anyone thinks Simpin was bad today, they have no idea how much worse it was in the late 1980’s.

Money from jobs, Crack hustles, the Rap game, and even the NBA left many a brotha’s pockets flush with cash. And because most of these Black males came from female headed households, they didn’t think to take their money and invest it in businesses or even to buy a home.

No, because they grew up with their mothers and no father in the home, they adopted her consumerist way of thinking. So they took their money and went out and bought gold chains, Air Jordan sneakers, Gap Clothes, and leather jackets. In the wintertime they bought Timberland boots, goose down jackets, or if your pockets were really fat, a shearling coat.

And of course every guy had to have a car. Usually a Jeep Wrangler or a Nissan Maxima. And If he was really getting broke off selling those crack rocks, a guy would buy a Mercedes 300E, a BMW, or a SAAB.

And the main reason why these dudes spent this money this way wasn’t because they liked this stuff. No, the main reason why they bought all this stuff was to get the attention of females. Because these guys grew up in female headed households and saw their mothers mistreated by their fathers they wanted to make sure they treated their women right. And because they heard their mothers always saying that they never had enough money to take care of things because their fathers walked out on them, the way they saw it they were going to solve all their problems with the women they involved themselves with by having lots of money to take care of her.

As these brothers started making moves on girls, they put women first. Worse, they led with their wallets instead of their personality, character, and confidence.  The mantra of the late 1980s-early 1990s was “you needed money to get a girlfriend.” And guys made sure to show how much money they had to women. It wasn’t common to see a dope boy in the neighborhood running around this time with four or five pairs of Air Jordans, Air Force  and Air Force I sneakers in multiple colors to show he had it. And it wasn’t common to see a guy driving around in an expensive car with a boomin sound system the whole block could hear to show women he had it either. To top things off, many a drug dealer, aspiring rapper or even a guy working a nine to five would run around with not only these expensive toys, but a roll of cash in hand.

Before around 1986, a guy did not need to open his wallet to get the attention of a female. All he had to do was just be himself and the girls would come to him.

And dating was fun. Because it wasn’t about money, but because it was about the good times people shared and finding out if you were compatible with each other. Before 1986, a guy could take a girl out to a movie and McDonald’s and have a great evening for around $20.

But as soon as that drug loot from crack cocaine started flowing in the Black community women stopped chasing the working class educated professional guys and started chasing the dope dealers with the fast dollars. Not because they liked him, but because they wanted to see what they could get out of him.

Most sistas and even many Latinas knew that most of the drug dealers were weak guys. They knew because they came from single parent female headed households that they’d put a woman first. And because they’re so thirsty for female companionship and the possibility of sex, they’d give a woman whatever she wanted. This was the main reason why Black and Latina females always chose thugs over working class guys. They knew they could get leverage and control of the relationship by just promising a guy some sex.

Moreover, these women knew these guys weren’t very smart. That made them easy to manipulate and very made some easy to control. All a female had to do back then was whisper a little sweet nothing in a dude’s ear and….She’d be broke off with expensive items like Air Jordan sneakers, Gucci purses, down jackets, GAP clothes, and gold chains. Some females would get cars out of these dudes! Because these guys were going to make sure their women were going to be taken care of even if they hadn’t shown they could bring anything to the table in terms of character.

Thanks to these SIMPS, many a tween and teenage girl growing up in the late 1980’s early 1990’s grew up believing all she had to do was show up and guys would give her whatever she wanted. And all she had to do was offer them some pussy and gifts, clothes, shoes and cash would be rained down on her. And thanks to these Simps offering up presents for sex, this drove the price of pussy up to the astronomical levels it currently is today.

Why should a woman deal with the working class educated guy who would demand she bring something to the table such as integrity, character, loyalty, and self-respect when the dope boy would give them whatever they wanted? Why should a woman work towards meeting the standards of a man to show she could be worthy to be his wife when a dope dealer with money who had no standards whatsoever was offering her a lavish lifestyle just for being born light skinned or Puerto Rican and pretty?

The main reason women are so low grade and disrespectful in the Black community today is because over 25 years ago, dope dealers, rappers and every other Negro male back in the day was willing to pander and grovel to Black and Hispanic females back then in the hopes of getting her to notice her.

The truth was the dope boys, the thugs and the bad boys were the original SIMPS. Back in the late 1980s early 1990s they were considered the cool dudes because they could give a woman whatever they wanted.

