Why Manginas Fail at Romance

What is A Mangina? A Mangina is a man who always agrees with women and worships the ground they walk on. The kind of guy who puts women on pedestals. The kind of guys who let women treat them like doormats.

Moreover he’s the kind of Man who behaves like a woman. Usually the product of single-parent homes these Bitch-Made™ men often inherit the worst traits of female behavior. Like women, Manginas are notorious for being insecure, petty, and jealous. They’re also known for being deceitful and manipulative, using numerous unethical tactics to win the heart of the woman they want.

The main reason why a Mangina will fight for a woman’s causes is not to see equality between the sexes. No, it’s all part of his master plan to score some pussy. He figures if he constantly agrees with a woman and goes along with everything she says, it’ll make him look like a saint in her eyes.

Manginas think that by pandering to women and trying to mold themselves into their ideal mate it’ll increase their chances of getting laid. Some think It’ll get them a girlfriend. Others think It’ll get them married.

It’s a plan that backfires one hundred percent of the time.

Manginas think by being everything a woman wants it’ll make him more appealing to women. Unfortunately, it turns most women off.

A Mangina thinks that by constantly agreeing with women it’ll gain him brownie points with them. He thinks that by being their friend and giving her that ear to hear her problems and that shoulder to cry on she’ll grow to love him. Like Captain-Save-A-Hoe™ He thinks that his good deeds will earn him the favor of a woman. Moreover, he thinks a lover needs to be a friend to a woman first.

And that’s why they’re the friend who stands by as the woman of his dreams has a relationship with someone else.

Manginas have no idea that all their actions actually are turn-offs. Once a man is in the Friend Zone™ He practically is invisible to women as a love interest.

The main reason why the Manginas master plan fails is because it’s just DISHONEST. Manginas often play the role of “best friend” to a woman in the hopes of turning the friendship into romance. And the main reason why their master plan fails is because in his role of best friend and advocate to women he often reveals what a misogynist they are  to the women he’s trying to court.

A Mangina’s constant brown-nosing and pandering to women in his quest to appear like the ideal mate is just a way  to deflect attention from his flaws. In his quest to be perfect and please the woman he desires Manginas often suppresses themselves. That suppression of self becomes a pent-up rage  and resentment that builds inside the Mangina making these guys ticking time bombs.

When he’s rejected by the object of his affection he explodes in a rage the equivalent of a woman on her period. This fit is usally filled with crying, screaming, profanity and a whole lot of emotion. Some even get violent. Hence, the title Mangina. 

Most Manginas fail at romance not just for being dishonest, but because they're too passive. Because they're too afraid to go for what they  wants. Because they're too afraid to stand up for themselves and stand out from the crowd.

No Real Woman wants a man who constantly agrees with her for a mate. That kind of brown-nosing works a nerve after a while. To a woman a man who constantly agrees with her is a man with no backbone, no testicles, and no courage.  Women want men to be bold, courageous and most of all ASSERTIVE enough to express their opinions and express themselves and be themselves. Women want a man who will challenge them, who will stimulate their minds and make them think. They don’t want a spineless wimp who doesn’t have the courage to stand up for himself and go for what he wants.

Brothers Don’t be a Mangina. Man up and grow a pair and live life to the fullest. 

Why the Mangina is the enemy of Real Men Everywhere.

The most dangerous kind of SIMP is the Mangina. Manginas are men who agree with women and brown nose-to them to get in their pants. Because most Manginas are raised by single mothers, they often learn to think like a lady. This makes them dangerous when they interact in the social circles of men. Utilizing the numerous deceitful and unethical tactics they learned from women they try to undermine or eliminate other men from the dating scene.

Here are some of the reasons why the Mangina is the enemy of Men everywhere:

Manginas always put women first. Manginas often put women in leadership roles. However, it’s all part of an insidious plan to get into their pants. Manginas often brown nose to women in the hopes that by appearing to be “enlightened” he’ll be their ideal mate. And that by being their ideal mate they’ll choose them over other men.

Manginas always agree with women A mangina has an opinion- That of the women around him. Manginas think that by agreeing with women that women will like them. The irony is that by agreeing with women all the time they lose face in front of them. No woman respects a man without the testicles or the backbone to express his own opinion.

Manginas enable an entitlement mindset in women. By advocating for women so much, a Mangina enables women to believe that they are victims of men in society. Moreover, he makes women think that they are entitled preferential treatment for being born with a vagina.

Manginas put women on pedestals.  Manginas see women as soft delicate creatures who have to be worshipped like goddesses and queens. In a Manginas’s world women are absolutely perfect and can do absolutely NO WRONG. This gives women swelled heads and make them think they are always right when they are wrong.