 But in reality they were just tricks paying for pussy.

The Golden Age of Simping made many a female think she was living large. That fast drug loot and rap money gave many a teenage girl or a woman a lifestyle upgrade. It gave her a swelled head and made her think she didn’t have to work for anything. This is why many a female today runs around with a sense of entitlement in the Black community. She’s been spoiled rotten by Simps who will buy her anything just in the hopes of getting pussy.

Unfortunately when crack went out of vogue in the early 90s, the gravy train was over. And when the dope boys who weren’t killed in the shoot outs over turf were arrested and put in federal prison for 10 to 25 years, these females found themselves without a source of income. And with their children’s fathers either dead or incarcerated, these women pampered and spoiled by SIMPS had to make it on their own.

Many realized how fucked up their situation was because they dropped out of high school to get with these dope boys. Some tried to get jobs, and found thanks to their lack of education all they could get was work at fast food places and retail. Those who didn’t want to work got pregnant and hoped to get on public assistance and milk that system dry just like mama and grandma did. Unfortunately, those females soon found out that the free ride they enjoyed was also over when the Welfare Reform Bill was passed by President Clinton.

The Simp is the primary reason we have the Baby Mama epidemic in the Black community today. Twenty-five years ago he was the guy flashing the cash in the hopes of getting the attention of females. And when he started spending and making like he was a big shot to impress her everything was cool.

Until she told him she was pregnant.

Again, if he wasn’t killed in turf wars or sent to prison, the rest of these Bitch-Made ™ cowards simply high-tailed it out of wherever they went. Scared and overwhelmed at the prospect of being a father, these punk ass baby boys realized that they couldn’t deliver on the man-sized promises he made to the females he stepped to.

Many a female who thought she was being played by a player in the late 80s and early 90s was in actuality tricked by a SIMP. These guys were the ones who were ready to buy a woman whatever she wanted when he was getting pussy out of the deal. But when the baby came along, he was gone. Because his prospect of getting pussy for his pay was over with that female.

Brothers and sisters, you see it was the Golden Age of Simpin that created the dysfunction that currently ails the Black community. These Simps were the ones who used their wallets to pander to females and it was their constant eagerness to please them that led up to the price of pussy being driven up to the astronomical level it is now and the spoiled rotten entitled mindset many women have today. It was their constant pussy begging, attention whoring and woman worshipping that swelled women’s egos and made them impossible to deal with. In their attempt to treat a woman better than their mothers treated their fathers, they created the monster known as the Baby Mama.

The Misadventures of Captain-Save-A-Hoe Chapter 1

Look! Up in the sky!

It’s bird!

It’s a Plane!

It’s Captain-Save-A-Hoe!

*FACEPALM*

What’s a Captain-Save-A-Hoe? A Captain-Save-A-Hoe is a guy who pursues relationships with dysfunctional and deeply troubled women. He believes with his support, guidance, and “loving care” that the can “save” them and change them into the perfect mate for him.

Who is Captain Save-A-Hoe?

§  That guy dating the single mother with three kids by three different fathers,

§  That guy trying to help the prostitute out of a life on the streets,

§  That guy trying to help the runaway find her way after finding her wandering around the neighborhood,

§  Or that guy trying to pursue a romantic relationship with the stripper he gets lap dances from.

Why are Captain-Save-A-Hoes dangerous? Captain Save-A-Hoes enable women to continue on in a dysfunctional pattern of behavior. Thanks to this wanna-be superheroes’ meddling, women never learn to take responsibility for their actions and their lives.

On the surface, Captain-Save-A-Hoes appear to be noble men trying to help a lost woman find her way in life. But in actuality these wanna-be heroes are nothing more than SIMPS scavenging the bottom of the barrel of the dating scene in the hopes of scoring some easy pussy.

Captain-Save-A-Hoes lack the self-confidence and self-esteem to pursue relationships with healthy women. So they scour the dumpsters of life looking for a broken woman they can fix up and change into the perfect woman.

Unfortunately, they’re usually disappointed with the results. Like Dr. Frankenstein, they usually wind up creating a monster that turns on them. Even though they’ve made all these efforts to change the outside of a troubled woman, who she is on the inside remains still the same.

Most Captain-Save-A-Hoes don’t understand that these women they’re pursuing are single for a reason. They’re not mentally, physically or emotionally ready for a romantic relationship. Most of the women he pursues are mentally immature and emotionally unavailable. All are predators looking for someone to take advantage of.