Manginas refuse to see women as human beings with flaws. Moreover, they don’t understand that women are resilient creatures who can withstand things like failure, loss and pain.

A Mangina hates being a man. Being raised by bitter single mothers, A Mangina is programmed from day one to think all men are monsters. So he tries to be the opposite of his “evil” father and every other man who harmed his mother. What he doesn’t know that by not trying to be like his father is simply self-hatred.

Manginas often harbor resentment towards other men. Because they’re Bitch-Made™ Manginas have inferiority complexes when in the company of other men. These insecurities make them envy men who are secure and confident enough in their manhood and believe enough in themselves to go for their dreams.

Manginas think they are better than other men. Thanks to the Bitch-Made™ socialization he got in childhood, a Mangina thinks that by being raised to be the opposite of his “evil” father he is superior to other men and is absolutely perfect. In a Mangina’s eyes he is the “ideal” mate for a woman because he has learned to not be like his father from his mother. They think because of their “enlightened” mindset that women will see them as the perfect catch.

A Mangina is insecure in the circles of other men. Because a Mangina is Bitch-Made™ He feels uncomfortable in the presence of other men. It’s not common for a mangina to avoid other men in places like locker rooms, bars or other places men congregate. Mangina’s don’t see other men as friends but as the enemy.

A Mangina is a gossip. Usually when men talk, what’s said stays between those two men or that group of men. But a Mangina is the kind of man who puts other men’s business in the street. When he gets some juicy gossip, he blabs it everywhere. And in most cases he uses it to his advantage to eliminate male competition in his quest to win the woman of his dreams.

Manginas are notorious for being petty and passive aggressive. While most men can respect another man, a Mangina can’t appreciate other men. Much like the females he was raised by, he’s often but afraid to express that resentment to someone directly. Because they’re spineless, Manginas won’t say something to another man face-to-face. No, they’ll do it in cowardly ways like making snide comments to women behind a man’s back or mocking them passive aggressive ways.

A Mangina is a liar. A Mangina rarely ever tells the truth. His Single Mom taught him from birth that lying gets him whatever he wants. Watching her manipulate and lie to men, he’s learned to use this tactic in his master plan to get whatever he wants.

Manginas think they are entitled to relationships with women. Most Bitch-Made™ Manginas think they are the perfect man for a woman.  Unfortunately, they don’t get much action. This frustrates them because they’ve been told by their Single mothers that they’re absolutely perfect for women and most women should want them. Thanks to this lie told to them by mom, most Manginas think that they’re entitled to the woman of their dreams. Moreover, they make them think that women are just supposed to throw themselves at them because they are good and perfect. Then they enter the real world and wind up experiencing a rude awakening when most women pass him over.

What most Manginas don’t understand is that no one is entitled to a relationship with anyone else. Moreover, if a man wants a relationship with a woman, he has to go out and get it. Dating is active not passive, and if someone wants to pursue someone, they have to state their intentions.

A Mangina is jealous of another man’s relationships with women. While Real men will be proud of seeing a man having a relationship with a woman and be happy for him, the Mangina will often be resentful of the happiness he sees transpiring in front of him. In the Manginas eyes he is the only man who should be happy with a woman.

A Mangina is a sneaky son of a bitch who always goes behind other men’s backs. Real men discuss things face-to-face. A Mangina always goes behind other men’s backs. Worse, when he gossips about men, he takes the information he gets to other men, like his enemies.

Manginas are notorious backstabbers. When dealing with a Mangina, always look out for the knife in his hand or in his hip pocket. Manginas are known for earning a man’s trust and then using their own information against them to either persuade a woman to betray her boyfriend or to take a man’s job or business contacts.

Sometimes they’ll suggest a guy do something like cheat on his girl and then when the guy does it he goes off and tells the girlfriend so he can get a shot at her. In other cases he’ll suggest a guy go off and do something illegal at work, then flip him over to the boss to get the guy’s job.

Manginas try to eliminate the competition. Manginas gossip with men and women. But the goal of amassing that information is to use it against the men he befriends so he can pursue the women he wants. Like a MeanGirl™ a Mangina thinks that manipulation and lies are justified in his quest to win the object of his affection.

Manginas use a variety of unethical tactics to get men out of the picture of a woman they want to pursue.

Manginas Love to Play Matchmaker. A Mangina is the kind of guy who has his ear to the grapevine. Because he’s best friends with many women he knows when those women are interested in a dude. If he’s interested in that same woman, he’ll try to eliminate his competition by trying to “hook up” the unsuspecting man with another woman.

Guys who know better understand that no man is going to help them make a love connection with a quality woman when he could have that woman himself.