All a Captain-Save-A-Hoe does with his wonderful “help” is stunt these women’s personal growth allowing them to remain in a state of arrested development. Captains have a hard time understanding dysfunctional women don’t want the commitment of a romantic relationship, just the personal and financial benefits from one. And as long as they get those benefits from wanna-be superheroes looking to “save” them, they never have to go out and work for what they want, or go into counseling and deal with their numerous unresolved personal issues.

Can a man stop being a Captain-Save-A-Hoe? Sure, it’s possible for any man to change. All a man has to do is to build the self-confidence and self-esteem needed to radiate the positive energy that will attract healthy functional women to him. 

The Misadventures of Captain-Save-A-Hoe is available on Kindle for 99 cents or FREE on Smashwords starting November 26th! 

Broke Females Trying to get Shawn to Trick on Them

A couple of weeks ago when I was in the Chinese restaurant a girl no younger than about 12 or 13 came up to me and started paying compliments to me. Talking about how she liked my hair and my Timberland Chelsea boots. I brushed it off because she was a kid.

But I knew something was up. Here I was a 40-year-old man. Most CHILDREN do not come paying compliments to men old enough to be their fathers.

A few moments later she went into her pitch, asking me to buy her something. I was freaked out on the request.  What CHILD asks a grown ass 40-year-old man she doesn’t know from Adam to buy her something?

I politely told her I didn’t have it.  She left with her head down. I could care less.  I don’t go along with sick behavior like this.  If your 12 or 13-year-old daughter is walking up to grown men she doesn’t know asking them to buy them Chinese food, chances are one of them is going to ask them what they’d do to get it.  And chances are your daughter is going to do something for that box of fried rice and chicken wings that will make your stomach turn if you’re a parent.

Here’s some parenting advice from Shawn: When your kids are doing stuff like this you get out a belt and chop up some ass like a lumberjack. Because your daughter is halfway on the way to becoming a Hoe. Nip that shit in the bud as fast as you can.

Now I didn’t have it. And even if I did, I still wouldn’t have bought her anything. This kid had a mom and a dad, if she wanted Chinese food, it was their responsibility to buy her something, not mine. 

With me being a grown ass man and her being a kid me buying her something could have gotten me into a whole lot of trouble.  And the last thing I needed was to kick some single Mom’s ass over their raggedy ass kids.

Besides I also know chicks do stuff like this in the hopes of finding marks to set up for robberies. I’ve heard too many stories about broke chicks walking up to dudes asking for them to buy them a meal, then after they do it they ask them for a ride to someplace or to go somewhere with them and what’s waiting for them is a bunch of dudes looking to rob them or kill them and then rob them.

Now that wasn’t the only disturbing situation I ran into with a female. A few weeks before that a Latina chick dressed up in a slinky sexy dress and heels. I’m on my way down the Grand Concourse and 169^th Street and she walks up to me and asks me for fifty cents to get on the bus. 

Looking her up and down, again I said I didn’t have it. The way I figure it if she had enough money to buy expensive clothes and shoes and get all dressed up to go wherever the she wanted to go, she could have budgeted bus fare for her trip to wherever she was going.  

And the most recent incident I had with a begging female was with a fat Black chick who was dressed up in a T-shirt and shorts with a sweater around her neck. She asks me for fifty cents to get on the bus. Again I said I didn’t have it.

The way I figured it in, since both these women were walking, they could continue to walk.  Or they could just get on through the back door the bus like the rest of these broke people here do in the South Bronx when they don’t have enough money for the fare.

Seriously, What’s the deal with women today? Don’t they understand how raggedy they look when they have to ask a dude they don’t know to give them money to get on a bus? Don’t they see how irresponsible they look to a man when they leave their house and don’t have enough money to get on a got damn bus? Don’t they see how bad it looks when you’re asking a dude you don’t know from anywhere to ask them to buy you Chinese food?

Or do they think every guy out here is going to be a SIMP and give them something they ask for just because they bat their pretty little eyelashes?

I really feel that today’s females have a horrible sense of entitlement.  Thanks to all these SIMPS and Manginas out here enabling these females by giving them whatever they want they think they don’t have to take responsibility for themselves.

Any guy who falls for this weak game is Trickin plain and simple. It isn’t chivalrous to give a woman change to get on a bus. It’s just STUPID.  All a guy is doing when he offers that woman fifty cents to get on a bus is enabling these women to continue to NOT take responsibility for her own bad choices and allowing her to think that she has a privilege just because she’s born female.

 If a man didn’t have enough money for a ride on the bus he’d be told to suck it up and start walking to wherever we wanted to go. And if a 12-year-old boy walked into a Chinese restaurant, he’d be told to take his ass to a soup Kitchen and eat whatever was given to him.

 I believe these women need to be told the same thing. After all, that’s what would happen in a free and equal society. Unfortunately, thanks to the reverse sexism due to feminism we don’t have that free and equal society. Today’s American women believe they are VICTIMS when it’s clear they have more advantages then women all over the world.

These same women begging for change have all sorts of privileges that we men don’t have. They can get jobs faster than a man due to Affirmative Action, can get all sorts of government programs like Welfare, WIC, Food Stamps and Section 8. Not to mention money from Child Support.

With all this money floating around and all these opportunities to make money floating around, grown women should have more than enough money to get on a bus or get something to eat. They shouldn’t have to ask some dude on the street like myself for change.

These ladies have no idea how much of a BUM they look like running around asking dudes on the street they don’t know for change. How SHABBY and TACKY they appear to the rest of the world.

If you women can’t get a job in spite of all the privileges given to you by these SIMPS, Manginas, and Liberals, you go get you a hefty bag take them run over Jimmy Choos and start picking up some cans, bottles or whatever. You’re not getting any of Shawn’s money.

Here’s the deal: Shawn doesn’t Trick. Period. Not on females he knows and definitely not on females he doesn’t know.  The way I see it If a woman has enough money to buy herself expensive clothes, get her hair and nails done, she should be able to afford to budget enough of her own money to get where she’s going.

If she can’t that speaks volumes about her character to me. It basically tells a Real Man like myself that she’s got poor money management skills. That she’s not very responsible. And that there’s probably no telling what she’d do for money.

Chicks who ask for change from strange dudes may be willing to offer those dudes a little pussy in exchange for it if they’re desperate enough. So she may be riding dicks before she takes that ride on the bus.  You dudes better start asking some questions if all of a sudden she’s complaining about being broke one day and flush with cash the next when payday is two weeks away.

Guys, You better watch out for these females. If they’re asking dudes they don’t know for change, there’s a chance they may be doing something strange to get it. Now I may not be the one to trick, but there’s a chance to get where she’s going she’s sucking some dick. If her kisses seem to taste salty, there’s a chance that she’s doing something naughty.

Young Brotha JM McSwain-More Than an Entertainer

Wedon’t hear too much about Brothers doing well In the Black community. So whenever I meet a brotha who is going somewhere I make an effort to support them.

Young botha JM McSwain from the Tampa Bay area is making moves in the IT field. McSwain majored in the computers because it’s his passion. He’d like to expand his horizons in the IT field and is currently pursuing his BAS in Technology management along with certifications in PC Repair. Ultimately He'd like to be a strong Black male force that makes an impact in the IT feild.

It’s very rare to find Black men pursuing work in the IT field. The field is dominated mostly by White males, Asians and Indians. And with technology changing the world every day, we need more young brothers like JM working in information technology.

Brothers and sisters we need to get behind JM McSwain He’s taking steps to get to the next level and we need to help him get there. Having taken the A+ 220-60 and 602back in 2009 myself I know he’s come a long way. Those CompTIA Certification exams are tough, and not too many people pass these tests even after taking them multiple times. For him to keep pushing towards certifications in PC repair and a BAS in Technology management, he’s shown that he’s got the drive and determination to get the skills that will make him an asset to any business.

If you have a business in the Tampa Area and you’re looking for a talented young man to work with you towards taking your business to the next level, Check out JM McSwain. You can contact him via his Facebook page.

Respect & Cooperation The Core Elements of a Man’s Relationship With a Woman

Trust is the core of a relationship with a woman. However, to get to trust a man must have two elements: Respect and Cooperation.

Respect means that a woman values a man for himself. She likes him for who he is inside and outside.  She sees something in him that she admires. Something inside him that makes him stand out from other men.

Cooperation means that a woman is willing to work with a man.

How does a man get respect and cooperation from women? By being himself.

A man cannot sacrifice his personal intangibles like his dignity and self-respect if he hopes to receive respect and cooperation from a woman. If a man does not value himself, then women will not see him as valuable enough to cooperate with in a relationship.  