However, less seasoned men can’t see through this Trojan Horse™ attack and think the Mangina is acting in their best interests.

Usually he sets the unsuspecting man up with a woman with an ugly personality and even uglier character. He hopes that if the guy has a bad date with said woman that word will get back to the object of his affection and she’ll be turned off and stop pursuing him. That makes him look more like a prize to the women he wants to get with.

Manginas pander to women by pretending to be their best friend. Manginas think by coming through the back-door they have a shot at a relationship. They think that by being a friend to a woman first they can become a lover later on. It’s a plan that usually backfires when they wind up in the friend zone permanently. Because Manginas lack the testicles to state clearly what they want from a woman, they wind up frustrated watching as the woman of his dreams pursues other men.

What Manginas don’t understand is that while a Man is a woman’s best friend, it’s his honesty and integrity from day one that draws a woman close to him. By clearly stating what he wants from a woman in the beginning, he shows that he is a man who is confident enough to go for what he wants. And it’s that confidence that women find attractive about him.  

Manginas love to turn men against other men. To separate a man from his friends, Manginas play like “Mean Girls”. They’ll dig up dirt on said man and spread salacious rumors on him. He hopes this will make the man who he’s jealous of appear weak in their presence and make other men disassociate from him. And while he’s discrediting said man, he’s making himself out to be a great hero and a best friend to the group. In the cases of extremely weak males, the Mangina will take the role of leader of the group.

Manginas are cowards. Manginas don’t have the backbone to step to a woman face-to-face and state their true intentions. No, these guys are the kind to hover around a woman playing their “Friend” in the hopes of getting with the woman of their dreams.

They’re also the kinds of guys who sneak around their friends backs and take their jobs or steal away their business contacts. These spineless jellyfish slither around poisoning the lives of all those around him and slip away to the next group of victims.

Manginas can dish it out but can’t take it. Manginas love to do all types of underhanded tactics to undermine men and women, but when they get their hand caught in the cookie jar, they turn into blubbering babies. It’s not common for a Mangina to run away when confronted by Real men. And it’s even more common for them to turn on the waterworks and start crying when the truth is revealed about them to women.

Manginas can’t take rejection. A Real Man may hurt for a while about rejection, but he will get over it and move on. A Mangina on the other hand can’t handle anyone saying no to him. When he gets rejected he goes CRAZY. Watching a Mangina lose his temper is akin to watching a woman during her period. He’s surly moody and will explode at someone for absolutely no reason. Sometimes he’s prone to violence. In extreme cases he bleeds from the crotch.

Manginas are victims. Real Men chalk up whatever losses they have in life. But a Mangina believes himself to be the victim of EVERYONE. Everything in his life happened due to someone else, and he’s never responsible for any of his actions.

Manginas are miserable and want others to join him in his company. Because a mangina can’t have happiness in their lives due to the lies told to him by his single mom and the entitlement issues she gave him, he tries to sabotage happy people. He usually does this utilizing numerous tactics such as gossiping, rumor mongering and emotional and mental manipulation.  

Manginas aren’t happy with themselves and they want others to join them in their misery. So they cause drama in other people’s lives so they’ll appear inferior as compared to his place of pseudo superiority.

Watch out for Manginas. They look like men and talk like men, but they act like women. That’s what makes these predators extremely dangerous. These cowards work behind the scenes getting your information and using it against you in the dating scene and on the job. However, Most Manginas have a pattern of behavior that’s easy to spot. Once you identify it, avoid these losers like the plague. All they bring to the lives of the people around them is drama and stress. You don’t need their misery so avoid their company. 

Reminding all my digital readers that screenplay books also come in paperback too!

  

The critically acclaimed All About Nikki-The Fabulous First Season eBook is an international best seller on Kindle, Nook and other eReading devices. However, I’d like to take a moment to remind readers that this great book and its equally critically acclaimed companion All About Marilyn are also available in paperback.

The Paperback versions feature the same content as the digital versions. However, for the additional price the screenplay and teleplay paperbacks feature pages laid out in an easy to read screenplay format.

Actual  Page from the All About Nikki-The Fabulous First Season Paperback  Click to
Enlarge and read!

Actual page from the All About Marilyn Paperback! Click to enlarge and read! 

Plus  the All About Marilyn paperback has a cool back cover most readers are missing out on!

So if you have a little extra money, I’m urging everyone to give the All AboutNikki and All About Marilyn screenplay paperbacks a try. You won’t be disappointed. For the price of a new DVD movie or a DVD boxset, you can learn all about screenwriting and teleplay writing and how to write your own screenplays and teleplays!

Why Captain Save-A-Hoe Ain't no Hero

 Look up in the sky!