If a man’s internal character is solid, he will get respect and cooperation from women. However, if he shows any sign of weakness or he presents a false face to females, they will not respect him. A man must remain true to who he is if he wants to earn a woman’s respect.

It’s a man’s actions that define his character. It’s that character that women respect and admire. A man who is true to himself will earn a woman’s respect faster than a man who does not.

If a woman does not respect a man she will not cooperate and work with him towards building the trust that’s needed to form a relationship with him.

Many men wonder why the Thug or the bad boy gets the girl. Because these men are true to themselves. They are not afraid to be themselves.

While the decent guy sits there trying to make himself into whoever he THINKS the woman will see as respectable. That’s the biggest mistake a man can make in pursuing relationships with women.

Guys who follow this pattern like Simps think they can spend their way into earning a woman’s respect and cooperation. They’re often disappointed when they realize the women they’re involved with don’t respect them. Worse, they are only willing to cooperate as long as they have cash. Once his money runs out women stop cooperating with him.

And guys like Manginas think if they kiss a woman’s ass and pander to her they’ll get a woman’s respect and cooperation. They’re often disappointed when they find out women don’t respect them and will not cooperate with them because they were too eager to please a woman. When women see that a man is too eager to please her, they take this as a sign of weakness. Again, if a man does not see himself as valuable, the woman will not see him as valuable enough to respect.  

For example, the thug or the bad boy doesn’t care what others think about him. This is why women admire them. This is why women respect them.

And they respect them so much that they’re willing cooperate and go above and beyond in supporting and protecting them. In fact, they’re so cooperative they have no problem submitting to that man’s leadership. They have so much faith in his leadership that they respect his authority.

This is why women are willing to do things like commit crimes for them, and be there for them with bail money when they wind up in trouble with the law.

When a woman respects a man, it’ll be expressed in her words and her actions. She’s willing to go above and beyond for him. She’ll be friendlier to him, kinder to him and be eager to work with him. She’ll show him tact and consideration. She’ll be sensitive to his feelings. She wants to be around him. She thinks about him constantly. She cooperates with him because she knows he sees her as valuable enough to reciprocate that same respect and cooperation to her in the relationship.

In order to earn respect and cooperation a man has to have the confidence to be himself. It’s that confidence is what women are going to find attractive about him as a man. That’s what women will admire about him as a man. That’s what’s going to make them respect him as a man.

The biggest mistake most men make is trying to please women. This is why they fail to earn a woman’s respect. This is why their relationships wind up being so unsatisfying. This is why they wind up being mocked, ridiculed and disrespected by the very same women they choose to have relationships with.

If a woman does not respect a man from day one, she will resent him later on. A relationship without respect and cooperation turns into a relationship with resentment, contempt and resistance.   

Too many guys make the mistake of taking being liked for being respected. Not understanding that they are two different things.

A woman may like a guy. But liking someone is just a surface emotion. Women like lots of men just like they like their favorite color or their favorite brand of shoes. While A woman may smile and enjoy time with a guy she likes, but she will not co-operate with him or have an interest in forming a long-term relationship with him.

Guys a woman like will get treated kindly, but at the end of the day he’ll just be seen as a friend. But a man a woman respects she’ll want a deeper relationship from.  It’s that respect that makes them desire to make a commitment to a man and cooperate with him in building a long-term relationship.

Guys, understand you need a woman’s respect from day one. Without her respect you woun’t be able to solidify the foundation of trust.  A woman cannot just like you, she needs to see something in you that makes you stand out above all other men. It’s that distinct character trait that’ll make her your woman and no one elses’.

It’s Time for the Family to Make a Comeback- Guest blog by Lawrence Cherry

            As an education professional who works in an urban area, I am extremely alarmed by what’s happening to our nation’s children. Children today are not being raised at all. With each passing day, I see parents abdicating ever more authority and control of their children to the State and to the media.  No matter how much support is provided to help them with their children, they always seem to need more. They want Hollywood producers and TV producers to be responsible for their children’s morality. They constantly opine about how TV shows and movies need to be more child friendly because they don’t know how to say no to their children and turn the TV off. They want their children to spend more time at school as they clamor for more before school and afterschool programs.  I even recently heard one of the NYC mayoral candidates speak about how she wanted to have schools open from 7:00 in the morning until 7:00pm at night! When I heard that I couldn’t help think, “In a generation or so we’ll have state sponsored boarding schools for children from birth to 21! That way if raising kids is too much of a hassle, you could just give birth, send your child straight to the school and just visit when you felt like it.” After all, nothing should get in the way of working or anything else you want to do for that matter.

 When the children are not at school, these so called “parents” rely on some electronic babysitter to deal with their kids (i.e. video games, smart phones, computers, ipad, television). Whenever you ask such parents to do the simplest things for their children (who are supposed to mean so much to them), there’s always some excuse or reason why they can’t. They can’t help them with their homework, or come to school functions, can’t pick them up when they’re sick, etc. It seems the only thing they can do for them is provide a shelter and maybe one meal a day (most often something unhealthy from a fast food restaurant or from a can). They don’t discipline either. It seems they don’t have the patience or time for it any more. Most times parents are asking teachers how they should handle discipline if they aren’t asking the teacher to do it for them. The most these parents are willing to do is give the children whatever they want and tell them they’re wonderful (but don’t mean it). It’s to the point where I don’t think we should call people who have children “parents” anymore. Instead we should call them “the child’s adult roommates.”

In the wake of this non-parenting epidemic, our children are suffering beyond belief.  Since most parents don’t spend enough quality time with their children, they are not getting the validation and emotional security that allows them to be independent. The result is a bunch of emotionally needy children who will do anything to get attention. This is why there are so many behavior problems in the schools. I will tell you without a doubt most of the children I have worked with who have behavior problems have said from their own mouths that their parents have little time for them. When these parents do spend time with them they are tired and frustrated and take this out on the child. This makes the child even more insecure because the parent is unpredictable as well as unreliable. This insecurity makes them the perfect target for pedophiles and internet perverts who are seeking just such children as their victims.

Another result of absentee parenting is that our children lack basic skills and common sense. I have seen children as old as 9 who don’t know their own address or phone number, can’t tie their own shoes, distinguish their left hand from their right hand, or follow a set of simple instructions. There are junior high school students who have absolutely no table manners whatsoever. When they get up from a cafeteria table it looks like a group of toddlers has eaten there. There are high school students who don’t know how much change they’re supposed to get back when they buy something from the store. They will stand in front of a store for hours waiting for it to open, before reading the hours of operation sign and realize that the store is closed for the day. These aren’t developmentally disabled children. These are “normal” children, who just aren’t being taught anything. You can’t take for granted that something is “common sense” anymore. These kids just don’t have much adult guidance in their formative years to help them understand the world and their place in it. Many times when I’m traveling about town, I see children sitting beside their mother on a bus or a train and I hear the child saying the most outrageous things (ex. “You can kill people and they’ll come back, right?”). Does the mother bother to correct or explain anything to them? No. She’s too busy arguing with someone on the cell phone or ogling some electronic device. Then if the child gets too loud, she takes out some kind of electronic device and gives it to the child to ‘shut him/her up’.

The worst result of the non-parenting that’s going on is the half-baked discipline being used, which is resulting in a bunch of spoiled, narcissistic individuals who have a hard time establishing and maintaining relationships with others. Our children have no empathy for others and have difficulty seeing things from any perspective but their own. They feel they should be treated well no matter how poorly they treat others. They are unwilling to compromise and believe that every environment they enter needs to become tailored to their unique tastes and preferences. They don’t value contributions of people of other cultures and are xenophobic to a fault. As a result children make more ‘frenemies’ than real friends. Kids just use each other to have access to ‘cool stuff’ and social clout. Bullying in schools has reached cruel and unusual proportions to the point where children are murdering and even mass murdering other children. In other cases some children provoke others to suicide. Even the boyfriend/girlfriend relationships of the teens are marked with more violence and sexual exploitation than in the past. I’ve even heard young girls remark casually about the presence of violence in romantic relationships as if violence in relationships is totally normal. I thought these adult roommates were trying to give their kids self-esteem. It looks like the opposite has happened.

The self-esteem cult has managed to create children with a very flimsy sense of self. Too many adult roommates don’t praise their kids enough, while the other half engage in giving phony praise. This phony praise just sets up the child for ruin when they encounter the real world and have to endure constructive criticism. Most of the time when our children hit the real world at 21 or 22, their first encounter with the real world will crush their spirit and make them feel useless and helpless or they will become that bitter person that thinks everyone is ‘jealous’ of them. The phony praise makes them think everything in life is or should be easy. They never learn the satisfaction that comes from persevering through difficulty to accomplish something. They never learn to earn anything. Instead they think accolades and awards should be given to them simply because they want it. After a while they believe everything is “owed” to them. It is the beginning of the entitlement mentality. They have absolutely no morals, nor any distinction between right and wrong. For them right is whatever they want and wrong is whatever is thwarting the fulfillment of their desire. They become adults who are either all ego or id with no superego to check them or make them consider how their actions affect others. If we don’t stop what we are doing to our children the results are going to be beyond scary.