It’s a bird!

It’s a Plane!

It’s Captain Save-A-Hoe!

*FACEPALM*

There’s always one of these wanna-be superheroes in every neighborhood. A surrogate father who takes care of Baby mamas and their kids. Sometimes he tries to help women get away from abusive boyfriends or husbands. Sometimes he wants to be a helping hand to rape victims and survivors of sexual abuse. In extreme cases tries to help out the hardest of hard luck cases like strippers, junkies, runaways, and prostitutes. He thinks by showing these women a little love and support they’ll change and become good upstanding women who will love him forever and ever.

He usually gets rewarded for his all his heroic deeds by getting smashed in the face with Kryptonite laced doo doo.

Or he just gets his ass kicked by his rogues gallery of villains which includes Baby Daddy, Baby Daddy #2, Baby Daddy #3, Her Ex, Mr. Pimp, Thugg Nigga, or Dope Boy.

In some extreme cases he winds up dead.

And he deserves whatever fate he receives.

On the surface, the Captain-Save-A Hoe type guys appear noble. A hero helping out the baby mamas with their kids or giving a victim of domestic violence or a sexual abuse survivor a helping hand. But In reality, Captatin Save-A-Hoe is just another brand of SIMP. And he’s the worst type of SIMP, one scavenging the bottom of the barrel for some ass.

Captain-Save-A-Hoe types don’t have the confidence to approach decent women. No, these guys like their women DYSFUNCTIONAL. It’s how they get power and control in a relationship.

It’s the only way he can appear like a Hero.

Captain-Save-A-Hoe types know dysfunctional women are usually lonely and desperate. And desperate women like Baby Mamas, junkies, strippers, rape survivors, sexual abuse survivors, runaways, and domestic violence victims usually don’t have many options. Having anyone pay any type of attention to them (good or bad) means the world to them. Which usually makes these women easy lays.

That’s what makes these guys absolute scumbags.

Captain-Save-A-Hoe types pretend to be heroes to women, but are actually are super-villains. These predators stalk around dysfunctional situations looking for women to exploit. They’re not helping women out because they want to see them improve their quality of life. No, they’re doing all these “good deeds” in the hopes of scoring some pussy from a scared and emotionally vulnerable woman.

What most women who get involved with a Captain-Save-A-Hoe types don’t understand is that they’re getting into a unwritten “Quid pro quo” (this for that) contract with the Captain. Captain-Save-A-Hoes imply that in exchange for all of their “help” (taking care of the kids, fending off abusive boyfriends, and being pseudo counselor) he is entitled to sex from the woman. Moreover, they’re supposed to live happily ever after in a co-dependent relationship where he gets all the sex he wants in exchange for more of his wonderful “help”.

Sounds sick and twisted doesn’t it?

That’s because it is.

What really makes it SICK is that most Captain-Save-A-Hoe types don’t have the BALLS to tell these dysfunctional women this is exactly what they want from DAY ONE. No, these guys will do all these “good deeds” hoping, wishing, and praying that one day that the woman he’s helping will see how “good” they are and “appreciate all they’ve done for them” and give them a sexual reward for all their “good deeds”.

Usually this will go on for several months or even years until the Captain’s sexual frustration reaches a climax. Then after shelling out thousands of dollars on kids clothes, deposits on apartments or other stuff, he’ll finally muster up enough courage to ask for sex or make a move on said female.

It’s usually then woman he’s pursing will decline his request for sex. That’s when he loses it and reveals the villain he truly is. Denied sex, these guys try to shame women into giving them some ass by talking about all the stuff they’ve done for them, and how they’re not feeling appreciated. And when she still refuses to give him sex in exchange for his favors, he goes off into a fit of rage equal to that of the “evil ex” or whatever abusive guy she was involved with before.

That’s usually when he gets his ass kicked by said members of the Rogues gallery. Or the Police.

Captain-Save-A-Hoe types don’t want a woman to have a relationship where they are independent of them. No, they want a relationship where a woman becomes co-dependent. Co-dependency is a parasitic relationship where one partner is so needy that they leech onto the other and literally sucks the life out of them. Most Captain-Save-A-Hoe types wind up destroying the lives of the women they’re involved with by leech onto dysfunctional women and making them emotionally dependent on them. On the surface it looks like they’re taking care of an emotionally vulnerable woman, but that caretaking is just another form of control.

What really makes these guys douchebags is the fact that they are LIARS. They lie to dysfunctional and troubled women by pretending to be someone concerned with helping them when they’re actually out to exploit them. These parasites scavenge the bottom of the barrel of the dating pool offering a troubled woman an opportunity at a better life. However the whole goal of his romantic pursuits is to find an emotionally vulnerable woman and make her completely dependent on HIM.