Part of changing things lies in changing our perception of parenting. We used to take parenting seriously as a nation. Somewhere as early as the 1920’s there were a bunch of women’s lib groups that were shouting a lot of garbage about how raising children was “unfulfilling.” It was grunt work that wasn’t worthy of real women. It was supposedly a waste of their faculties. After all, men didn’t have to worry themselves with such non-sense. (Which was a lie: before industrialization, men had a significant role in families). Real women should be competing with men in the workforce and actualizing their potential. On the other hand, any idiot could raise a child. The self-centered, rich, and pampered women who were spouting this nonsense had a condescending attitude toward childrearing because they never actually raised a child. Their nannies and housekeepers took care of that for them. If they felt bored, it was because of the choice they made not to do anything to contribute to their own home. If you talk to any middle or working class woman during this time, you would have gotten a different story. Eventually, regular working class women started drinking the poisoned kool-aid from these harpies and started getting the ‘desperate housewife syndrome’. They felt bored and wanted to get out of the house to work 12 hours a day for some corporate tycoon. With the advent of industrialization in the mid to late 1850’s, families had already lost fathers to the workplace and then by the 1970’s the mother would follow behind. No one wondered who would raise the children. Why? Because we had convinced ourselves that childrearing was like painting by the numbers: no real effort needed.

Most people you talk to want to thump their chest about how they are “super-mom” or “super-dad.” Sure they get them up in the morning and make sure the kids get dressed and ready for school. Then they make sure someone picks them up from school. There’s the call home to make sure everyone’s there and in one piece. Then they come home from work and check the backpacks for notes, sign the trip slips, sign the homework and look in on the kids before bedtime. They ask a few superficial questions and half-listen to the responses. Then they send everyone to bed and check off the parenting tab on their ‘to do list’ for the day. On the weekends they may take the kids out shopping or something, multi-tasking at the same time. At the end of the day the super-parent checks off another parenting box on their things to do. Then they pat themselves on the back and think they’ve done something. Meanwhile, the 7 year old is being bullied but is afraid to tell anyone. The 15 year-old daughter is sneaking off with a friend to get a pregnancy test and the 17 year old son has a stash of marijuana and 35 caliber hand gun under the bed. The super-parent doesn’t realize all they’ve been doing is the bare minimum, which is less than a cat would do for a kitten. We need to wake up!

Raising children is one of the most important things a person can do. It is more important than creating the i-pad, or other useless device that only serves to entertain and promote anti-social attitudes. Raising children is more important than sending someone to the moon or creating the light bulb. Why? Because all of the great people who did these things had parents. As a parent you are helping to shape the future. Parents are the ones who are supposed to instill moral values, pass down tradition and history, and yes, even teach. As the Parent, only you have the understanding, wisdom, expertise and experience to do this, NOT THE CHILD! The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs, 22:6). This is the parent’s responsibility, not the school and certainly not Hollywood or Madison Avenue. Why aren’t we sharing this with our children? Why are we allowing them to raise themselves? We do so because we are being guilted by the media into doing so.

The media is always out there telling parents that they shouldn’t parent. They label good parents who look out for their children’s interests “helicopter parents” or “tiger moms,” based on a few people that go to extremes. They will tell you that you need to give your children space. If you try to monitor your child’s behavior, they’ll tell you that you’re invading your child’s privacy. If you try to establish mores and traditions, you’ll be told that you’re not allowing your child room to “find out who they are.” If you discipline your children, you’ll be told that you’re hurting their self-esteem. The media does this because they want to be the ones that teach your children. They want to teach your children to buy and be loyal to their products. If you spend time with your kids and teach them your family recipes, your kid may not want that cheeseburger from the fast food place. If you teach your daughter what it means to be a young lady, some company may not be able to sell her their new lip gloss, or those jeans worn by some questionable celebrity. If your son finds satisfaction in Christ and not in worldly things, they can’t sell him the new sneakers or the new techno gadget.

Don’t let the media teach your children. It is their goal to create consumer drones that will feed the corporate machine and make the rich richer. Bring the family back. This is what children need. They need a mother and a father. They need to be connected to caring adults in their nuclear and extended family that will provide unconditional love, support, and discipline. They need time with you to really engage in a conversation and talk about their feelings and what’s going on with them. Despite that fact that many might disagree, I feel they also need to be brought up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. They need to be your priority and not relegated to the sidelines.

Try to live on less or below your means. The main reason why so many parents neglect their children is because they are trying to live out the lavish lifestyles they see in the media. They believe that having lots of material things is the key to their happiness and happiness for their children. I was watching a popular talk show one day and the topic was about children who were from homes of “superparents” who worked long hours to afford the lavish life style. The host asked the children if they would forgo the lifestyle to spend time with their parents. All of the children said they would rather be with their parents than have the material things. ALL OF THEM! As I stated in an earlier blog, children don’t need the latest sneakers. They need their moms and dads. Living below your means will allow you to spend more time with your children. Then maybe mom or dad can stay home and really care for the kids. Living on less shows your children how to be frugal and how to differentiate wants from needs. It also teaches them they don’t need to listen to the Madison Avenue machine, which tries to get us to spend ourselves into debt.  Think about it. Do you really need a large flat screen TV in every room? Do you really need three cars? Do you really need twenty pairs of shoes? Who are we trying to impress with all the finery? Does it mean anything in the final analysis? It won’t make you happy. Just ask some of these celebrities whose lives are spinning out of control.

Tune into your kids. Now I don’t mean you have to hover over them every minute of the day, however, they should know that you’ll be there if they need you. They shouldn’t have to compete with your job or anything else out there. Put the gadgets away when you spend time with them. Engage in real activities with them. Don’t be afraid to have fun and share your old memories and listen to what they are going through in the present. Really learn about them. Find out what their favorite color is, what kind of music they like, and all the different things that interest them. Help them explore their interests and share it with them. In the same way share your interest with them. Make a decision to have dinner as a family every night and special Sunday dinners. This will help you to bond with your child, which will in turn help them to open up to you.

Discipline your children. A lot of parents give their children everything they want and let them do what they want because it makes them feel less guilty about not spending time with their child. A lot of people do it because it’s easier than having to deal with a temper tantrum or teenaged attitude. Others do it because spending money and seeing the children smile for that moment makes them feel like more of a parent. These are short-term rewards that have long-term consequences. Children need discipline and guidance that is clear and consistent. Discipline makes them feel cared for and secure. Remember your children are too young and inexperienced to be making certain decisions for themselves without any guidance. It’s overwhelming for adults to face life head on, so it’s not fair to throw a child out there on their own.

Teach your children. You are your child’s first teacher. You need to be providing the moral center for your child, which, in my humble opinion, should be rooted in biblical values. They need to learn culture, mores, traditions and history from you.  This is important so that when they go to school or elsewhere and encounter dubious people bent on indoctrinating them to a specific worldview, they will have something to reference. There are many people who are out there who know how naïve and impressionable young people can be and are determined to use them for diabolical purposes. It is your job as a parent to protect them from such.

Overall, parenting is an important job. It’s even more important than the President’s gig. In fact, I’d say the President can’t do his job well if parents don’t do theirs. It is not easy by any means.  You can’t get it done in a few minutes a day. It takes a lot of time and investment both physical and emotional. Children are people who need love, discipline, and guidance. They are not toys that you can put down when you get tired of playing with them. They are not trophies that you put in a case to show your friends when they come over, nor are they wish fulfillment tools that you can live through vicariously. They are not glorified science projects or a way to get easy money (i.e. welfare, tax rebates, SSI compensation). If you can’t or don’t want to do the work required, please do us all a favor and have yourself fixed. As an education professional my heart breaks every day as I have to witness countless numbers of children who come into this world unwanted and uncared for. Lot’s of people decide to have children for dubious reasons, but the only reason to have a child is to give of yourself to another. If you’re deciding whether or not to have a child and all you can think about is what’s in it for you, I think you should opt out. Like I’ve said before, children don’t ask to come here. If you bring them here, you owe them a decent life. Peace.

Lawrence Cherry is the author of The Christian Fiction novels Commencement and School of Hard Knocks: The Re-Education of Jim Reid If you liked this blog, please show him some love by buying his books!