In addition to the lies Captain Save-A-Hoe types tell to women, they lie to themselves. And it’s those lies that do the most harm because they believe they’re actually the truth regarding their character. Captain-Save-A-Hoes believe they’re good men who should be praised for going out of their way to help out deeply troubled women. However, what they don’t understand it’s the selfish reasons behind helping those women that makes them jerks who should be reviled.

Captain-Save-A-Hoes usually don’t care how their help does more harm to a woman. As long as they get what their nut off and their ego sated, they’re indifferent to the further mental and psychological damage they inflict on a dysfunctional woman.

Thanks to the Captain-Save-A-Hoe’s lies, a troubled woman like a rape survivor or a sexual abuse survivor winds up more emotionally and psychologically damaged in the aftermath of the relationship because the sinister motives behind his “good deeds” further reinforces their reasons for not trusting men. Moreover, it gives them reasons not to trust professional men like counselors and psychiatrists who could help them effectively deal with their problems in the future.

Captain Save-A-Hoes aren’t heroes. No, they’re cowards without the courage to pursue women with honest intentions. They fear any relationship where they have to deal with a woman who is their equal, someone who can challenge them. They need contracts and strings as a way to control a relationship because they’re too insecure to trust a woman.

A Real Man is honest and up front when he pursues a woman. He clearly expresses his intents and motivations to a woman on day one. There are no implied contracts or ulterior motives behind his actions. When he does things for a woman, it’s with no strings attached.

And if he does pursue a woman with issues, he understands it’s not his job to save her and do things for her. He understands it’s her responsibility to make serious efforts to overcome her issues. While he may support her by offering some possible solutions, he encourages her to persevere towards solving her own problems and making her own decisions even if they don’t benefit him.

And if a woman is making no efforts to help herself, he helps himself by moving on.

Real Men understand that co-dependency is bad for both of them and no one person should be completely dependent on another person for everything. A healthy relationship is a partnership where two people support each other but can operate independently of each other.

Ladies need to understand Captain-Save-A-Hoe ain’t no Hero. When he’s out on patrol, he’s looking for a woman to control body and soul. So if you see this fool in your neighborhood just know he’s up to no good.

Tricks of a SIMP

What is a SIMP? A Simp is a guy who spends lots and lots of money to win a woman’s affection. Moreover, he’s a spineless brown-noser with no backbone who agrees and co-signs with everything a woman says and does in the hopes of getting into her pants.

What does a SIMP look like? The behaviors of these men are pretty easy to notice. Simps usually follow a pattern of behavior that’s easy to identify such as:

Looking at only the “prettiest and sexiest” women When it comes to pursuing relationships, a Simp gets tunnel vision. In his world a woman has to look like a supermodel or a movie star for him to consider approaching her for a date. Because Simps can’t see all the women out there, they miss out on all the great opportunities at romance and women willing to commit to long-term relationships. Ironically, their focus on appearance  leads to them being wide open for the predators of the world like chicken heads, gold-diggers and baby mamas.

Focusing on one woman. When it comes to looking the dating scene, some simps will focus on one woman and one woman only. That tunnel vision prevents him from seeing all the other women out there that are interested in him. Because a simp has low self-esteem, he can’t see his own value and that keeps him from showing people who care about him what he has to offer in terms of character.

Inability to understand social cues. Because a Simp is so thirsty for a woman’s affection, he can’t see social cues. He doesn’t take the time to study body language or read facial expressions. He can’t feel the vibes of attraction two people have for each other. And because he can’t understand these basic social cues, he can’t tell the difference between a real smile and a pasted on one. He can’t understand that crossed legs and arms mean stay away. And he can’t figure out a pecked kiss on the cheek means he’s in the friend zone.

Inability to understand women have flaws. A simp doesn’t understand women aren’t perfect. In his world women can do no wrong and don’t have flaws. And because he can’t see a woman’s flaws, especially those pertaining to character he tolerates abuse and humiliation from female suitors just so he can have a relationship.

Because he doesn’t understand women have flaws, a Simp tries to shoehorn himself into relationships that clearly don’t work. Worse, he tries to change himself to make himself into the perfect partner for an imperfect relationship. Combined with his inability to understand social cues, the inability to understand that women have flaws are the primary reason why the Simp gets into trouble when it comes to romance.

Brown nosing in women’s faces to get in their pants. A simp is a notorious ass-kisser. He’ll always take the woman’s side in the hopes she’ll be appreciative of him and see him as some kind of sensitive guy. What he doesn’t know is that he comes across as dishonest and deceitful. A real man is up front and honest in all of his actions and his words. He doesn’t have to use the backdoor as an entry way to get at a woman’s heart. Moreover, he isn’t afraid to express his opinions and understands that there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with a partner.

Agrees with a woman ALL the time. No matter the woman’s position, even if she is wrong, the simp will agree with her. This is something a simp has learned from childhood. Simps are usually raised by single mothers and throughout their lives have heard their mothers constantly badmouth their fathers. So they’re going to do their best to not be like their dads. Unfortunately, they don’t understand that by agreeing with a woman all the time they’re coming across like a wimp with no backbone.

Gives a woman whatever she wants. Because a simp has no backbone and wants to please a woman he can’t say NO to a woman. All a woman has to do is tell a simp she wants something and he’ll try to move heaven and earth to get it for her. Even if it costs him everything he owns and puts him into debt.

Not Establishing Boundaries.  A simp puts the woman ahead of himself. Worse, he doesn’t establish boundaries for any relationship he involves himself in with a woman. This turns him into a doormat that women walk all over and wipe their feet on.

Fights for women who aren’t fighting for him. A simp will get involved in a woman’s fights to get brownie points with her. It’s not common for a conniving woman to send a Simp to fight other men who got in an argument with her. He thinks he’s defending her honor. He thinks he’s protecting her. But he’s being made a fool of. And he usually pays for it by getting his ass kicked. And in some cases he winds up doing prison time. In the most extreme cases he winds up dead.

Constantly calling/showing up. A Simp is notoriously insecure. When he gets a woman to pay attention to him, he just can’t leave well enough alone. He’s the kind of idiot who calls a woman in the middle of the day just to find out “how she’s doing”. And he does this EVERY DAY. He’s the kind of jackass who shows up at work unannounced. He’s the kind of guy who shows up at a woman’s gym where she works out with a dozen roses. He thinks he’s being cute. He thinks he’s being affectionate. What he’s actually doing is SMOTHERING someone and making them head for the exit. Violations of personal space and boundaries aren’t sexy. They’re borderline stalker behavior.

Thirsty. Simps are usually starved emotionally, so they live for any attention any woman throws in their direction. Because they’ve been emotionally unfulfilled for so long, they get tunnel vision when a woman pays attention to them. Instead of being patient, and seeing what direction a relationship goes in, they try to rush things along. Worse, when things don’t look like they’re working, they try to force them to work. By being so eager for affection they give up all their power in a relationship. This leaves them wide open to be taken advantage of by predatory women.

Owns the latest widget/gadget. Another way to spot a Simp is by his gadgets. He owns the latest cell phone, ipod, ipad, or whatever hot widget and loves to show it off. At home he has a leather sectional and a big screen TV. And they’re all top-of-the-line brand names. He needs all these toys so he can get the attention of a woman. Sadly, she’s only interested in the stuff he has not who he is.

Flashing lots of cash. Simps love to flash cash in public. It’s not common for a simp to carry a couple of hundred dollar bills or a bunch of fifties. They think carrying this much money will impress the ladies, but it’s just bait for all the gold-diggers, chicken heads, baby mamas and other parasitic women who look for a fool to take advantage of.

Spending lots of money. Cash is how the Simp primarily woos the women he desires. It’s not common for a Simp to spend $200 or $300 on a date. If they really like a woman they’ll even spend $1000 on a magical evening. It’s also not common for them to pay a woman’s rent buy her expensive clothes, shoes and in some cases buy stuff for her kids. Simps spend big for one day but starve for the rest of the month. Sometimes they don’t even pay their own rent in their quest to get a date.

Wears a lot expensive designer clothes. Simps are notorious peacocks. They love to wear expensive brand names to get the attention of women. The sad part is that they don’t understand women are looking at the labels these guys are wearing, not at them.

Drives an expensive car. You’ll never see a simp in a four-year-old Honda Accord or a Subaru that’s paid for. No, those cars are too plain and dependable for them. A Simp has to drive a car that EVERYONE sees. These are the guys who make $25,000-$30,000 a year but are still paying most of their paycheck for a Corvette, Mercedes, Lexus, a BMW or a Cadillac Escalade with all the options so they can look like a big shot to the ladies.

Playing a loud stereo. Simps have no personality and no game. So they need diversions to get attention from women. And one of those ways they get women to pay attention to them is to make a lot of noise. Literally.

Simps let the stereo pump when they’re at home. And when they’re on the street they let the stereo blast in their cars. Some of these dudes let their cell phones and ipods blast. Anything to get women to notice them. While they may look cool in their own eyes they can’t see how they look like a chump to everyone else.

Lots of big talk. Simps are big talkers. Unfortunately, most of it is all hot air. They hope that their big talk will make other men feel inadequate so the competition will eliminate itself and he can have access to more women.

But real men know all a Simp’s big talk is crap they can’t back up. That most of what comes out of their mouth is usually a pack of lies. Real men understand that action speaks louder than words, and that honesty is the greatest action of all when it comes down to romance.

Doing everything BIG. A Simp has to do everything BIG. He can’t just take a woman to a coffee shop and talk so he can get to know her and find out about who she is and what type of character she has. No, he needs to deflect her attention from his numerous character flaws with his money and his man toys. He’s the kind of guy who brings roses to a first date. He takes her to the finest restaurants for dinner followed by dancing at the trendiest club. Then after he’s blown his paycheck for the next two weeks, he’s begging friends to borrow $20 so he can get on the bus or gas for his car so he can go to work the next week.

Putting down other men to get points. A real man works towards earning a woman’s respect through his actions. He has enough confidence to sell himself on the merits. A Simp on the other hand feels inadequate and feels he has to do things to make the other men look weak to get the same women to look at him. To win a woman’s affection, Simps love to put down men and make fun of them while selling themselves as superior. What they don’t know is that they look like cowards in the eyes of both men and women.

NO PERSONALITY All of these tactics a Simp uses show how they have next to no interpersonal skills in communicating with the fairer sex. The goal of the flashy clothes, cash and expensive car are to divert a woman’s attention from their inability to relate to someone and connect with them. Simps lack the confidence to stand out in the dating scene on their own and need props to get women to notice them. Unfortunately, all that flash can’t cover for their lack of substance.

Tries the same things over and over again with the same people over and over again. When a Simp first doesn’t succeed at winning a woman’s affection, He tries again. And again. And again. With the same woman. And the same failed approaches. Some of us call this insanity.

But in a Simp’s mind perseverance will pay off. Eventually. What a Simp doesn’t understand is that there are six billion people on planet Earth. There are literally hundreds of millions of chances to find a woman. But thanks to his tunnel vision, a Simp wastes valuable time and money on his fixation on the woman of his dreams instead of looking for someone else who would support him in making their dreams come true.

Bad at breakups. Most men can take breakup. While they may hurt for a while, they eventually heal up, learn their lessons and move on. A Simp…will never get over it.

Simps will try to stay in a bad relationship with a woman that doesn’t want them and clearly doesn’t care about them. Even though things are clearly not working, they’ll continue trying to buy affection with presents and gifts in the hopes that one day things will get better. These men don’t know when to put a period at the end of a relationship. Usually it takes things like restraining orders and severe beatings to make them leave someone alone.

The most pathetic sight in the world is watching a grown man emasculate himself and sacrifice his dignity for the affection of a woman. That’s why no one respects a Simp. People can’t love someone who doesn’t love themselves enough to establish boundaries for how they’ll be treated in a relationship.

Please brothers, stop with the Simpin. It’s not a good look. 

Commencement Book Four- The Conclusion

It all comes down to faith in the final chapter of the Commencement Saga 

Commencement Book four on Smashwords (FREE!)

Commencement Book Four-The Conclusion on Nook

Commencement Book Four-The conclusion on Kindle!

Commencement Book Three

Commencement Book Two

Commencement Book One 

And you can get the complete Commencement in paperback here at Amazon and B&N!

Pondering What to do Next about my Unemployment Situation

I’ve been out of work for three going on four years now.

The more I think about my job situation the more frustrated I get. I’m a smart man. But I can’t figure out how to get hired. That keeps me up nights. It makes me anxious. It depresses me sometimes. I run down everything I do over and over again looking for an answer and still come up with nothing.

In the aftermath of the whole three year CUNY/Civil Service disaster I’ve just been regrouping this past few months. Pondering what to do next and how I’ll make my next move.

Lately friends and family have been giving me advice. The same advice I got from them that hasn’t worked since September of 1994.

Some suggest I temp. I’ve done the temp agency thing since 1992. Most times I don’t get past the application stage. After I graduated high school I had to deal with rude temp agency people who didn’t want to give me a job because I had no experience.

Then I graduated college and the same people STILL didn’t want to offer me temp work. Mind you, most of the temp jobs were retail minimum wage positions or entry-level office positions, jobs perfect for someone with no experience.

But they didn’t want to hire me. In fact, when I went to register for a few temp agencies in 2001, it was the same story. No work available. And this was with proficiency in Microsoft Office and a year of experience at STRIVE’s Americaorps*VISTA program.

Personally, when it comes to work at temp agencies I just think it’s plain old racism that keeps me from getting work there. Many of the people there won’t say it but I know employees at temp agencies don’t like hiring Black men for jobs. A lot of the White people who work at these places still believe old stereotypes about Black men being lazy, incompetent or unprofessional and do things to discourage Black men from looking for work there.

That’s why since 2001, I’ve avoided temping like a plague.

Right now on paper I’d probably be someone they could use for a variety of assignments. Over fifteen years of experience, an expert with Microsoft Office and Adobe software on Windows and Macintosh, (I installed XP on my Mac using Parallells) Experienced in publishing and screenwriting, a skilled organizer and coordinator who has led multiple projects to completion.

But considering my past decade of bad experiences with most temp agencies I know it’d be a waste of time applying there.

Others suggest I take a job at a retail establishment like Target or K-Mart. Something to have some money in my pocket.

I’ve been trying to get that job since 1990. All anyone says is that they’ll call me after I fill out the application.

With my savings declining, I’d love to take a job in retail. Unfortunately, if you have anything lower than a GED your chances of getting hired in retail are slim to none. Most stores don’t like hiring college graduates. They’re afraid of that big U- Union.

 Moreover, they’re scared of hiring anyone who has an actual work ethic or wants to make a commitment in retail. Most retail jobs are designed to make someone fail, and to increase the chances of someone failing, retailers hire the rudest, surliest and most unprofessional people for customer service and sales jobs to make the environment on the sales floor as hostile as possible. Senior Management wants people to quit after six to eight months to keep their overhead costs low. That keeps them from having to pay unemployment compensation to workers.

Then there’s the stigma of taking a retail job as it relates to my long-term job prospects. Some of the more snottier job interviewers I’ve run into tend to think a person taking a retail job to pay bills as a bad thing. They don’t see it as a testament to someone’s character to take any work to pay their bills.

A few suggest I volunteer. I did the whole volunteer thing for STRIVE in 2000 for Americorps*VISTA. I gave my all in that position, going above and beyond. I was commended for helping STRIVE out during a crisis. While employees were resigning left and right and taking jobs elsewhere, I kept my project on course. Because of my leadership, there were rumors I was to be hired for a full-time position.

But when I met with the Vice President of the organization for lunch to discuss my future there he told me he didn’t have a place for me in the organization.

But he had a place for his Ivy League buddy who had been traveling in Spain for two years.

Since then I’ve soured on volunteering. I feel it’s one big screwjob. From personal experience I know you can give your all to an organization and instead of supporting and rewarding the people who commit to it, they hire cronies and friends.

So I want nothing to do with volunteering or non-profits. They’re just one big con.

Others suggest I go back to school. While I graduated with a 3.95 GPA at Monroe College I don’t feel more education will change my situation. The same people who were ignoring me with a high school diploma and a college degree will be the same ones to ignore me if I get another degree. I just feel they’ll just come up with another excuse not to hire me.

On top of it I’ll just wind up in a bunch of debt. Debt I won’t be able to pay once I graduate. I don’t want to jack up my credit rating by defaulting on loans. My good credit is one of the few things I have going for me, and I don’t want to risk it.

Looking at the kids occupying Wall Street, getting another degree will do me about as much good as a roll of toilet paper.

I’m tired of the job hunting merry-go-round. I feel that going around in circles doing the exact same things over and over and over again and expecting a different result is just insane. I feel it’s time to try something different.

I just wish I could figure whatever that was.

I’ve made more progress in self-publishing in four years than in the job market over the past two decades. Since 2009, I’ve gained more experience working for myself than I did at any of the paying jobs I had. In fact, I’ve gained so many skills I actually teach others about self-publishing.

I wish I could just make as much money as I did working full-time.

Figuring out the publishing was actually easier than figuring out the job market. And this is after working a year at the leading job readiness program in the country.

The more I look at the job market, the more I realize it’s not about education. It’s not about experience.

It’s about values. Those intangible social variables that attract individuals to each other. Those ideas and beliefs people have that are similar.  It’s those things in common that make people more likely to favor those like themselves. And because they share something in common with them on some level, they hire people who are just like themselves.

Regardless of education or experience.

Part of Human nature is that people who are alike gravitate towards each other. People who share similar values and beliefs tend to relate to each other. They tend to identify and relate to each other’s experiences. And because they relate to each other they trust each other in the workplace.

Maybe the problem is that I haven’t found those in my social circle. Maybe I need to find those like myself. Maybe there I’ll finally get that full-time job or get the big break that will enable me to finally take my career to the next level.

But until I can sell enough books to pay my bills, I need a new full-time job. And I need a new approach to finding one. Because the doing the same old things over and over again is getting me nowhere.

There’s got to be an answer to this conundrum. I’m just hoping I can figure it out before my savings run out.